To be

9 August 2021 Survival

August 9, 2021 by saymber, posted in Uncategorized

Hello to you! How are you doing today? I am doing pretty good. Link and I got around the block once and then I did two laps on my own. It was nice and cool.

Yesterday I went to the Idaho Discovery Center exhibit of the Titanic with my aunt, cousin and niece. My passenger, Ms. Edwina Celia Troutt was a survivor. The exhibit overall was a lot of reading and kind of lean on artifacts I felt.

I can remember how the story of the Titanic captured my imagination as a child and I even wrote a song about it. The thought of so many children dying in the lower decks made me so sad . Then there was of course the movie that really brought the tragedy to life. A heavily romanticized telling of the tale.

It was really nice to be out with family . We went to The Curb afterwards and had a nice meal . They were having trouble keeping staff. They said they had lost two people that day ! Things are changing in the restaurant business . Our waitress didn’t hand us menus we had to have a smart phone . She was saying eventually the trend is going to be no wait staff at all – just order directly front the kitchen ! Sad !!! I guess that’s survival of another kind.

6 August 2021 Stabile

August 6, 2021August 6, 2021 by saymber, posted in Uncategorized

Hello there, how are you ? I’m doing ok this morning. I just finished talking with my therapist about some things . One of the subjects that came up was about the importance of being in a stabile relationship. In order to have that I have to be stabile myself. She and I agreed that I am not entirely stabile myself. So I need to work on that.

Through the stars I cast my gaze , your face is a mystery shrouded in haze. I once knew you well, before the down times before I fell . You were always there to catch me and guide me home, then came the day you left me to fly alone. Why can’t I shake my unrequited love for you ? Why can’t I accept what is true ?

5 August 2021 Pain

Hello to you, how are you today? Is it hot where you are ? As I write it’s a nice 79 degrees. I managed to get Link around once and a lap for me . I may go again later but I’m trying not to overdue it. I have been having some pain in my knees and upper thighs .

I hate that I’m getting older and my limbs get stiff and sore . Oh for the days when I felt invincible lol! Oh for the days when I could lose weight easily and keep it off! The thing is I don’t want to be young again – just pain free! I don’t want to have to go through all that schooling again!

4 August 2021 Chalk Therapy

August 4, 2021August 4, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you . It’s Wednesday and it’s nice out here in Middleton. This morning I tried to get the boo bear out for a walk and he wasn’t having any of that ! So I got a mile in by myself. After some cereal and coffee I decided to take advantage of the fresh driveway canvas. Some chalk therapy! Being outside and drawing is like being in church for me – both peaceful and stimulating for my brain .As of late I like drawing Metatrons cube in chalk the best, the pattern soothes me. I haven’t felt like drawing some of the stuff I used to draw like faces.

Onward soldier we go through the hazards of today we flow we recognize very little of where we have been and most surely will retrace our steps back again. The finger of God points the way to go we will eventually arrive even if our progress is slow

“Chalk therapy ” in the English Ordinal system equals 128 – (a man) ( one process of light and shadow in eternity)

3 August 2021 Science Fiction

August 3, 2021 by saymber, posted in Uncategorized

Hello to you ! How are you ? I am doing ok it’s a warm humid day after some nice rains .

My drawing today I think is based on an Amazon original series called Expanse. I’m not quite done with it yet. It’s got an interesting plot with bioterrorism using an alien life form.

Sometimes science fiction becomes science fact. The plot of the show is plausible . I can see them terraforming Mars!

2 August 2021 Family

August 2, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Writing and blogging

Hello ! How are you ? I’m doing pretty well. We had a nice visit with family yesterday. My cousin and his wife hosted a wonderful brunch in honor of their daughter in law going off to medical school. She has about 4 years of school left . A lot of the family turned out . We enjoyed it very much .

31 July 2021 Mystery

August 1, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Spirituality and Religion

Hello, how are you today? I hope you are well. I’m doing well and enjoying the weekend.

I am sharing another drawing that is a mystery to me. I just pick up my pens and draw and don’t really know what they mean! Sometimes I don’t find out til after I’ve drawn something if there is any meaning at all! I think this one has to do with maintaining a balance on the multiple layers of known existence .

30 July 2021 Forgiveness

July 30, 2021 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! How are you today? It’s really hot here today. I’m about ready for summer to be over! I’m sure I’m not alone with that sentiment.

Well yesterday was a day of sudden changes and today is about forgiveness. Sometimes people do things that they regret. I had to pray a lot about this…. Let God. I could have chosen to shut the door on this person but I don’t think that’s what God wanted me to do . I cannot ignore the red flags and warnings but something tells me these are growing pains. The person in question has been through a lot of troubles too and made mistakes. I have been through a lot too, made mistakes . What if everyone had shut the door on me ? I try to keep that in mind when I am dealing with these sorts of things.

29 July 2021 Sudden Changes

July 29, 2021July 29, 2021 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you how are you today ? I’m doing alright I think . I am in the midst of sudden changes again. I thought I had made a friend but I was wrong . So I am on my own again and I’m lead back to blogging more regularly and drawing pictures that are kind of a reflection of what’s going on in my life . Today’s drawing shows an upside down world in the blink of an eye . I haven’t been using the gematria system lately because it only seemed to make sense to me!

Sometimes it seems like God throws curve balls and the reasons aren’t immediately clear . I have to believe something better is in store for me .

28 July 2021 Helpful or Harmful

July 28, 2021 by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Mental Health, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you doing on this hot day in July? I am doing ok. I was taking an afternoon nap and some thoughts and images started to filter into my my mind . Some of them painful memories like the day my cat Amber passed away. I had to force my mind to think of other things. I had to ask myself if thinking about such a traumatic day was helpful or harmful. The verdict was it was harmful. I don’t want to think about sad/depressing/traumatic things! So I thought of when she was alive sitting in a sunbeam instead. I forced myself to get up and draw too.

I have had to learn mental gymnastics like these past couple of years. If I let my mind wander it can lead me to some pretty dark places if I let it. It’s the same place my feelings are at and I have found that as an empath living by feelings can be emotionally draining and paralyzing .