7 August 2023 Happiness

List 30 things that make you happy.

Hello to you. How are you? Todays prompt is tough for me as I think it’s been since before my divorce I’ve been truly happy. Last night I dreamt about being with my ex and we were so happy in the dream he suggested we put our wedding rings back on- talk about my brain manufacturing wishful thinking! Yet it was so vivid and romantic! Truth be told though that ship has definitely sailed. As the years pass since the divorce the more I have come to believe that Kyle was it for me. I always said if I couldn’t make things work with him I would end up alone. Being Bipolar 1 has been a marriage/relationship killer for me.

So what makes me happy? Let’s see – food like desserts, Link, my family, a good movie or television show, a good song, nature (especially flowers and clouds), Jesus – experiencing him at Church and in the world, helping others and that’s about it. Can’t come up with 30!

Something I want to mention happened this past Sunday at church both moved me and made me happy. We were singing and I stopped to look around and I almost started to cry. I thought what if this is like heaven? The song we were singing was Blessed Assurance. One of the reasons I almost cried too was hearing a little girl behind me singing her little heart out! So sweet! I just got to thinking about what heaven might be like. A place where there is peace – no fighting – and a lot of beautiful music all day long every day. I miss singing next to my Mom and Dad at church. The Catholic Church has such beautiful hyms,

https://youtu.be/Bsdl8DSZfRo – Elevation Worship Blessed Assurance (lyric video)

Blessed Assurance

Lyrics

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God
Born of his Spirit, washed in His blood

This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long

Perfect submission, perfect delight
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight
Angels descending bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love

This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long
Praising my Savior all the day long

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Don Wyrtzen / Fanny Crosby / Phoebe Knapp

Blessed Assurance lyrics © Word Music Llc, Integrity Music, Word Music, Llc, Curb Word Music

Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 NIV12

I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil-this is the gift of God.

2 August 2023 Traditions

What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?

Hello there – how are you? Last night I decided to see if it’s the abilify that is causing me to be anxious and run fast – affect my sleep. I took two Depakote instead – sure enough I was able to sleep and feel like I rested. I think my body is used to it. The abilify makes me feel too high. I need to talk to my doctor about all this. I called and left a message for the pharmacist that gave me tapering off instructions from the olanzapine which I wasn’t able to do because I ran out of it and they didn’t refill it. Hopefully she will call me back today.

Todays prompt makes me think of Christmas. My parents and my ex and I used to have a tradition of telling each other what specifically we wanted for Christmas and that’s what we would get. My Mom used to send holiday treats up until a year ago or so. With Dad being in a nursing home things have changed and understandably so. We don’t exchange gifts anymore – just cards. Since moving here to Idaho, I have been indoctrinated into new traditions for the family here. They are similar to what I grew up with but slightly different. They do a white elephant gift exchange where everyone brings a gift of $25 or more and they do a trade.

Psalm 18:1-2New International Version

I love you, Lord, my strength.

2 The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield[b] and the horn[c] of my salvation, my stronghold.

One of my favorite Christian songs:

https://youtu.be/-f4MUUMWMV4 – Goodness of God

Goodness of God

Lyrics

I love You, Lord
For Your mercy never fails me
All my days, I’ve been held in Your hands
From the moment that I wake up
Until I lay my head
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

I love Your voice
You have led me through the fire
In the darkest night
You are close like no other
I’ve known You as a Father
I’ve known You as a Friend
And I have lived in the goodness of God (yeah)

And all my life You have been faithful (oh)
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God (yeah)

‘Cause Your goodness is running after
It’s running after me
Your goodness is running after
It’s running after me
With my life laid down
I’m surrendered now
I give You everything
‘Cause Your goodness is running after
It’s running after me (oh-oh)

‘Cause Your goodness is running after
It’s running after me
Your goodness is running after
It’s running after me
With my life laid down
I’m surrendered now
I give You everything
‘Cause Your goodness is running after
It keeps running after me

And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God
(I’m gonna sing, I’m gonna sing)

‘Cause all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God
Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Jason Ingram / Brian Johnson / Ed Cash / Ben Fielding / Jenn Johnson

Goodness of God lyrics © So Essential Tunes, Capitol Cmg Paragon, Bethel Music Publishing, Shout! Music Publishing Australia

1 August 2023 Helpers

Hello to you – how are you? I’m awake early this morning – second morning in a row. The abilify doesn’t make me feel as sleepy as the olanzapine did. I’m still taking Depakote and it makes me hungry! I want to make breakfast but the ants have returned to my kitchen again – pain in the butts! The All Natural Pest Control people are scheduled to come out this morning.

