Hello to you. It’s late as I write to you. I can’t sleep so figured I would write to you. How was your day? My day was long but uneventful. I got Link out on a walk today. He’s been willing to go lately and I like that!
Yesterday was prayer group day but because of fog and icy roads we did a conference call and were still able to pray together. We have a lot to pray about. My prayer request was for my sweet cousin Heidi who is recovering from a burst brain aneurysm. We also prayed for our dear friend Cheryl Hargan who had surgery today – a double breast mastectomy. We also prayed for Pastor Jason’s daughter Harper. We are a growing church so lots of leadership spaces need filling. Our time praying isn’t just about needs but also giving praise. Local police and fire departments are picking up their bibles and more are coming to Christ. In a time of great turmoil in our country and world there is much comfort to be had in following Jesus.
Dear Jesus please be with our leaders at all levels. Please help them navigate this increasingly violent and confusing world. Let your will be done in all these affairs. Please be with all our friends and family going through health and wellness challenges. Please be with the people of Iran and all parts of this world who are in turmoil and chaos right now. I pray you would help those who give sanctuary to animals. . I pray all this in your name. Amen.
Good evening. It’s from bed that I’m writing to you. I want to acknowledge the murder of Renee Nicole Good by ICE agents – this has to stop! I feel really sad about what is happening in our country. I’ll leave it at that!
This murder should not have happened!
I was sick recently so I didn’t feel up to writing. Thankfully it didn’t last long! I had loving family and friend support. I have an appointment next month to try and do something about the pooling sensation in my ears. I hope something can be done.
Today was a day of praise and worship. Even though I was having the pooling sensation in my ears I went to church this morning and a prayer and praise gathering at Grace House this evening. It did my heart good to see my church fam! The service today was about the prodigal son parable Jesus told out of Luke 15: 11-31 niv:
The Parable of the Lost Son
11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.
13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.
25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing.26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’
28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him.29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’
31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”
Dear Jesus I bring before you this broken world and thank you for the good that is within it. People like Renee should not be murdered! I pray for her wife, kids and dog that are left behind without her.
In the midst of tragedies going on all over the world people are gathering together in your name- singing your praise. Let the light, the good outshine the darkness. Let there be healing for those who need it. I have loved ones who are going through trials – please be with them. Wrap your loving arms around them and assure them that everything is going to be ok.
Hello to you. Happy New Year! It’s hard to believe we are in a new year already. The past couple of days I have been having trouble with the pooling sensation in my ears. It makes me feel anxious. Writing helps take my mind off of it.
I was brainstorming with my friend what I should write about today. She suggested memories of when I was growing up in South Dakota. I had mentioned to her about us getting so much snow we tunneled through to our neighbors house! I can remember having snacks with Marie and Wayne to pass the time. We use to get so much snow my parents couldn’t get to work which was rare. The snow was thick and crunchy when you walked on it. I learned how to drive on snow – Datsun 210 with stick shift!
The other place I have got snowed in was base housing at Peterson AFB Colorado. There was so much snow it blocked the door to the house. It went from the roof to the ground! The other places I lived – Germany, Delaware, Texas and now Idaho have all gotten snow several times. We never got snow in Florida. I don’t mind snow except driving in it!
Links paw print in the snow
Dear Jesus I ask for your continued care for our family members and friends right now. Please send your healing love to us. I ask for your wisdom to guide leaders at all levels of government. Please help the people of Washington State and the Philippines with their recovery from natural disasters. Thank you for hearing our prayers.
Hello and good evening. It’s the end of the day as I write to you from here. Today began with a blessing of friendship. My friend Jeannie and I met for breakfast at the Sunrise Cafe here in town. We had a good visit and got caught up on family, church and world affairs. She shared a strange dream she had that I was in. I was the best part of the dream. I wasn’t much help in deciphering it!
Jeannie is one of the only people in my life that I can talk to about political matters. We both are pretty disillusioned about the cluster of a mess Trump has made! The only good thing I can see about what he’s done is people buying less cheap plastic things that end up in the landfills.
