28 June 2023 Overcoming Darkness

Hello to you. How are you? I just had a good talk with my Aunt. She was concerned about what I wrote about yesterday regarding spirituality. She felt it was a little dark and that we need to be moving on from those memories. I reassured her the best I could. I had to remind her that in addition to writing for me I’m writing to help others like me or the family and friends of those like me. By sharing my experience, strength and hope I am hopefully helping someone else who might be going through similar circumstances and have no place to turn to.

What I learned through AA is the more we share our stories of recovery the less it hurts and the more people we help. Each day someone is diagnosed with Bipolar and it can be devastating and overwhelming. I still don’t completely understand it and I’ve been living with it for many years now. I just know Mania and crippling anxiety is what we want to prevent from happening! The Mal de Barque syndrome is also going on too and there is no cure for it or even real tests that can definitely identify it.

My family and friends, my church all encourage me to lean not on my understanding but to lean on God through all of this. I’m trying! I want to make it clear that I’m not seeking sympathy or attention by sharing. I am sharing to help understanding about a condition that doesn’t make sense! There are people who think mental illnesses are something you can just get over and it’s like diabetes or heart disease – you just can’t see it by looking at a person but it’s very real and needs special treatment with both medication and therapy. It’s an inside job until the bad stuff happens and can be seen in behavior!

My Aunt directed me to a great passage in the Bible that she wants to memorize:

Philippians 4:8
New International Version
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

12 June 2023 Tagline

If humans had taglines, what would yours be?

Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing ok – just back from a walk around the block – it’s really sunny out. I took a few pictures so you could come along with me!

Todays prompt brought to mind “little things.” If I were to have a tag line that would be it. I believe it’s the little things that mean a lot. I’ve talked about that before here. How often is there significant or big events in a life? So much of life is little things and those are what I like to dwell on. How many mornings I wake up to my sweet Link with his messy furry face after emerging from underneath the covers. Stopping to notice and smell flowers big and small, “weed” or cultivated roses. Recently I found out one day for us is a week in a dogs life! No wonder they appreciate everything so much!

Link enjoying a little time outside

One of my favorite Saints lived her life valuing the little things too:

What is the main message of St. Therese?

Saint Thérèse is known as the Saint of the Little Ways, meaning she believed in doing the little things in life well and with great love. She is represented by roses. May everyone who receives this message be blessed.

10 June 2023 Time

Who do you spend the most time with?

Hello there. How are you doing? I’m doing ok. It’s a beautiful Saturday. Lots of sunshine!

Who do I spend the most time with? My dog Link and my cell phone! Being divorced and untrusting of the internet dating apps and I don’t get out much means spending a lot of time by myself….staying at home.

I would say the other being I spend the most time with is God. I will say though that for the past couple of years my relationship with God has been different. Almost strained if I can use a word for it. I have to work at it more than I used to. This last episode really tested my relationship. I know everyone thinks God didn’t abandon me but that’s not what it felt like to me getting tased by people I was always praying for – the police and fire fighters. May be that’s just what needed to happen to prevent a complete downward spiral and God knew it. I was not safe on my own. I just know our relationship isn’t what it used to be. I try to stay close but some days God seems so far away. Thankfully I have beautiful family and friends to remind me of Gods love for me.

My best friend with paws – Link is Gods feet on the ground to help me not be completely alone day to day

Isaiah 59:1-2New International Version

Sin, Confession and Redemption

59 Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save,
nor his ear too dull to hear.
2 But your iniquities have separated
you from your God;
your sins have hidden his face from you,
so that he will not hear.

1 June 2023 Job

What jobs have you had?

Hello to you. How is your week going? Can you believe it’s June already? This year is flying by.

So todays question is what jobs have you had. The only job I had was for 16 years active duty in the United States Air Force. I was a Personnelist or a secretary. I worked in the MPF (Military Personnel Flight) at the bases I was stationed at. Personnelist were responsible for taking care of other military members on base – their careers, evaluation reports, retention contracts, training, retraining, assignments and more.

When I worked in Customer Service I would have to do Identification Cards for widows and widowers. It was such a sensitive thing I would cry after they left. I was a very sensitive person! My favorite job was Personnel Systems Management- working with computers and really fun guys was way better than Personnel. It was short-lived bliss though as they outsourced our jobs to civilians shortly after I retrained into the job! Being the highly sensitive person that I was, I just wasn’t cut out for military life; I didn’t make it to a full retirement. I got so attached to people, places and things that when it was time to say good-bye it was just so hard each time. The people you work with you grow to love like family! I hate good-byes!