This morning my thoughts turn to people in survival mode – so many! I am so blessed to have a roof over my head, food to eat, clean water, clothing, reliable transportation, medical insurance and even a dog! So many people in our country – in this world – don’t have any of these things! I watch reels on Facebook where a guy named Knate reaches out to people on the street who are struggling. It’s beautiful and sad to see. I used to work at a food bank in Melbourne Florida called The Daily Bread. I helped bus tables, prepare and serve food to the poor and homeless. It was very rewarding but sad at the same time. So many people came there – needed shower facilities. Families with young children were especially hard to see. The people on staff were so pleased with my work there that they asked me to join them in a managerial position and I just couldn’t do it. I just wanted to help not take on a job as I was transitioning out of the military at the time.

We are a world filled with more consumers than helpers – is that because more people need help? I wonder! When I think of the word helper I think of Mr. Fred Rogers. I was raised to be a helper but I have always had enough of everything. Both my parents worked so that was possible. I am white, was born in the Midwest and was raised as an only child in the Roman Catholic faith. I had everything I needed except may be my parents time – they worked so much. I didn’t know homelessness or hunger – poverty except through the church and it’s missions. Now the streets of our major cities are lined with all of those things AND substance abuse. It makes me think of the videos of The Great Depression.

https://youtu.be/-LGHtc_D328 – Fred Rogers: Look for the Helpers

Galatians 6:2New International Version

2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

30 July 2023 Perspective

Hello to you! How has your weekend been? I’m just back from church – there was a good message and a good turnout. Pastor Jason emphasized perspective about life. He had a good way of sharing it. He had a spool of twine he wound through all of us and that symbolized our connection to the eternity of being in heaven with Jesus. He cut off a tiny sliver that symbolizes our individual life and he blew it away. Our lives are short compared to eternity! He also talked about us not really having control over what happens to us but we can control how we react to what happens. Old wisdom for current times! What I know about perspective is we are biologically incapable of all perceiving this world in the exact same way.

I’ve been processing more about the latest news about aliens. I was over at my Aunt and Uncles yesterday to spend some time with them and my cousin Laura. My Aunt is healing from her shoulder surgery. We all agreed that this news doesn’t change much for the average American. They were relieved to hear me say that as my blogs were pretty full of excitement about it lol. They were a little worried about me. I haven’t lost my perspective! What frustrates me and other UFO enthusiasts is when people say the extraterrestrials are demons. I don’t believe that. I believe they are of Gods making too. It’s all his design. My Aunt and Uncle don’t think they are here to help – they think we are like ants to them – observing.

My Aunt is doing well and enjoyed having my cousin and I over to visit. The boys went to see Oppenheimer – 3 hour movie! She wanted to watch Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga so we watched different performances of them together on YouTube. It’s funny how much of a bridge was built by those two with genres of music.

https://youtu.be/PcbJt0GqJJ4 – 60 minutes Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett

One the psalms we read today:

Psalm 37[a] NIV

Of David.

Do not fret because of those who are evil
    or be envious of those who do wrong;
for like the grass they will soon wither,
    like green plants they will soon die away.

Trust in the Lord and do good;
    dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteous rewardshine like the dawn,
    your vindication like the noonday sun.

Be still before the Lord
    and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
    when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
    do not fret—it leads only to evil.
For those who are evil will be destroyed,
    but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.

10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more;
    though you look for them, they will not be found.
11 But the meek will inherit the land
    and enjoy peace and prosperity.

12 The wicked plot against the righteous
    and gnash their teeth at them;
13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
    for he knows their day is coming.

14 The wicked draw the sword
    and bend the bow
to bring down the poor and needy,
    to slay those whose ways are upright.
15 But their swords will pierce their own hearts,
    and their bows will be broken.

16 Better the little that the righteous have
    than the wealth of many wicked;
17 for the power of the wicked will be broken,
    but the Lord upholds the righteous.

18 The blameless spend their days under the Lord’s care,
    and their inheritance will endure forever.
19 In times of disaster they will not wither;
    in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.

20 But the wicked will perish:
    Though the Lord’s enemies are like the flowers of the field,
    they will be consumed, they will go up in smoke.

21 The wicked borrow and do not repay,
    but the righteous give generously;
22 those the Lord blesses will inherit the land,
    but those he curses will be destroyed.

