Tag: relationships

18 October 2021

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Food, Home, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there how are you? It’s a gray and overcast Monday as I write to you. There wasn’t light until 8! How is it where you live?

So yesterday I went over to my Aunt and Uncles to help make jalapeño pepper jam. I had never done that before. I was in charge of measuring the sugar and other odd jobs. My two cousins and cousins daughter were there and it was good to see them. I was so in the moment I didn’t get any pictures of the jam! My uncle John was the only man in the outfit!

I didn’t get to stay too long as my bowels were acting up. They made about 4 batches of jam and they used the jalapeños after they were juiced for salsa.

I heard the sad news today that Colin Powell died from complications of Covid-19 and cancer . He was the first black Secretary of State . One of my favorite quotes is from him :

The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.”

For fun: https://youtu.be/rZSaD4QLjxE Breathtaking AI Generated Portraits by Bas Uterwijk

“We stand in this moment a foothold in time. Where do we go from here? Do we reach to the top shelves for the hidden best or do we continue to grimace in pain as we stoop for the obvious? The stream of life flows forward so swiftly with hands still reaching back. Grasping anything to steady us as we lose our footing. What is our identity? Who are our tribes? We think we are standing still but the sand continues to give way. We are but mere little children in this vast cosmos. Time stretching forward and backwards in a snapshot of space. The all seeing eye of time a voyeur to our rise and fall.”

11 October 2021 Living Your Faith

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello. How are you? I got a walk in it was chilly and cold. I’m not ready for cold weather again so soon. It seems like just yesterday the trees across the street were blooming!! Sadly I’m not in charge of the earths thermostat !

This morning on the walk I asked what I should write about and the topic that came forth is a hard one . It was about living your faith in your day to day life. Faith isn’t just in sacred text, holy days and churches, temples and synagogues. It’s every day. Sometimes it’s confusing. I have a lot of trouble with the conflicting guidance you get from the Old and New testament . I prefer the messages in the New Testament :

Matthew 5:43-48New International Version

Love for Enemies

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[a](A) and hate your enemy.’(B) 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,(C) 45 that you may be children(D) of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.(E) 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?(F) Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.(G)

It’s easy to love those who love you back and are lovable. It’s easy to pray for your friends and family. Right now I’m having a situation where I’m being challenged to be able to care about someone but not be hurt by caring. I have to keep my distance or risk my own mental health and well being.

How do you live your faith and still stay mentally sound? Something that I’ve done and has been done to me is letting someone go with love. You wish a person a well and happy life but because of irreconcilable differences you can’t be part of each other’s lives. You don’t stop loving and caring for a person but you don’t tolerate their oftentimes negative activity in your life.

It is hard to practice your own advice sometimes especially when your a softy like I am ! It’s easy to take the path of least resistance but end up being a doormat as a result . Thankfully I have a strong support system that is trying to keep me from being that. They don’t want to see me be anybody’s emotional punching bag!

The question remains how do you live your faith in your daily life and still remain intact ? How do all the walks of faith on earth keep it together when it feels like this world is falling apart ? How do you not go crazy trying to live up to ancient doctrine in a world that seems so contrary to most of it ? It feels like we are divided tribes at war for the same sacred spaces . So many questions and so many conflicting answers .

I am still on my quest of faith. I’m one of those that hasn’t quite settled on a path. What does it mean for me to live my faith then? What is my faith? I’m sure The God of my understanding is at work in my life. I just have to remain open minded and willing to proceed. Like I learned in AA just keep doing the next right thing.

10 October 2021 Small Town

by saymber, posted in Home, In the News, Money, Writing and blogging

Hello again. This post will kind of tie in to my previous. I am having one of those days where I just need to write !

So I live in a small town in Idaho named Middleton. It’s near Nampa and Caldwell. We are going through a housing boom in this area. All around the existing “old town” people are building really expensive houses. We have one grocery store called Ridleys that all these new residents go to and I’ve noticed shortages especially of drinking water. Most people I know don’t drink water from the tap. They either have some kind of filtration system or they drink bottled water.

