17 July 2023 Absolute Certains

July 17, 2023July 17, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

List 10 things you know to be absolutely certain.

Here are 10 things I know to be absolutely certain: (Zentrans is source of this list and I agree with it!)

1. **The world exists.** I may not know everything about the world, but I am certain that it exists. I can see it, touch it, and feel it. I can also interact with it in a meaningful way.
2. **I exist.** I may not know everything about myself, but I am certain that I exist. I can think, feel, and experience the world. I am also capable of making choices and taking actions.
3. **Change is inevitable.** Nothing stays the same forever. The world is constantly changing, and so am I. This can be a source of both challenge and opportunity.
4. **The future is uncertain.** I cannot know for sure what will happen in the future. However, I can make choices that will help me shape my future.
5. **There is no such thing as a perfect person.** Everyone makes mistakes. We all have flaws and weaknesses. However, we can also learn from our mistakes and grow as individuals.
6. **Love is real.** Love is a powerful emotion that can bring great joy and happiness. It can also be a source of strength and support during difficult times.
7. **Kindness matters.** Small acts of kindness can have a big impact on others. They can make someone’s day or even change their life.
8. **Gratitude is essential.** Taking the time to appreciate the good things in our lives can help us to be happier and more content.
9. **Helping others is rewarding.** There is something special about helping others. It can make us feel good and connect us with our community.
10. **Life is a gift.** We should cherish every moment and make the most of our lives.

I came across Zentrans answers to todays prompt and I felt it was awesome! So true and I couldn’t come up with a better list on my own. The only thing I would add is God exists.

Revelation 1:8New International Version

⁸“I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come,the Almighty.”

16 July 2023 Security or Adventure

July 16, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Are you seeking security or adventure?

Hello to you. Just back from church – it was good as always. Got to see and talk to the sweet people there. We discussed psalm 34 and “Mr E.” gave a great testimony about his path to following Jesus. He had his Bible with him when he first got saved – inside he wrote the name and date and signed his name and this was back when he was six years old! It’s really neat to hear what happens to people when they make a path within themselves for God to use them. I have had fleeting glimpses of this in my own life. Those experiences of being in the right place at the right time like a mission from God. I am currently hoping for an opportunity for God to use me- just need to get the physical stuff that limits me out of my way! May be having physical limitations is a way for there to be balance and not overwhelming myself. Only God knows! My many thanks for your continued prayers and support!

Something nice happened too after service my friend Mark gave me a bag of cherries from their tree! They taste really good! He notices when I’m not there and kind of helps me stay accountable.

A thoughtful gift through fellowship and natures bounty – cherries

Todays prompt makes me think of my life this far. I think I have chosen security over adventure as I’ve gotten older. When I was young and had all the world in front of me I think I took more chances – sought out adventure because nothing was really stopping me. I was healthy physically up until when my mental health issues really started mushrooming and that was in my late twenties and early thirties. My forties and up until now have been clouded by the struggle of achieving balance – safety and security versus adventure. There is a part of me that kind of thirsts for adventure but I hold myself back – a lot of times it’s because I don’t want to leave Link. He has become an anchor of what home and security is. When I come home from being gone – seeing him reach up and scratching on the window in excitement makes me feel so loved. Somebody cares that I have returned!

Deuteronomy 4:29New International Version

²⁹But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.

14 July 2023 Getting Better With Age

July 14, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What do you think gets better with age?

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. In a bit I’m going to a psychiatrist appointment with the VA. I’m blessed that my friend Tawna will be going with me. I have to talk to them about the increase in vertigo and feeling more off balance since I started taking a new medication called Abilify. When I turn over in bed or get up from laying down or put my head back to drink I feel off balance. The room moves but I’m standing still. Ugh! When I looked at best medication for bipolar 1 last night and the drugs I’m taking were listed but all had similar side effects – dizziness was a common one. Lithium, a drug I was on before, was listed as one of the best but I don’t think they want me on that again. I would appreciate your prayers about all this!

Todays prompt seems obvious to me – people and animals mostly get better with age but that depends on their health. If you have poor health or have been rough on your body for your early years aging can be really rough. The other things that age well are cheese and wine!

