Category: Writing and blogging

6 Oct 2025 Safety in Sharing

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I’m just back from a cool walk around the block. It’s really starting to feel and look like fall. Yesterday my Aunt and Uncle had me over for some cozy beef stew and a new episode of one of our favorite Britbox shows Sister Boniface. It was kind of sad as it seems like the show may be ending by how the episode ended.

The topic today is because I have finally, after many years, started putting to words my experiences as a Bipolar person. Specifically what has happened to me through manic episodes. I had started on it a year ago and picked it back up yesterday. It was like my brain just was dumping all kinds of memories. I could probably write a book there is so much! Anyhew I was talking about this thing I’m doing with my dear friend Tawna and she was wondering what I was going to do with it. I said I wanted to share it in my blog and she expressed concern. She suggested that may be I should get an impartial party to read it first – for safety’s sake. I just don’t know who. She suggested somebody like my Pastor Jason but he’s already got so much on his plate! What I need is an editor to read it and get it streamlined. I will continue to pray about it. I will say putting together all these things really stirred me up. Once I got started everything came back. I keep thinking that what I’ve been through wasn’t for no reason. I’ve been through so much these 57 years. It’s been about 23 years of those 57 of being Bipolar. Maybe sharing my story will help someone? How much is too much to share on social media? Your feedback is welcomed.

Matthew 24:27-31 (NIV):

“For the Son of Man will come with the glory of his Father in the company of his angels, and then he will reward everyone according to what they have done… “Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven. And then all the peoples of the earth will mourn when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven, with power and great glory”. 

    27 Sept 2025 Red Tree

    by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging
    Fall signs are here!

    Hello to you! It’s another beautiful fall day. The tree across the street has turned a beautiful flaming red. I wanted to share it with you. Tomorrow I get baptized and I’m both looking forward to it and nervous at the same time! I’m making a big statement about my faith doing this. Thankfully some of my family will be there. The day also is special because my cousin Heidi will be turning 60! She is such a beautiful lady inside and out. She doesn’t look her age at all.

    Daniel 4:11-12New International Version

    11 The tree grew large and strong and its top touched the sky; it was visible to the ends of the earth. 12 Its leaves were beautiful, its fruit abundant, and on it was food for all. Under it the wild animals found shelter, and the birds lived in its branches;from it every creature was fed.

    25 Sept 2025 Dreaming of Spot

    by saymber, posted in animals, dreams, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

    Hello to you. As I write to you this evening I am remembering a vivid and very short dream I had last night with a dog I once owned named Spot. This is like the fourth or fifth dream she has been in since her crossing the rainbow bridge. The one last night was of her being very thirsty and sneaking a bite of a sandwich really fast. It was like a piece of tomato or something. She never looks exactly as she did when she was alive but I always know it’s her! So much energy! She was a rat terrier and just a beautiful dog. I miss her very much. The dreams help me feel like a part of her is still with me.

    Our Spotty Girl

    Revelation 21:1-4New International Version

    A New Heaven and a New Earth

    21 Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,”[a] for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away,and there was no longer any sea. 2 I saw the Holy City,the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes.There will be no more death’[b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

    21 Sept 2025 Strength in Weakness

    by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

    Hello to you. I’m just home from church – today marks our 9th year anniversary as a church. The church has grown so much from even when I started coming. I sat with my friend Jeannie and her brother-in-law Roy who was having trouble getting around today. Pastor Keith Waggoner from the Nampa campus we came from gave a great sermon. Today’s message really resonated with me:

    2 Corinthians 12:7-10New International Version

    7 or because of these surpassingly great revelations.Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

    I have been praying for God to heal me from what ails me for several years now and he has not moved. I believe that what is happening to me is similar to what Paul was talking about. If I was in perfect health I might not turn to God like I do. I might become conceited. God has walked with me through a lot – being bipolar, balance issues and chronic back pain. When I was in AA many years ago, he delivered me from alcoholism, chronic skin picking, smoking and bulemia. I have been through a lot in this life and God has been there every step of the way. Just because he hasn’t healed me completely doesn’t mean he’s absent. He has a plan!

    Next Sunday I am being baptized. They have asked me to give a testimonial so I will work on that this week! God is moving in my life!

