8 December 2022 Taking Time

A couple good messages today:

Some times we just need a reminder to slow down
We don’t always know what others are going through

Today I have a telephone consult with a psychiatrist and I don’t know what I’m going to say to her. She wants a goal and lately it’s all I can do to take care of basic things for myself. I don’t think she understands Mal de debarquement syndrome can be so debilitating. I really think that’s what I have going on and there is no cure. Please keep me in your prayers about this. Much love to you!

7 December 2022 Personal testimony about Mal de barquement syndrome

https://youtu.be/gsGNKHi_FUM – breaking my silence – Mal de barquement syndrome

All of what she’s describing is what I have going on. It’s the best video I have seen describing the symptoms of the condition.

7 December 2022 Creativity

Hello to you . Hope this finds you well. I’m struggling with creativity and medication. I’ve found that when I am on strong medication I can’t think as clearly as I normally can. My drawing and writing skills are impaired. I am having to choose between mania and sedation I guess. I choose reality – sanity and if that means sedation then that’s what has to happen.

My drawing is primitive but heart felt – love my boy his 8th bday is in a couple days
Another of my Grandmas clippings for me

5 December 2022 Every Lesson is a Teacher

Some lessons come around more than once

My life is challenging these days. With the ears and swaying issues I feel tired a lot of the time. I feel like I want to sleep most of the time. I haven’t heard about my referral yet. God is testing me I think!

29 November 2022 Every Day

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope you are well. I am thinking about how we should try to live our faith everyday not just on holidays and special occasions. When I was married that is something we figured out. You shouldn’t have to wait til your anniversary to express your love for each other. There are so many things that we do for the holidays that we should be doing all year long. We have the opportunity to live our faith every day. Live generously each day as you can.

28 November 2022 A Quest For Answers

Hello to you. Today I had an appt with a doctor at the VA about my swaying situation. He wants to persue a quest for answers through checking my ears and neurology. We brought up the fact I had been tased and want to see if that would have any impact on what’s going on. So we shall see. He’s doing a referral for me through the Elks – I hope they can help me. What pleased both my Aunt and I is that he didn’t just think tapering off medication was the only answer. He is taking the physical into consideration.

It looks like my Aunt and Uncle are interested in going to see Season 3 of The Chosen in the theatre tomorrow. It’s such a good show! By going we would be showing our support.

23 November 2022 Taxes and Movement

Hello to you. How are you? Today I got my Idaho property tax bill – $672! Not exactly thrilled about that. The other thing today is my swaying issue. I can barely walk it was so bad today. So frustrating . I have an appt on Monday about it. There is a part of me that is skeptical that the medical establishment will be able to help me. We shall see what happens. There is a part of me wondering if this was brought on by the tasering I experienced back in August. They say brain damage can be a side effect.

22 November 2022 A Goal

Hello to you. How are you? I hope well. I just had a telephone consult with my psychologist through the VA and it was pretty intense. She is a short term therapist with goal orientated treatment. I don’t know if she and I will be a good fit or not but will give it a try. She wants me to come up with a goal for treatment. The goal I am thinking of involves leaving the house more. This means leaving Link alone more and that’s hard for me. I don’t like leaving him alone a lot. We shall see what comes up. I talked to her about my swaying sensation being a problem about me doing things. She is going to forward a note about it to my nurse.

Something I’m struggling with with volunteering is driving too. May be there is something I can do that doesn’t involve a lot of driving. I will lift this up to God. I will be useful some how.

20 November 2022 Not giving up the faith

Hello to you. How are you today? Today my message has to do with reconciling what happened to me during my episode and not giving up my faith about it. When the police tazzed me like they did I screamed out for Jesus to come and help me but he didn’t come. I ended up in the hospital again. Is that what the answer was? Working through other people to help me? This is what a lot of people have said to me. I have had a crisis of faith but realize without Jesus and his people I am so alone.

Church today

I am not giving up on my faith. May be in all that is happening is a humbling I needed – to realize I can’t do this life alone and have to ask for help.