19 Jan 2025 Being an Example

Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing well even though this world seems so crazy right now. Last night I experienced Tik Tok going dark and today it being back on. So nuts! A bunch of us went to an app called Favorite and others Clapper – so many their servers couldn’t handle it. Tomorrow Donald Trump will be sworn in and already things are changing and happening. I don’t know if I should be excited or scared!

I forced myself to go to church this morning. Some days it’s really hard for me! I’m always glad after I go it’s just the getting up and going. Today’s message came out of Colossians – all the things that Jesus is in the world. Pastor Jayson used clearing the windshield as an example of what Paul is doing in his writing. The past couple of Sundays and other gatherings have been trying to reach me – teach me. We are living testimonies of Jesus in the world and not meant to just be seat warmers on Sunday. We as Christians are meant to be examples of Jesus’s love in the world. Right now, as I look at my life, I feel like there is more I should be doing to be that example. Sometimes I feel the 12 years of being a pagan slipping in. I feel like my faith and practice is shallow- I feel almost like a fraud! There is work to be done and I’m reluctant to do it. I am going to a Bible study with my Aunt and go to a prayer meeting each Thursday and that helps.

Ever since I have been back on Depakote to treat my Bipolar symptoms – especially the mania- I don’t have deep feelings. My emotions don’t feel authentic. I used to feel things very deeply and now I don’t hardly have feelings at all! Depakote is one of the best medications for Bipolar but I hate what it has done to me as side effects! I still haven’t cried about my Dads passing over a year ago! It’s such a fragile balance between being “normal” and being too emotional – manic. What I’ve been going through is why many stop taking their meds. When I tell people I love them I don’t feel it like I used to. It feels like just words. How can I be an example of Jesus’s love in the world and be this way?! I feel like I am pretending and not authentically being. I am surrounded by such authentic Christians and I feel like I’m just trying to fit in! I have a tattoo of a chameleon on my right arm and it sometimes feels like I am such a being. I’m trying to fit in to a life that feels like I’m pretending sometimes.

I have been talking to Jesus about all of this. Last night we talked about how he is the only man in my life that will never leave me. Two marriages have ended because of my being Bipolar. I am going to be 57 this next month and the older I get the less likely it will be that I have another flesh and blood man in my life. The older I get the less I even want the complications of someone else’s life in mine! I just need to keep praying and remain open to where I am lead. I want to be a positive example of Christ in this world with the time I have left. I just want to feel it and not just go through the motions! May be by my sharing what I’m going through I am fulfilling Jesus’s purpose in my life. I can’t give up – I know that!

I hope my words in this message help someone besides just me!

Colossians 1:15-23New International Version

The Supremacy of the Son of God

15 The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19 For God was pleasedto have all his fullness dwell in him, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peacethrough his blood, shed on the cross.

21 Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of[a] your evil behavior. 22 But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— 23 if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.

6 Jan 2025 Different

What could you do differently?

Hello to you! Hope this finds you well. So much of the world seems to be in some sort of calamity. I sometimes feel guilty for having such a good life. May be God is giving me a break from calamities and drama!

Todays prompt is thought provoking. As I review my current life, I think I could be more active. I have been trying to lose weight and the scale is just not budging. I think that’s because cutting back how much I’m eating and what I’m eating is not enough. Part of the problem is the medication I’m on. Depakote is known for contributing to weight gain. I’ve been thinking about getting a treadmill or stationary bike to help me be more active. The only problem is I live in a very small home and would have to make room for these items. I walk Link once a day and have been thinking about starting to walk an additional lap after I get him around once. It’s been about 2 almost 3 years since I’ve been able to walk a lot like I used to. Something happened to my system when the police tased me! I haven’t been the same since. I really believe they short circuited my system. I have had to push through and some days it’s so hard. My Aunt and I talked about this yesterday. I want Jesus to heal me as there is no cure for what is going on with me. She made a prayer card for me – everything helps! I think of the episode of The Chosen where I think of when James asks Jesus why he hasn’t healed him :

https://youtu.be/KZDvcEkjthA?si=msC7Zhx91baeldiL– Why Haven’t You Healed me (The Chosen Scene)

I keep thinking he could heal me but for some reason he hasn’t. Is it like with James? Would I become like I was before surrendering myself to his care? Would I need him less? Is there something he wants to do through me just as I currently am? So many questions I have for him some day when I meet him face to face!