I have been recovering from a cold since before Christmas so I stayed away from everyone. My cousins wife showed her friendship and brought me chicken soup, juice and losenges and my Aunt brought some food by on Christmas Day. All I wanted to do was sleep! There has been a super flu going around and even as isolated as I am I still caught some of it! I am not feeling 100% but will stay positive! I am so blessed to have family and friends that are looking out for me.
Mark 9:23New International Version
23 “‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”
Hello to you. It’s early afternoon as I write to you after my therapy session through the VA. I am blessed to have a really good therapist. Today we talked about how my physical symptoms affect my life. She came up with something that resonated with me. She said imagine you are hosting a party and your neighbor Joe shows up. He isn’t the most pleasant smelling or behaving person. He is the uninvited guest that you have to keep tabs on the whole party so he doesn’t ruin it. She likened what’s going on with my head and lower back pain to Joe. If I focus on these things like I would focus on Joe, the party will always be ruined for me. I have to find a way to not let these thorns to my life stop me from living my best life.
Are you struggling with some kind of physical and or mental condition that won’t go away? What will you do with your Joe?! As for me, I’m seriously considering whether Joe ever gets invited in the first place! 😂
Oh how I wish Jesus would heal me and all those I do and do not know! It must have been amazing to be healed by him:
Matthew 4:23New International Version
Jesus Heals the Sick
23 Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people.
Drawing I did of my birth mom Jeannie many years ago
Hello to you. I’m back from appointment with the VA. Apparently every 6 months or so they are supposed to make sure I’m not having adverse physical effects from one of the medications I’m taking – Olanzapine. Everything checked out good. Apparently if you have adverse effects you can have involuntary body movements that make you look like you have Parkinson’s Disease! It’s called Tardive Dyskinesia: Uncontrolled or unusual muscle movements, especially of the face, tongue, arms, or legs. This can be permanent in some cases.
Sorting gifts
This morning I went to the ladies coffee at Grace House. We helped sort and label Christmas gifts for a few families. When I went I didn’t know that’s what we were doing. My back wasn’t happy but I was still able to help. I can’t imagine doing all that alone but the past couple of years that’s kind of what happened! It felt good to help even if it was just a little. We have such wonderful ladies at Grace!
Dear Jesus I pray for this world and all its life. There is so much going on! We need you now more than ever. Please wrap us in your loving arms and bring us all peace and healing.
Hello to you. It’s evening as I write to you. Today was pretty uneventful but I did finally get my butt to the grocery store and Link and I got a big walk (1/2 mile) in today. He’s been willing to go so I take him. I am happy his legs aren’t bothering him right now.
Older picture I have of Link wearing his walking gear
The past couple days I have really had low energy. The thing going on with pressure in my head and ears has been real bad. My back hasn’t been kind either. When that’s all going on I don’t want to do even the most menial of tasks. I am like a water spigot that flows either full blast or barely a dribble! I have seen both an ear and head doctor and neither one found what is causing the stuff in my head and ears. We have prayed about it ever since it started but God hasn’t relieved me of it. This bible verse keeps coming into my mind about what I’m going through and what I need to do:
2 Corinthians 12:9New International Version
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Hello there, how are you as you visit me here? Today was long and kind of lonely but we have pushed through it. To be honest I have been missing having someone to come home to me. Link has me to look forward to coming home. I think of him as home as he rises up on his back legs and frantically taps at the front door waiting for me to come in. I miss my ex everyday but I know that ship has sailed. We were communicating a little bit but if I don’t initiate the communication there is nothing from him. He has moved on and I always hope he’s happier now.
The rest of this post is me reflecting on where I’ve been and where I hope to go:
I miss having a husband but don’t like what you have to go through to get one these days. I tried Tinder and that was a cluster you know what. I ended up with someone who wasn’t good for me and wanted more from me than I could give at the time. I just wasn’t attracted to him and that made him nuts. My taste is what I had in my ex and I totally blew it with my manic episodes! He just got fed up with the person I became when I was in untreated mania.
