Category: Home

2 Dec 2025 Pushing On

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, history, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there, how are you as you visit me here? Today was long and kind of lonely but we have pushed through it. To be honest I have been missing having someone to come home to me. Link has me to look forward to coming home. I think of him as home as he rises up on his back legs and frantically taps at the front door waiting for me to come in. I miss my ex everyday but I know that ship has sailed. We were communicating a little bit but if I don’t initiate the communication there is nothing from him. He has moved on and I always hope he’s happier now.

The rest of this post is me reflecting on where I’ve been and where I hope to go:

I miss having a husband but don’t like what you have to go through to get one these days. I tried Tinder and that was a cluster you know what. I ended up with someone who wasn’t good for me and wanted more from me than I could give at the time. I just wasn’t attracted to him and that made him nuts. My taste is what I had in my ex and I totally blew it with my manic episodes! He just got fed up with the person I became when I was in untreated mania.

I always said that if I couldn’t make it work with Kyle I wasn’t going to make it with anyone. He wasn’t a perfect husband but pretty darn wonderful and I blew it. Some say he shouldn’t have divorced me but they don’t understand the spiral that happens with mania. When we were first together he knew I had mental health issues but I was being treated and was on meds that kept the mania at bay. When mania happened the last couple of times I was really doing things that hurt and or upset him. We were breaking things. He got physical with me a couple of times out of extreme frustration and it was after that he went to stay with his parents. When he could see I wasn’t going to get the help I needed he decided a divorce was the only answer. I didn’t take that decision very well! I felt so lost and alone. My everyday was like living in a haunted house. Memories of Kyle were everywhere I went from the house to the neighborhood. I wasn’t plugged in to Jesus yet but thankfully had people who were to talk to. I thank God for my Idaho family who were there for me – praying for me. They are the reason I am where I am today! Jesus used each of them to help me escape the nightmare I was in.

It took me awhile, even after I was out of Texas, to fully recover from the nightmare I was living. My Aunt Ruth and Uncle John handled me with tender care the 6 months I lived with them. I didn’t want to shower with the door shut. I didn’t want to eat meals at the table. I didn’t want to watch television. I walked constantly to combat my anxiety. I had nightmares. I saw versions of Kyle everywhere I went. Everything was a trigger to my thinking of Kyle. We had been married 12 years and I was married 16 years in my first marriage. I had grief and remorse over my first marriage too! Kyle and I committed adultery and I really felt bad about that as did Kyle. I just unraveled after he left me and felt this pulling sensation in the back of my body all the time. It was like the enemy had a hold on me and didn’t want to let go.

It’s been over 5 years now that I’ve been here in Idaho. I am much better than I was. It’s been about 2 years since I decided to accept Jesus as my savior. I finally made the choice that God had been patiently waiting for me to make. With this choice and my saying yes some doors have opened. I have gotten more involved with my church and that has made me some friends. I even got baptized which I didn’t think I would do. Now if he would only heal me from what’s going on in my head and lower back I could be of more use – a better vessel for the Holy Spirit. These conditions have prevented me from volunteering as much as I could be.

The other thing missing is a companion to share the rest of my life with. I have kind of resigned myself to my ending up being alone the rest of my life but I don’t know Gods plans for me about this. If I do fall in love again I want him to share in my love of Jesus and of course Link must approve of whoever he ends up being!

Thank you for reading!

Dear Jesus I pray for this world as fallen as it is that more of the lost will find their way to you. I pray for the poor, sick, mentally and physically in decline. I pray for all leaders in positions of power and influence that your will be done through their words and deeds. I pray for an end to all animal cruelty. I pray for an end to all wars that there would be peace. I pray for all children especially those being abused and or neglected. I pray for the children suffering in war ravaged parts of the world. Thank you. Amen.

27 Nov 2025 Giving Thanks

by saymber, posted in Food, history, Home, Movies, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you. I am writing to you after a wonderful day with family for Thanksgiving. I joined my cousin and his wife at her Mom and Stepdads place in beautiful hilly Emmett ID. My cousin Tony came and picked me up and we had a nice drive. Tawna put together a wonderful meal and I got to finally meet her parents for the first time since I’ve lived here. We had turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberries, sweet potatoes rolls with butter and broccoli. I also got to meet their two dogs Dolly and Nora and they are definitely her mom’s fur babies! There was also a dove who had recently lost her mate. I felt bad for her. Tawna’s Mom is so sweet! She loved getting hugs from all of us. She’s a great hugger! I felt so welcome and like I already knew her before we met. Everywhere in the house were Bibles and Bible verses. One sign she had in the kitchen I liked was “Jesus is my healer”

Tawna had us each say what we were grateful for which I really liked. You can tell how much Alice and her husband Al love Jesus. She has a lot of scripture committed to memory. After we let our stomachs settle a bit, cleaned up and looked at some old pictures there was lemon merengue and pumpkin pie with a cup of coffee for dessert. Yummy! What a wonderful day!

