15 July 2025 Feeling Better

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. It’s another hot day here in Idaho as I write to you – 91 degrees! I walked about a mile this morning after I got up. I’m trying to walk every day and offset the side effects of the medication I’m taking. Both the Depakote and Olanzapine are known to contribute to weight gain. I need to lose about 100 lbs! I’m tired of carrying all this extra weight.

I wanted to share a praise about how I felt yesterday. I haven’t felt that good in over a month! I finally got relief from anxiety! The Olanzapine (generic Zyprexa) has been making all the difference. The side effect of drowsiness has lead me to restful naps and sleep at night. I hope this lasts!

Oh! I had a very vivid short dream about mosquitos last night. I dreamt some really big ones landed on me and my trying to stop one that had a body that was like a syringe from some man’s neck. When I went to flick it away, some of the fluid in its body got in my mouth – that woke me up! It was like a genetically modified insect. Weird dream! I wonder where that came from?!! I think it’s from hearing about huge mosquitos at the detention center in Florida.

A prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus I pray for this world and all of the life within it. I pray for all the sick, the hungry, the poor and those who are lost in this world because they don’t know you or refuse to surrender to your loving care. I pray for all the lives human beings share this world with and that there can be an end to cruelty and neglect of our fellow animal brothers and sisters. I ask all this in your precious name Jesus. Amen.

11 July 2025 Answered Prayers

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. I just wanted to give out a praise for answered prayers and God showing me his love through my family the past couple of days. As I mentioned in my previous blog I ran out of Olanzapine and it had been a couple of weeks. I was starting to have a real hard time using Benadryl to get me through. Well after some phone calls today my beautiful friend (my cousins wife) Tawna offered to drive me to the Boise VA to get lab work and pick up refills. Wow! That meant everything! Tawna is another person in my life that God works through and has for quite some time. We enjoyed having time to visit as with her busy life we don’t get to see eachother as much as we would like. The visit to the VA in Boise went really smoothly and took no time at all. Very friendly people there! We got a dose in me and went to our new Dairy Queen for lunch which was really nice and took a little walk. She visited with Link and I for a bit on my porch before she left. I love being with her!

I found out the reason my Dr. has been reluctant to up the dose of Olanzapine is because there are a lot of negative side effects the higher the dosage like weight gain and blood sugar for example. He upped my daily dose by taking it two times a day instead of just once which isn’t too much. I noticed today that it relaxed me quite a bit. With being Bipolar there is a fine line between being high and being low. Without the Olanzapine I was running fast and it’s very uncomfortable!

Bottom line today – God hears our prayers and uses us to help eachother! So blessed!

From my Aunt Ruth today:

“He remembered us in our weakness. His faithful love endures forever.”

Psalm 136:23 (NLT)

Lord, I am so grateful that nothing is impossible for You. Even when I feel overwhelmed by events going on around me. When I feel weak, defeated, helpless, or hurting I am not alone. You already knew I would be here and You continue to show me that You can handle anything. Nothing is a surprise to You! Today, please forgive me for the time that I have not trusted in You. Give me the courage to do Your will and show me how I can glorify Your Name. Thank You for always being there especially when I need You most! Jesus’ Name, my Lord, my God, Amen.

10 July 2025 Olanzapine

Hello to you. It’s a nice cool morning after a late afternoon thunderstorm yesterday. I got one walk in already! Sparklight, my WiFi provider, is down this morning. Apparently it’s a big outage with no word when it will be back up. Bummer!

This morning is another morning without Olanzapine (the generic for Zyprexa). What happened is I ran out before the next scheduled refill and have been taking Benadryl to get me through. Benadryl is a poor substitute and it wears off quickly plus it gives me the jitters sometimes! My next call with my psychiatrist I need to talk to him about the refill schedule and find out why it’s on a schedule like it is. I don’t have the same problem with refills for the Depakote I’m also taking for my Bipolar condition.

Philippians 4:13. “For I can do everything through Christ Jesus, who gives me strength.”.

6 May 2025 Praise

Good evening to you. I hope you are well and if you are not I hope you have the support you need. We are living in trying times! I hope you know if you are reading this and are struggling in any way that I and many others are praying for you. You may feel alone but I assure you you’re not. Reach out to Jesus and see him go to work in your life!