I always said that if I couldn’t make it work with Kyle I wasn’t going to make it with anyone. He wasn’t a perfect husband but pretty darn wonderful and I blew it. Some say he shouldn’t have divorced me but they don’t understand the spiral that happens with mania. When we were first together he knew I had mental health issues but I was being treated and was on meds that kept the mania at bay. When mania happened the last couple of times I was really doing things that hurt and or upset him. We were breaking things. He got physical with me a couple of times out of extreme frustration and it was after that he went to stay with his parents. When he could see I wasn’t going to get the help I needed he decided a divorce was the only answer. I didn’t take that decision very well! I felt so lost and alone. My everyday was like living in a haunted house. Memories of Kyle were everywhere I went from the house to the neighborhood. I wasn’t plugged in to Jesus yet but thankfully had people who were to talk to. I thank God for my Idaho family who were there for me – praying for me. They are the reason I am where I am today! Jesus used each of them to help me escape the nightmare I was in.
It took me awhile, even after I was out of Texas, to fully recover from the nightmare I was living. My Aunt Ruth and Uncle John handled me with tender care the 6 months I lived with them. I didn’t want to shower with the door shut. I didn’t want to eat meals at the table. I didn’t want to watch television. I walked constantly to combat my anxiety. I had nightmares. I saw versions of Kyle everywhere I went. Everything was a trigger to my thinking of Kyle. We had been married 12 years and I was married 16 years in my first marriage. I had grief and remorse over my first marriage too! Kyle and I committed adultery and I really felt bad about that as did Kyle. I just unraveled after he left me and felt this pulling sensation in the back of my body all the time. It was like the enemy had a hold on me and didn’t want to let go.
It’s been over 5 years now that I’ve been here in Idaho. I am much better than I was. It’s been about 2 years since I decided to accept Jesus as my savior. I finally made the choice that God had been patiently waiting for me to make. With this choice and my saying yes some doors have opened. I have gotten more involved with my church and that has made me some friends. I even got baptized which I didn’t think I would do. Now if he would only heal me from what’s going on in my head and lower back I could be of more use – a better vessel for the Holy Spirit. These conditions have prevented me from volunteering as much as I could be.
The other thing missing is a companion to share the rest of my life with. I have kind of resigned myself to my ending up being alone the rest of my life but I don’t know Gods plans for me about this. If I do fall in love again I want him to share in my love of Jesus and of course Link must approve of whoever he ends up being!
Thank you for reading!
Dear Jesus I pray for this world as fallen as it is that more of the lost will find their way to you. I pray for the poor, sick, mentally and physically in decline. I pray for all leaders in positions of power and influence that your will be done through their words and deeds. I pray for an end to all animal cruelty. I pray for an end to all wars that there would be peace. I pray for all children especially those being abused and or neglected. I pray for the children suffering in war ravaged parts of the world. Thank you. Amen.
What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Why?
Hello to you. I hope this finds you well in your world and if things are not going well that you have hope in your heart. Remember people all over the world are praying for you.
Today’s prompt calls to mind a couple hard decisions I’ve had to make. One was deciding to have a hysterectomy and never have children. We put my health as the priority. I had fibroid cysts that would have just keep coming back had I not decided to have my lady parts removed. The other decision that immediately came to mind was euthanizing our cocker spaniel Sam – we just didn’t want to let him go! He was so tired and weak when the end finally had to come. Sam was my soulmate and I don’t think I’ll ever have another like him. I’ve told God Sam had better be there in heaven when it’s my time to go!
Revelation 5:13New International Version
13 Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, saying:
“To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!”
Hello to you. How are you? I am having one of those days that I’m going to have to push through. Even with taking my medication I’m still having a little trouble! The thing that happens with my head and ears is strong today. Writing about it helps.
Today my prayers go out to the people of Jamaica and those also in the path of Hurricane Melissa in the Caribbean. I can remember what it was like having to evacuate when I lived in Florida and was at technical training in Mississippi. It was so scary! The aftermath and cleanup was so devastating!
23 Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. 24 Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. 25 The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”
26 He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
27 The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”
To be 