3 Dec 2024 Change

December 4, 2024 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Mental Health, photography, space, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. Today has been uneventful. I am feeling a little better after catching another cold. There was talk about something happening today with regard to space people but of course nothing happened! I am thinking something is brewing with the increase in sightings. I am thinking it has to do with the increasing unrest going on in the world – Sabre rattling about using nukes. If I was a space person watching all of what’s going on I think I would want to intervene too!

My answer to today’s prompt is if I could change one thing about myself I would not be Bipolar. Having this diagnosis has really limited me in so many ways. I have lost two marriages and many friendships and relationships with family. I lost a career because of this condition. The only good thing to ever come of being Bipolar was the wellspring of energy and creativity during the times I was manic. I would hardly sleep and my creative abilities seemed endless. I could draw, paint, sing, write, take awesome photos, dance, tap into the spiritual realms – all of this with little to no effort. Having the mania under control with the medication I’m on – Depakote- I can’t do much of anything anymore. This blog is my only outlet! In addition to Bipolar I have the Mal de barque syndrome where I have trouble with balance. I’m convinced it was triggered by my being tased by police when I was having a manic episode two years ago. It just won’t go away! So I guess there are actually two things I wish I could change!

Since I cannot change what I am, I have to push through with it all. I have to force myself to move forward even if I don’t want to. I pray a lot and ask for healing. I am trying to say yes more often when I would usually say no. One of the side affects of Depakote is weight gain and not feeling full after eating. With the balance challenges it’s hard to exercise to get rid of calories but I force myself to get a walk in with Link each day. I’m trying to lower my calorie count too. I am trying to say no more often to eating sweets which is my favorite type of food! Not all of what I am can be blamed on being Bipolar! I wish I could get back to size 16 jeans again. Obesity runs in my Dads side of the family so my genetics are kind of stacked against me along with my diagnosis.

Some scripture about change:

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot”.
Isaiah 43:18-19“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”.
Psalm 30:5“Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”.
Romans 8:28“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”.
2 Corinthians 5:17“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”.
Hebrews 13:8“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”.
Malachi 3:6“I the Lord do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed”.
James 1:17“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows”.
Ephesians 4:22-24“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness”.

20 October 2023 Lazy Days

October 21, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, history, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. God has been at the wheel of the stuff I’ve been going through lately – extremely grateful for the prayers of family, friends and even strangers! My Aunt met a elderly veteran who gave her this cross for me and said he would pray for me. The wagons of Gods people have been rallied! I’m so, so grateful!

I don’t usually wear crosses because of what they represent – the murder of an innocent man but understand what it means in Christianity.

When I think of todays prompt I think of my life right now gradually getting in place. It’s taken me three years to get where I’m at. Many of the days leading up to this one were littered with fear, sadness and grief – lack of faith! A lot of my days have not very productive and could be perceived as lazy days. I was in such a state of shock leaving Texas. I have been retired from active duty longer than I was in (21 years). When I was active duty I burned the candle at both ends. I was usually the one leadership turned to when a program was a mess. I worked a lot of long days cleaning up messes. Lazy days meant more to me then they do now. I don’t have a specific purpose when I wake up each day! When I was active duty I was up at 4:30 am and worked til after 5.

I haven’t completely found a fit for me here yet in being useful again. A lot of what holds me back is driving. I hate driving! When I was married, Kyle used to always drive and I got used to that after 12 years! I was spoiled! I keep my eyes open for things I can do – little things. When my back is not hurting I would like to help set up at the church again. I don’t want to feel like I’m wasting the gift of my life. A lot of people I’ve known haven’t even lived as long as I have.

One of my favorite passages from the Bible – makes me think of a Palladian (class I played in FFXI video game). In these trying times we must put on our armor!

Ephesians 6:10-13New International Version

The Armor of God

¹⁰Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

17 October 2023 First Time

October 17, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What could you try for the first time?

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well in spite of all the stuff going on in this world. I am trying to remain calm and relaxed. I know the more anxious I feel the more I need to pray and lean into my faith. Its just hard to do sometimes. The natural inclination when going through rough times is to be anxious and worry. That, unfortunately, shows a lack of faith. I have to trust Jesus has the wheel of what I’m facing. I am grateful for all my family and friends that are praying for me right now.

The first thing that came to mind when I saw todays prompt was snorkeling or scuba diving. I’ve never done either of these things. There is so much to discover in the underwater realms. I have only ever been a land dweller! I lived in Florida for a couple of years but never did anything but swim in the ocean and do some fishing. I got to see dolphins off in the distance from where I was swimming. I can remember fishing at the shore and a dolphin coming right next to me! I love dolphins! They are such miracles!

Isaiah 43:19New International Version

¹⁹See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.