I wanted to post a praise. It’s good to have recognition when God answers our pleas for help. In these times it’s good to read good news! My Aunt Ruth just came through a health crisis and there was the possibility she was going to need surgery. She was diagnosed with diverticulitis but there was the possibility she would need surgery to remove infected parts of her intestine. We had been praying for a miracle for her not to need surgery and sure enough she found out today – NO SURGERY! Praise God! Through our faith Jesus is still very much alive and at work!

Here are some examples of Jesus healing in the NIV:

  • Matthew 8:2-4:Jesus cleanses a man with leprosy by saying, “I am willing. Be clean!” and the man is instantly healed. 
  • Matthew 9:20-22:A woman with a hemorrhage, having touched Jesus’s cloak, is immediately healed and told that her faith has healed her. 
  • Luke 5:17-26:Jesus forgives and heals a paralyzed man who is lowered down from the roof. 
  • John 9:Jesus heals a man who was born blind, restoring his sight. 

These are just a few examples, and many other instances of Jesus healing can be found throughout the Gospels in the New Testament. 

23 Mar 2025 The Spirit And The Flesh

Hello to you. It’s Sunday again – boy do the weeks fly by. Signs of spring are all around. The trees are budding and the daffodils are blooming. I have been enjoying seeing the little birds flitting about and singing their love songs. I have been trying to walk a little further even though my back still bothers me. I try to take Link but sometimes he says no so I take him home and go by myself.

Today we were in Galatians 5 again and the emphasis was on the war that we are constantly fighting between the spirit and the flesh. My personal battle is with food. I enjoy eating and my obese body is evidence of it! I have been looking at some things and it’s possible my liver is not working like it should. I meant to look into a supplement today but forgot at the grocery store today.

Pastor Jayson always comes up with relatable messages in his sermons. For example sin is like our shadow – can’t get rid of it. Fruit trees bear fruit not for itself but for us. The same can be said about fruits of the spirit. Gifts of the spirit are for the common good and fruits of the spirit are for everyone to enjoy. A very timely message for this time of year!

Galatians 5:16-26New International Version

16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever[a] you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality,impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

16 Mar 2025 Letting Go

Hello to you. I hope today finds you well. It’s beginning to feel like Spring here. Blades of grass are peeking up and the birds are back singing their love songs. I went to church this morning- wasn’t sure my back would let me! I have been taking Aleve and using a roll on my Aunt gave me and that’s helping. I am happy to be fitting into my one pair of jeans! Progress!

Today’s message was out of Galatians 5. What stood out to me is how Pastor Jayson talked about our freedom. Our freedom makes many things permissible but we have to ask in the over all scheme of things is just doing whatever we want beneficial to us and the body of Christ we are a part of. When he talks about his own struggles with food I really can relate!

In a couple hours I’m going to be celebrating my Uncles birthday with family. I’ve decided to use this occasion to share my stuffed animal collection with the grandchildren. It’s been on my heart the past couple of weeks that it’s time for these things to go to a good home and be played with and not just take up storage space. Some of the collection is very sentimental stuff and I’m a little attached but it’s time to let go. Stuffed teddy bears and My Little Pony, for example, are great for young children. My cousin said it was ok to bring them over today so I am. They have a playroom designated for the littles when they come over and these new additions will get lots of use!

Galatians 5New International Version

Freedom in Christ

5 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Mark my words! I, Paul, tell you that if you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all. Again I declare to every man who lets himself be circumcised that he is obligated to obey the whole law. You who are trying to be justified by the law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. For through the Spirit we eagerly await by faith the righteousness for which we hope. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. “A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough.” 10 I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion, whoever that may be, will have to pay the penalty. 11 Brothers and sisters, if I am still preaching circumcision, why am I still being persecuted? In that case the offense of the cross has been abolished.12 As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves!

Life by the Spirit

13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love.14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”[b] 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever[c] you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

24 Jan 2025 Where To Turn

Hello to you. I hope you are well and if you’re not, and many people are not, I hope you have a good support system. Have you considered surrendering your life to Jesus? Lately I have been seeing so many people at a loss of where to turn when their lives are falling apart. I saw this a lot prior to the Tik Tok ban – people just didn’t know what to do! They made posts and just cried. When I saw these videos I just found myself asking, “do you believe in God? Have you talked to God about your problems?”