Something really sweet happened while we were cleaning up. I heard whistling and thought it was Tawna as she whistles a-lot when she is in the kitchen but no it was her Mom Alice! Alice said whistling helps with whatever she’s doing go much easier. I loved seeing where my sweet friend Tawna gets her sweet nature and unwavering faith from.

https://youtu.be/FdbIPTSx520?si=2caiHQqGaahOTVIb – Ten Commandments free with ads

Last night I watched The Ten Commandments starring Charleton Heston free with ads on YouTube. I can remember watching it when I was in grade school. After I saw it I have a memory of imagining myself to be Moses when I was doing road guard duty. The winds were violently blowing me around and I can remember stretching out my arms and trying to command the winds to stop! I didn’t have a staff and don’t remember if I was successful or not!

Remembered Dad today and our big Schmidt family gatherings on Thanksgiving – tomorrow we would have decorated the Christmas tree and went early to JcPenny for their Mickey Mouse snow globes

21 Nov 2025 2 Corinthians 4:16-17

by saymber, posted in history, Home, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you. Just back from a walk – it’s chilly out but not enough to wear a coat.

2 Corinthians 4:16-17
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.

20 Oct 2025 Women’s Coffee

by saymber, posted in Home, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you. Hope your day is going well. I was late but right on time to the Woman’s Coffee today at Grace House. I wasn’t going to go but God wouldn’t let me rest about it. Missy always makes me feel so welcome as do the other ladies. Sometimes you just need to be with other women! We talked about being a Mary or a Martha in our lives. We talked about things you try to help a teenager who has a lot of questions about God. I felt just by her sharing and the feedback we gave her God was at work to help her. We prayed for dear Charlottes sick dog Annie. Charlotte left us in tears as she had to take Annie to the vet. I’m glad I went! I usually am it’s just the going! I didn’t sleep very well last night – that’s why I didn’t want to get up and go. I always feel bad for Link because he always gets disturbed with my tossing and turning.

Isaiah 41:10New International Version

10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

19 Oct 2025 Myths

by saymber, posted in Home, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I’m just home from spending some time with my Aunt and Uncle. We had leftover spaghetti and watched a couple episodes of The Good Ship Murder on Brit box. I like it when they invite me over! Sundays can be lonesome. Link is always so happy to see Ruth and John. They have grass and carpet which he loves rolling around on.

I went to church this morning (I almost didn’t go because I didn’t sleep well) and today we were in Philippians:

Philippians 1:18-26New International Version

18 But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.

Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 19 for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.[a] 20 I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22 If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23 I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24 but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, 26 so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me.

Pastor Jason talked about some myths there are in being a Christian. The first myth is you have to know everything. You don’t! Share what Jesus has done for you. The second myth is you have to be a good speaker and communicator. It’s not what we say it’s what we do that matters. The third myth is that we have to be outgoing to share our belief in Jesus. Just giving our personal testimony to even just one person is good!

12 Oct 2025 Relationship

by saymber, posted in Home, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I hope you had a nice weekend. It’s hard to believe it’s Sunday afternoon already. The weeks sure fly by don’t they?! I am home from having dinner and a new episode of Sister Boniface with my Aunt Ruth and Uncle John. The episode dissuaded our fears about the show ending! I enjoy having Sundays with them!

As I write to you today I am thinking about relationship with Jesus. It’s more than just going to church on Sundays – it’s having an intimate relationship with Jesus. An everyday sort of thing. I talk to him throughout my day. It is through him that I have the strength to push through my toughest times. He usually works through those around me. If I have a question or concern the answers often quickly present themselves. Usually those answers come through people I know and love.

I see a lot of people who think they can make it all on their own but ultimately they don’t. I have been such a person! When things hit the rock bottom these same people cry out for help – usually divine help in nature. A ultimate surrender to a power greater than themselves. Jesus is always waiting for those pleas and willing to help. We just have to ask!

Today we were in Philippians 1:12-19:

Philippians 1:12-19New International Version

Paul’s Chains Advance the Gospel

12 Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters,[a] that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. 13 As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard[b] and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. 14 And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.

15 It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. 16 The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. 17 The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. 18 But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.

Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 19 for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.[c]

27 Sept 2025 Red Tree

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging
Fall signs are here!

