Tag: mental health

3 Dec 2024 Change

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Mental Health, photography, space, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. Today has been uneventful. I am feeling a little better after catching another cold. There was talk about something happening today with regard to space people but of course nothing happened! I am thinking something is brewing with the increase in sightings. I am thinking it has to do with the increasing unrest going on in the world – Sabre rattling about using nukes. If I was a space person watching all of what’s going on I think I would want to intervene too!

My answer to today’s prompt is if I could change one thing about myself I would not be Bipolar. Having this diagnosis has really limited me in so many ways. I have lost two marriages and many friendships and relationships with family. I lost a career because of this condition. The only good thing to ever come of being Bipolar was the wellspring of energy and creativity during the times I was manic. I would hardly sleep and my creative abilities seemed endless. I could draw, paint, sing, write, take awesome photos, dance, tap into the spiritual realms – all of this with little to no effort. Having the mania under control with the medication I’m on – Depakote- I can’t do much of anything anymore. This blog is my only outlet! In addition to Bipolar I have the Mal de barque syndrome where I have trouble with balance. I’m convinced it was triggered by my being tased by police when I was having a manic episode two years ago. It just won’t go away! So I guess there are actually two things I wish I could change!

Since I cannot change what I am, I have to push through with it all. I have to force myself to move forward even if I don’t want to. I pray a lot and ask for healing. I am trying to say yes more often when I would usually say no. One of the side affects of Depakote is weight gain and not feeling full after eating. With the balance challenges it’s hard to exercise to get rid of calories but I force myself to get a walk in with Link each day. I’m trying to lower my calorie count too. I am trying to say no more often to eating sweets which is my favorite type of food! Not all of what I am can be blamed on being Bipolar! I wish I could get back to size 16 jeans again. Obesity runs in my Dads side of the family so my genetics are kind of stacked against me along with my diagnosis.

Some scripture about change:

  • Ecclesiastes 3:1-2“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot”. 
  • Isaiah 43:18-19“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”. 
  • Psalm 30:5“Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”. 
  • Romans 8:28“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”. 
  • 2 Corinthians 5:17“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”. 
  • Hebrews 13:8“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”. 
  • Malachi 3:6“I the Lord do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed”. 
  • James 1:17“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows”. 
  • Ephesians 4:22-24“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness”. 

19 Nov 2024 Adversity

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you from the chilly yet sunny state of Idaho. I hope this finds you well – if not I hope you know you are loved and people you have never met are praying for you. I pray for the world and those who think they have no one who cares for them each day. With the latest headlines we are facing great uncertainty and as brothers and sisters need to keep eachother in prayer even more than ever!

This morning I went over to my Aunts house and road with her to meet with some ladies from the last Bible study we did. We tried to meet and have coffee at The Harvesters but it was practically standing room only! So we had a change of plans and went to the Bible study leaders home instead. We each talked about our stories – especially health. Each of us has experienced and continue to experience adversity. What we have in common is leaning on our faith in Jesus to face those trials. I have only recently started to refer to God, my Lord, my savior as Jesus Christ. Growing up Roman Catholic we weren’t really taught that. I only ever believed in God. Since moving here to Idaho I have turned my life, my soul, specifically to Jesus. What’s ironic about that is every single manic episode I’ve had has in some way involved Jesus! It’s refreshing to not be manic and have Jesus in my life.

Adversity strikes us all in one way or another. It is how and to whom we turn to that makes all the difference as we face those trials. In my not so distant past I often tried to face and figure how to navigate troubles on my own. Having a relationship with Christ has helped relieve the burden of life’s adversities and I don’t feel so alone. When I go to church on Sundays I feel so welcome and part of a family apart from my biological family.

Romans 5:3-5New International Version

3 Not only so, but we[a] also glory in our sufferings,because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

26 August 2024 Fall Feeling

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. It’s been awhile since I’ve written to you. Not much new has been going on here with me. I just got back from a walk around the block and it was cooler. It’s starting to feel like fall already! The sunset is earlier and the temperatures are dropping. I’m not complaining! The only thing I haven’t liked about fall is cleaning up the leaves from my neighbors trees. Since I had one of them cutback it shouldn’t be as bad this year.