5 Jan 2025 Connection

Hello there! How are you? Hope this finds you well. I went to church today and there were a lot of good messages. What resonated with me was the word of the year: Connection and how God uses people in our lives to do what he cannot tangibly do. I had been struggling with a decision about whether or not to join my Aunt in a Bible study. She reassured me today when I went over to her and Uncle Johns place to visit that Pastor Jayson’s message was for me! First of all there were hugs! I’m so grateful for those! It couldn’t be more loud and clear! So I’m planning on joining her for the Bible study I just won’t order the workbook – they tend to be a waste of money for me. Some days it’s a real struggle to get out of my own head! She also filled out a prayer card for me to pray for healing from the balance issues I have that make it difficult for me to do most anything physical. I’m so blessed to have such a wonderful support system. Sometimes I feel so alone but like what happened today reassures me that I am far from it. My family and my church friends are there to fill the void in my life. Link can only do so much!

Part of the reason I am reluctant to be gone a lot and hold back from connection in my life is I don’t like leaving Link by himself a lot. This is a dilemma common to pet owners. I know what it’s like to be alone without him around and it’s almost unbearable! I have always had a problem with being away from my animals or leaving them in someone else’s care. That’s probably why I don’t know if I will have any more after Link journeys on. Part of my thinking that way is I don’t know if I can take having my heart broken again!

Psalm 86:11New International Version

11 Teach me your way, Lord,
    that I may rely on your faithfulness;
give me an undivided heart,
    that I may fear your name.

2 Jan 2025 Happy New Year? Challenges

What are your biggest challenges?

Hello to you! The reason behind the question mark is because of all the stuff that has been happening already in this new year! Terrorism, weird particulate fog and more people driving into crowds like in New Orleans are just a couple examples. People have just lost their damn minds and we are barely into the new year! The fog with small particles was reported in Florida and now it’s all over and it’s causing respiratory problems.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-14239417/thick-fog-mystery-chemical-smell-reports.html

A thick fog is sweeping across the US with locals in multiple states reporting how a ‘burning chemical-like smell’ has blanketed their communities.

Concerned Americans have flooded social media with videos of what looks like white particles raining down and swirling in the air. 

Some witnesses have also claimed the fog has also triggered health symptoms similar to a respiratory illness.

Florida resident told DailyMail.com that they stopped at a gas station for about 10 minutes and began feeling ill.

‘Within about and hour, I kept sneezing over and over for about three hours, and my eyes were really puffy,’ she said.

‘I got very warm and I felt like I had a fever, and my stomach was cramping.’ 

Parts of TexasWisconsinIowaMarylandVirginiaWest VirginiaNebraskaKansasOklahomaNorth Dakota, Florida, and Minnesota were under fog alerts when the bizarre reports surfaced this week.

Similar experiences have also emerged from parts of Canada and the UK, sparking widespread concern.

Conspiracy theories are running rampant with people suggesting the fog could be a kind of chemical weapon or is related to the drones that mysteriously plagued the nation in December.

‘Well weren’t there drones that sprayed something? I seem to recall some videos of that somewhere… No idea of the validity though,’ asked one X user.

A Texas woman shared on X that her dog has been ‘acting strange’ when it goes outside.

She] keeps smelling the air,’ Sandra Jenkins Webb posted, adding that she was experiencing burning eyes, a mild cough, stomach aches and headaches.

Another woman in Kansas shared that there were ‘massive amounts of chemtrails’ over the area in a week, followed by a dense fog.

And a California resident shared on X Monday: ‘Here in SoCal, unusual fog the last few days. Strange smells, but I’ve been noticing the smell for months now, burns my nose. Seems like an all-out assault from the skies the last few days.’ 

David Bamber, from St Petersburg, Florida, shared a TikTok video of himself walking through the dense fog.

He explained that fog typically dissipates later in the day, but the the current natural phenomenon lingers into all hours of the night.

‘The weirdest part is the taste and smell,’ said Bamber.  ‘It’s smells like after you set off a bunch of fireworks and the taste of the air is toxic. It is super weird.’

However, the National Weather Service (NWS) issued a dense fog advisory for multiple states, suggesting there could be a scientific explanation behind the bizarre reports.