Hello to you! It’s another beautiful fall day. The tree across the street has turned a beautiful flaming red. I wanted to share it with you. Tomorrow I get baptized and I’m both looking forward to it and nervous at the same time! I’m making a big statement about my faith doing this. Thankfully some of my family will be there. The day also is special because my cousin Heidi will be turning 60! She is such a beautiful lady inside and out. She doesn’t look her age at all.

Daniel 4:11-12New International Version

11 The tree grew large and strong and its top touched the sky; it was visible to the ends of the earth. 12 Its leaves were beautiful, its fruit abundant, and on it was food for all. Under it the wild animals found shelter, and the birds lived in its branches;from it every creature was fed.

20 Sept 2025 Fall Is Coming

by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Bipolar life, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there. How are you? I’m just back from my evening walk – just one time around the big block today. My back continues to be a nuisance so I have to be careful. I have been feeling something in the air lately – fall is coming. There is an anticipation in the trees and the rest of nature. I love how cozy fall can make life seem. The warmer clothes come out. Hot cocoa with marshmallows gets made. A fire gets lit in the fireplace. Candles get lit. The days get shorter. All of these and more rituals of fall are coming. Do you like fall? The only thing I don’t like is having to take up leaves!

It’s easier to think about changing seasons than it is about what is happening to our world right now. I pray for our country and this world every day. I pray for our leadership at all levels as they are being challenged so greatly. I pray for our fire fighters, police and first responders. The world is a very dangerous place for them. I pray for the men, women and children trying to survive in war torn regions of this world. I pray for the poor, sick and homeless. I pray for all neglected and abused animals. Jesus we lift up this broken world to you – there are some things we cannot fix without your divine intervention. Have mercy on us – please hear our prayers!

Oh and I wanted to mention there have been a couple recent blips on the radar with regards to UAPs:

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp-video/mmvo247250501553

12 Sept 2025 Turning To God

by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Bipolar life, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. As I write to you tonight, I have a heavy heart. With the recent murders of Charlie Kirk and Iryna Zarutska and so many others that don’t make the headlines, it’s just a really sad time for America. It feels like every day we are being fed negative news. We can’t catch our collective breath! What I’m having to do is turn to God and pray for our country…for this world. I want to use my words here to lift up the spirits of those who intentionally or unintentionally visit my blog.

I would ask you reader what are you grateful for today? I am grateful for the savior who unconditionally loves me. When everything is dark there is light in Jesus and giving thanks. What we focus on the most gains the most power. I want to focus my personal power on the good in this world even though that is so hard to do right now.

My prayer for today:

Dear Jesus the people of this world need to know you now more than ever. I pray that those who are casting about and are lost will be lead to your loving and merciful light. I pray for the truth of what you taught us how to love one another, your creations and you would take center stage. I pray especially for the children that are the innocent in the affairs of adults. They should be able to go to churches and schools free from fear. I also pray for all animals that you would intercede for those being needlessly abused and neglected. Thank you holy father!

Mark 10:13-16New International Version

The Little Children and Jesus

13 People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16 And he took the children in his arms,placed his hands on them and blessed them.

11 Sept 2025 Never Forget

by saymber, posted in Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. Today is the 24th year anniversary of 9/11/01 and I still can remember how surreal that day was. I was stationed at Peterson AFB in Colorado Springs and we were in the middle of a base exercise. I was sleeping when I got a call alerting me to what had happened. I turned on the tv and couldn’t believe what I was seeing! It looked like something from a movie not real life. When I went into work we kept the lights low and I can remember how shocked everybody was. It was like the world had ended! We huddled around eachother, cried and talked in hushed tones. Security was increased and we took turns on 12 hour shifts guarding our buildings. I can remember relearning how to knit during my shifts and making a blue blanket. Do you remember where you were?

I think, like many people did, that such a disaster would pull people together. For a time it did but gradually things went back to “normal.” It’s a little like what happened with Covid in 2020 – our country is still reeling in so many ways from that. The normal we seek has many people my age longing for the 80’s! The time before all the technology of today. Simpler and happier times.

The story of the Tower of Babel makes me think of 9/11:

Genesis 11:1-8New International Version

The Tower of Babel

11 Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. 2 As people moved eastward,[a] they found a plain in Shinar[b] and settled there.

3 They said to each other, “Come, let’s make bricksand bake them thoroughly.” They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. 4 Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.”

5 But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building. 6 The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. 7 Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.”

8 So the Lord scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city. 9 That is why it was called Babel[c]—because there the Lordconfused the language of the whole world. From there the Lord scattered them over the face of the whole earth.