Tag: Bipolar life

16 December 2021 Snow

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, photography, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you today? I woke up to us getting a bit of snow. It is already starting to melt.

Just a little snow

As I sit here with my coffee, I am trying to think of what I want to do today. I am feeling kind of stuck. Drawing helps but I’m so quick about it. As soon as I get started I’m already finished. I love drawing Metatron’s cube! When I draw it I am soothed in my brain. I like choosing different colors for each one. I like that I free hand them – that they aren’t perfect each time. Each one is for a different somebody. I was doing that with my outdoor chalk this summer.

Drawing for today
Sun trying to peek through

Why do I always feel like I have to be DOING something? Why can’t I just be still? I guess idleness wasn’t something I was raised with. There were always chores when I was growing up and then of course once I got into the military I was always busy – too busy sometimes. There needs to be balance in the busy ! Balance in the idleness. There is too much idleness in my life right now. Gradually I am finding my way. For me idleness is close to usefulness…..I want to feel useful again.

I hope this finds you well!

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

15 December 2021 Attention Span

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Social media, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! How are you doing today? I’m just out of bed. I had trouble sleeping again last night. It’s becoming a new normal and I don’t like it! It’s gray and cold….where is our sunshine ?!!! Guess I will have to generate my own light today!!

This morning my thoughts turn to something I’ve noticed about me as I have been immersing myself into the world of the look and swipe. I’ve noticed my attention span has gotten really short. If you can’t get your point across or entertain me quickly I’m already moved on to the next thing. I haven’t had the presence of mind to read a book in months. It just takes more concentration than I seem to be able to muster right now. There is a part of me that is hoping for positive change to come into my life so that I’m not so dependent on external devices.

Link and I are so tiny in the scheme of things. What is our part?

“Gears turning as worlds are burning. Rise and fall the big and small. Into the spiral we come and go. Faster and faster is the flow. Where we go next no one can know. Shine future children shine gradually all things will align.”

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

12 December 2021 Full Life

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. It’s Sunday as I write to you. Listening to Astravert on Twitch doing another one of his awesome improv jams. His music is great to write to. I highly recommend checking him out.

So last night I had my longest stream ever – just over 2 hours! I got to talk to an EMT who has lived so much life for his 25 years of life. He served in the French military for 6 years as a medic and apparently experienced some pretty rough stuff. He lives with his 5 year old German Shepard. He ultimately would like to be a Family Practice doctor with a pilots license – he’s working on getting his pilots license! This young man just amazed me with how much life he’s lived and all that he wants to accomplish. These are some of the people I’m meeting by reaching out on Twitch. That stream got the most views I’ve ever gotten – 28 so far! We talked about movies and also about spirituality. I love talking about matters of the spirit with open minded people. What an honor to talk to one our worlds real super hero’s. EMTs are on the front line in our world. He works in Washington DC so you know he’s probably seen more than his share of trauma. He says it can really wear on him. He talked about getting a call for a suicide and they were too late! It was especially hard as he had lost a brother to suicide. Like I said , I was truly honored to have a visit with such a person!

So many stories to tell! That’s what I’m seeing manifest for my channel . I want to hear other peoples stories and share mine too. Each one of us is a living novel – each day a fresh page.

My prayers go out to all those who recently went through the horrific tornadoes. I kind of stay away from the news but did see that. One of the worst hit was Kentucky.

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

11 December 2021 Cold Saturday

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you doing today? It’s Saturday afternoon as I write. I just got back from forcing myself out to get groceries. I was going to do it tomorrow but changed my mind . I’m glad I did! I got to see a really nice looking man lol ! Im so down for men with long hair. No I didn’t get his number! Ridleys is still remodeling but I think they are getting closer to being done.

There is supposed to be a Christmas parade in a couple hours. Im not sure I want to stand out in the cold for it!

Last night I did a stream on Twitch and met a couple fellows from England. I was really thrilled about that. They wanted some advice about women lol. I did my best. What is happening is I have been getting on and just talking and viewers pop in. It was cool to have viewers that actually wanted to chat – makes it more fun than sitting and talking to myself! I don’t know where this is going but I’m just going with it ! God has a plan. My therapist suggesting my exploring it was a great idea.