While the particles may seem unusual, fog is a visible aerosol consisting of tiny water droplets or ice crystals suspended in the air at or near the Earth’s surface.

Shining a light in the fog makes these particles visible.

As for the ‘chemical’ smell people have described, the fog can absorb and trap polluted air near the Earth’s surface, acting as a carrier for car exhaust, industrial emissions and other airborne chemicals.

‘When fog forms, sulfur oxides, nitrogen oxides, and other polluting gases are taken up or ‘scavenged’ by fog water droplets,’ explained Rudolf Husar, a Washington University atmospheric scientist, in an article for NASA Earth Observatory.

What’s more, smells become more potent in humid air because the water droplets trap the odor-causing molecules and allow them to linger for longer and remain concentrated.   

This is not unusual for this time of year. 

Fog forms when the temperature cools to the dew point, or the temperature at which air can become completely saturated with water. 

Much of the fog currently hanging over the US is likely advection fog, which typically forms in winter when warm, moist air flows over colder land.

This is commonly seen over the southern or central US, where many affected states are located.   

(There is more to this article to include video if you use link)

So what are my biggest challenges? One of them is staying on a regular sleep schedule. Another is not wanting to eat junk food and sweets so I can lose weight. One of my biggest challenges is getting out of my small little world I share with Link. Since I don’t like to drive that much it makes it hard for me to have a social life.

I want for this in my life. Sometimes it feels like my faith alone is just not strong enough:

Psalm 34:4New International Version

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
    he delivered me from all my fears

25 Dec 2024 Merry Christmas and Creativity

How are you creative?

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you! The past couple of days have been full of blessings and I am so grateful! On Christmas Eve I went with my Aunt Ruth and Uncle John to my cousin Tony and his wife Tawna’s house for a wonderful meal and visit. They ordered a feast through the restaurant Cracker Barrel and everything was so good! We were joined by Tony’s son and his wife who is in the process of becoming a doctor and Mitchell was just promoted to Captain! They may be moving to Arizona so that made this visit even more special!

A Captain and a lovely doctor in the making!

After dinner there were gifts to open and everyone was too full for dessert! We got to see Tawna’s little old man dachshund Eli – so sweet!

My earth angel Tawna
Tawna and my cousin Tony – these two are so dear to me! Part of my earth angels here in Idaho

Today I was awakened by a call from my Aunt to wish me a Merry Christmas which was so sweet. I was in bed late as I woke up at around 3 am and had trouble going back to sleep. I had one of my shadow people dreams that scared me awake. I got up and Link and I went over to my Aunt and Uncles house for Christmas dinner. They had the table set with nice plates and the turkey was already cooked. They did the bag kind and it was perfect – so moist and tender! They made a bunch of dressing which is my favorite side dish. We had mashed potatoes and some salad. Everything was so good! We watched the squirrels and birds they feed at the feeder they have. So cute and entertaining! After dinner there were a couple gifts to include a new baby for Link. Ruth got him to tear the paper off which surprised and delighted me! He’s never done that before. He hid it somewhere we couldn’t find. He does that with his favorite toys. My Aunt is one of his favorite people! Then we watched a holiday edition of Sister Boniface which is one of our favorite shows we watch when I go over to their house. I didn’t have room for dessert so they sent me home with leftovers and pie. What a special day!

Uncle John and Aunt Ruth more earth angels

As I reflect on this holiday I find myself feeling so grateful and blessed! So many special memories have been made with my family here. They help chase the Grinch I can be away this time of year!

My creativity these days is this blog. Writing is my only real outlet these past couple of years.

This passage is very fitting for how my family is: and is teaching me to be:

1 Corinthians 13New International Version

13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poorand give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b]but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies,they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.But the greatest of these is love.

20 Dec 2024 Fun

What was the last thing you did for play or fun?

Good evening to you. Hope this finds you well. In answer to today’s prompt the last thing I did for fun is play with Link my dog. Sometimes in the evening he gets a wild hair up his butt and wants to play with his partially broke down chewy or one of his favorite babies he likes to hide in plain sight. He’s irresistibly cute when he does this and I just have to join in the fun!

Link with a toy my Aunt Ruth gave him that is one of his favorites! He’s looking a little unkempt – before getting groomed!