Leaves crinkling and curling

Breezes cooling sending them swirling

The skies are filled with birds traveling south

The beauty of the sight evokes awe from my mouth

Ever since I’ve gotten back on Depakote my creativity has gone away. It’s the sacrifice I’ve had to make for sanity! I miss the good parts of the highs or mania. It seemed like I had endless energy, thoughts and ideas. I don’t miss not being able to sleep and the endless chatter of inhabiting spirits. I have been stabile for over a year now and I’m grateful. Now if I could just lose the weight I’ve gained and stop feeling like a weeble wobble in my head I’d be all set!

Psalm 92

It is good to praise the LORD and make music to your name, O Most High,

proclaiming your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night,

to the music of the ten-stringed lyre and the melody of the harp.

For you make me glad by your deeds, LORD; I sing for joy at what your hands have done.

How great are your works, LORD, how profound your thoughts! (verses 1-5)

2 April 2024 Switch

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I’m experiencing a little frustration about my experience with the VA. I just found out I’m losing my counselor in a couple months- same thing happened with my psychiatrist! It keeps happening! They are interns that graduate and move on and then a new doctor switches in. It’s frustrating because I have to keep starting over! The positive thing is may be a new perspective will be helpful – I will just have to see.

2 Corinthians 5:17New International Version

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here!

27 March 2024 Understand

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What is hard for people to understand? I would say mental illness. When someone has a broken bone you see a cast and know what’s going on that isn’t the case with a broken mind. A person can look and seem perfectly “normal” and then out of the blue due something erratic and out of character. This is the way of suicides and murder. The “why” question is so prevalent in these cases.

Proverbs 2:3-6New International Version

3 indeed, if you call out for insight
    and cry aloud for understanding,
4 and if you look for it as for silver
    and search for it as for hidden treasure,
5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord
    and find the knowledge of God.
6 For the Lord gives wisdom;
    from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

22 Feb 2024 Boredom

by saymber, posted in Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What bores you?

I would have to say nothing really bores me right now. I am in a in between time in my life and gradually my days are beginning to fill up with interesting moments. Being medically retired at such an early age I am learning from my Aunts age group about retirement (70’s).

He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age” (Ruth 4:15 NIV).

“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you” (Isaiah 46:4 NIV).

4 Feb 2024 Time

by saymber, posted in animals, history, Home, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?

In my experience the best healer of the wounds of life is time. The further I get along beyond a significant event that has happened the less it hurts. There is no cure for grief but time. My cocker spaniel Sam taught me this after his passing. It took 3 years and getting another dog to get some relief from my grief over Sam’s passing. When we lost Sam we realized nothing of this world could fill the void inside- no food, no drink, no material possessions could heal the pain.

James 4:14New International Version

14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

7 Dec 2023 Positive

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What positive events have taken place in your life over the past year?

I would have to say the most positive event that has happened this past year is joining a prayer team at church. We have built a wonderful support system that we pray over the church and pray over eachother. Having this support system has been helping me get through some challenges I have been facing this year. Having this group has encouraged me to get more into the Bible.

The other positive events were spending the holidays with family like my first Thanksgiving with my cousin. There is a lot of family here!

Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

27 Nov 2023 Dream

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, dreams, Home, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

This morning I had a dream with my Aunt and my Dad in it. It’s the first dream I’ve had with my Dad since his passing. I was so happy to see him. From what I’ve learned from watching mediums like Matt Fraser, our loved ones reach us through dreams. I don’t remember specifically what the dream was about as it happened just for a few seconds before my alarm went off that I forgot I set. I hope there will be more dreams like that in the future. Love seeing my Dad healthy and strong!

Acts 2:17New International Version

17 “‘In the last days, God says,
I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
your young men will see visions,
your old men will dream dreams.

25 Nov 2023 Mountains

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Beach or mountains? Which do you prefer? Why?

I have lived near and visited mountains and they are so beautiful. My memories of living in Colorado Springs and going hiking and fishing on lakes on Pikes Peak are some of my fondest memories. I can remember falling asleep there too. One time I woke up to a hummingbird flittering around a red hat I was wearing. I liked the sound of Aspen tree leaves blowing in the wind. When we were in Europe there were mountains too – in Austria in particular. Gorgeous! Where I live now there are mountains – they look pretty when it snows.

Psalms 121:1-8 NIV

I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.