Isaiah 46:4New International Version

⁴Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

13 July 2023 Bedtime

July 13, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What time do you go to bed and wake up currently?

Hello to you. I’m just back from Grace House where we have a prayer meeting each Thursday at 9:30 am. Today it was Lois, Brie and me. We are hoping that may be this fall our group will grow some. I walked over and back. My lower back wasn’t happy but the prayers helped. I have been having some vertigo/swaying spells the past couple of days. I hope this isn’t a side effect of the new medication I’m on! We prayed for my Aunt and Dad too. Just found out my Aunt is having shoulder surgery later this month.

So bedtime and getting up are something I’ve been having to work on. I try to start going to bed at 9 pm and I usually wake up around 8-9 am. It takes me a long time to fall asleep and I don’t like getting out of bed right away. I think the reason I have trouble falling asleep has to do with being on screens before bed time. Last night I didn’t have anything on after lights out and I don’t remember falling asleep! Just takes good practice and consistency I think.

Today was good because I needed to be up early to go to the prayer meeting. It’s good to have a reason to get up and have something to look forward to.

Psalm 4:8New International Version

⁸In peace I will lie down and sleep,
for you alone, Lord,
make me dwell in safety.

12 July 2023 Comfort

July 12, 2023July 12, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion

What strategies do you use to increase comfort in your daily life?

When I think of comfort I think of relief from anxiety. When I experience discomfort it’s usually because of anxiety. Anxiety is a very uncomfortable thing for me physically. I take medication, I exercise, I eat certain foods – sometimes not so good for me, I talk to people, I write, I listen to anxiety talk – down audios on You tube, I talk to God in prayer and just a regular conversation.

2 Corinthians 1:3-7New International Version

Praise to the God of All Comfort

³Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. ⁵For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. ⁶If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. ⁷And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

5 July 2023 Expressing Gratitude

July 5, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

How do you express your gratitude?

Hello there. We survived another 4th of July! The people firing off fireworks last night weren’t as intense as last year. I’m thankful for that! I just had a walk around the block and no loose dogs or cats which is a blessing. We had a wonderful visit with my Aunt, Uncle, cousin and his wife yesterday. Lots of good food – huge hot dogs! They brought the bike over but I couldn’t ride it without feeling like it was going to tip over. My balance just wasn’t there! So we are leaving the bike with them. So another “can’t” on the books. I’m not sure if it’s just because it had three wheels or just me not being able to balance. Everybody else was able to ride it. When they had a two wheel bike I had no problem riding it but that was before I had the swaying issues in my head.

Todays prompt makes me think of my family and friends. So much to be thankful for and the way I have expressed my gratitude has mostly been words these past couple of years. When I was a child, my Mom taught me to write thank you notes when I received gifts for birthdays and Christmas. I haven’t written a thank you note in a long time! Ever since this whatever I’ve got going on in my head, writing with a pen and paper has become more difficult. I’m thankful I can still type and text!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

2 July 2023 Surgery (ever had one)

July 2, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Health, history, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Have you ever had surgery? What for?

Hello to you. I’m just back from church and groceries. The message today came from Thessalonians in regards to the return of Christ. Pastor Daniel from the Nampa campus gave the message. It was good to see familiar faces and get caught up on things. Dear Penny lost her Dad recently and she shared her peace about that. The grocery trip was kind of disappointing. I wanted to get some Tillamook ice cream to take over to Ruth’s on the 4th but they didn’t have vanilla and the freezer was failing – a lot of the ice cream was melted. I picked up some Dreyers that wasn’t too melted! Hope it will be ok!

Todays prompt takes me back to the two surgeries I had to remove fibroid cysts. The first surgery removed a cyst the size of a 5 month embryo and second surgery, in August of 2005, when I had my hysterectomy to remove fibroid cysts and all my baby making parts. It was a life changing decision we made to have the hysterectomy. I remember just before being put under anesthesia for the second surgery the technician asking me if this is what I wanted to do. It rained that day as Kyle waited for me to get in and out of surgery. I remember it was hard to wake up from the anesthesia for both surgeries.

I never had children and having the 2nd surgery shut the door on that. It was for my best. From time to time I wonder what my life would have been if we had tried for a child either in my first or second marriage but it passes. Looking back at the wreckage of my being Bipolar, it really would have been rough trying to raise a healthy child. A large part of my dog Links early life was me in the hospital. It would have been worse if he had been a human child.