23 The Lord makes firm the steps
    of the one who delights in him;
24 though he may stumble, he will not fall,
    for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

25 I was young and now I am old,
    yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
    or their children begging bread.
26 They are always generous and lend freely;
    their children will be a blessing.[b]

27 Turn from evil and do good;
    then you will dwell in the land forever.
28 For the Lord loves the just
    and will not forsake his faithful ones.

Wrongdoers will be completely destroyed[c];
    the offspring of the wicked will perish.
29 The righteous will inherit the land
    and dwell in it forever.

30 The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom,
    and their tongues speak what is just.
31 The law of their God is in their hearts;
    their feet do not slip.

32 The wicked lie in wait for the righteous,
    intent on putting them to death;
33 but the Lord will not leave them in the power of the wicked
    or let them be condemned when brought to trial.

34 Hope in the Lord
    and keep his way.
He will exalt you to inherit the land;
    when the wicked are destroyed, you will see it.

35 I have seen a wicked and ruthless man
    flourishing like a luxuriant native tree,
36 but he soon passed away and was no more;
    though I looked for him, he could not be found.

37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright;
    a future awaits those who seek peace.[d]
38 But all sinners will be destroyed;
    there will be no future[e] for the wicked.

39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord;
he is their stronghold in time of trouble.
40 The Lord helps them and delivers them;
he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
because they take refuge in him.

27 July 2023 Someone Cares

Hi there! How is your week going this far? I’m just back from the Thursday prayer meeting – so glad I went. I got to meet a new person and as a group we talked about something we all had in common – a family member committing suicide and mental health. The pain of the loss be it fresh or a few years down the road never really goes away. Time numbs the wounds, faith restores hope. Some day we will see each other again! Mental Health is so hard to understand. It’s not like a broken bone or a one time problem you can just snap your fingers and fix. Suicide attempts are not just attention seeking but a legitimate cry for help.

Along these lines it comes to me to put it out in the cosmos that no matter what life may seem to be someone cares. For example, in a little gathering of four people just today, strangers to you, lifted you up in prayer. Someone cares about you no matter how it may seem. You are not alone! God has shown me this through my family both blood and not.

Exodus 33:14

14 The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

Psalm 139:7

7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?

Matthew 26:41New International Version

41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

*RIP Sinead O’Connor – they haven’t said how she died but I have my suspicions from her history. I hope she has found peace.

25 July 2023 Modern Society

What would you change about modern society?

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. Yesterday was really nice. My cousin came over and whisked me away from my house for bit. We had lunch at Subway and got a short walk in. It really meant a lot to me,

Todays prompt is a lot for just a few words in a question. I have lived 55 years and seen and experienced the evolution to the society we are living in. I have been part of it! I can remember computers being much more primitive and there not being cell phones. It’s pretty amazing that I am using a hand held device to do this blog. interactions with family and friends are different. Take yesterday for example. My cousin and I didn’t take any pictures we were just in the moment of being together. We used her phone to look into stationary bikes but that was it. I used to take pictures of everything – selfie Queen lol and now it’s mostly just special occasions.

Program from when I saw David

I think if I could change one thing about modern society it would be encouraging people to be in the moment and capture those moments with their eyes not just their phones. Be present fully in life. I have seen on Tik Tok Taylor Swift concerts and it’s just a sea of phone lights each recording the concert. When I saw David Bowie back in the 1990’s there were just writhing bodies with their eyes peeled on David! Even as long ago as that was I remember it like it was today.

This is for my Auntie who is having shoulder surgery tomorrow:

Matthew 6:34New International Version

34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

23 July 2023 Comfort Food

What’s your go-to comfort food?

Hello to you. How are you? Just back from church and some errands. I locked myself out last night and didn’t have a spare key. Thank God my Aunt had a spare! I have mentioned this before but I’ll say it again – her and my Uncle John are my earth angels. When I need help or just some company they are there. We had a nice meal together yesterday with my cousin Tony. I’m so grateful for my family here. They are such a great support system.

“Are you getting up?!”
This treat has been with me most of my life. I used to eat them for lunch at school

My comfort food is peanut butter and chocolate. I enjoy Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Little Debbie’s Nutty Bars. Neither of these are low calorie so they have to be eaten in moderation! When I was a teenager I was hungry all the time and would eat semi-sweet chocolate chips in peanut butter as a snack.

