# 8 Nov 2018 In the Dark Spaces

This morning, after processing yet another act of terror in this country, I kept my heart centered with love.  This doesn’t feel like a coincidence to be happening again so soon.  It feels like yet another very public distraction from other goings on in our country.  Instead of feeling anger and all the feelings I normally have felt, I choose love.  I choose truth.  I choose justice.  I pray for the greatest most loving good in all of this.  As a friend I once knew chose as his personal campaign, choose love not hate.  (choose love not hate in Simple Gematria equals: 202)

in the dark spaces of the unknown i will shine a light of love in Simple Gematria equals: 571

13/4/2/1 or 13 divided by 2 = 6.5 = 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

truth in Simple Gematria equals: 87

15/6/3 cycle or 15 divided by 2 = 7.5 = 12 divided by 2 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 divided by 2 = 1.5 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle

justice in Simple Gematria equals: 87

15/6/3 cycle or 15 divided by 2 = 7.5 = 12 divided by 2 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 divided by 2 = 1.5 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle

honor in Simple Gematria equals: 70

7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

= 815 (86)

14/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1 or 14/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

respect in Simple Gematria equals: 86

14/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1 or 14/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

american in Simple Gematria equals: 64

10/1 or 10/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

hero in Simple Gematria equals: 46

10/1 or 10/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

(64 + 46 = 110)

earth angels in Simple Gematria equals: 110 (president in Simple Gematria equals: 110)

110/2/1 or 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

good in Simple Gematria equals: 41

5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

evil in Simple Gematria equals: 48 (birth, cycle)

12/3 cycle or 12 divided by 2 = 6 divided by 2 =

mental illness in Simple Gematria equals: 155

11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

disease in Simple Gematria equals: 62

8/4/2/1

impaired in Simple Gematria equals: 75

12/6/3 divided by 2 = 1.5 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle

violence in Simple Gematria equals: 85 (same value as the phrase that came to me to share but different meaning)

13/4/2/1 or 13 divided by 2 = 6.5 = 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

peace in Simple Gematria equals: 30

3 divided by 2 = 1.5 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle

life in Simple Gematria equals: 32

5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

death in Simple Gematria equals: 38 (light)

11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

birth in Simple Gematria equals: 57

12/6/3 divided by 2 = 1.5 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle

cycle in Simple Gematria equals: 48

12/6/3 divided by 2 = 1.5 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle

light in Simple Gematria equals: 56 (death)

11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

darkness in Simple Gematria equals: 91 (hero)

10/1 or 10/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

love in Simple Gematria equals: 54

9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle

anger in Simple Gematria equals: 45

9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle

hate in Simple Gematria equals: 34 (honor)

7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

possessed in Simple Gematria equals: 121

4/2/1

perception in Simple Gematria equals: 121

4/2/1

reality in Simple Gematria equals: 90 (love)

9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle

freedom of choice in Simple Gematria equals: 130 (choose love not hate in Simple Gematria equals: 202)

= 1633

76/13/4/2/1 or 13 divided by 2 = 6.5 = 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1633

## Events

### Date unknown

https://www.gunviolencearchive.org/“Is this what America is?”  “Is this what our world is?”

8 Nov 2018 Gun violence map 51fd6d40-2abd-4a58-9e24-7ac72fd4fbde

• 2018

Gun violence  and crime incidents are collected/validated from 2,500 sources daily – incidents and their source data are found at the gunviolencearchive.org website.

1: Actual number of deaths and injuries
2: Number of INCIDENTS reported and verified

22,000 Annual Suicides not included on Daily Summary Ledger

Numbers on this table reflect a subset of all information
collected and will not add to 100% of incidents.

Data Validated: November 08, 2018

By saymber

# 27 Oct 2018 Broken Pieces (put back together to make someone new)

broken pieces put back together to make someone new in Simple Gematria equals: 487

19/10/1 or 19 divided by 2 = 9.5 = 14 divided by 2 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

the tree of life in Simple Gematria equals: 134

8/4/2/1  (God = 26)

= 621/9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle Difficult = 90/9

I tried to avoid the news but wasn’t able to avoid reading about what happened at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh.  The message from the 25th making a sense I don’t want it to make.  People shouldn’t have to worry about being shot in their place of fellowship and worship no matter what walk of faith.   We’ve now had Christians, Muslims and Jews all having to deal with this kind of violence.  The Second Amendment has made being a person of faith a difficult gamble in this country.  There is a severe imbalance at work here.   We keep putting band-aids on top of a mortal wound.

