Tag: God

21 December 2021 Feeling Like A Scrambled Egg

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Music, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello….how are you? Hopefully this finds you doing well. I wish I could say everything is ok with me but I’m feeling a little scrambled eggs today. It will pass it always does.

Like my therapist and I talked about yesterday, I’m just not comfortable in my own skin. She shared with me about eneagrams, personality types and played this song for me: https://youth.be/-sO2UMoOaFQ – Sleeping At Last. It’s a song for type 1 personalities and if you cry while listening to it, chances are that’s your personality type. I cried. What came to me at first when I heard it is feeling like I wasn’t enough for my ex husband…..I miss him so much every day. What also came to me is I’m enough for God. With all my flaws and weaknesses….all the ways I have failed I know that no matter what God loves me. God has been there when I have been at my best….at my worst. What I told my therapist is I want God to have hands I can hold. A face I can touch. Arms to hold me. Sadly it just doesn’t work that way. The place I get to feel God is when we are close and my heart gets that glowing warmth. God is the very air we breathe….too big to be contained in a body!

I’m trying to snap myself out of “this” and get on with my day. May be some shirt painting will help ?! I’m wearing the shirt I did last night – pretty happy with it.

As always thank you reader for going on this journey with me!

19 December 2021 Exchanging Stories

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Home, In the News, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! It’s Sunday morning as I write to you. I had to kick myself out of bed! It’s gray and no sunshine!! Booo!! I’m looking forward to seeing family today – we’ll make our own sunshine!!

Last night I had a good session on Twitch. I met a young man from the Philippines who had a cold and just wanted to chat. He mentioned that the southern part of his country was being ravaged by a super typhoon called Rai: https://www.accuweather.com/en/hurricane/super-typhoon-rai-hits-philippines-like-a-freight-train/1061450/amp he is fortunate to be living in the north! We swapped spooky stories. His was of being in his parents room and seeing feet in his sisters room. He didn’t investigate whose feet they were until he went downstairs and his whole family was there! When he went back up they were gone! A little later another person came on who is working towards being a psych nurse and I shared a bit of my story with him. I’ve been in the mental health system since 1991 so a person like me has a lot of stories! It was fun talking to them,

Cube for the day

I decided to start a Discord channel after all. We will see how it goes. I’m not real savvy on how it works but giving it a try. A friend of mine asked me the other night what my goal with all this is and it’s pretty simple – to reach people who are going through stuff I’ve been through and help them not feel so alone in this world. There are 7.9 billion people on this planet and yet there are times it can feel like there is no one. Some of us slip through the cracks . I feel that way sometimes even though I have family and friends. Sometimes there are things you can’t talk about with just anyone. They don’t always understand. The other part of this journey I’m taking with Twitch is I love meeting new people and hearing their stories .

God has a plan in all that is happening in my life. I just have to keep taking the next steps!

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

https://discord.gg/uG7wQJmx

10 December 2021 To Friend

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging
“To friend” – I found this under my cars windshield wiper today! It made my whole day !

Sometimes God winks at you when you least expect it. I was doing a live stream today and went out to the front porch. I looked at my car and noticed this envelope under my cars windshield wiper! I had just kind of said I didn’t really know my neighbors here! Marlene is one of the first people I met moving in here. She walks her sweet dog everyday and always stops and says hello. She is the kind of person that doesn’t know a stranger. Her simple gesture, this act of kindness reminded me that I am not without friends here in Middleton.

This passage came to mind :

Matthew 25:40-45New International Version

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’(A)

Twitch channel: jwygant

7 December 2021 Focus On What You Want

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! How are you? I’m having a late start to the day. I just didn’t want to get up! I’m experiencing minor depression – just part of being bipolar and also the weather…SAD. Bad combo!

This morning I’m reminded of something I learned a long time ago. Focus on what you want not what you don’t. What you focus on gains power. For example I have started and restarted this very blog post like 3 or 4 times today. The previous attempts were all focusing and giving power to what I don’t want in my life. My complaints. My aches and pains. Getting old. I don’t want to give power to what ails me…..I want to give thanks for what doesn’t cause me to suffer. That’s not to say I want to lie to myself and not acknowledge that negatives exist, they do. I just don’t want them to rule my life!

Pulls out the mental gratitude list:

God, Link, home, food, clothing, working washer and dryer, good phone, internet, reliable power, water, working car, family, friends, quiet neighborhood, healthy body and healthy spirit.

The list usually grows when you start with one thing! If you can get to gratitude your on your way . Yesterday Soul Angel and Energy Healing shared this on their post and I want to pass it along to you. I am always asking God about my purpose in life! According to this I am living my purpose each time I follow my heart:

Fb post Soul Angel and Energy Healing

4 December 2021 The Beatitudes

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you ? It’s a gray, foggy and overcast day. I’m trying to keep my spirits up. This morning the message comes from Matthew 5 – the beatitudes. One of my favorite passages in the Bible :

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+5&version=NIV&interface=amp

I like to read things out loud but most everything is copywrited! I don’t have to worry about getting in trouble for that with the Bible! To me this passage is a power ballad. It’s one of those things you read to right yourself when everything seems to be going wrong!

