24 Jan 2025 Where To Turn

Hello to you. I hope you are well and if you’re not, and many people are not, I hope you have a good support system. Have you considered surrendering your life to Jesus? Lately I have been seeing so many people at a loss of where to turn when their lives are falling apart. I saw this a lot prior to the Tik Tok ban – people just didn’t know what to do! They made posts and just cried. When I saw these videos I just found myself asking, “do you believe in God? Have you talked to God about your problems?”

I am a relatively new Christian and prior to surrendering to Jesus I thought I had to carry the weight of the world on my own two shoulders. Thankfully when I reached my bottom with my mental health and my marriage God put people in my life to give me a soft place to land. I spent so many hours on the phone with my cousins wife Tawna! She thankfully had the time in her life that she could be there for the countless walk and talks on the phone. I spent time on the phone with much of my Idaho family – I walked miles talking to them. Things were so bad I couldn’t leave the house without having someone on the phone. I couldn’t eat a meal without someone on the phone. What was missing in all that drama was my being willing to turn to Jesus. They already believed in him and prayed for me and that gave them the spiritual strength to help me navigate the personal haunted hell I was living in. I just couldn’t see my own way out!

I surrendered to the Holy Spirit when I wanted to be free of alcoholism and it worked in a powerful way. Door after door opened and shut with that surrender. For some reason I didn’t do that in Texas. I guess I had been a pagan so long (12 years) that I didn’t think I could do it. I didn’t think I could turn myself completely to Jesus.

Right now I’m in the process of working with Jesus about my health and the answer is he is healing me in his time and way not mine. Some of what is going on with me will probably never change because there is no cure – just treatment and management. Jesus is showing me that. I just have to know where to turn when times get tough. Sometimes through prayer and reaching out Jesus uses the people in my life as his body to assist. That’s what we are all here for!

https://youtu.be/JMj1ggINLe4?si=W9Kt3RCeA8A0z1cm – The Chosen Jesus Heals at the Pool

John 5New English Translation

Healing a Paralytic at the Pool of Bethesda

5 After this[a] there was a Jewish feast,[b] and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. Now there is[c] in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate[d] a pool called Bethzatha[e] in Aramaic,[f] which has five covered walkways.[g] A great number of sick, blind, lame, and paralyzed people were lying in these walkways.[h] Now a man was there who had been disabled for thirty-eight years.[i] When Jesus saw him lying there and when he realized[j] that the man[k] had been disabled a long time already, he said to him, “Do you want to become well?” The sick man answered him, “Sir,[l] I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up. While I am trying to get into the water,[m] someone else[n] goes down there[o] before me.” Jesus said to him, “Stand up! Pick up your mat[p] and walk.” Immediately the man was healed,[q] and he picked up his mat[r] and started walking. (Now that day was a Sabbath.)[s]

22 Jan 2025 Pet Understanding

If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be?

For today’s prompt – if there is one thing I could make Link understand it would be how much I love him. I don’t know if he fully understands what it means when I tell him I love him. I think animals love but it’s unconditional unlike human love tends to be. Like I’ve said before there is a good reason dog in reverse is god!

Yesterday I went to Bible study with my Aunt. There was a good turnout. There are about 8-9 ladies. In addition to going over the homework we share what is going on in our lives – great support system. We prayed for one of the ladies who feels like she and her family are under attack. I was able to share a bit of what I wrote about in my previous blog and got support about it. We have been going over what idols in our life prevent us from fully experiencing God in our lives. For many of us we have functional idols like our phones and just being busy – too busy to be open to what God wants for us. I would say my phone is a functional idol in my life. Without it there isn’t much going on in my life! I am trying to spend more time with God. Just started reading The Daily Bread before bed as a way to spend time in the word – something my Aunt suggested. I had forgotten that I had the app on my phone!

Exodus 20:22-24:18New International Version

Idols and Altars

22 Then the Lord said to Moses, “Tell the Israelites this: ‘You have seen for yourselves that I have spoken to you from heaven: 23 Do not make any gods to be alongside me; do not make for yourselves gods of silver or gods of gold.

