Category: Veteran Affairs

26 November 2021 Hello

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, technology, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hi there! How are you? How’s your day been going? I’m sitting here cuddled with Mr. Link. It’s been a gray and overcast day. I haven’t really been outside. I will be going out this evening to see the Christmas lights in Caldwell. I will need to dress warm as it’s been getting a lot cooler here.

I did another Twitch video today. It’s about Links origin story. It came out ok but not all in one take. I haven’t been able to figure out how to delete videos yet lol!! I’m not sure about this video making stuff! The more I watch other streamers the more less prepared I feel. I guess the most important thing is to keep being myself and work with what I have. My channel is jwygant.

My thanks to all of you that continue with me on this journey I’m on – especially my Auntie!! You are such a beautiful and awesome cheerleader ! The encouragement helps so much but I also appreciate feedback on how I can do better!

26 November 2021 Learning About Going Live On Twitch

by saymber, posted in Social media, technology, Uncategorized, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

Good morning from here how are you? It’s the day after Thanksgiving and I’m guessing a lot of you are taking advantage of Black Friday deals….not my thing lol!

So I’m sipping on some coffee and thinking about what I want to do with my Twitch channel. I’m not entirely sure who my audience is as no one has left a comment in chat yet. I don’t even know how someone would leave a comment. I am working with what I have which is my phone. Most streamers I’ve spent time with have pretty elaborate setups with microphones and multiple cameras. The other thing is content – actually having something new to say each stream. I think with the pros the chat feedback helps them with that.

Today I’m thinking about talking about my dog Links origin story. I can’t believe he’s going to be 7 on the 9th of December! Thankfully he’s in good health. Anyways his story is pretty special – especially how God let me know he was coming! Unfortunately his baby pictures are trapped on an external hard drive I can’t use – it got dropped one too many times!

Looking forward to going with my friend and her grandson to see the holiday lights in Caldwell tonight! Hope you have a good day!

23 November 2021 Twitch – Good Day

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Food, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Money, Spirituality and Religion, technology, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello! It’s morning here as I write to you. I just tried something new. Yesterday my therapist introduced me to Twitch to try and help me with my lonelys problem and so this morning I did a Livestream for a few minutes to try it out. If you use Twitch you can use the search to find me at jwygant. It said I had a viewer but I think it was me lol. A lot of the views go to people with pretty polished presentations. Yesterday I really enjoyed hearing live violin music. One site called Artesianbuilds is watching high end computer builds. From my experience so far, I think I can recommend Twitch.

Yesterday was really a good day. I can honestly say I enjoyed my own company which is rare for me to say! I had a good session with my therapist and on the way home I got groceries and gas in the car (both expensive but can’t be helped! It cost me what I usually pay for a full tank for just a half of a tank). I was planning on bringing green bean casserole to Thanksgiving but couldn’t find the ingredients! So I picked up a key lime pie that should be good.

I have scheduled a Meetup group for the 4th of December (Connect Middleton ID). I don’t expect much since it’s the holiday season but can’t hurt to try. I have to keep it going since I’m paying for it! If you know about Meetup and would like to visit it’s free. RSVP!

I feel like I’m swirling back to a place I’ve been before. A few years ago I was doing videos I called Morning Coffee With Jackie. I did it on YouTube. I kind of got lost in the abyss and gave it up. May be I’ll try something like that on Twitch. I keep thinking of Mr Rogers Neighborhood. May be I can be a friendly face in the crowd. I’m not looking to make money just reaching out. We will see where things go.

“There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.” – Fred Rogers

21 November 2021 Infantile

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, history, Home, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello . Ugh!! I wasn’t going to write again today. I have been having a rough day on my own. The best way to describe what I’m experiencing is imagine an infant wrapped up in a blanket in a crib screaming. You try feeding the infant and that quiets the child for a few minutes. You put the baby back in the crib. They start screaming again. You give them some milk….same thing more screaming. You try singing, reading, rocking, dangling their favorite toy in front of their face….. nothing but more screaming. Finally you pick up the child and hold them and speak softly in soothing tones….at last there is peace.

There is a part of me way deep inside that is the infant I described. Even after 53 years I still can’t completely soothe “Baby Jackie!” It is so tiresome trying to parent an infant trapped inside my own body! I just can’t seem to please her and if I do it isn’t for long. “We” are chronically lonely.

When my Mom took her own life, it feels like she took a part of me with her. I was too young to know her but there must be a part of me that did. A part of me that just can’t seem to find lasting comfort with life in this world without her. I try! I really try but it’s on days like today that remind me I have to keep at it! When you are a mother to your own soul your work is never done.

Sigh…..I hope something here resonates. I’d love to hear from you and your story.