I never thought I would live in a world where you would have to pay twice for water . Pay the city so you can flush your toilet and pay the grocery store so you have water to drink. Drinking water is more precious than oil!

I moved to this town for a reason. One of the biggest is finding a house I could afford that wasn’t a complete dump. I considered renting an apartment but couldn’t afford it. For under $200,000 the only properties that were listed were the type flippers dream about . In some cases you would have to level the house to the ground and start over! The tiny house I found, a mere 734 sq ft, was a manufactured home which is hard to get a loan for but was still in my price range at $190,000. A lot of prayers were answered with my finding of the house!

So I live here now what! I haven’t figured out a way to connect with people here yet. The only people I know here in this state are my family. They all work or are busy with their own lives. I have considered starting a Meetup group but am not sure I want to swallow the $69 startup fee! Most Meetup groups are in the larger cities. I don’t want to have to drive all the way to Boise. I have nice neighbors but they mostly keep to themselves or each other. I’m the odd woman out – no husband and no kids.

There has to be a reason beyond this house for me being here. I just don’t know what it is yet. Something I really enjoyed doing for a time was helping people heal. May be once I’m completely back on my feet God will have a plan about that. May be part of my being here is to heal and get strong again. This small town might just be the refuge God wants for me right now .

23 September 2021 Peaceful

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! How are you today? I’m doing alright . I had this blog all finished a few minutes ago but I decided to discard it. I don’t know why I guess it just wasn’t what I wanted to post!

Wtf? Why did you delete it ?!

I wanted to talk about a feeling I got last night . For the first time in a long time I felt peace and contentment . I went to sleep and woke up with that feeling and it was so awesome . No emotional or physical pain! True peace . I wonder if it was spending time with my friend yesterday . We went to Red Robin for burgers and had a really nice visit. I got lots of hugs !

Oh to still the churning waters of my soul, to calm the anxiety stained winds that always seem to blow. A simple gesture of the warm embrace, to stop time and put a smile on my face. A remedy as old as can be, someone lovingly holding on to me .

I don’t know if there is a perfect formula for peace. If there was we would have a whole lot fewer doctors and pill bottles . I know part of my peace comes from God through other people . A simple thing like a hug means so much to me . I think there is a lot of power having two hearts close together .

4 September 2021 Arrival

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello there ! How are you doing today ? I’m doing pretty good . I’m writing later today because I spent some time with my aunt and uncle this morning! We had blueberry pancakes ! They had gone to watch the balloons go up at 5 am and there was news that a new member of our family had arrived – Cove 8 lbs 1 oz! Baby girl !

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone was welcomed to this world with so much joy ?! If everyone who felt estranged from their family and friends found out everyone was so pleased that they had arrived. This is the promise of new life —- hope! It’s kind of like finding out that someone was praying for you and you didn’t know it . Being loved and cared about even if you don’t directly see it . We are never entirely alone . When we get here there are so many souls, many we don’t directly know, praising our arrival . Welcome Cove!

Doodle for today welcoming Cove and balloons that took to the sky today

2 September 2021 Appreciation

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Writing and blogging

Hello to you ! How are you doing today ? I hope your doing well . It’s another beautiful day here. I wish the skies would clear up but we will take what we can get .

This morning my mind turns towards thinking about appreciation. It’s so easy to take a person, place and or thing for granted. We can live life just expecting they will always be there and we are learning on many levels that is is a mistake. There is one thing that is certain about existence and that is change! Impermanence is the name of the game of life .

It’s important to show appreciation, to express gratitude while there is still yet time to do it . It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture either! Sometimes it’s just saying the words is all someone is waiting to hear .

1 September 2021 Connections

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Mental Health, trust, Writing and blogging

Hello there ! How are you as you visit me here ? I hope we’ll. I’m working through my morning “stuff” and going through my routine . I hope someday mornings will be less of a struggle for me !