Todays psalm at church is a well known favorite. It was nice to have Pastor Jayson Boyd and his wife Becky back today:

Psalm 23New International Version

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
    he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

13 July 2023 Bedtime

What time do you go to bed and wake up currently?

Hello to you. I’m just back from Grace House where we have a prayer meeting each Thursday at 9:30 am. Today it was Lois, Brie and me. We are hoping that may be this fall our group will grow some. I walked over and back. My lower back wasn’t happy but the prayers helped. I have been having some vertigo/swaying spells the past couple of days. I hope this isn’t a side effect of the new medication I’m on! We prayed for my Aunt and Dad too. Just found out my Aunt is having shoulder surgery later this month.

So bedtime and getting up are something I’ve been having to work on. I try to start going to bed at 9 pm and I usually wake up around 8-9 am. It takes me a long time to fall asleep and I don’t like getting out of bed right away. I think the reason I have trouble falling asleep has to do with being on screens before bed time. Last night I didn’t have anything on after lights out and I don’t remember falling asleep! Just takes good practice and consistency I think.

Today was good because I needed to be up early to go to the prayer meeting. It’s good to have a reason to get up and have something to look forward to.

Psalm 4:8New International Version

8 In peace I will lie down and sleep,
for you alone, Lord,
make me dwell in safety.

8 July 2023 Vacation

Describe your most memorable vacation.

Hello to you. I hope your doing well today. Todays prompt makes me think of so many summer vacations we took when I was a child and also the trips we took while being stationed overseas. It’s hard to choose just one!

The memories I have from childhood kind of run together. I have memories of being on vacation with very close family friends the Daggetts. We rode horses on one trip, mine was named Czar. We went to a dinner theater where one of the characters was scratching like he had fleas and we all started scratching in response! I can remember Dad getting yelled at by us because when he was driving he would take forever to pull over so we could pee! I remember us staying in a bed and breakfast that we were convinced had fleas lol. It was a last resort kind of place as we couldn’t find anything else. I can remember going to Canada and one of the hotels we stayed at had a pool that turned the girls hair green! I remember visiting Williamsburg in Ontario which was really cool. So many little snippets of memories of those trips. It was really a big deal because we didn’t have a lot of money when I was growing up. The fact that my parents made summer vacations possible meant a lot!

When I was overseas stationed at Bitburg ABS Germany we took advantage of Morale Welfare and Recreation trips around the country. We got to see Neuschwanstein Castle (the castle Walt Disney is based on) and got to London. In London we got to see all the major attractions – it was so surreal standing were Anne Boleyn was executed. We rode a train from Frankfurt Germany to Milan Italy. I loved that trip. So much history! I really loved Europe and didn’t want to leave! The food, the people and the sites just made me feel so at home. Like I said, it’s hard to pick just one trip that was the most memorable.

When I look back over my life I have been so fortunate to have been able to have the big vacations but also the little “stay-cations” like we did a lot in Colorado. Going hiking and biking in Colorado – fishing trips – just so many little trips really brought me a lot of joy. Falling asleep listening to the sounds of aspen leaves blowing in the wind on top of Pikes Peak for example. Living in Colorado was aside from Europe, my favorite place I lived.

Psalm 121:8New International Version

8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

30 June 2023 Brains Ok

Hello to you. How are you doing? It’s Friday again – this week went fast.

Yesterday I went with my cousin to an appointment with a neurologist. They didn’t find anything of concern – brains ok! Very short visit. Kind of felt like a waste of time but at least it was good news. The doctor was much more cheerful than the first time we met. Whatever is going on in my head and ears appears to be something non-detectable by standard tests. He said he thinks whatever is going on may be connected to the medication I’m on. I’ve been on Depakote before and didn’t have the side effects I’m experiencing. I think it’s Mal de barque and I’m just going to have to live with it.

What was good about going is I got some quality time with my cousin Laura – that wasn’t a waste of time! We had a nice lunch at Chik-Filet. During our visit she was trying to help me figure out things I can do to get me out of the house more or have something meaningful to do. Both her and my Aunt do that. This is helpful for me as sometimes it’s hard to get out of my own way. The limitations holding me back are mostly physical, not wanting to drive and especially not wanting to leave Link for long periods of time. She had a lot of ideas for me to think about! She encouraged me to think of things I can do not what I can’t. I am hoping with the medication change I will be starting that I won’t be tired so much and will have more stamina – hopefully will lose some weight!

These cheerful painted rocks were out front of the hospital

Psalm 30:2New International Version

2 Lord my God, I called to you for help,
and you healed me.