24 “‘Make an altar of earth for me and sacrifice on it your burnt offerings and fellowship offerings, your sheep and goats and your cattle. Wherever I cause my name to be honored, I will come to you and blessyou. 25 If you make an altar of stones for me, do not build it with dressed stones, for you will defile it if you use a tool on it. 26 And do not go up to my altar on steps, or your private parts may be exposed.’

19 Jan 2025 Being an Example

Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing well even though this world seems so crazy right now. Last night I experienced Tik Tok going dark and today it being back on. So nuts! A bunch of us went to an app called Favorite and others Clapper – so many their servers couldn’t handle it. Tomorrow Donald Trump will be sworn in and already things are changing and happening. I don’t know if I should be excited or scared!

I forced myself to go to church this morning. Some days it’s really hard for me! I’m always glad after I go it’s just the getting up and going. Today’s message came out of Colossians – all the things that Jesus is in the world. Pastor Jayson used clearing the windshield as an example of what Paul is doing in his writing. The past couple of Sundays and other gatherings have been trying to reach me – teach me. We are living testimonies of Jesus in the world and not meant to just be seat warmers on Sunday. We as Christians are meant to be examples of Jesus’s love in the world. Right now, as I look at my life, I feel like there is more I should be doing to be that example. Sometimes I feel the 12 years of being a pagan slipping in. I feel like my faith and practice is shallow- I feel almost like a fraud! There is work to be done and I’m reluctant to do it. I am going to a Bible study with my Aunt and go to a prayer meeting each Thursday and that helps.

Ever since I have been back on Depakote to treat my Bipolar symptoms – especially the mania- I don’t have deep feelings. My emotions don’t feel authentic. I used to feel things very deeply and now I don’t hardly have feelings at all! Depakote is one of the best medications for Bipolar but I hate what it has done to me as side effects! I still haven’t cried about my Dads passing over a year ago! It’s such a fragile balance between being “normal” and being too emotional – manic. What I’ve been going through is why many stop taking their meds. When I tell people I love them I don’t feel it like I used to. It feels like just words. How can I be an example of Jesus’s love in the world and be this way?! I feel like I am pretending and not authentically being. I am surrounded by such authentic Christians and I feel like I’m just trying to fit in! I have a tattoo of a chameleon on my right arm and it sometimes feels like I am such a being. I’m trying to fit in to a life that feels like I’m pretending sometimes.

I have been talking to Jesus about all of this. Last night we talked about how he is the only man in my life that will never leave me. Two marriages have ended because of my being Bipolar. I am going to be 57 this next month and the older I get the less likely it will be that I have another flesh and blood man in my life. The older I get the less I even want the complications of someone else’s life in mine! I just need to keep praying and remain open to where I am lead. I want to be a positive example of Christ in this world with the time I have left. I just want to feel it and not just go through the motions! May be by my sharing what I’m going through I am fulfilling Jesus’s purpose in my life. I can’t give up – I know that!

I hope my words in this message help someone besides just me!

Colossians 1:15-23New International Version

The Supremacy of the Son of God

15 The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19 For God was pleasedto have all his fullness dwell in him, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peacethrough his blood, shed on the cross.

21 Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of[a] your evil behavior. 22 But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— 23 if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.

10 Jan 2025 Sisters of Grace

Hello to you this quiet Friday afternoon. I hope this finds you well. There are a lot of people not doing well – living some kind of tragedy and my prayers are with all of you. I wanted to mention that my Aunts granddaughter is giving me a stationary bike tomorrow which will help me in my goal of getting more exercise! So grateful!

This morning was an early one as I joined my Aunt Ruth and several ladies from her church that they call The Sisters of Grace. We enjoyed bell players and a very powerful testimony of one of their members. There was lots of good food to include a coffee cake my Aunt made from scratch. The testimony was from a woman named Eliza and I could tell it was hard for her to tell some of it. She was a victim of generational trauma and had been involved with drugs, gangs, trafficking and even spent some time in prison before completely turning her life to Jesus. Now she and her husband lead Celebrate Recovery and a Deliverance and Healing Ministry. The chains of trauma have been broken for her and her children.

