Good morning to you from here I hope this finds you well. How are you?
A lot going on in my drawing today. There is a plan unfolding I just have to keep taking the next steps! Metatron’s cube is large and in charge.
Not sure what the plan is for today. I managed to navigate my way through Ridleys this morning and got groceries. I miss having Kyle go and get them. He was such a great shopper. I picked up some Christmas cards so I could work on those we shall see!
“Everywhere I go I hope to see you. So many faces in new places. I look at each one and find only pieces of you.”
I had to do a couple takes on the video today. It’s all impromptu….hopefully if you can watch it there will be something for you. Sometimes it’s nice to have company.
10 So do not fear,(A) for I am with you;(B) do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen(C) you and help(D) you; I will uphold you(E) with my righteous right hand.(F)
So the Saturday has begun. I have had coffee. I have two happy dogs. I have sunshine. Later on today I am going with my new friend to a place in a town nearby called Meridian. It’s called The Village. The Village is like a real high end Mall but it’s out in the open. They have it all decorated for Christmas so that will be fun to see. May be it will get me in the spirit.
A lot of stuff is going on in my world but it is all part of a plan
Hello to you. How are you? I’m sitting here with my coffee and Link….so grateful to write to you today! Even though it’s overcast and gray there is light inside. Sometimes you have to generate light for yourself even if you are surrounded by darkness.
Progress not perfection…….baby steps. Last night my friend reminded me how far I’ve come in just a short time. We went from buying an insect ridden drum, starting a Meetup Group, going to a Meetup Group and ended up making a friend and then starting to drive more all in just a couple of months! Gradually a life is unfolding for me here.
I attribute my progress to God, my family and friends. I asked God….I continue to ask God and I continue to be heard. This passage speaks to me of the times I didn’t ask and tried to do it on my own:
James 4:2New International Version
2 You desire but do not have, so you kill.(A) You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.
The way things are right now. Sometimes it’s confusing to know which door to walk through next. I have help. If it ain’t light (in my chest) it ain’t right!
Good day to you. I want to open this post today with the scene from the movie about Temple Grandin it brought tears to my eyes this morning: https://youtu.be/48V1GRrwhd8
I have to change my perception of the world I live in or I’m going to stay stuck!
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. “ Joshua 1:9
New worlds behind every door.
Some doors you cannot see. The door I have to get more courage to walk through is the door within myself. Like I told my therapist this week I feel like I’m sitting on my couch with Link and my phone white knuckling it through my life. I’m afraid to live and life keeps passing me by.
People will make suggestions about what I should or could do and I discount them with one excuse or another. Nothing fits right. At my core I’m still grieving my losses. Last night I watched a rebroadcast of a sermon by Steven Furtick and what he said really resonated, stop crying the best is yet to come: https://youtu.be/SmhH89V_1h0.
“What door God is meant for me? How many doors must I open to find a place for me?”
A salute to my fellow Veterans today is Veterans Day.
Hello. How are you? Did you “fall back?” It’s that time of year again where we get the hour we lost in the spring back. Even though it’s just an hour I still feel it!
Do you ever feel like your just an observer of your life not a participant? I am kind of feeling that way today. I’m having trouble being comfortable in my own skin.
Sometimes life feels heavy
I tried watching online church services today and just couldn’t stay focused. God will reach me somehow!
Hello! How are you? I’m doing pretty good. Last night I had my very first Zoom meeting on Meetup. The group was called Crystal Empowerment. There were four of us and we had a nice visit learning about how you can use crystals in healing. We were able to share some of our crystals and I got to make a plug for my Meetup Group. A couple of the people even had drums! Athena, the organizer for the meeting, has a shop in Boise here is her website: https://www.crystalempowerment.com/
So today is Halloween and I’m having lots of mixed emotions about celebrating it alone. There is a part of me eager to don my top hat and steampunk goggles. There is equally a part of me that wants to say screw it and hide inside! As we get closer to trick-or-treat time we shall see which side wins!