Every time this happens we decry the act.  Every time this happens we say, “This isn’t who we are” or “Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families” and guess what….it happens again.  Unresolved wrongs, unresolved revenge and hatred, ancient battles that carries forward to a new generation over and over again.  The answer from our top office, “if they had only more guns or an armed guard may be no one would have been killed or died.”  They’ve tried armed guards and guess what, the guards ran and people died.  In my heart I don’t think just adding more guns to the fight is going to win it.  There is only a returning cycle to such things, no one ever truly “wins.”

This act of terrorism, not just merely a hate crime, is yet another example of why I’m reading about friends who are worried about having to leave this country because of what it’s becoming or what it has always been under the surface.

There is not much I can do to change someone’s mind, heart, thoughts or actions with such volatile matters.  I can do the things I do to include sending positive energy and love to all sides of these equations.  We are all, whether we like it or not, precious parts of a one.  We may be very dysfunctional, some even murderous but we are a family.  I will never stop believing it is possible for all of us to coexist without bloodshed in the headlines every day.

Gunman kills 11 in Pittsburgh synagogue massacre investigated as a hate crime

Deanna Paul, Avi Selk, Amy Wang, Mark Berman

A gunman killed 11 people at a Pittsburgh synagogue during Saturday-morning services in what the Anti-Defamation League called “likely the deadliest attack on the Jewish community in the history of the United States.”

Law enforcement officials said Robert Bowers — a 46-year-old man with a history of making virulently anti-Semitic statements online — was taken into custody after a gun battle with police and is expected to face federal hate crime charges.

“Justice in this case will be swift and it will be severe,” said Scott W. Brady, the U.S. Attorney for the Western District of Pennsylvania. Brady said Bowers could be charged sometime Saturday for what he called a “terrible and unspeakable act of hate.”

Authorities described a rampage at the Tree of Life synagogue, the city’s oldest Jewish congregation, that was stunning in its savagery.

“This is the most horrific crime scene I’ve seen in 22 years with the Federal Bureau of Investigation,” said Robert Allan Jones, Special Agent in Charge of the FBI’s Pittsburgh field office. “Members of the Tree of Life synagogue conducting a peaceful service in their place of worship were brutally murdered by a gunman targeting them simply because of their faith.”

gunman kills eleven in pittsburgh synagogue massacre investigated as a hate crime in Simple Gematria equals: 790

16/8/4/2/1  or 16/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

https://www.gunviolencearchive.org/

2018

Gun violence  and crime incidents are collected/validated from 2,500 sources daily – incidents and their source data are found at the gunviolencearchive.org website.

1: Actual number of deaths and injuries
2: Number of INCIDENTS reported and verified

22,000 Annual Suicides not included on Daily Summary Ledger

Numbers on this table reflect a subset of all information
collected and will not add to 100% of incidents.

Data Validated: October 27, 2018

Interesting things here to look at in these words:

13/4/2/1 or 13 divided by 2 = 6.5 = 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1
494 + 373 = 867
21/3 cycle or 21 divided by 2 = 10.5 = 15 divided by 2 = 7.5 = 12/6/3 cycle
The account that appeared to belong to Bowers was rife with bigoted messaging. His biography on the site read “jews are the children of satan” and his background photo was a radar gun reading “1488,” a popular white supremacist symbol.
1488
21/3 cycle or 21 divided by 2 = 10.5 = 15 divided by 2 = 7.5 = 12/6/3 cycle
Some of what we use to divide us and is often used as justification for much of the above:
religion in Simple Gematria equals: 89
17/8/4/2/1 or 17 divided by 2 = 8.5 = 13 divided by 2 = 6.5 = 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1  (494)
politics in Simple Gematria equals: 103
4/2/1
the media in Simple Gematria equals: 65
11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1
= 257 (77 – same #value as Christ)
14/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1 or 14/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1
(there are many other labels we use to separate ourselves from each other that I didn’t include here.  They are just as volatile in nature as these and it makes me so sad.)

