21 Sept 2025 Strength in Weakness

September 21, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I’m just home from church – today marks our 9th year anniversary as a church. The church has grown so much from even when I started coming. I sat with my friend Jeannie and her brother-in-law Roy who was having trouble getting around today. Pastor Keith Waggoner from the Nampa campus we came from gave a great sermon. Today’s message really resonated with me:

2 Corinthians 12:7-10New International Version

⁷or because of these surpassingly great revelations.Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I have been praying for God to heal me from what ails me for several years now and he has not moved. I believe that what is happening to me is similar to what Paul was talking about. If I was in perfect health I might not turn to God like I do. I might become conceited. God has walked with me through a lot – being bipolar, balance issues and chronic back pain. When I was in AA many years ago, he delivered me from alcoholism, chronic skin picking, smoking and bulemia. I have been through a lot in this life and God has been there every step of the way. Just because he hasn’t healed me completely doesn’t mean he’s absent. He has a plan!

Next Sunday I am being baptized. They have asked me to give a testimonial so I will work on that this week! God is moving in my life!

28 June 2023 Overcoming Darkness

June 28, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you? I just had a good talk with my Aunt. She was concerned about what I wrote about yesterday regarding spirituality. She felt it was a little dark and that we need to be moving on from those memories. I reassured her the best I could. I had to remind her that in addition to writing for me I’m writing to help others like me or the family and friends of those like me. By sharing my experience, strength and hope I am hopefully helping someone else who might be going through similar circumstances and have no place to turn to.

What I learned through AA is the more we share our stories of recovery the less it hurts and the more people we help. Each day someone is diagnosed with Bipolar and it can be devastating and overwhelming. I still don’t completely understand it and I’ve been living with it for many years now. I just know Mania and crippling anxiety is what we want to prevent from happening! The Mal de Barque syndrome is also going on too and there is no cure for it or even real tests that can definitely identify it.

My family and friends, my church all encourage me to lean not on my understanding but to lean on God through all of this. I’m trying! I want to make it clear that I’m not seeking sympathy or attention by sharing. I am sharing to help understanding about a condition that doesn’t make sense! There are people who think mental illnesses are something you can just get over and it’s like diabetes or heart disease – you just can’t see it by looking at a person but it’s very real and needs special treatment with both medication and therapy. It’s an inside job until the bad stuff happens and can be seen in behavior!

My Aunt directed me to a great passage in the Bible that she wants to memorize:

Philippians 4:8
New International Version
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Took my phone along for a short walk last night

21 April 2023 Random Encounter

April 21, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Describe a random encounter with a stranger that stuck out positively to you.

Hello to you. How are you? I’m feeling a bit strange – tired. I woke up a couple times in the night – not a restful sleep. Then I got a text at like 4:30 in the morning from a person I reconnected with lol. So I’m writing from bed. Link has his annual exam at the vet today so I have to get up and at em eventually!

Todays prompt brought to mind a great part of my journey. I was having troubles while being on active duty in Florida. For some reason I was at the finance office on base and ran into a man, I can’t remember his name, but he was really beautiful. He was a black man with crystal blue eyes. I think I have mentioned before I have a thing with blue eyes. Anyways we started talking. He was a broker I think, He asked me if I had a church home and I said no, He invited me to the mega church he was attending in addition to a lunch his company was having for clients.

What’s funny about meeting this man is back when I was in Colorado I had gone to Manitou Springs a few years before being stationed in Florida, I had a rune reading done that prophesied I would meet a man that would change my entire life. Meeting this man felt like s fulfillment of that prophesy.

I went to the mega church with this man and his family and the message was about how the Holy Spirit is an actual person you can have a relationship with. Not just a ghost or something like that. Well this all happened when I was struggling with my mental and physical health. Especially having problems with abusing alcohol and I was taking mental health meds – not a good combination.

It was a Sunday after the message about the Holy Spirit that I was sitting in my sun porch in the base housing we lived in and I was in my swimming suite and drunk. I remembered the message from the church service and just said “I surrender.” The very next day the Holy Spirit started moving me along. The following Monday I was getting my bike out to ride to work and the chain just fell off! I had to put it back on – hands a mess of oil. I was running late then. Then, on the way, I was nearly hit by a turning car had I been a few seconds earlier. I got to work and found out I had an annual physical appointment so I had to leave again. At the appointment there was questions pertaining to alcohol use and I was moved by the Spirit to answer honestly. From there began being sent to treatment in Maryland, introduction to AA (Alcoholics anonymous) and ultimately my being medically retired, divorced and falling in love.

All this after a chance meeting with a perfect stranger! I feel bad I can’t remember his name – meeting him was definitely divine timing.

The Holy Spirit uses many different ways to communicate and guide us on our journey. This reading is not Christian but planted a seed in me. Meeting the seer who gave me this reading was able to tell me someone was going to come along and help me get where I needed to go with God.

25 February 2022 Friday Hoarders

February 25, 2022 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Television, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 25 February 2022 Friday Smokey’s visiting https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1407587191

Hello to you. How are you? It’s Friday and looking like a nice day outside. I have an extra house guest today. My Aunt and Uncle were going up to the mountains today and didn’t want to leave their dog Smokey alone all day. Link loves it when Smokey comes to visit.