    20 Sept 2025 Fall Is Coming

    by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Bipolar life, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

    Hello there. How are you? I’m just back from my evening walk – just one time around the big block today. My back continues to be a nuisance so I have to be careful. I have been feeling something in the air lately – fall is coming. There is an anticipation in the trees and the rest of nature. I love how cozy fall can make life seem. The warmer clothes come out. Hot cocoa with marshmallows gets made. A fire gets lit in the fireplace. Candles get lit. The days get shorter. All of these and more rituals of fall are coming. Do you like fall? The only thing I don’t like is having to take up leaves!

    It’s easier to think about changing seasons than it is about what is happening to our world right now. I pray for our country and this world every day. I pray for our leadership at all levels as they are being challenged so greatly. I pray for our fire fighters, police and first responders. The world is a very dangerous place for them. I pray for the men, women and children trying to survive in war torn regions of this world. I pray for the poor, sick and homeless. I pray for all neglected and abused animals. Jesus we lift up this broken world to you – there are some things we cannot fix without your divine intervention. Have mercy on us – please hear our prayers!

    Oh and I wanted to mention there have been a couple recent blips on the radar with regards to UAPs:

    https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp-video/mmvo247250501553

    10 Sept 2025 The Abyss

    by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

    Hello there! How are you? I hope this finds you well. The back pain is back but I’m trying not to focus on it! I appreciate your prayers!

    Last night I had a good telephone call with a friend and we talked about something I haven’t talked about here for awhile. It was about the abyss that exists in all of us that we often unsuccessfully try to fill with worldly things. When I was an alcoholic, I used alcohol to try and fill myself up. When I was a fan girl for a musician or actor I filled myself up with their music and films. It was all so fleeting! It was an obsession.

    Millions of people are rabid fans of people like Yungblud, Lady Gaga, Ozzie Osbourne, and Taylor Swift. Back in the day for me it was Prince, David Bowie, Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. I drew their images and followed everything they did. There works temporarily filled the void inside me. When David and Prince died it left a huge void in me and was part of one of my manic episodes. Davids music got me through so many hard times especially my teens. It was a couple years ago that I realized my fandom was akin to idol worship and I pulled the plug on all of it. There is only one king worthy of worship! Once I completely surrendered to Jesus nothing else mattered. I realized these celebrities were almost acting like they were Gods – trying to be immortal , omnipresent and making a lot of money off of their worshippers! They are famous because we give them our time and lots of money. So many young people worship these performers and when times get tough they fall back on worshipping these celebrities instead of God. The celebrities are tangible to them whereas God doesn’t seem to be.

    Only one thing fits into the void inside of me and that is God….things of the Spirit. I’ve known this for quite some time but I wandered off several times. As human beings we want a tangible “Jesus”. Like with The Chosens Jonathan Roumies Jesus. He is currently bringing a tangible Jesus to us. It’s tempting to fall into the idol trap. No matter how many times he emphasizes that he’s an actor portraying Jesus there will be those who think he’s the second coming! It must be so hard to be him right now in a world that so wants and needs Jesus to return.

    Since I have put Jesus in the abyss that is inside me I know that I am never completely alone. I can talk to him anytime. A tangible Jesus lives and breathes through the people he has surrounded me with. My family and friends are the body of Jesus in my life.

    Exodus 20:3-6New International Version

    3 “You shall have no other gods before[a] me.

    4 “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God,punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

    Matthew 25:34-40New International Version

    34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me,I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

    37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

    40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

    8 Sept 2025 Doubts

    by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

    Hello to you. It’s Monday again and a lot happened today. My back pain is creeping back – I was so hoping to be free of it completely! At least I had a day to know what it’s like not to have pain. I will stay in praise even though I’m disappointed.

    I had a case of the nerves today. A company, Eco Landscaping, that has been coming out and killing weeds on my gravel, all the sudden jacked up their prices on me with no notice. I have tried calling and texting them and have gotten no response. USAA is handling a charge dispute for me about it. I’m really disappointed this happened as it means having to find another company to come out and provide the service.