Psalm 59:16New International Version

16 But I will sing of your strength,
    in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress,
    my refuge in times of trouble.

11 Dec 2024 Favorite Physical Activities or Exercises

What are your favorite physical activities or exercises?

Hello there! How are you?! I’m doing ok. I’ve been watching the news reports about objects they claim are drones flying over New Jersey and other parts of the world for weeks now. They had a hearing about it just yesterday and the FBI claims to not know what they are. One news report I heard today is there is an Iranian mothership bought from China in the ocean where these are allegedly coming from. It’s so bizarre because they are not the normal size of most drones people have access to. Some have been reported to be the size of a small SUV! With the recent hearings about UAPs and our being told we are not alone – that we are in fact being visited by beings or objects from other worlds or dimensions, I think it’s all connected somehow. I don’t think we are alone and I have been waiting all my life for the truth to be revealed! In yesterday’s hearing they were asking why if they are drones and a possible threat to the security of the citizens they are flying over they aren’t being shot down. I don’t think they are sure what to do about this! They didn’t have a definitive answer. They have put zero dollars in the budget for this sort of thing. Some people suspect these are not of this world but being put out there to act like something we already know so we won’t be afraid when the truth comes out. I saw a report of a man in New Jersey taking matters into his own hands and shooting at one of them as it flew over his house – he was arrested. People are alarmed over this! Something is happening and I hope it’s not just smoke and mirrors to distract us from matters affecting all of us. This year is definitely closing out on a weird note!

Whew! Now to today’s prompt! The one physical activity that I enjoy is walking even if it’s hard for me to do with the Mal de barque syndrome going on. I force myself to go with Link at least once a day. We go around the block. I am winded but we do it and it’s good for both of us. There was a time in my life, well most of my life, that I was really active. I ran, played volleyball, worked out at the gym, danced, road bike and did yoga as just a few examples. Now that I have put on so much weight and have balance issues with the Mal de barque syndrome – walking is really all I can do along with sit-ups and arm exercises. Slowly I am losing weight.

This passage from Ezekiel and messages in Revelations makes me think that people writing about these experiences back then were much like people of today trying to describe what they are experiencing in New Jersey and other places in the world right now. Sometimes words aren’t enough!

Ezekiel 10-11New International Version

God’s Glory Departs From the Temple

10 I looked, and I saw the likeness of a throne of lapis lazuli above the vault that was over the heads of the cherubim. The Lord said to the man clothed in linen, “Go in among the wheels beneath the cherubim. Fill your hands with burning coals from among the cherubim and scatter them over the city.” And as I watched, he went in.

Now the cherubim were standing on the south side of the temple when the man went in, and a cloud filled the inner court. Then the glory of the Lord rose from above the cherubim and moved to the threshold of the temple. The cloud filled the temple, and the court was full of the radiance of the glory of the Lord.The sound of the wings of the cherubim could be heard as far away as the outer court, like the voice of God Almighty[a] when he speaks.

When the Lord commanded the man in linen, “Take fire from among the wheels, from among the cherubim,” the man went in and stood beside a wheel.Then one of the cherubim reached out his hand to the fire that was among them. He took up some of it and put it into the hands of the man in linen, who took it and went out. (Under the wings of the cherubim could be seen what looked like human hands.)

I looked, and I saw beside the cherubim four wheels, one beside each of the cherubim; the wheels sparkled like topaz. 10 As for their appearance, the four of them looked alike; each was like a wheel intersecting a wheel. 11 As they moved, they would go in any one of the four directions the cherubim faced; the wheels did not turn about[b] as the cherubim went. The cherubim went in whatever direction the head faced, without turning as they went. 12 Their entire bodies, including their backs, their hands and their wings, were completely full of eyes, as were their four wheels. 13 I heard the wheels being called “the whirling wheels.”14 Each of the cherubim had four faces: One face was that of a cherub, the second the face of a human being, the third the face of a lion, and the fourth the face of an eagle.

15 Then the cherubim rose upward. These were the living creatures I had seen by the Kebar River.16 When the cherubim moved, the wheels beside them moved; and when the cherubim spread their wings to rise from the ground, the wheels did not leave their side. 17 When the cherubim stood still, they also stood still; and when the cherubim rose, they rose with them, because the spirit of the living creatures was in them.