I know not everyone who visits me here is a Christian. I would ask you to focus on the message not religion. I myself do that. There is something for you if you need it today. Are you mourning? Are you meek? Have you been insulted because of your beliefs?

Thank you for time out of your busy day to visit my blog. Writing really helps me with where I’m at in my life right now .

1 December 2021 Morning

by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out Morning coffee with Jackie 1 December 2021 https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1221118106

Good morning to you from here I hope this finds you well. How are you?

A lot going on in my drawing today. There is a plan unfolding I just have to keep taking the next steps! Metatron’s cube is large and in charge.

Not sure what the plan is for today. I managed to navigate my way through Ridleys this morning and got groceries. I miss having Kyle go and get them. He was such a great shopper. I picked up some Christmas cards so I could work on those we shall see!

“Everywhere I go I hope to see you. So many faces in new places. I look at each one and find only pieces of you.”

I had to do a couple takes on the video today. It’s all impromptu….hopefully if you can watch it there will be something for you. Sometimes it’s nice to have company.

30 November 2021 Good morning

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out this video Morning coffee with Jackie 30 November 2021 https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1220155075

Good morning to you! How are you? This morning the psalm 49 really resonated with me. I tried to copy and paste it here but I can’t for some reason. Here is Link if you would like to read it:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+49&version=NIV&interface=amp

—————–

In today’s world it seems like so many aspire for wealth and fame. The fundamental truth is you can’t take it with you and from watching the mainstream wealthy, it seems like enough is never enough. I wonder if many of the ultra wealthy have God in their lives….I hope so. For me personally, I just want to be able to pay my bills, bless my family and be comfortable. I don’t need much. If I was ever to become famous and wealthy I would have to have ways to give it back … pay it forward. I would hire people that would make sure I was doing that! Honoring Gods blessing of my life would have to be at the top of the list….leave a legacy to be blessed by!

My life with money right now is a weird one. Since I am on my own and am on a fixed income I am kind of afraid to spend money sometimes. With the sale of our home in Texas I got a nice chunk of change but I feel like I have to hold on to that money “just in case.” I used to be really generous but these past couple of years I’ve been stingy. The world feels so uncertain at times! Ugh!!! Lol.

I hope something resonated here today. I hope you have a great day.

29 November 2021 Good Morning

by saymber, posted in animals, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out this video Morning coffee with Jackie 29 November 2021 https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1219285881

Hi there. This morning I had the privilege of chatting with an old friend and it just made my whole day! She is the only friend I still have from my military days. I’m so blessed to have her!

I was chatting to myself and she popped up. I have a follower!! It was so exciting to see that this morning! I was starting to question myself!

In awhile I have my therapist appointment and I’m looking forward to that. Lots to talk about! I AM HOME…..yes! My friend reiterated that message too. Be at home in your own skin before you bring somebody else into your life. I’m sure God has a plan in all the little pieces that are floating about me right now….fragments of time.

I hope this finds you well today. What are you grateful for? I’m grateful to have been able to reconnect with my friend. I’m grateful for my new friend and my family…my sweet Link. I’m grateful for me still getting to be on this plane of existence. Even if you are really having trouble I hope you can find something to be grateful for!

Drawing for today:

This is my drawing processing my healing session yesterday .

28 November 2021 Sunday

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out this video Morning Coffee With Jackie 28 November 2021 https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1218405193

Good morning from here. How are you? The video today is about 22 minutes if you have the time! Hopefully something will resonate with you. I felt called to read Psalm 27. I feel like no matter what your walk of the spirit that the Psalms are a neutral ground:

Psalm 27

Of David.

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strongholdof my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid?

——————

I’m getting together with my friend today for some Pranic healing which should be interesting . I’ve never heard of it before!

I decided to close the door on having my own Meetup group. The people I wanted to reach just didn’t express interest. I don’t think a lot of people even know Meetup exists. I checked into Facebook and that was nice – it was good to reconnect with family and friends there.

Anyhew thank you for spending some time with me today!

19 November 2021 In the Middle

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello. I’m writing to you from a place in the middle. I’m bored out of my fucking mind….just waiting for the “next thing” to happen. This is me talking to God in words. I don’t know if it will make sense.

“I walk the margins to avoid the shattered glass. I grasp at this and that feeding the ever expanding me. I can’t escape me no matter how hard I try. This shiny and that shiny a fleeting glimmer in the expanding and contracting black holes at the center of my eyes…..more there must be more than this! Is this the best you have to offer?!! Be still you tell me. The silence in stillness is maddening what’s next?! I scream inside…..I walk and let out silent screams. Can you hear me?! I walk on the shattered glass now just so I’ll feel the margins….feel anything but this endless middle place between now and then. It’s never enough. I’m perpetually hungry from my stomach to my soul. God What will you do with this vibrating slab of me? You have stripped me down to echoes. What am I undirected and left to my own devices? An automaton waiting for some unseen hand to activate me? Always waiting for someone or something to inspire movement ? I used to have thoughts of my own. A will of my own . God where have I gone?”