    The other thing today was I finally called The Cottages here in Middleton about visitation. This is where the doubts come in. The facility is split into two parts. They have the memory care unit where residents are supervised at all times and the other part where residents can come and go as they please. The part we did the Mothers Days baskets this year for was the memory care unit. For the memory care unit visitors are welcome but must be supervised at all times. The more I thought about it I just don’t feel comfortable going by myself to see people that are going to forget I was even there. When I lived in Alvarado Texas my ex and I use to volunteer at the Assisted Living locked ward they had there and some very uncomfortable things happened to us. It wasn’t good for us. With having my own mental health issues, I have to be careful with what I expose myself to. My Aunt, Uncle and cousin were there for me today to riddle things out. They had some suggestions of what I might be able to do. I want to be of service to Jesus but just am not sure how. As I get older, live alone, have physical limitations and am not as confident as I once was when I was married it’s hard to figure it out! May be by my sharing what I’m going through is a way I’m helping? May be writing, something I’ve done for so many years now, is a way to serve God? I appreciate your continued prayers on this!

    James 1:6New International Version

    6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt,because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

    31 Aug 2025 The Light Of Eternity

    by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

    2 Corinthians 5:17New International Version

    17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creationhas come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here!

    Today has been good even if I overslept! My Aunt Ruth came over and went with me to church. It was the first time she has joined me since we moved to the high school. It was so nice to have her there! Even though we were later, we still got a good seat near my friends. The message that stood out to us today from Pastor Jason was seeing people through the light of eternity. Not just for now but for forever. This is something Ruth does with people and she models for me. It’s not just living through what Christ did for us but living for Christ. We are to be Doulos (Greek for slaves) to God. It doesn’t have a negative meaning that slavery typically does.

    After church we went to the Sunrise for breakfast and it was good as always. Emma took good care of us as always. It was so nice to have company today! We were talking that it will be 3 years this November since I was in the Idaho State Hospital in Orofino and Link had to be rescued from being locked up after escaping from a boarder. I remember this because of pictures I have on my phone. He escaped the same day I left the hospital which stressed us all out! I am so grateful he was picked up and not lost. I also so grateful that Ruth and John came and got me! Otherwise I would have been stuck there. They had no plan for me to have a ride home. One lady I was there with got released to a homeless shelter. So sad! I hope I never have to go through that again – never have to put my family through all that again. Being Bipolar can put such a strain on the family.

    Picture I took of Ruth and John leaving Orofino in November 2022
    My poor baby boy after we got him out of the shelter

    24 Aug 2025 This Old Tent

    by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Bipolar life, Food, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

    Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. I’m sitting here at the Sunrise Cafe waiting for my food reflecting on today’s message at church. The past couple times here I’ve been able to order vegan sausage. I’m trying to fight cruelty in the food I eat. It is a choice to eat meat and even to this day there is so much cruelty and suffering for food animals. We must vote with our pocket books!

    Pastor Jason covered a lot of ground today. One of the bulletin points was “We have a future hope.”The main scripture from Paul, who was a tent maker, was 2 Corinthians 5:1-5 and it speaks to that future hope:

    2 Corinthians 5:1-5New International Version

    Awaiting the New Body

    5 For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.2 Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, 3 because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. 4 For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. 5 Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

    This scripture really resonated with me! The past couple of weeks this old tent of a body has been really groaning! As I look around at this world and the people in it the whole world seems to be a groaning tent. A couple generations of us are getting older and it shows up in pain in different parts of the body. For me it’s my lower back – thank goodness for Biofreeze! I often refer to this in my own life:

    Matthew 26:41New International Version

    41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

    5 Aug 2025 Morning Walk

    by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

    Hello to you. This morning on my walk I decided to take a couple pictures:

    Most of the roses in the neighborhood are done blooming
    A cheerful sunflower
    I love this tree
    “Know that being beautiful is the same thing as being yourself “
    Book my Aunt gave me knowing how much I love trees – Things Trees Know by Douglas Wood

    The world is a different place when you walk. If you were to drive through my neighborhood, you would probably miss the things I notice when I’m walking. God is so creative! Most of my neighbors take really good care of their yards and I notice! I hope by my sharing this with you that you are inspired to look at your own neighborhoods with new eyes.

    Psalm 24:1New International Version

    Psalm 24

    Of David. A psalm.

    1 The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it,
        the world, and all who live in it;