20 November 2021 Saturday

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

A power ballad to start the day:

Isaiah 41:10New International Version

10 So do not fear,(A) for I am with you;(B)
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen(C) you and help(D) you;
I will uphold you(E) with my righteous right hand.(F)

So the Saturday has begun. I have had coffee. I have two happy dogs. I have sunshine. Later on today I am going with my new friend to a place in a town nearby called Meridian. It’s called The Village. The Village is like a real high end Mall but it’s out in the open. They have it all decorated for Christmas so that will be fun to see. May be it will get me in the spirit.

A lot of stuff is going on in my world but it is all part of a plan

19 November 2021 In the Middle

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello. I’m writing to you from a place in the middle. I’m bored out of my fucking mind….just waiting for the “next thing” to happen. This is me talking to God in words. I don’t know if it will make sense.

“I walk the margins to avoid the shattered glass. I grasp at this and that feeding the ever expanding me. I can’t escape me no matter how hard I try. This shiny and that shiny a fleeting glimmer in the expanding and contracting black holes at the center of my eyes…..more there must be more than this! Is this the best you have to offer?!! Be still you tell me. The silence in stillness is maddening what’s next?! I scream inside…..I walk and let out silent screams. Can you hear me?! I walk on the shattered glass now just so I’ll feel the margins….feel anything but this endless middle place between now and then. It’s never enough. I’m perpetually hungry from my stomach to my soul. God What will you do with this vibrating slab of me? You have stripped me down to echoes. What am I undirected and left to my own devices? An automaton waiting for some unseen hand to activate me? Always waiting for someone or something to inspire movement ? I used to have thoughts of my own. A will of my own . God where have I gone?”

19 November 2021 Friday

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Mental Health, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging
My writing buddies Link and Smokey

Hi there. How are you? I’ve been having a helluva time writing to you today. I’ve started and deleted three posts now. It’s because I’m trying to write about the holidays. I just can’t write about them without getting depressed! Thanksgiving is ok but Christmas is not. I’ll leave it at that for now!

So what are you doing today? I am dog sitting Smokey for my Aunt and Uncle. Link and I both like it when Smokey comes to visit! The two dogs are about the same age and are both half Maltese.

It’s a gray overcast chilly day here as I write. I don’t know how I’m going to make it through this winter!

18 November 2021 Pushing Through

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Do you ever have a nagging physical sensation of being held back when you want to move forward? This feeling that you want to be doing something but you can’t for some invisible reason? But then from someplace inside you push yourself through what is blocking you. Do we even really know what’s in the way? For me one of the things that blocks me is fear of failure.

I heard a sermon by Pastor Steven Furtick today that really resonated. He talked about how God will give you the green light to go but Jesus isn’t going to drive the car….you have to do that! God will give you opportunities but you have to use your feet to get there.

https://youtu.be/OuOOz01LXaU – Get Out Of Your Feelings Pastor Steven Furtick

I need to get out of my own way. I keep giving the keys to my “car” to God and he says “No! I want you to drive!” Some of our most meaningful times have been when I just “randomly “ went someplace. I want to get strong enough for us to have those times again. I called them Missions. When you think you are going someplace you want to go out of the blue but it’s really God sending you out to do his work. No coincidences.

Hopefully something here resonates. Today is one of those writing days. Thanks for stopping by!

18 November 2021 Progress Not Perfection

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, drawing, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you? I’m sitting here with my coffee and Link….so grateful to write to you today! Even though it’s overcast and gray there is light inside. Sometimes you have to generate light for yourself even if you are surrounded by darkness.

Progress not perfection…….baby steps. Last night my friend reminded me how far I’ve come in just a short time. We went from buying an insect ridden drum, starting a Meetup Group, going to a Meetup Group and ended up making a friend and then starting to drive more all in just a couple of months! Gradually a life is unfolding for me here.

I attribute my progress to God, my family and friends. I asked God….I continue to ask God and I continue to be heard. This passage speaks to me of the times I didn’t ask and tried to do it on my own:

James 4:2New International Version

2 You desire but do not have, so you kill.(A) You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.

The way things are right now. Sometimes it’s confusing to know which door to walk through next. I have help. If it ain’t light (in my chest) it ain’t right!

17 November 2021 Coffee

by saymber, posted in Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello! How are you? I walked through a new door today. I met a new friend at The Flying M Coffee Shop in Caldwell- it’s a town about 15 minutes from where I live. She had a latte and I had a mocha – both were really good. The atmosphere of the place was really nice. A lot of people were there using computers. We got a chance to visit and get to know each other better. Turns out she is a life coach! Wonder what God is up to !! She has an online business too where she makes bracelets and other really cool things. I have a lot to process! The first thing is God and my Angel Deegan getting me to the coffee shop and back safely! We did it! I told her if she had asked me a month ago to meet her I probably would have said no. What door is next I wonder? I will have to be patient and just be ready!

Link to her business if your curious: https://www.positivelymagickal.com/