Last May was a very creative time for me
What is Gods plan for me as we move so quickly through the last months of the year? It always feels like the fast forward button gets pushed from Halloween on into New Years. I will need to be vigilant! I’m feeling like there is much good to come….healing and growing.
Hello to you . How are you today? It’s a sunny start to the day. It feels so nice! I am doing ok today. I’m thinking about Halloween. I bought a couple small bags of Snickers to pass out and am thinking about wearing my steampunk hat and goggles! I am having to break through my grief. Halloween was our favorite holiday.
I did this last May
Who am now? So much of my identity was plural! It was Kyle and Jackie not just Jackie. I am having to find out who I am now. Yesterday I deleted my Tinder (dating app) account because I realized I have no business being there. Like I talked about in my previous blog. I am walking around carrying a bag full of holes!
“Gradually, carefully God unravels the mystery that is a life. Be it mother, sister, friend or wife. Previously curtained paths do a slight reveal. A joy is found that no one can steal.”
Hello . How are you? It’s an overcast day. The sun is playing peek-a-boo with roaming clouds. Link is here. I am so grateful for him and his company !
“Where are you twin star in all this cosmic dust?”
My little drum
For some reason I’m having trouble writing today. My life is in a sort of stasis right now. Everything is in place but isn’t moving. I feel like God is testing my resolve! I am having to be patient!
“I have to remember there are many pieces to move for a single moment! “
Good morning – least that’s what it is here. How are you? I’m sitting here with a cold cup of coffee thinking about the word that came to me on the morning walk. It was patience.
“Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience. “ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Patience has never been one of my strong suites! Especially when it comes to waiting for God. I will talk to God about something and more times than not expect an answer right away and that’s just not how things work . There are so many pieces that have to move to answer a prayer! Like for instance what I have been talking about with starting a meetup group in my town. Even if I pay the money to start the group there is no guarantee people will just magically appear! It could take months or even more before even one person signs up. How much patience do I have? I’m not sure if people in my town even know Meetup exists! Will anyone here want to play a drum?
All I can do is try!
Will anyone join me ?
“Little drummer girl blowing in the wind, where does this journey end when it has yet to begin? Take your drum and play a beat trust in God new souls to meet. The lonely days will soon pass away for just how long only you can say. Be patient drummer girl your on the path to new days. You will soon be shoulder to shoulder where everybody plays .”
Hello! How are you today? I didn’t want to get out of bed this morning. It’s real windy here. The clouds are playing with the leaves. It’s really quite magical to watch.
“When someone tells you to “find your niche,” they mean you should find the very specific activity or position that sets you apart and in which you can find success or fulfillment. … Much less commonly, niche can be used as a verb meaning to place something in this kind of niche.”
When I asked what I should write about this word came to mind. Lately I’ve been watching a lot of YouTube videos on how to make things . What I’ve noticed is when a particular video gets a lot of views there will be a bunch of other people who come behind trying to do the exact same thing. You see this in our economy too. It’s not enough that Crayola makes chalk and writing instruments. A bunch of other companies have to make them too and usually on the cheap.
“To each there is a message and a messenger.”
My niche has always been drawing and writing. Both over saturated worlds. I have been doing these things ever since I was like 4 of 5 years old when I would write short stories for my classmates. I used to spend hours drawing portraits and writing poems. Sadly in many ways I have regressed in my niche. I’m not as good as I should be by this stage of my life. I think it’s because I have never done what I do for a living. Nothing or no one has pushed me to be better.
I think we are all looking for our niche. Where do I belong? How do I fit into this complex puzzle of existence? Some people actually find it and lead fulfilled lives and others of us keep puttering along trying to find it. I believe a lot of people never find their niche or find it but haven’t the ways and means to break through and be seen. There are some who are seen and can’t handle what breaking through entails. There is a loss of self. There is a loss of the purity of why the niche began in the first place. From my own personal experience, money can taint a niche.
I am hoping, God willing, that I always will have my mental and physical faculties to be able to write and draw. Even if I reach just one other person I’ve accomplished something. It is validation enough that my particular flavor of niche is worth something. You will laugh but some days the only person reached is my own self! “What the hell is she going on about today?!!”
To be 