I am a relatively new Christian and prior to surrendering to Jesus I thought I had to carry the weight of the world on my own two shoulders. Thankfully when I reached my bottom with my mental health and my marriage God put people in my life to give me a soft place to land. I spent so many hours on the phone with my cousins wife Tawna! She thankfully had the time in her life that she could be there for the countless walk and talks on the phone. I spent time on the phone with much of my Idaho family – I walked miles talking to them. Things were so bad I couldn’t leave the house without having someone on the phone. I couldn’t eat a meal without someone on the phone. What was missing in all that drama was my being willing to turn to Jesus. They already believed in him and prayed for me and that gave them the spiritual strength to help me navigate the personal haunted hell I was living in. I just couldn’t see my own way out!

I surrendered to the Holy Spirit when I wanted to be free of alcoholism and it worked in a powerful way. Door after door opened and shut with that surrender. For some reason I didn’t do that in Texas. I guess I had been a pagan so long (12 years) that I didn’t think I could do it. I didn’t think I could turn myself completely to Jesus.

Right now I’m in the process of working with Jesus about my health and the answer is he is healing me in his time and way not mine. Some of what is going on with me will probably never change because there is no cure – just treatment and management. Jesus is showing me that. I just have to know where to turn when times get tough. Sometimes through prayer and reaching out Jesus uses the people in my life as his body to assist. That’s what we are all here for!

https://youtu.be/JMj1ggINLe4?si=W9Kt3RCeA8A0z1cm – The Chosen Jesus Heals at the Pool

John 5New English Translation

Healing a Paralytic at the Pool of Bethesda

5 After this[a] there was a Jewish feast,[b] and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. Now there is[c] in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate[d] a pool called Bethzatha[e] in Aramaic,[f] which has five covered walkways.[g] A great number of sick, blind, lame, and paralyzed people were lying in these walkways.[h] Now a man was there who had been disabled for thirty-eight years.[i] When Jesus saw him lying there and when he realized[j] that the man[k] had been disabled a long time already, he said to him, “Do you want to become well?” The sick man answered him, “Sir,[l] I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up. While I am trying to get into the water,[m] someone else[n] goes down there[o] before me.” Jesus said to him, “Stand up! Pick up your mat[p] and walk.” Immediately the man was healed,[q] and he picked up his mat[r] and started walking. (Now that day was a Sabbath.)[s]

19 Jan 2025 Being an Example

Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing well even though this world seems so crazy right now. Last night I experienced Tik Tok going dark and today it being back on. So nuts! A bunch of us went to an app called Favorite and others Clapper – so many their servers couldn’t handle it. Tomorrow Donald Trump will be sworn in and already things are changing and happening. I don’t know if I should be excited or scared!

I forced myself to go to church this morning. Some days it’s really hard for me! I’m always glad after I go it’s just the getting up and going. Today’s message came out of Colossians – all the things that Jesus is in the world. Pastor Jayson used clearing the windshield as an example of what Paul is doing in his writing. The past couple of Sundays and other gatherings have been trying to reach me – teach me. We are living testimonies of Jesus in the world and not meant to just be seat warmers on Sunday. We as Christians are meant to be examples of Jesus’s love in the world. Right now, as I look at my life, I feel like there is more I should be doing to be that example. Sometimes I feel the 12 years of being a pagan slipping in. I feel like my faith and practice is shallow- I feel almost like a fraud! There is work to be done and I’m reluctant to do it. I am going to a Bible study with my Aunt and go to a prayer meeting each Thursday and that helps.