1 July 2023 Keeping Life Fresh

July 1, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. It’s 89 degrees here as I write to you. I was going to sit outside and write but it’s too hot!

My thoughts today turn to thinking about keeping life fresh. Lately my life has been feeling like Ground Hog Day. Very little deviation from routine. Sometimes I will be ready to do my daily sit ups and wonder if I already did them! Inside of me I am wanting more but my body is resisting. What keeps happening is I get this fullness in my ears and I will feel anxious and hypersensitive to my body. The Mal de Barque stuff. My lower back has not been my friend either. I try to walk and I feel like a weeble wobble huffing and puffing almost the whole walk in pain. The only thing that seems to help the hypersensitivity is taking the olanzapine right now. I will be starting to do the taper off of it starting tomorrow. My doctor wants to taper me off of it because it’s notorious, along with the Depakote, for causing weight gain. We are going to try Abilify (aripiprazole) instead of Olanzapine – I hope it works as well for anxiety, weight gain and hypersensitivity.

I try to stay in the understanding that I am blessed to have the life I have even with it’s short comings! As I keep saying it’s not what I can’t do but what I can. Hopefully with the medicine change I will feel stronger and like I can do more to keep my life fresh.

I love seeing roses ready to bloom – especially the two tone ones

Psalm 147:3-5New International Version

³He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
⁴He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.
⁵Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.

30 June 2023 Brains Ok

June 30, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you doing? It’s Friday again – this week went fast.

Yesterday I went with my cousin to an appointment with a neurologist. They didn’t find anything of concern – brains ok! Very short visit. Kind of felt like a waste of time but at least it was good news. The doctor was much more cheerful than the first time we met. Whatever is going on in my head and ears appears to be something non-detectable by standard tests. He said he thinks whatever is going on may be connected to the medication I’m on. I’ve been on Depakote before and didn’t have the side effects I’m experiencing. I think it’s Mal de barque and I’m just going to have to live with it.

What was good about going is I got some quality time with my cousin Laura – that wasn’t a waste of time! We had a nice lunch at Chik-Filet. During our visit she was trying to help me figure out things I can do to get me out of the house more or have something meaningful to do. Both her and my Aunt do that. This is helpful for me as sometimes it’s hard to get out of my own way. The limitations holding me back are mostly physical, not wanting to drive and especially not wanting to leave Link for long periods of time. She had a lot of ideas for me to think about! She encouraged me to think of things I can do not what I can’t. I am hoping with the medication change I will be starting that I won’t be tired so much and will have more stamina – hopefully will lose some weight!

These cheerful painted rocks were out front of the hospital

Psalm 30:2New International Version

²Lord my God, I called to you for help,
and you healed me.

28 June 2023 Overcoming Darkness

June 28, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you? I just had a good talk with my Aunt. She was concerned about what I wrote about yesterday regarding spirituality. She felt it was a little dark and that we need to be moving on from those memories. I reassured her the best I could. I had to remind her that in addition to writing for me I’m writing to help others like me or the family and friends of those like me. By sharing my experience, strength and hope I am hopefully helping someone else who might be going through similar circumstances and have no place to turn to.

What I learned through AA is the more we share our stories of recovery the less it hurts and the more people we help. Each day someone is diagnosed with Bipolar and it can be devastating and overwhelming. I still don’t completely understand it and I’ve been living with it for many years now. I just know Mania and crippling anxiety is what we want to prevent from happening! The Mal de Barque syndrome is also going on too and there is no cure for it or even real tests that can definitely identify it.

My family and friends, my church all encourage me to lean not on my understanding but to lean on God through all of this. I’m trying! I want to make it clear that I’m not seeking sympathy or attention by sharing. I am sharing to help understanding about a condition that doesn’t make sense! There are people who think mental illnesses are something you can just get over and it’s like diabetes or heart disease – you just can’t see it by looking at a person but it’s very real and needs special treatment with both medication and therapy. It’s an inside job until the bad stuff happens and can be seen in behavior!

My Aunt directed me to a great passage in the Bible that she wants to memorize:

Philippians 4:8
New International Version
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.