This morning my mind turns towards the concept of connections . It’s a part of living in today’s world. Right now I don’t have very many connections . I have lived here now over a year. I lived in Texas for about 12 years and in all that time made very few connections. I had one friend that I could count on. Is it me ?!!

I am great at the “meet and greet” but as far as maintaining long lasting relationships I’m not that great . The thing with me is once I love you , no matter how long it is since I last saw you and or we have communicated, we just pick up like we’ve never been apart.

Today’s doodle

30 July 2021 Forgiveness

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! How are you today? It’s really hot here today. I’m about ready for summer to be over! I’m sure I’m not alone with that sentiment.

Well yesterday was a day of sudden changes and today is about forgiveness. Sometimes people do things that they regret. I had to pray a lot about this…. Let God. I could have chosen to shut the door on this person but I don’t think that’s what God wanted me to do . I cannot ignore the red flags and warnings but something tells me these are growing pains. The person in question has been through a lot of troubles too and made mistakes. I have been through a lot too, made mistakes . What if everyone had shut the door on me ? I try to keep that in mind when I am dealing with these sorts of things.

25 September 2020 Different frequencies (relationships)

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello again, it’s Friday here as I write to you.  I can’t believe how fast the weeks and days go by now.  For awhile there it was like time was standing still but now it is definitely not.

I was stumped for a topic again and a friend suggested talking about dating and relationships with people on a different frequencies.  A few years ago I took a Quantum Touch class which deals with energy healing.  Part of the training was about the concepts of resonance and entrainment.  We were taught techniques to increase our energy level before helping someone.  The person we were working with would either rise to our energy level or there was the potential, if we weren’t vigilant, to become entrained into the lower energy levels of who we were working with.

https://www.quantumtouch.com/en/about-quantum-touch/how-does-qt-work

So as far as relationships go, we all operate at different frequencies.  Some people operate on a very high frequency.  You know the kind of people that walk into a room and light the place up.  The other people in the room will either rise to the higher energy vibration or they will distance themselves.  I think it’s important in relationships that there is a balance where one person isn’t dictating where the energy level is going to be all the time.  A give and take, a balance.  This goes for all relationships not just a spouse and or significant other.

An image that just came to mind was of two magnets.  The are either strongly attracted and will slap together or strongly repel from each other.  In the latter case, you will be able to feel the magnetic field resisting the two sides joining.   There s nothing you can do to make them stay together except may be connect them somehow.  To think of forcing a magnet together is kind of like forcing a failed marriage to work I think.

“entrainment” in the English Ordinal system equals 133

“resonance” in the English Ordinal system equals 94

“opposites attract ” in the English Ordinal system equals 217 (I thought it was interesting the same numbers for completely different words came up)

“magnetic fields” in the English Ordinal system equals 127

 

15 September 2020 Closing Together

by saymber, posted in Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Uncategorized, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you it’s morning yet here as I write.  As I look out my bedroom window, it is ashen gray and the sun is trying to shine.   It’s been like this for days now.  The air quality alert is red so I don’t plan on being outside much today.

Today is the official closing date on us selling our house.  Yesterday they sent out a mobile notary.  I was grateful they did that so I could sign the documents and get them back to Texas today for my husband to sign.  It was all bittersweet.  I am even having trouble writing about it right now.   I wish we had been able to do the closing together but that’s the past.

Like the ending of our marriage, this is anti-climactic and is just happening .  Our marriage happened,  We bought a house and lived in it for 12 years.  We made lots of memories together and I don’t want to just act like nothing happened.  All this said, to keep myself from losing my shit inside, I have to in a way act like nothing is happening.  A part of me wonders if this is what my husband has had to do too so he doesn’t lose it.

“closing” in the English Ordinal system equals 79 (all vices in check in a no cycle)

“together” in the English Ordinal system equals 98 (no cycle for eternity and or racetrack of life)

I have to believe that all of this has been happening for a reason and everything is going be ok for both of us.