Category: Bipolar life

5 August 2021 Pain

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you today? Is it hot where you are ? As I write it’s a nice 79 degrees. I managed to get Link around once and a lap for me . I may go again later but I’m trying not to overdue it. I have been having some pain in my knees and upper thighs .

I hate that I’m getting older and my limbs get stiff and sore . Oh for the days when I felt invincible lol! Oh for the days when I could lose weight easily and keep it off! The thing is I don’t want to be young again – just pain free! I don’t want to have to go through all that schooling again!

Colors of today

4 August 2021 Chalk Therapy

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you . It’s Wednesday and it’s nice out here in Middleton. This morning I tried to get the boo bear out for a walk and he wasn’t having any of that ! So I got a mile in by myself. After some cereal and coffee I decided to take advantage of the fresh driveway canvas. Some chalk therapy! Being outside and drawing is like being in church for me – both peaceful and stimulating for my brain .As of late I like drawing Metatrons cube in chalk the best, the pattern soothes me. I haven’t felt like drawing some of the stuff I used to draw like faces.

Onward soldier we go through the hazards of today we flow we recognize very little of where we have been and most surely will retrace our steps back again. The finger of God points the way to go we will eventually arrive even if our progress is slow

Chalk therapy

“Chalk therapy ” in the English Ordinal system equals 128 – (a man) ( one process of light and shadow in eternity)

31 July 2021 Mystery

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Spirituality and Religion

Hello, how are you today? I hope you are well. I’m doing well and enjoying the weekend.

I am sharing another drawing that is a mystery to me. I just pick up my pens and draw and don’t really know what they mean! Sometimes I don’t find out til after I’ve drawn something if there is any meaning at all! I think this one has to do with maintaining a balance on the multiple layers of known existence .

30 July 2021 Forgiveness

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! How are you today? It’s really hot here today. I’m about ready for summer to be over! I’m sure I’m not alone with that sentiment.

Well yesterday was a day of sudden changes and today is about forgiveness. Sometimes people do things that they regret. I had to pray a lot about this…. Let God. I could have chosen to shut the door on this person but I don’t think that’s what God wanted me to do . I cannot ignore the red flags and warnings but something tells me these are growing pains. The person in question has been through a lot of troubles too and made mistakes. I have been through a lot too, made mistakes . What if everyone had shut the door on me ? I try to keep that in mind when I am dealing with these sorts of things.

29 July 2021 Sudden Changes

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you how are you today ? I’m doing alright I think . I am in the midst of sudden changes again. I thought I had made a friend but I was wrong . So I am on my own again and I’m lead back to blogging more regularly and drawing pictures that are kind of a reflection of what’s going on in my life . Today’s drawing shows an upside down world in the blink of an eye . I haven’t been using the gematria system lately because it only seemed to make sense to me!

Sometimes it seems like God throws curve balls and the reasons aren’t immediately clear . I have to believe something better is in store for me .

Drawing for today

28 July 2021 Helpful or Harmful

by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Mental Health, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you doing on this hot day in July? I am doing ok. I was taking an afternoon nap and some thoughts and images started to filter into my my mind . Some of them painful memories like the day my cat Amber passed away. I had to force my mind to think of other things. I had to ask myself if thinking about such a traumatic day was helpful or harmful. The verdict was it was harmful. I don’t want to think about sad/depressing/traumatic things! So I thought of when she was alive sitting in a sunbeam instead. I forced myself to get up and draw too.

I have had to learn mental gymnastics like these past couple of years. If I let my mind wander it can lead me to some pretty dark places if I let it. It’s the same place my feelings are at and I have found that as an empath living by feelings can be emotionally draining and paralyzing .

Drawing for today

30 May 2021 Memorial

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you? It’s hard to believe it’s already been a year since the last Memorial Day….how quickly does time go as I get older. I miss the family I spent the last Memorial Day with in Texas but God has provided me with loving family in my here and now. There is great symbolism in Memorial Day. It symbolizes for me both endings and beginnings. I am still mourning my losses and probably always will on some level or another. Do we ever truly forget those we love? Once a name has been etched on heart does it ever completely fade? I say no.

“memorial day ” in the English Ordinal system equals 116

25 May 2020 Beth Tim Kyle and Cole

18 May 2021 Staying Positive

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you ? I hope this finds you well. Today I had to exercise my staying positive muscles . I believe that what you focus on gains power. So I have been trying to make a conscious effort to focus on the good in my life versus where my life is lacking . I am applying this train of thought in what I think, speak and write.

Let’s see what staying positive is in the numbers:

Staying positive in the English ordinal system is 210 -light and shadow process for one against the unknown

19 April 2021 The Wind

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you? I am doing pretty good today. The wind has been blowing something fierce this morning. I wonder what God is talking about today:

Psalm 104:4New International Version

4 He makes winds his messengers,[a]
    flames of fire his servants.

Sometimes when I hear the wind through the trees I wonder what it is they are talking about. I wonder if it’s like going to the hair dresser and being under a fan getting your hair to set. “Did you see Weeping Willow down the street?! I wonder how long she’s going to let her hair grow out?!”

Sometimes the wind is scary if it blows too hard….is that a fight?! Lets see what the wind is in the numbers:

“balance” in the English Ordinal system equals 38

“the wind” in the English Ordinal system equals 83 (eternal yes, no, may be)