Hello to you. How are you in your today? I hope well. Last night I went to the Bible study and had a good discussion with the ladies there. I have been having trouble with the devotional we are using. I know it’s not the intention of it to disempower women but some of it comes across that way. I feel like loving ourselves is kind of under scrutiny. I was raised Catholic and I’m attending a Christian church. When I was attending Catholic Church services I feel like the emphasis was on God and not so much Jesus. To me Jesus’s messages is the best part of the Bible. Lately the messages I’m getting is about loving God and others as we should love ourselves but some of us don’t love ourselves. I feel like as Christians we get beat up a little for loving ourselves – for seeking wisdom from inside versus all external in relationship with God/Jesus. I know we are all sinners but I don’t like getting beat up about it. I don’t like being told that no matter what I do I am not good enough. This is where belief in Jesus becomes a focal point. If we are good enough we don’t need Jesus. Anyhew I’m struggling a little bit because I have and know those who have had low self esteem and have turned to God with it and it didn’t help. Sometimes it makes it worse! So keep me in your prayers as I keep you in mine.
Tag: mental health
7 February 2023 Vitamin D and Comfort Zones
Hello to you. How are you today? Link and I are getting some vitamin D. The past couple days it’s been really nice outside so we’ve been taking advantage of it.
I decided to join a Bible study starting tonight and they are using the devotional Beauty not Beheld. This is out of my comfort zone but I decided to give it a try anyways. I have been wanting to make friends and get out of the house more and it seems like church activities is a way to do both. I find spiritual activities with women is more about relationship than religion. I feel like that is what I have with Jesus…..God.
25 January 2023 Hearing
Hello to you. How are you? Yesterday I had an audiology appt and unfortunately it didn’t include diagnosing Mal de barque syndrome. The tester was aware of the condition but wasn’t able to diagnose it with her tests. She recommended I see a neurologist. My hearing was ok which was good. I have an appt Monday with my primary care doctor so we will discuss the audiology appt results and recommendations. I am hoping a referral to neurology will be possible. Apparently it’s hard to get an appt.
I am trying to stay positive through this process. There is a part of me that struggles to stay actively engaged in what’s happening. I am not thrilled about being in the “system.” I was trying to avoid this but it seems I cannot avoid it any longer.
19 January 2023 The Chap
Hello to you. How are you today? Yesterday I had a nice visit with my cousin. She wanted to go out to lunch so we tried a place I hadn’t been to before here in town called The Chap Wine and Tap. They had a very small menu of burgers and what we ordered was really good. She got French fries and I got onion rings. It was a nice place to go and looked like a men’s group was meeting there. After lunch we went and got groceries. I had vertigo, spinning sensations off and on so I appreciated the company and help.
Today is my other cousins birthday- she’s in Arizona celebrating. Happy Birthday Laura!
17 January 2023 First Session
Hello to you. How are you today? Today I had my first online session with a therapist through better help.com. I was surprised that he was deaf so it was kind of hard to understand him at times but I think we connected. He taught me a anxiety grounding technique 3 2 1. Three things you can see, two things you can touch or smell, one thing you can hear. It’s a way to ground yourself when your having a panic attack. I shared this video with him that helps me a lot: https://youtu.be/pJWY3Bkkaew – Relax For Awhile Anxiety Attack Talkdown
Today we have sunshine which is great! I really feel bad for those people in California that are dealing with flooding and rains right now.
14 January 2023 Passages
Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. The message from A Woman’s Spirit for today resonated – May be it will resonate with you as well:
We are not unlike a particularly hardy crustacean……with each passage from one stage of human growth to the next, we too, must shed a protective structure. – Gail Sherry
Our passage into a new stage of development was initiated by our desire to stop using chemicals. The values we lived by while using chemicals no longer got us. We need to shed our old skin and grow a new one that reflects our current world view.
We are now, and always will be, in the stage of becoming, of trying to fulfill our changing dreams and aspirations. What we can accomplish at one stage of life is different from what we can handle at another. And yet an overall design is being shaped by all our endeavors. The more willing we are to shed yet another skin, the more centered, stable, and spirit-filled we’ll become.
Do my actions fit my values ? As I outgrow my values, I will release them. I we I’ll relish my growth today and celebrate my new skin.
9 January 2023 New Year
Hello there. How are you? I hope your new year is off to a great start. Can you believe it’s the 9th already?!
I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions as I probably won’t keep them lol. What I do want is a positive year so let’s hope for that.
27 December 2022 Quiet World
Hello to you. How are you? I hope this finds you well. I just went and got groceries – not my favorite chore. When I bent down to a lower shelf to get some chicken soup I lost my balance and fell. Very embarrassing! I am too heavy and need to lose weight.
Today I’m thinking about how quiet my world is compared to when I was manic and was connected to the spirit world. I miss my friends – the benevolent spirits that kept me company. I was never alone or lonely when they were with me. Another side effect of the medication in addition to losing a lot of hair. My hair is really brittle and whenever I brush it a bunch comes out . This happened with Depakote before.
Quiet mind vacant drifts the waves fall on blank and porous shores.
16 December 2022 Asking for Help
Hello to you. How are you today? Today my thoughts turn to something that has never been easy for me to do and that is asking for help. I’ve always been self reliant and independent but since I’ve moved here to Idaho and the health issues that have cropped up I have been having to ask for help and thanks be to God it’s been there!
What is it that keeps us from wanting to ask for help? Pride? Fear of making debts we may not be able to repay? Lately I’ve been asking Jesus for his help a lot. I’m hoping for some miracle that only he can deliver in regards to my health. May be that’s why I’m going through this at all – so that I might get closer to him. Not try and rely on my own strength and understanding. That’s what it seems like anyways.
I’m grateful for my family here helping me get through what I’m going through. They are extensions of Jesus in my life.
14 December 2022 Little Coffee Pot
Hello to you. How are you? This morning I ventured out early to get groceries because I needed to buy some coffee for the new little coffee pot my Aunt bought for me. She found a little 5 cup at Savers and thought of me. During my manic episode my coffee pot was one of the casualties.
To be 