So I’ve been watching an A&E show called Hoarders and it is reminding me of how important it is that we are careful how we fill the voids in our lives. What I’ve been seeing on this show is people putting things in the place of their individual traumas. It reminds me of things I used to do and how having a 12 Step Program and stronger relationship with God helped me stop doing those things. For me the big one was buying rings. For a time I just couldn’t stop! I remind myself regularly that things of this world cannot fill the intangible space reserved for matters of the spirit….Gods space in us. It’s all fleeting and changeable…..doesn’t last.

The message today from A Woman’s Spirit has to do with learning from the good example of others and also being a good example ourselves. I like the phrase “lead but your example.” It’s important to acknowledge that people often learn from us when we make mistakes too…..when we fail….when we fall down. We teach people then and also by how we put ourselves back together again.…pick ourselves up and move on.

“No one can tell you which choices to make. We can only show you by good example.” – Jan Pishok (A Woman’s Spirit)

“I am someone’s example for healthy behavior today. I won’t steer anyone wrong.” (A Woman’s Spirit)

17 December 2021 Remembering Where You Came From

December 17, 2021December 17, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Home, Mental Health, photography, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you – how are you? It’s morning as I write to you. The sun is out!! Yay!! The only bad thing is I can see how filthy my window is and I don’t have a ladder to reach it! I am left wondering how the people that sold me the house kept it so clean?! I’ll figure something out.

Yesterday I did some experimenting on my Twitch channel. I tried to take my viewers on a walk around my block but lost my WiFi signal shortly after I left my house. So that didn’t work. I was thinking of my parents when I did it as they haven’t seen where I live. I guess I would have to use something like a go pro and upload the video. Everything has its limitations.

On the stream last night something came to me. What came to me was to share my experience, strength and hope as if I were chairing an AA meeting. The holidays can be a very difficult time of year for folks that have addiction issues. I have experience with alcohol and food addiction. My experience with alcohol only lasted a couple of years but the anorexia and namely bulemia lasted into my thirties. I haven’t really talked about my journey with bulemia yet. It lasted such a long time!

Check out 16 December 2021 Evening visit https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1235501106

I bought some fabric paint online yesterday. I have several “blank” tshirts that I intend on painting. I want to explore having each one having a different variation of Metatrons cube. We will start with one and see how it goes. The thing with painting tshirts is I don’t have to find wall space for a painting – it’s wearable art. You wear it until it gets worn out.

This was a paint kit my friend gave me several months ago. Yesterday I finally got around to using it! What a cheerful message !

I wanted to show you the rock my friend gifted me with – she painted it herself and I think it’s so pretty!

11 October 2021 Living Your Faith

October 11, 2021 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello. How are you? I got a walk in it was chilly and cold. I’m not ready for cold weather again so soon. It seems like just yesterday the trees across the street were blooming!! Sadly I’m not in charge of the earths thermostat !

This morning on the walk I asked what I should write about and the topic that came forth is a hard one . It was about living your faith in your day to day life. Faith isn’t just in sacred text, holy days and churches, temples and synagogues. It’s every day. Sometimes it’s confusing. I have a lot of trouble with the conflicting guidance you get from the Old and New testament . I prefer the messages in the New Testament :

Matthew 5:43-48New International Version

Love for Enemies

⁴³“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor^[a]^(A) and hate your enemy.’^(B) ⁴⁴But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,^(C) ⁴⁵that you may be children^(D) of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.^(E) ⁴⁶If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?^(F) Are not even the tax collectors doing that? ⁴⁷And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?⁴⁸Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.^(G)

It’s easy to love those who love you back and are lovable. It’s easy to pray for your friends and family. Right now I’m having a situation where I’m being challenged to be able to care about someone but not be hurt by caring. I have to keep my distance or risk my own mental health and well being.

How do you live your faith and still stay mentally sound? Something that I’ve done and has been done to me is letting someone go with love. You wish a person a well and happy life but because of irreconcilable differences you can’t be part of each other’s lives. You don’t stop loving and caring for a person but you don’t tolerate their oftentimes negative activity in your life.

It is hard to practice your own advice sometimes especially when your a softy like I am ! It’s easy to take the path of least resistance but end up being a doormat as a result . Thankfully I have a strong support system that is trying to keep me from being that. They don’t want to see me be anybody’s emotional punching bag!

The question remains how do you live your faith in your daily life and still remain intact ? How do all the walks of faith on earth keep it together when it feels like this world is falling apart ? How do you not go crazy trying to live up to ancient doctrine in a world that seems so contrary to most of it ? It feels like we are divided tribes at war for the same sacred spaces . So many questions and so many conflicting answers .

I am still on my quest of faith. I’m one of those that hasn’t quite settled on a path. What does it mean for me to live my faith then? What is my faith? I’m sure The God of my understanding is at work in my life. I just have to remain open minded and willing to proceed. Like I learned in AA just keep doing the next right thing.