I always am moved almost to tears when I am with these women. Most of them are retired and many are widows. This fellowship helps all of us. The times I feel most like crying is when we sing together. There is something about it that makes me think of what heaven may be like- a collection of dear friends gathered singing eternal praise to Jesus. I get that way at church too – especially when I hear children singing along with the grown ups.

Matthew 18:20New International Version

20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

8 Jan 2025 Long Life

What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life?

Hello to you! I hope this finds you well. My prayers are going out to a lot of places these days. The latest area is Southern California and the fires. I hope they get some rain soon!

My thoughts about today’s prompt are if I get to live a long life, there will be many more hello’s and goodbyes- at my current age of 56 there have already been many! I look at my Aunt who just turned 80 this past November. She has lost many friends to cancer and has held grandchildren and great grandchildren and more are on the way! She has had to say goodbye to family for various reasons to include old age and sickness. If I get to live as long as she has I wonder if I will be alone as it doesn’t look like there will be a new man in my life anytime soon! Part of me doesn’t want to get real old. I see the elderly around me in a constant state of repairs and pain. It’s like having a new car and the warranty runs out and you have to keep going to the shop to get something fixed! If I knew now when I was younger I would have been kinder to my body.

Here are some Bible verses from the New International Version (NIV) about healing:

  • Psalm 107:20: “He sent out his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave” 
  • Luke 8:50: “Hearing this, Jesus said to Jairus, ‘Don’t be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed'” 
  • Mark 5:34: “He said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering'” 
  • Isaiah 40:29: “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak” 
  • Psalm 147:3: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” 
  • Jeremiah 17:14: “Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise” 
  • Psalm 103:2-3: “Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases” 
  • Isaiah 53:5: “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed” 

6 Jan 2025 Different

What could you do differently?

Hello to you! Hope this finds you well. So much of the world seems to be in some sort of calamity. I sometimes feel guilty for having such a good life. May be God is giving me a break from calamities and drama!

Todays prompt is thought provoking. As I review my current life, I think I could be more active. I have been trying to lose weight and the scale is just not budging. I think that’s because cutting back how much I’m eating and what I’m eating is not enough. Part of the problem is the medication I’m on. Depakote is known for contributing to weight gain. I’ve been thinking about getting a treadmill or stationary bike to help me be more active. The only problem is I live in a very small home and would have to make room for these items. I walk Link once a day and have been thinking about starting to walk an additional lap after I get him around once. It’s been about 2 almost 3 years since I’ve been able to walk a lot like I used to. Something happened to my system when the police tased me! I haven’t been the same since. I really believe they short circuited my system. I have had to push through and some days it’s so hard. My Aunt and I talked about this yesterday. I want Jesus to heal me as there is no cure for what is going on with me. She made a prayer card for me – everything helps! I think of the episode of The Chosen where I think of when James asks Jesus why he hasn’t healed him :

https://youtu.be/KZDvcEkjthA?si=msC7Zhx91baeldiL– Why Haven’t You Healed me (The Chosen Scene)

I keep thinking he could heal me but for some reason he hasn’t. Is it like with James? Would I become like I was before surrendering myself to his care? Would I need him less? Is there something he wants to do through me just as I currently am? So many questions I have for him some day when I meet him face to face!

5 Jan 2025 Connection

Hello there! How are you? Hope this finds you well. I went to church today and there were a lot of good messages. What resonated with me was the word of the year: Connection and how God uses people in our lives to do what he cannot tangibly do. I had been struggling with a decision about whether or not to join my Aunt in a Bible study. She reassured me today when I went over to her and Uncle Johns place to visit that Pastor Jayson’s message was for me! First of all there were hugs! I’m so grateful for those! It couldn’t be more loud and clear! So I’m planning on joining her for the Bible study I just won’t order the workbook – they tend to be a waste of money for me. Some days it’s a real struggle to get out of my own head! She also filled out a prayer card for me to pray for healing from the balance issues I have that make it difficult for me to do most anything physical. I’m so blessed to have such a wonderful support system. Sometimes I feel so alone but like what happened today reassures me that I am far from it. My family and my church friends are there to fill the void in my life. Link can only do so much!

