15 March 2023 Belonging

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. I’m just home from joining my Aunt and Uncle at Golden Corral in Nampa ID and members of their life group from church (Grace Bible Church Nampa). I never eat my moneys worth at buffet restaurants but it was nice and the food was decent. I quit eating when I was full which can be hard at such a place with its endless supply for you to gorge yourself on!

It was nice to meet some more people – all older than me. Most of the people my age are still working so I don’t see them except like Tuesday’s Women’s Bible study I’ve been going to and church services when I go. I am wanting to have a sense of belonging and my Aunt tries to help me with that. It doesn’t help that I get tired so easily – the Mal de barque syndrome – all my movements are exaggerated and I feel like I’m lugging around so much extra weight ( which I am!) I feel so out of shape and sluggish. Even after a month using the Steve Harvey drink powder (L’elevate you) I still don’t feel much different.

1 March 2023 Loving Ourselves

Hello to you. How are you in your today? I hope well. Last night I went to the Bible study and had a good discussion with the ladies there. I have been having trouble with the devotional we are using. I know it’s not the intention of it to disempower women but some of it comes across that way. I feel like loving ourselves is kind of under scrutiny. I was raised Catholic and I’m attending a Christian church. When I was attending Catholic Church services I feel like the emphasis was on God and not so much Jesus. To me Jesus’s messages is the best part of the Bible. Lately the messages I’m getting is about loving God and others as we should love ourselves but some of us don’t love ourselves. I feel like as Christians we get beat up a little for loving ourselves – for seeking wisdom from inside versus all external in relationship with God/Jesus. I know we are all sinners but I don’t like getting beat up about it. I don’t like being told that no matter what I do I am not good enough. This is where belief in Jesus becomes a focal point. If we are good enough we don’t need Jesus. Anyhew I’m struggling a little bit because I have and know those who have had low self esteem and have turned to God with it and it didn’t help. Sometimes it makes it worse! So keep me in your prayers as I keep you in mine.

14 February 2023 Getting Older

Hello to you. How are you? I hope well. Yesterday was my 55th birthday. We celebrated as a family on Super Bowl Sunday at my cousins house as it was a celebration of both of us. He is 4 years older. It was really nice to celebrate together. I didn’t do anything yesterday but did get some nice cards from my Mom and family.

Today is another one of those Hallmark holidays. I think every day is an opportunity to be someone’s Valentine. When I was married to my last husband, we didn’t do anything as we believed every day was a day to treat each other specially. It’s kind of like Mothers and Father’s Day and holidays like them.

My devotional Beauty Beheld arrived today and I started reading it. I can tell it’s not going to be an easy read! Having others to talk about it will help I hope.

Devotional Beauty Beheld
My cutie boy and present each day

8 February 2023 First Meeting

Hello to you. How is your day going? I am doing ok so far. Last night we had our first meeting of the Women’s Bible study using the Beauty Beheld devotional. There were nine of us which was a nice amount I think. We read from Genesis the first seven days of creation and how God perceived his creation as good. This correlates to each person on this earth and other creation. Even if we might not perceive something as good of beautiful it is to God depending on what it is. There are some activities that people take part in that are in contradiction to good like child pornography was one example. Even if those who participate in it perceive it to be good it is harmful to the victims of it. We talked about the common phrase beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that can be twisted around sometimes too.

I can tell this will be a pretty challenging read and look at the Bible but I’m curious to continue on. The ladies that were there were all looking for the same things I am and that was namely fellowship with other members of the church. Very nice group of women I’m looking forward to knowing better through the next six weeks.

7 February 2023 Vitamin D and Comfort Zones

Hello to you. How are you today? Link and I are getting some vitamin D. The past couple days it’s been really nice outside so we’ve been taking advantage of it.

I decided to join a Bible study starting tonight and they are using the devotional Beauty not Beheld. This is out of my comfort zone but I decided to give it a try anyways. I have been wanting to make friends and get out of the house more and it seems like church activities is a way to do both. I find spiritual activities with women is more about relationship than religion. I feel like that is what I have with Jesus…..God.

My Linky boy getting some sun
It’s a little hazy but that big ball of light is still there

14 January 2023 Passages

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. The message from A Woman’s Spirit for today resonated – May be it will resonate with you as well:

We are not unlike a particularly hardy crustacean……with each passage from one stage of human growth to the next, we too, must shed a protective structure. – Gail Sherry

Our passage into a new stage of development was initiated by our desire to stop using chemicals. The values we lived by while using chemicals no longer got us. We need to shed our old skin and grow a new one that reflects our current world view.

We are now, and always will be, in the stage of becoming, of trying to fulfill our changing dreams and aspirations. What we can accomplish at one stage of life is different from what we can handle at another. And yet an overall design is being shaped by all our endeavors. The more willing we are to shed yet another skin, the more centered, stable, and spirit-filled we’ll become.

Do my actions fit my values ? As I outgrow my values, I will release them. I we I’ll relish my growth today and celebrate my new skin.

16 December 2022 Asking for Help

Hello to you. How are you today? Today my thoughts turn to something that has never been easy for me to do and that is asking for help. I’ve always been self reliant and independent but since I’ve moved here to Idaho and the health issues that have cropped up I have been having to ask for help and thanks be to God it’s been there!

What is it that keeps us from wanting to ask for help? Pride? Fear of making debts we may not be able to repay? Lately I’ve been asking Jesus for his help a lot. I’m hoping for some miracle that only he can deliver in regards to my health. May be that’s why I’m going through this at all – so that I might get closer to him. Not try and rely on my own strength and understanding. That’s what it seems like anyways.

I’m grateful for my family here helping me get through what I’m going through. They are extensions of Jesus in my life.

13 December 2022 Consider the Lilies

Hello to you. How are you today? I was looking through the clippings from my Grandma and found this pretty one. How easy it is for us to take the beauty of each day for granted. Since I’ve had this condition set in on me, I’ve not been as good about appreciating the natural beauty that surrounds me. It’s just a struggle to walk versus easily getting around and taking in the world around me.

Appreciation for the little things that make up our world

12 December 2022 Belief

Hello to you . How are you today? My thoughts turn to belief today. I want to believe in the healing power of God over what I’ve got going on physically and psychologically. I want to believe God is healing me and restoring me to my self. Half of the battle in healing is just that I think. People can pray for us but if we don’t believe the change can’t occur.

Thank you for your kind words and prayers of support – I believe they are helping!

8 December 2022 Taking Time

A couple good messages today:

Some times we just need a reminder to slow down
We don’t always know what others are going through

Today I have a telephone consult with a psychiatrist and I don’t know what I’m going to say to her. She wants a goal and lately it’s all I can do to take care of basic things for myself. I don’t think she understands Mal de debarquement syndrome can be so debilitating. I really think that’s what I have going on and there is no cure. Please keep me in your prayers about this. Much love to you!