My first duty assignment was a Travis AFB California and that’s were I met and married my first husband. Our second assignment was in Germany at Bitburg ABS I really loved being in Europe – didn’t want to leave! Our third assignment was in Colorado. I was stationed at Falcon AFB and my husband Peterson AFB in Colorado Springs. I was at Falcon then HQ Air Force Space Command and then the MPF at Peterson. I loved Colorado because I got to see my Grandma and my Uncle Bill more often, she lived in Ft. Collins and he was living in Golden and was a CEO at Coors. The natural beauty of Colorado was amazing. My first husband loved to fish and I would go with him. I loved falling asleep on the shore of a lake on Pikes Peak – the quaking Aspens would lull me to sleep. My last assignment was at Patrick AFB. I had my breakdown there and was medically retired. I was doing some really unhealthy things trying to cope with my failing marriage and too much work. I liked Florida but missed Colorado! Living in a beach type world is definitely a different lifestyle.

Colossians 3:23-24 says: “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.

17 May 2023 To be Seen

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. My thoughts turn to being seen by God. There have been times in my life that I have felt so close to God – that we were connected. These past couple of years- since my medication change by getting off Lithium, my creativity and spirituality doors have been almost completely shut. Thank goodness for my cell phone camera! I have an eye for beauty and just because I’m no longer creative in the ways I used to be, I can capture images of God and Mother Earths creativity. I have to practice what I preach “it’s not what you can’t do in this life! What can you do – focus on that!” Seeing and being seen by God is a two way street.

Genesis 16:13New International Version

13 She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen[a] the One who sees me.”

10 May 2023 Connected

Hello to you – how are you doing? It’s a sunny, blue sky day here. I went and got groceries a little while ago. Found some new chews by Blue dog food for Link. He gobbled it down!

Today my thoughts turn toward how we are connected in this world. Being my age, I have gone through so many phases of what it means to be connected to family, friends and the world. I know what it was like to not have computers and the internet! We used the telephone and letters. We used to actually go and visit friends and loved ones. Now days it’s so easy to just rely on the internet – texts messages. I am guilty of this. I am blessed to have my mom who still writes to me on occasion! It’s nice to now live near family – we will be getting together for Mothers Day on Sunday which will be really nice. To me being together is one of the best ways to be connected. What does it mean to you to be connected in this modern world?

Link makes doggy connections with other dogs via the yards in the neighborhood

1 Thessalonians 5:11New International Version

11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

6 May 2023 Walking

Hello to you. How are you this day- it’s Saturday here. I’m here with Link. We got out for a walk together. I cherish these moments as he is getting older and just doesn’t always feel up to walking. I’m only 55 and feel that way! Walking is something so many of us take for granted until we are unable to for whatever reason. I have family that have had knee and hip surgeries because those parts of their bodies have just worn out. Even after the surgeries there is still pain. The longer we live, the longer our bodies have to be able to carry us. Stuff like joints just wear out! Our bodies are like cars – depreciate in condition the moment we leave the show room floor!

Link out for his morning walk

Mark 6:49-50 NIV

But when they saw him walking on the lake, they thought he was a ghost. They cried out, because they all saw him and were terrified. Immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

28 April 2023 Sunshine and Ants

Hello to you. How has your week been? It’s Friday as I write to you. Link and I took a very short walk in the sunshine. Some days that’s all he can manage. He was limping a bit after my visit at my Aunt and Uncles yesterday. He was rolling around a lot and I wonder if he hurt himself. On the walk I got a chance to talk to my neighbor who does such a fine job with her yard. It’s hard to believe she’s 70!

Today has been a little frustrating – got ants in the house. I’m trying white vinegar to try and stink them out. I don’t want to have to call an exterminator. Whatever kills them is going to affect Link and I too. There are pest control companies that use natural plant based products. We shall see what happens.

Psalm 84:11New International Version

11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless

26 April 2023 Yellow and Purple

Hello to you. How are you doing? I’m feeling a bit frustrated with myself. The reason is I’ve noticed I huff and puff on walks. Link is a dawlder and makes frequent stops so I shouldn’t be out of breath. I’m just really out of shape I guess! Last night I tried to dance and barely made it through one song. I have struggled with my weight much of my life.

Something nice about having s dog that likes to take his time is there is time for pictures. The sun is so bright that the pictures I took are a bit overexposed but give you an idea of how beautiful my neighborhood is:

I was looking for a Bible verse about spring and this one came up. I like it!

Isaiah 44:1-4

3 For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants. 4 They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams.

20 April 2023 MRI Results

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. Yesterday my Auntie and I went and had my MRI. I’m so grateful she was able to go with me! They called me today about the results and the doctor had no further concerns. I have a follow up in June to discuss the results. I think my suspicion of my having Mal de barque syndrome is correct. We have checked the ears and the brain and nothing has shown up. So whatever is going on will either eventually go away or I will just have to live with it indefinitely. I will stay in gratitude that nothing bad has come up with all the tests.

This morning at 9:30 am was another prayer team session at Grace House. There were a couple of us to include Pastor Jason. We had about two pages of prayer praises and prayer requests. Some things didn’t make it to the printed list but passed our lips and hearts. There is a lot going on in our little church and the crazy world it’s trying to operate in!

My dear Link helps me each day

Romans 12:5New International Version

5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body,and each member belongs to all the others.

Proverbs 19:21New International Version

21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.