# 22 Aug 2018 The Broken Vase (dream)

Just stopping in for a moment to say hello.  I have been resting today as I’ve had a lot on my mind.  The words to numbers has been pretty steady and has turned out to be a great coping mechanism to help me riddle out things logically for myself.  This morning I worked through through aspects of my life to include some of the major players in it and got some very interesting results.  For example, the total numeric value for my Dad’s full name (186), the numeric value of the phrase “leave home” (86) and for the age I was when I joined the military (18 years and 6 months) all line up!  What’s interesting also – I was born in 1968!  I found out the numeric value of my birth mom’s full maiden name comes to 137 which is interesting because Becker means baker or “to bake”.  Baker = 37!  I was born in Sioux Falls South Dakota and the full numeric value for this is 273.  It’s interesting that it took two to make the reverse version of my mother in numbers 73.  In doing this, I found myself feeling like I’ve finally been let in on the “plan” for my life.  I’m only half way in so that’s not too bad lol!

I went out to do some chalk drawing earlier and just couldn’t do it.  What I did draw I knew was going to take me on a path I’m done treading – the 9/11 bit.  I have to let it go and it’s so hard to.  I want justice for what happened to EVERYONE involved with this and as it seems, there never will be.  At least in this life!

I picked up the foot piece of the Blondie dog statue I had broken in anger a few months ago and examined it.  There was a tiny spider hiding in it.  If you remember, the number value for spider is 71/8 which is the same number value for God of 26/8.

16 Aug 2018 – What came to me about this here was anger being at the center of many problems. Kyle’s message was, “Anger is a symptom of hopelessness” and I agree. There is a core element to the feelings and subsequent actions people take to get relief from how uncomfortable they can become.

I started crying thinking about and missing my Dad.  Ironically the word Dad comes out to 9 in the numbers!  It makes sense this word would be a 9 cycle.  I feel like I literally have “Daddy issues.”   Attachment problems.  I love my Dad (and Mom) so much that I’m afraid to be close to him and have him leave me!  This is stupid I know, but it’s like when my Grandma, his mother was still alive and I would call her.  I used to just end up crying because I missed her so much.  After a point she kind of asked me to stop calling her.  It’s gotten that way with my parents.  The last time Mom and Dad visited my Dad said to me, “You could always come home (274/13/4).”  If it were only that easy to do!  There are so many “if’s” attached to just picking up and leaving when you are grown up!

So I went and took a nap and had a dream that pulls this all together.  Ironically the time I recorded it, 3:01 am (4).

The dream was about one of those decorative,  huge vases you might see in a museum.  There was something about rearranging furniture and this vase fell over and broke.  It had been broken many times before.  There was a discussion about putting it back together but there were so many pieces.

https://www.gematrix.org = online word/phrase calculator

Give (43) Up (39) = 80/8     Resilient = 111/3 (666 in English Gematria)  Broken (65) Vase (47) = 112/4 (4=D for Dad)

Rearrange = 87/15/6/3 cycle   Start (78) Over (60) = 138/12/3 cycle   Restart = 101/2 (# for system)  Reset = 67/13/4 (13 day I was born, 4 for D)

Forget = 71/8  (I see Christ/Devil/God, self in here)

Anger = 45/9 cycle

Forgive = 82/10/1 (I see God (26), 2 people – the one who wants to be forgiven and the one who forgives, spirit (91) and self in this)

Psychological = 145/10/1 (9 cycle is in this number for 1 person)

Psychological Shock = 201/3 cycle (part of what creates PTSD)

Shock = 56/11/2/1

Trauma = 74/11/2/1

Psychological Trauma = 219/12/3 cycle (both 22 and 19 are in here, 22 = 4 which is first letter in Dad)

Assuming KIAs accurately represented age groups serving in Vietnam, the average age of an infantryman (MOS 11B) serving in Vietnam to be 19 years old is a myth, it is actually 22 [CACF]

## history – Was 19 the average age of a combat soldier in …

skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/9772/was-19-the-average-age-of-a-combat-soldier-in-vietnam

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) = 368/17/8 (Eleven September Two Zero Zero One = 386)

Empath = 63/9 cycle — me    Empathy = 88/16/7

He will give his angels charge over you in all your ways – Psalm 91:11= 564/15/6/3 cycle (my Bible cover from my parents)

22 Aug 2018 – Cover of my Bible my parents gave to me many years ago.

By saymber