10 Sept 2025 The Abyss

September 10, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there! How are you? I hope this finds you well. The back pain is back but I’m trying not to focus on it! I appreciate your prayers!

Last night I had a good telephone call with a friend and we talked about something I haven’t talked about here for awhile. It was about the abyss that exists in all of us that we often unsuccessfully try to fill with worldly things. When I was an alcoholic, I used alcohol to try and fill myself up. When I was a fan girl for a musician or actor I filled myself up with their music and films. It was all so fleeting! It was an obsession.

Millions of people are rabid fans of people like Yungblud, Lady Gaga, Ozzie Osbourne, and Taylor Swift. Back in the day for me it was Prince, David Bowie, Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. I drew their images and followed everything they did. There works temporarily filled the void inside me. When David and Prince died it left a huge void in me and was part of one of my manic episodes. Davids music got me through so many hard times especially my teens. It was a couple years ago that I realized my fandom was akin to idol worship and I pulled the plug on all of it. There is only one king worthy of worship! Once I completely surrendered to Jesus nothing else mattered. I realized these celebrities were almost acting like they were Gods – trying to be immortal , omnipresent and making a lot of money off of their worshippers! They are famous because we give them our time and lots of money. So many young people worship these performers and when times get tough they fall back on worshipping these celebrities instead of God. The celebrities are tangible to them whereas God doesn’t seem to be.

Only one thing fits into the void inside of me and that is God….things of the Spirit. I’ve known this for quite some time but I wandered off several times. As human beings we want a tangible “Jesus”. Like with The Chosens Jonathan Roumies Jesus. He is currently bringing a tangible Jesus to us. It’s tempting to fall into the idol trap. No matter how many times he emphasizes that he’s an actor portraying Jesus there will be those who think he’s the second coming! It must be so hard to be him right now in a world that so wants and needs Jesus to return.

Since I have put Jesus in the abyss that is inside me I know that I am never completely alone. I can talk to him anytime. A tangible Jesus lives and breathes through the people he has surrounded me with. My family and friends are the body of Jesus in my life.

Exodus 20:3-6New International Version

³“You shall have no other gods before^[a] me.

⁴“You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. ⁵You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God,punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, ⁶but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

Matthew 25:34-40New International Version

³⁴“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶I needed clothes and you clothed me,I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

³⁷“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

⁴⁰“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

3 October 2021 Sunday

October 3, 2021 by saymber, posted in dreams, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello there! How are you? As I write the sun is creeping across the front porch and it’s really quiet. No loud noises, no dogs or anything – truly a day of rest, it must be Sunday ! I hope this finds you well.

This morning I had a pleasant dream about Benedict Cumberbatch it’s been a long time . His dream self now knows that my ex is his 9th cousin and that I’m divorced. There was something about him having painful ingrown fingernails. I woke up feeling comforted like I’d had a visit with a friend. Doesn’t surprise me that the man would be in my dreams he seems to be everywhere these days !

So I have had something on my mind this morning, I almost drew a picture. It’s a passage from the Bible: John 14 2-12

“In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”

This is one of my favorite passages. When I read it I always find myself thinking of the earth and all the life forms on it. I think of God being able to experience life through each and every life form. Some of the lives long and some extremely brief. Each life a room in the very large house that is this earth.

I’ve been told that that’s not what Jesus was talking about but I disagree. If God is God and he created everything then each and every life on this planet is a room in which he dwells. Every second a new “room” is added! Each newborn be it a human child to a baby in the wilds! Each life has a value and purpose!

5 May 2020 Uncomfortable Silence

May 5, 2020May 6, 2020 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, drawing, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Movies, Music, Television, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you doing today? Hopefully you are doing well.

Something that comes to mind this morning is the phrase uncomfortable silence. As I write, I’ve got an alternative station I found that I like, 103.7 fm on as background noise. I’m getting to be one of those kind of people that has to have the sound on in my world. That thing called comfortable silence is uncomfortable for me and it never used to be.

This radio used to belong to my brother-in-law Todd – still useful!

My mother-in-law used to follow ratings for television shows. I seem to remember her talking about CSI was one that always had high ratings. What was behind that a certain demographic, usually older Americans, put the show on as background noise even if they weren’t watching it. I though that was funny at the time until this situation of having to stay home alone more! I’m becoming one of those people!

So today I give thanks for local programming and the radio stations that keep the world interesting for me. Right now I don’t have access to streaming services without paying for it. I’m trying Amazon Prime video and took a look at Patrick Melrose yesterday. I couldn’t get through the first episode. It was hard to see Benedict Cumberbatch being such a convincing addict. I much prefer seeing him as Sherlock Holmes (minus the addict part) and Dr. Strange! There are some other interesting shows to check out whilst I work on my afghan.

I find myself going a bit stir crazy staying in the house so I’ll meander out for a walk. This isn’t such a bad thing as I gained some weight during my hospital stay. I’m starting to remember why one can lose your mind a bit being trapped in the house. In the past, it was just because of extremes of weather. I can remember being in a shelter in Mississippi during a hurricane and how tough that was. I was in a shelter with a bunch of other people and it was dark and even smelly at times. We ate peanut butter and crackers in the dark. As tough as that was, there was an end in sight. With this virus and containment, there doesn’t seem to be a definitive end. I understand better why there are protesters in different placing demanding things get opened back up. We are social creatures and are made to do stuff besides staying at home.

I wonder if this is the plants way of healing itself? For all the bad things that have happened and tragedy, good things have been happening for the planet. The biggest thing is a reduction in air pollution! I wonder how can we keep that going once life starts to resume it’s course?

https://nypost.com/2020/04/07/3-ways-the-coronavirus-is-a-boon-to-the-environment/

First drawing with markers – thinking of breaking through barriers in my life.

“a uncomfortable silence” in the English Ordinal system equals 213 – (ironically month and day I was born!)