Category: Bipolar life

15 March 2023 Belonging

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Food, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. I’m just home from joining my Aunt and Uncle at Golden Corral in Nampa ID and members of their life group from church (Grace Bible Church Nampa). I never eat my moneys worth at buffet restaurants but it was nice and the food was decent. I quit eating when I was full which can be hard at such a place with its endless supply for you to gorge yourself on!

It was nice to meet some more people – all older than me. Most of the people my age are still working so I don’t see them except like Tuesday’s Women’s Bible study I’ve been going to and church services when I go. I am wanting to have a sense of belonging and my Aunt tries to help me with that. It doesn’t help that I get tired so easily – the Mal de barque syndrome – all my movements are exaggerated and I feel like I’m lugging around so much extra weight ( which I am!) I feel so out of shape and sluggish. Even after a month using the Steve Harvey drink powder (L’elevate you) I still don’t feel much different.

7 February 2023 Vitamin D and Comfort Zones

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you today? Link and I are getting some vitamin D. The past couple days it’s been really nice outside so we’ve been taking advantage of it.

I decided to join a Bible study starting tonight and they are using the devotional Beauty not Beheld. This is out of my comfort zone but I decided to give it a try anyways. I have been wanting to make friends and get out of the house more and it seems like church activities is a way to do both. I find spiritual activities with women is more about relationship than religion. I feel like that is what I have with Jesus…..God.

My Linky boy getting some sun
It’s a little hazy but that big ball of light is still there

26 January 2023 Tik Tok

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Social media, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you? I hope well. I’m still recovering from falling- my back is still not happy with me! To pass the time lately I’ve discovered the phenomenon of Tik Tok. It’s amazing to see the range of people and what they are doing on there. There is a wide range of types of people on there to include people that would be considered disabled making a space for themselves. I’m thinking about exploring it more but not sure about the rules to going live etc.

It’s interesting to see the range of talent on the platform. It’s cool that there are more ways to get discovered and share yourself with the world. One of the things that is new to me is ASMR:

autonomous sensory meridian response

ASMR stands for autonomous sensory System of meridian response; a term used to describe a tingling, static-like, or goosebumps sensation in response to specific triggering audio or visual stimuli. These sensations are said to spread across the skull or down the back of the neck and, for some, down the spine or limbs.Apr 26, 2022

There are several people that have channels dedicated to this. They put stuff on to their microphone which makes certain noises. Sometimes it helps with sleep. You might be already familiar with all this – I’m just catching up !

My positive intentions and prayers go out to the world today. Whatever you are facing just know your not alone.

25 January 2023 Hearing

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you? Yesterday I had an audiology appt and unfortunately it didn’t include diagnosing Mal de barque syndrome. The tester was aware of the condition but wasn’t able to diagnose it with her tests. She recommended I see a neurologist. My hearing was ok which was good. I have an appt Monday with my primary care doctor so we will discuss the audiology appt results and recommendations. I am hoping a referral to neurology will be possible. Apparently it’s hard to get an appt.

I am trying to stay positive through this process. There is a part of me that struggles to stay actively engaged in what’s happening. I am not thrilled about being in the “system.” I was trying to avoid this but it seems I cannot avoid it any longer.

17 January 2023 First Session

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you today? Today I had my first online session with a therapist through better help.com. I was surprised that he was deaf so it was kind of hard to understand him at times but I think we connected. He taught me a anxiety grounding technique 3 2 1. Three things you can see, two things you can touch or smell, one thing you can hear. It’s a way to ground yourself when your having a panic attack. I shared this video with him that helps me a lot: https://youtu.be/pJWY3Bkkaew – Relax For Awhile Anxiety Attack Talkdown

Today we have sunshine which is great! I really feel bad for those people in California that are dealing with flooding and rains right now.

14 January 2023 Passages

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, books, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. The message from A Woman’s Spirit for today resonated – May be it will resonate with you as well:

We are not unlike a particularly hardy crustacean……with each passage from one stage of human growth to the next, we too, must shed a protective structure. – Gail Sherry

Our passage into a new stage of development was initiated by our desire to stop using chemicals. The values we lived by while using chemicals no longer got us. We need to shed our old skin and grow a new one that reflects our current world view.

We are now, and always will be, in the stage of becoming, of trying to fulfill our changing dreams and aspirations. What we can accomplish at one stage of life is different from what we can handle at another. And yet an overall design is being shaped by all our endeavors. The more willing we are to shed yet another skin, the more centered, stable, and spirit-filled we’ll become.

Do my actions fit my values ? As I outgrow my values, I will release them. I we I’ll relish my growth today and celebrate my new skin.

9 January 2023 New Year

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, history, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there. How are you? I hope your new year is off to a great start. Can you believe it’s the 9th already?!

I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions as I probably won’t keep them lol. What I do want is a positive year so let’s hope for that.

A new fur baby for Link from my Auntie

27 December 2022 Quiet World

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Mental Health, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you? I hope this finds you well. I just went and got groceries – not my favorite chore. When I bent down to a lower shelf to get some chicken soup I lost my balance and fell. Very embarrassing! I am too heavy and need to lose weight.

Today I’m thinking about how quiet my world is compared to when I was manic and was connected to the spirit world. I miss my friends – the benevolent spirits that kept me company. I was never alone or lonely when they were with me. Another side effect of the medication in addition to losing a lot of hair. My hair is really brittle and whenever I brush it a bunch comes out . This happened with Depakote before.

Quiet mind vacant drifts the waves fall on blank and porous shores.

20 December 2022 Family

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you? I hope we’ll. I’m doing ok. Still having the swaying motion and stuff but can tell the prayers are helping. This past Sunday we got together to celebrate Christmas. We had a full house to include new baby Suton. The house was full but we had a nice time. My Uncle Bill catered the meal like normally does – bbq and a side dish of macaroni and cheese. We are all so grateful he does that as it makes getting together so much easier especially for my Aunt and Uncle.

We did the traditional gift exchange game and that was fun. I ended up with yummy See’s candy. My gift contribution was a fuel gift card and chocolate.

For Christmas Eve I will be going over to my cousins for brunch which will be nice. No plans for Christmas Day. They are doing construction on the main road I take to get to my Aunts and the route around is quite a detour.

Me with my Auntie
We frosted some cookies

16 December 2022 Asking for Help

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you today? Today my thoughts turn to something that has never been easy for me to do and that is asking for help. I’ve always been self reliant and independent but since I’ve moved here to Idaho and the health issues that have cropped up I have been having to ask for help and thanks be to God it’s been there!

What is it that keeps us from wanting to ask for help? Pride? Fear of making debts we may not be able to repay? Lately I’ve been asking Jesus for his help a lot. I’m hoping for some miracle that only he can deliver in regards to my health. May be that’s why I’m going through this at all – so that I might get closer to him. Not try and rely on my own strength and understanding. That’s what it seems like anyways.

I’m grateful for my family here helping me get through what I’m going through. They are extensions of Jesus in my life.