Part of the reason I am reluctant to be gone a lot and hold back from connection in my life is I don’t like leaving Link by himself a lot. This is a dilemma common to pet owners. I know what it’s like to be alone without him around and it’s almost unbearable! I have always had a problem with being away from my animals or leaving them in someone else’s care. That’s probably why I don’t know if I will have any more after Link journeys on. Part of my thinking that way is I don’t know if I can take having my heart broken again!

Psalm 86:11New International Version

11 Teach me your way, Lord,
    that I may rely on your faithfulness;
give me an undivided heart,
    that I may fear your name.

4 Jan 2025 Greatest Gift

What is the greatest gift someone could give you?

Hello to you. Just got back from walking Link on this sunny Saturday afternoon. In so many ways he is a gift! He gives me cuddles, time and unconditional love. There is a reason dog spelled backwards is god! Someday he will break my heart as all pets do eventually. I try not to dwell on that too much!

I would say Jesus Christ is truly the greatest gift of all time. He is always there for you no matter what and he puts people and animals in your life to do what he cannot (tangible expressions of love like hugs). He gave the gift of his life for our salvation. I firmly believe that he has done that for me and I see him working in those he has surrounded me with. Sometimes I doubt his presence and then circumstances will happen in my life and my faith is restored. There have been hard times, the valleys, and he has restored me.

James 1:17New International Version

17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

2 Jan 2025 Happy New Year? Challenges

What are your biggest challenges?

Hello to you! The reason behind the question mark is because of all the stuff that has been happening already in this new year! Terrorism, weird particulate fog and more people driving into crowds like in New Orleans are just a couple examples. People have just lost their damn minds and we are barely into the new year! The fog with small particles was reported in Florida and now it’s all over and it’s causing respiratory problems.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-14239417/thick-fog-mystery-chemical-smell-reports.html

A thick fog is sweeping across the US with locals in multiple states reporting how a ‘burning chemical-like smell’ has blanketed their communities.

Concerned Americans have flooded social media with videos of what looks like white particles raining down and swirling in the air. 

Some witnesses have also claimed the fog has also triggered health symptoms similar to a respiratory illness.

Florida resident told DailyMail.com that they stopped at a gas station for about 10 minutes and began feeling ill.

‘Within about and hour, I kept sneezing over and over for about three hours, and my eyes were really puffy,’ she said.

‘I got very warm and I felt like I had a fever, and my stomach was cramping.’ 

Parts of TexasWisconsinIowaMarylandVirginiaWest VirginiaNebraskaKansasOklahomaNorth Dakota, Florida, and Minnesota were under fog alerts when the bizarre reports surfaced this week.

Similar experiences have also emerged from parts of Canada and the UK, sparking widespread concern.

Conspiracy theories are running rampant with people suggesting the fog could be a kind of chemical weapon or is related to the drones that mysteriously plagued the nation in December.

‘Well weren’t there drones that sprayed something? I seem to recall some videos of that somewhere… No idea of the validity though,’ asked one X user.

A Texas woman shared on X that her dog has been ‘acting strange’ when it goes outside.

She] keeps smelling the air,’ Sandra Jenkins Webb posted, adding that she was experiencing burning eyes, a mild cough, stomach aches and headaches.

Another woman in Kansas shared that there were ‘massive amounts of chemtrails’ over the area in a week, followed by a dense fog.

And a California resident shared on X Monday: ‘Here in SoCal, unusual fog the last few days. Strange smells, but I’ve been noticing the smell for months now, burns my nose. Seems like an all-out assault from the skies the last few days.’ 

David Bamber, from St Petersburg, Florida, shared a TikTok video of himself walking through the dense fog.

He explained that fog typically dissipates later in the day, but the the current natural phenomenon lingers into all hours of the night.