5 October 2023 Prayer

October 5, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Home, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you today. How are you? This morning was our prayer group and we had five of us. We each brought forth our own prayer needs and the needs of those within and outside of our church. There is power in prayer! We hope to speak positive energies into what seems like attacks on members of the church. A lot of people are struggling with sickness and mourning loss of friends and family members. It’s possible to make a foothold for the enemy in resentment and the lower energy vibrations of grief and sorrow.

Psalm 30:5New International Version

⁵For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.

27 July 2023 Someone Cares

July 27, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hi there! How is your week going this far? I’m just back from the Thursday prayer meeting – so glad I went. I got to meet a new person and as a group we talked about something we all had in common – a family member committing suicide and mental health. The pain of the loss be it fresh or a few years down the road never really goes away. Time numbs the wounds, faith restores hope. Some day we will see each other again! Mental Health is so hard to understand. It’s not like a broken bone or a one time problem you can just snap your fingers and fix. Suicide attempts are not just attention seeking but a legitimate cry for help.

Along these lines it comes to me to put it out in the cosmos that no matter what life may seem to be someone cares. For example, in a little gathering of four people just today, strangers to you, lifted you up in prayer. Someone cares about you no matter how it may seem. You are not alone! God has shown me this through my family both blood and not.

Exodus 33:14

¹⁴ The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

Psalm 139:7

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?

I was happy to see the return of these purple flowers

Matthew 26:41New International Version

⁴¹“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

*RIP Sinead O’Connor – they haven’t said how she died but I have my suspicions from her history. I hope she has found peace.

4 May 2023 Quote

May 4, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?

Hello to you. Just back from a short walk with Link. Today began with a nice prayer meeting at Grace House. It was three of us and very productive. A focus was given to the recent deaths associated with Middleton to include two suicides and we also focused on a future home for our church. Lois had a good idea about rather than building new churches that like Christian churches share facilities. Pastor Jason’s idea was like have Church Middleton with different campuses. So much money gets used up for buildings and then there is less left over for ministries to help people. Another point of emphasis was more volunteers to help with different parts of the church. It’s usually the same people who do most of the heavy lifting! I wish I could do more but I just can’t – physically mostly. I get so tired. I walked over there and back and felt so sore. My back hasn’t been right since the fall this winter.

Todays prompt is about a quote I think of and live by often. I have several. One is lead by example and another is where you go there you are. I feel it’s important to be a positive example in the world – action speaks louder than words. These past couple of years have been hard for me because I don’t feel like I have done enough. I haven’t been a very good example. The family and friends that surround me are great at leading by example. I just haven’t had the energy to be the leader I used to be. So I am doing what I can. Being a part of the prayer team is a little something I am able to do.

The other quote or saying kind of ties with the first. You can’t escape yourself – where you go there you are. Just because you move to a new location doesn’t mean your not the same you in the new location. You bring you along to the new place. Since moving here from Texas I did that. There have been some changes but those changes have been to my health. This Mal debarque Syndrome makes me so tired. I didn’t have the swaying motion in my head when I walked in Texas.

Matthew 18:20New International Version

²⁰For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Some sights on my walk yesterday and back from the prayer meeting this morning

12 December 2022 Belief

December 12, 2022December 12, 2022 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you . How are you today? My thoughts turn to belief today. I want to believe in the healing power of God over what I’ve got going on physically and psychologically. I want to believe God is healing me and restoring me to my self. Half of the battle in healing is just that I think. People can pray for us but if we don’t believe the change can’t occur.

Thank you for your kind words and prayers of support – I believe they are helping!

13 May 2022 Armor

May 13, 2022 by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, books, Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Nature, photography, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, technology, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you on this Friday the 13th! How are you? I’m happy to say last night was drama free other than the usual struggle to fall asleep. Yesterday I had a visit with my Aunt, Uncle and their little dog Smokey. She’s healing well from the knee surgery but there is pain and swelling. when I arrived her physical therapist was there helping her do exercises to help with the healing process. She and I talked about a lot to include her telling me that the previous night she had a horrible nightmare. It felt to her that whatever was after me went after her instead. So last night I told her that we should both read and pray about putting on the armor of God before bed. The other thing I did was focus on Jesus in various ways – even looking at silly gifs people have made with him in it. From the information on the shroud of Turin faces of Christ have emerged and I found the one I felt the most peace seeing. I have it on my phone so if I wake up in the night like I do, I can have a face to see – to rest in.

This is when I think the resurrection happened and the image was made on the shroud. It’s interesting to think of the power of light. They say an energy more powerful than that of all the earth was responsible for the illumination that occurred to make the image on the shroud.

Can you imagine looking into these eyes? There are many images of what people think he looked like. This one resonates with me. I often think of his saying he would return -he didn’t say specifically how he would do that!