“We are all just strangers on a journey to friendship.”

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

10 December 2021 To Friend

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging
“To friend” – I found this under my cars windshield wiper today! It made my whole day !

Sometimes God winks at you when you least expect it. I was doing a live stream today and went out to the front porch. I looked at my car and noticed this envelope under my cars windshield wiper! I had just kind of said I didn’t really know my neighbors here! Marlene is one of the first people I met moving in here. She walks her sweet dog everyday and always stops and says hello. She is the kind of person that doesn’t know a stranger. Her simple gesture, this act of kindness reminded me that I am not without friends here in Middleton.

This passage came to mind :

Matthew 25:40-45New International Version

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’(A)

Twitch channel: jwygant

10 December 2021 Progress Not Perfection

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Home, Mental Health, Social media, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging
No plans today

Hello to you. How are you doing today? Link and I got out of bed late today. I just didn’t want to get up. My sleep patterns are all messed up for some reason. I was up til after 12 last night . I wonder if it’s because I watch stuff on my phone so late .

Last night I was on Twitch doing some self therapy and actually got a viewer that wasn’t my family or a friend! He was a young man from the desert and he was just needing someone to talk to about loss. He expressed feeling trapped in his life. So young to have these feelings but I truly understand it. What happened last night is exactly why I’m continuing on with the channel. Even to reach one or two people and help them not feel alone with what they are going through is reason enough. I asked him how he found my channel and he said he searched under the word depression. I’m up to 4 followers now! Progress!

I don’t have any plans today. I need to do some adulting like getting groceries but I don’t want to. I think I will go tomorrow. The leaves I raked up are covered with snow from last night – so much for that project !! The sun through my front windows feels good. May be later Link and I will get a walk in.

“I hope you know that you are one of a kind, cast in flesh with love in mind. In all creation there is just one precious you…..with this knowledge I wonder what will you do?”

Twitch channel: jwygant

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9 December 2021 Links Birthday

by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Home, Mental Health, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging
“Today is my birthday I’m 7!”

Hello to you from here…how are you?! Today we are celebrating Links 7th birthday. There is even sunshine which feels so nice ! He likes sunning himself by the front door.

“Little sun beam thank you for your light. Your loving presence shines in my heart both day and night. Today we celebrate everything that is you……my precious little baby boo.”

Hello !

I can feel today is one of those “push” days. I didn’t get to sleep til after 2 am. Just not firing on all cylinders. Thank God for Link. He gives me a reason to get up each day!

8 December 2021 Wednesday In The Clouds

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Home, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you? The sun is trying to peek through the clouds- even a little bit of sunlight helps.

The sun is trying to peek through the clouds!

No plans for today. My mind is drifting like the clouds in sky….. not sure where to land. I’ve been thinking about painting again. Just have to make the commitment and buy the stuff! What I’m worried about is that I will rush things and be left with a bunch of shitty paintings not even I want lol! That has happened before! I will see how things go with the colored pens first I think.

Not sure what’s going on in this one

“We are all just travelers riding the waves of time.”

7 December 2021 Focus On What You Want

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! How are you? I’m having a late start to the day. I just didn’t want to get up! I’m experiencing minor depression – just part of being bipolar and also the weather…SAD. Bad combo!

This morning I’m reminded of something I learned a long time ago. Focus on what you want not what you don’t. What you focus on gains power. For example I have started and restarted this very blog post like 3 or 4 times today. The previous attempts were all focusing and giving power to what I don’t want in my life. My complaints. My aches and pains. Getting old. I don’t want to give power to what ails me…..I want to give thanks for what doesn’t cause me to suffer. That’s not to say I want to lie to myself and not acknowledge that negatives exist, they do. I just don’t want them to rule my life!

Pulls out the mental gratitude list:

God, Link, home, food, clothing, working washer and dryer, good phone, internet, reliable power, water, working car, family, friends, quiet neighborhood, healthy body and healthy spirit.

The list usually grows when you start with one thing! If you can get to gratitude your on your way . Yesterday Soul Angel and Energy Healing shared this on their post and I want to pass it along to you. I am always asking God about my purpose in life! According to this I am living my purpose each time I follow my heart:

Fb post Soul Angel and Energy Healing