Ever since I have been back on Depakote to treat my Bipolar symptoms – especially the mania- I don’t have deep feelings. My emotions don’t feel authentic. I used to feel things very deeply and now I don’t hardly have feelings at all! Depakote is one of the best medications for Bipolar but I hate what it has done to me as side effects! I still haven’t cried about my Dads passing over a year ago! It’s such a fragile balance between being “normal” and being too emotional – manic. What I’ve been going through is why many stop taking their meds. When I tell people I love them I don’t feel it like I used to. It feels like just words. How can I be an example of Jesus’s love in the world and be this way?! I feel like I am pretending and not authentically being. I am surrounded by such authentic Christians and I feel like I’m just trying to fit in! I have a tattoo of a chameleon on my right arm and it sometimes feels like I am such a being. I’m trying to fit in to a life that feels like I’m pretending sometimes.

I have been talking to Jesus about all of this. Last night we talked about how he is the only man in my life that will never leave me. Two marriages have ended because of my being Bipolar. I am going to be 57 this next month and the older I get the less likely it will be that I have another flesh and blood man in my life. The older I get the less I even want the complications of someone else’s life in mine! I just need to keep praying and remain open to where I am lead. I want to be a positive example of Christ in this world with the time I have left. I just want to feel it and not just go through the motions! May be by my sharing what I’m going through I am fulfilling Jesus’s purpose in my life. I can’t give up – I know that!

I hope my words in this message help someone besides just me!

Colossians 1:15-23New International Version

The Supremacy of the Son of God

15 The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19 For God was pleasedto have all his fullness dwell in him, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peacethrough his blood, shed on the cross.

21 Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of[a] your evil behavior. 22 But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— 23 if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.

8 Jan 2025 Long Life

What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life?

Hello to you! I hope this finds you well. My prayers are going out to a lot of places these days. The latest area is Southern California and the fires. I hope they get some rain soon!

My thoughts about today’s prompt are if I get to live a long life, there will be many more hello’s and goodbyes- at my current age of 56 there have already been many! I look at my Aunt who just turned 80 this past November. She has lost many friends to cancer and has held grandchildren and great grandchildren and more are on the way! She has had to say goodbye to family for various reasons to include old age and sickness. If I get to live as long as she has I wonder if I will be alone as it doesn’t look like there will be a new man in my life anytime soon! Part of me doesn’t want to get real old. I see the elderly around me in a constant state of repairs and pain. It’s like having a new car and the warranty runs out and you have to keep going to the shop to get something fixed! If I knew now when I was younger I would have been kinder to my body.

Here are some Bible verses from the New International Version (NIV) about healing:

  • Psalm 107:20: “He sent out his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave” 
  • Luke 8:50: “Hearing this, Jesus said to Jairus, ‘Don’t be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed'” 
  • Mark 5:34: “He said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering'” 
  • Isaiah 40:29: “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak” 
  • Psalm 147:3: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” 
  • Jeremiah 17:14: “Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise” 
  • Psalm 103:2-3: “Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases” 
  • Isaiah 53:5: “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed” 

6 Jan 2025 Different

What could you do differently?

Hello to you! Hope this finds you well. So much of the world seems to be in some sort of calamity. I sometimes feel guilty for having such a good life. May be God is giving me a break from calamities and drama!

Todays prompt is thought provoking. As I review my current life, I think I could be more active. I have been trying to lose weight and the scale is just not budging. I think that’s because cutting back how much I’m eating and what I’m eating is not enough. Part of the problem is the medication I’m on. Depakote is known for contributing to weight gain. I’ve been thinking about getting a treadmill or stationary bike to help me be more active. The only problem is I live in a very small home and would have to make room for these items. I walk Link once a day and have been thinking about starting to walk an additional lap after I get him around once. It’s been about 2 almost 3 years since I’ve been able to walk a lot like I used to. Something happened to my system when the police tased me! I haven’t been the same since. I really believe they short circuited my system. I have had to push through and some days it’s so hard. My Aunt and I talked about this yesterday. I want Jesus to heal me as there is no cure for what is going on with me. She made a prayer card for me – everything helps! I think of the episode of The Chosen where I think of when James asks Jesus why he hasn’t healed him :

https://youtu.be/KZDvcEkjthA?si=msC7Zhx91baeldiL– Why Haven’t You Healed me (The Chosen Scene)

I keep thinking he could heal me but for some reason he hasn’t. Is it like with James? Would I become like I was before surrendering myself to his care? Would I need him less? Is there something he wants to do through me just as I currently am? So many questions I have for him some day when I meet him face to face!