Messages from A Woman’s Spirit for today:

The truest measurement of my growth and accomplishments is in remembering where I came from, where I’ve been, and where I’m going. – Joan Rohde

Our daily routines can be so absorbing that we lose perspective on how we used to live. That’s okay. We need to be present to the moment. However, it benefits us to remember occasionally what our lives used to be like. Never getting too far from the insanity of our past helps us be grateful for the gifts that have become commonplace now.

We’ve grown as the result of recovery. For many of us, very little in our lives looks or feels the same.We have new friends, sober relationships, more self-esteem, and a positive direction.

A true gift of this new life is that we have hope.We know we can do great things. We know we lived through our traumas because we had not yet fulfilled our purpose, our part of God’s destiny. And we know we’ll get the guidance we need to fulfill that destiny if we remain committed to the program’s principles.

I am in a”growing”state of mind. My life is a rich and purposeful play directed by my Higher Power.

(What comes to mind reading this is almost everyone has a “something” that has taken their focus not just stuff like alcohol, food or work. A something has been overly influential in their life. There is a long list of what those something’s are and just what has happened to a life when those something’s rule. Is the something influencing you these days feeding your worldly aspect or your soul? How do you feel in the “something” process? Does it lift you up or break you down?)

I always hope something in these blogs helps….speaks to someone else besides me!

A little walk yesterday:

I’ve never seen this type of flower before!

I love stopping to see what the various trees on my walks are doing – their processes for living a life as a tree.

The first cat we’ve encountered on a walk around here that wasn’t bothered by Link.

I could take pictures of the sun and clouds all day lol! I’m always amazed to see what’s going on up there.

“Hello! I’m a good boy! You try to be good too ok?!”

30 March 2022 Fair

March 30, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, Health, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Politics and Government, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Television, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 30 March 2022 Wednesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1441259554

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope well. Last night was another struggle with getting sleep but God and I got through it. My head has been really full the past few days and I’ve been thinking and praying about a lot. There has been so much going on near and far that has captured my attention and care. It’s hard to wind down when I’m like that. Before bed I saw a video that added more thoughts to my head and prayers to my lips. It was about our President and his mental condition. The source was from Fox News which I expected to be cruel about this subject but Tucker Carlson wasn’t. He brought up some very valid concerns. I will let you judge for yourself if you are interested: https://youtu.be/gsOnnLts-4U – Tucker: Biden can’t regulate his emotions. Being a leader at any strata of this existence isn’t an enviable position. So much responsibility and pressure! God is working in these people. I hope to continue to see God at work. I’m already seeing glimpses of it with the war in the Ukraine. What we focus the power of our thoughts on the most is what helps God manifest those thoughts into reality. That’s how it seems to me anyways! Prayers for leaders at all levels!

Message from A Woman’s Spirit for today:

By embracing the unfair, I no longer feel fear or reflection or lack of self-esteem. – Eileen Fehlen

It’s so human to quickly label an unwanted situation as unfair and to assume we know what’s best for us. We reason that if God would answer our prayers, our lives would unfold appropriately. It’s also terribly human to have to relearn repeatedly that God’s will and God’s timetable don’t always match our own; however , without fail they serve us well.

Learning to appreciate the good in everything that comes our way makes us courageous. In time few things will fill us with fear, and that is measurable progress. We were tormented by fear for so many years that we never expected this rebirth of spirit. Life is beginning to feel inviting, exciting and safe. Let’s step forth together.

I can be certain that God will give me only what is right for me today.

—————

Today I picked up a round piece of rose quartz I have and it was so comforting. There have been several times when I’ve been sick that I have held rose quartz and felt like it helped me heal. When my friend and I went to a rock and gem show I could tell by the crowds that I’m not the only one who feels like these stones help. I know for some it seems like woo woo and that’s ok! It could be a placebo effect somewhat but like with the rose quartz orb I’m holding as I write to you – it feels good in my hand. I think of those worry stones – remember those?

Rose quartz is known as a healing crystal and the stone of unconditional love.
…
It’s believed by some to emit strong vibrations of love, which are thought to:

support emotional and relationship healing.
inspire compassion.
boost feelings of peace and calm.

https://www.healthline.com › health

Rose Quartz Crystal: Meaning, Healing, and How to Use – Healthline

6 Nov 2020 Election Day

November 6, 2020 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, history, In the News, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you and how are you? It’s been a couple days since I have written again. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly the days slip past me this time of year.

The subject that has me preoccupied right now is the election. I didn’t get my absentee ballot requested fast enough so I didn’t get to vote. God must have known I couldn’t make up my mind on who to vote for. I have been following live feeds on Youtube. It seems like Joe Biden is winning but there is nothing official yet. May the best man win.

May the doors that need to open, open. May the doors that need to shut, shut. Amen”” in the English Ordinal system equals 779 (all the vices in check for a no process)

I decided to see what election day came up to in the numbers:

“election day” in the English Ordinal system equals 113 (of course a 13) (one one yes, no, may be)