‘The weirdest part is the taste and smell,’ said Bamber.  ‘It’s smells like after you set off a bunch of fireworks and the taste of the air is toxic. It is super weird.’

However, the National Weather Service (NWS) issued a dense fog advisory for multiple states, suggesting there could be a scientific explanation behind the bizarre reports.

While the particles may seem unusual, fog is a visible aerosol consisting of tiny water droplets or ice crystals suspended in the air at or near the Earth’s surface.

Shining a light in the fog makes these particles visible.

As for the ‘chemical’ smell people have described, the fog can absorb and trap polluted air near the Earth’s surface, acting as a carrier for car exhaust, industrial emissions and other airborne chemicals.

‘When fog forms, sulfur oxides, nitrogen oxides, and other polluting gases are taken up or ‘scavenged’ by fog water droplets,’ explained Rudolf Husar, a Washington University atmospheric scientist, in an article for NASA Earth Observatory.

What’s more, smells become more potent in humid air because the water droplets trap the odor-causing molecules and allow them to linger for longer and remain concentrated.   

This is not unusual for this time of year. 

Fog forms when the temperature cools to the dew point, or the temperature at which air can become completely saturated with water. 

Much of the fog currently hanging over the US is likely advection fog, which typically forms in winter when warm, moist air flows over colder land.

This is commonly seen over the southern or central US, where many affected states are located.   

(There is more to this article to include video if you use link)

So what are my biggest challenges? One of them is staying on a regular sleep schedule. Another is not wanting to eat junk food and sweets so I can lose weight. One of my biggest challenges is getting out of my small little world I share with Link. Since I don’t like to drive that much it makes it hard for me to have a social life.

I want for this in my life. Sometimes it feels like my faith alone is just not strong enough:

Psalm 34:4New International Version

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
    he delivered me from all my fears

25 Dec 2024 Merry Christmas and Creativity

How are you creative?

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you! The past couple of days have been full of blessings and I am so grateful! On Christmas Eve I went with my Aunt Ruth and Uncle John to my cousin Tony and his wife Tawna’s house for a wonderful meal and visit. They ordered a feast through the restaurant Cracker Barrel and everything was so good! We were joined by Tony’s son and his wife who is in the process of becoming a doctor and Mitchell was just promoted to Captain! They may be moving to Arizona so that made this visit even more special!

A Captain and a lovely doctor in the making!

After dinner there were gifts to open and everyone was too full for dessert! We got to see Tawna’s little old man dachshund Eli – so sweet!

My earth angel Tawna
Tawna and my cousin Tony – these two are so dear to me! Part of my earth angels here in Idaho

Today I was awakened by a call from my Aunt to wish me a Merry Christmas which was so sweet. I was in bed late as I woke up at around 3 am and had trouble going back to sleep. I had one of my shadow people dreams that scared me awake. I got up and Link and I went over to my Aunt and Uncles house for Christmas dinner. They had the table set with nice plates and the turkey was already cooked. They did the bag kind and it was perfect – so moist and tender! They made a bunch of dressing which is my favorite side dish. We had mashed potatoes and some salad. Everything was so good! We watched the squirrels and birds they feed at the feeder they have. So cute and entertaining! After dinner there were a couple gifts to include a new baby for Link. Ruth got him to tear the paper off which surprised and delighted me! He’s never done that before. He hid it somewhere we couldn’t find. He does that with his favorite toys. My Aunt is one of his favorite people! Then we watched a holiday edition of Sister Boniface which is one of our favorite shows we watch when I go over to their house. I didn’t have room for dessert so they sent me home with leftovers and pie. What a special day!

Uncle John and Aunt Ruth more earth angels

As I reflect on this holiday I find myself feeling so grateful and blessed! So many special memories have been made with my family here. They help chase the Grinch I can be away this time of year!

My creativity these days is this blog. Writing is my only real outlet these past couple of years.

This passage is very fitting for how my family is: and is teaching me to be:

1 Corinthians 13New International Version

13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poorand give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b]but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies,they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.But the greatest of these is love.