18 Then the glory of the Lord departed from over the threshold of the temple and stopped above the cherubim. 19 While I watched, the cherubim spread their wings and rose from the ground, and as they went, the wheels went with them. They stopped at the entrance of the east gate of the Lord’s house, and the glory of the God of Israel was above them.

20 These were the living creatures I had seen beneath the God of Israel by the Kebar River, and I realized that they were cherubim. 21 Each had four faces and four wings, and under their wings was what looked like human hands. 22 Their faces had the same appearance as those I had seen by the Kebar River.Each one went straight ahead.

1 Dec 2024 Meant To Be

Hello to you from frosty Idaho. I had to scrape frost off of my windows before church this morning! Something I have been following lately is the increased reporting of lights in the sky to include right over the Capitol building on Thanksgiving! Interesting times we are living in.

Lights captured over the Capitol building

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-14137567/Mysterious-lights-Capitol-Hill-sparks-fears-UFOs-Washington-DC.html

Today’s message at Grace Bible Church Middleton was from Christmas Story Meant To Be – Garden of Sorrow. Pastor Jayson was in Genesis Chapter 2 and 3:

Genesis 2:8-9New International Version

Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed.The Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground—trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Genesis 3:1-4New International Version

The Fall

3 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman.

Out of these scripture we are told that God gives us great gifts but what God gave as a gift became a gift of sorrow by what Adam and Eve did by eating fruit from the one tree God told them not to eat from. The garden became a garden of sorrow instead of paradise. We are reminded in this season of gifts that it’s not entirely about the manger – Jesus’s birth – but ultimately the cross he would die on for that first sin and all sin that has followed.

This message makes me reflect on my walk of faith and all the ways I have fallen short – eaten fruit from the forbidden tree, broken commandments. I am so grateful to be knowing Jesus more and more. I have so much yet to learn! It’s important to know it’s never too late to know him.

30 Nov 2024 Thanksgiving and Favorite Things To Wear

What are your two favorite things to wear?

Hello to you this Saturday afternoon. I had a wonderful Thanksgiving at my cousin Heidi’s house along with her husband, my Aunt and Uncle and my cousins son, wife and two children. There was so much food I didn’t have room for dessert! We had turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green beans, stuffing, pistachio pudding salad, raspberry pudding salad and rolls! Whew! What a feast! It was so nice to be with everyone! I am so blessed to be here and be able to share the holidays with such loving family.

What a wonderful meal and company!

I caught a slight cold that showed up yesterday and is still hanging around today. Hope I wasn’t contagious to the family! No Black Friday shopping for me. From what Tik Tok was showing there weren’t a lot of shoppers. Apparently there just weren’t that great of sales to make it worth it. I’ve never been a fan of crowds anyways!

Todays prompt is hard to answer as the only things I wear on a favorites basis is jewelry. I have a ring engraved with the phrase “Not all who wander are lost” and my Metatrons Cube pendant I wear each day. I used to have a tie dye t-shirt I loved to wear a lot but I wore it out! When I couldn’t wear it in public I used it as a night shirt until it fell apart. Wearing stuff until it falls apart is something I do a lot!

  • Psalm 100:4-5“Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations”. 

20 Nov 2024 Positive Thinking in Uncertain Times

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. As I write to you I find myself feeling grateful to be living in the United States. In so many regions of this world there is uncertainty. When I see news reports coming from the Middle East and the Ukraine and Russia I feel that gratitude even more. I feel bad for these and other parts of the world not being safe, struggling to get food, drinking water and shelter. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to be a parent in these war torn regions! Every day there are bombs, gun fire and rubbled buildings- bodies of children wrapped in sheets.

I’m trying not to succumb to fear and paranoia of it all but it’s hard. These are uncertain times. Times to take out our gratitude lists and seek the light amongst the growing shadows. I am including all world leaders in my prayers and positive thoughts despite being very disappointed in decisions they have made and are continue to make. There doesn’t seem to be a guard rail for President Biden with his policies regarding the Ukraine.

I am hoping things will get better in January. Until then I hope things don’t escalate to a point of no return! I will try and remain positive. Now is the time to lean heavily on faith in Christ. With everything happening and happening so fast we must lean on our faith!

Matthew 24:6-8King James Version

And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.

For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.

All these are the beginning of sorrows.