16 July 2023 Security or Adventure

July 16, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Are you seeking security or adventure?

Hello to you. Just back from church – it was good as always. Got to see and talk to the sweet people there. We discussed psalm 34 and “Mr E.” gave a great testimony about his path to following Jesus. He had his Bible with him when he first got saved – inside he wrote the name and date and signed his name and this was back when he was six years old! It’s really neat to hear what happens to people when they make a path within themselves for God to use them. I have had fleeting glimpses of this in my own life. Those experiences of being in the right place at the right time like a mission from God. I am currently hoping for an opportunity for God to use me- just need to get the physical stuff that limits me out of my way! May be having physical limitations is a way for there to be balance and not overwhelming myself. Only God knows! My many thanks for your continued prayers and support!

Something nice happened too after service my friend Mark gave me a bag of cherries from their tree! They taste really good! He notices when I’m not there and kind of helps me stay accountable.

A thoughtful gift through fellowship and natures bounty – cherries

Todays prompt makes me think of my life this far. I think I have chosen security over adventure as I’ve gotten older. When I was young and had all the world in front of me I think I took more chances – sought out adventure because nothing was really stopping me. I was healthy physically up until when my mental health issues really started mushrooming and that was in my late twenties and early thirties. My forties and up until now have been clouded by the struggle of achieving balance – safety and security versus adventure. There is a part of me that kind of thirsts for adventure but I hold myself back – a lot of times it’s because I don’t want to leave Link. He has become an anchor of what home and security is. When I come home from being gone – seeing him reach up and scratching on the window in excitement makes me feel so loved. Somebody cares that I have returned!

Deuteronomy 4:29New International Version

²⁹But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.

14 July 2023 Getting Better With Age

July 14, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What do you think gets better with age?

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. In a bit I’m going to a psychiatrist appointment with the VA. I’m blessed that my friend Tawna will be going with me. I have to talk to them about the increase in vertigo and feeling more off balance since I started taking a new medication called Abilify. When I turn over in bed or get up from laying down or put my head back to drink I feel off balance. The room moves but I’m standing still. Ugh! When I looked at best medication for bipolar 1 last night and the drugs I’m taking were listed but all had similar side effects – dizziness was a common one. Lithium, a drug I was on before, was listed as one of the best but I don’t think they want me on that again. I would appreciate your prayers about all this!

Todays prompt seems obvious to me – people and animals mostly get better with age but that depends on their health. If you have poor health or have been rough on your body for your early years aging can be really rough. The other things that age well are cheese and wine!

Isaiah 46:4New International Version

⁴Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

13 July 2023 Bedtime

July 13, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What time do you go to bed and wake up currently?

Hello to you. I’m just back from Grace House where we have a prayer meeting each Thursday at 9:30 am. Today it was Lois, Brie and me. We are hoping that may be this fall our group will grow some. I walked over and back. My lower back wasn’t happy but the prayers helped. I have been having some vertigo/swaying spells the past couple of days. I hope this isn’t a side effect of the new medication I’m on! We prayed for my Aunt and Dad too. Just found out my Aunt is having shoulder surgery later this month.

So bedtime and getting up are something I’ve been having to work on. I try to start going to bed at 9 pm and I usually wake up around 8-9 am. It takes me a long time to fall asleep and I don’t like getting out of bed right away. I think the reason I have trouble falling asleep has to do with being on screens before bed time. Last night I didn’t have anything on after lights out and I don’t remember falling asleep! Just takes good practice and consistency I think.

Today was good because I needed to be up early to go to the prayer meeting. It’s good to have a reason to get up and have something to look forward to.

Psalm 4:8New International Version

⁸In peace I will lie down and sleep,
for you alone, Lord,
make me dwell in safety.

11 July 2023 Future

July 11, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What are you most excited about for the future?

Hello there. How are you? I’m sitting out on my porch as I write to you listening to Mind in a Box – one of the concerts I found on You tube. It’s 83 degrees already!

Todays prompt forces me to look ahead. There is a meditation I listen to almost every night that has an affirmation about letting go of the past to make room for the present and future. I honestly don’t know what to look forward to in my future other than losing this extra weight I’ve gained and participating in life as it unfolds for me. I’ve been praying for Jesus to show me where he wants me to be next and the answers are slow in coming. I know they will come in perfect timing….Gods timing not mine. I just have to be open and enthusiastic to it.

Jeremiah 29:11New International Version

¹¹For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

10 July 2023 Harmony

July 10, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What could you let go of, for the sake of harmony?

Todays prompt is something I don’t think of very much as my ideal state of being is one of the least resistance. I like peace and no conflict or if there has to be conflict or resistance it isn’t long and drawn out. I prefer peace and harmony to dissonance. If I have to let go of anything for harmony it’s usually my pride!

Psalm 133New International Version

Psalm 133

A song of ascents. Of David.

¹How good and pleasant it is
when God’s people live together in unity!

²It is like precious oil poured on the head,
running down on the beard,
running down on Aaron’s beard,
down on the collar of his robe.
³It is as if the dew of Hermon
were falling on Mount Zion.
For there the Lord bestows his blessing,
even life forevermore.

8 July 2023 Vacation

July 8, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Home, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Describe your most memorable vacation.

Hello to you. I hope your doing well today. Todays prompt makes me think of so many summer vacations we took when I was a child and also the trips we took while being stationed overseas. It’s hard to choose just one!

The memories I have from childhood kind of run together. I have memories of being on vacation with very close family friends the Daggetts. We rode horses on one trip, mine was named Czar. We went to a dinner theater where one of the characters was scratching like he had fleas and we all started scratching in response! I can remember Dad getting yelled at by us because when he was driving he would take forever to pull over so we could pee! I remember us staying in a bed and breakfast that we were convinced had fleas lol. It was a last resort kind of place as we couldn’t find anything else. I can remember going to Canada and one of the hotels we stayed at had a pool that turned the girls hair green! I remember visiting Williamsburg in Ontario which was really cool. So many little snippets of memories of those trips. It was really a big deal because we didn’t have a lot of money when I was growing up. The fact that my parents made summer vacations possible meant a lot!

When I was overseas stationed at Bitburg ABS Germany we took advantage of Morale Welfare and Recreation trips around the country. We got to see Neuschwanstein Castle (the castle Walt Disney is based on) and got to London. In London we got to see all the major attractions – it was so surreal standing were Anne Boleyn was executed. We rode a train from Frankfurt Germany to Milan Italy. I loved that trip. So much history! I really loved Europe and didn’t want to leave! The food, the people and the sites just made me feel so at home. Like I said, it’s hard to pick just one trip that was the most memorable.

When I look back over my life I have been so fortunate to have been able to have the big vacations but also the little “stay-cations” like we did a lot in Colorado. Going hiking and biking in Colorado – fishing trips – just so many little trips really brought me a lot of joy. Falling asleep listening to the sounds of aspen leaves blowing in the wind on top of Pikes Peak for example. Living in Colorado was aside from Europe, my favorite place I lived.

Psalm 121:8New International Version

⁸the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

7 July 2023 Afternoon Light

July 7, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you? The past couple days I’ve been having a lot of fullness in my ears and with that has come anxiety. I don’t know if it’s the new medication or what.

Have you ever noticed how things look during different phases of sunlight? I can remember reading Walden by Henry David Thoreau and his talking about taking objects from inside his house outside when he cleaned and how different they looked in the sunlight. I can remember when I was really into photography with my first husband Ken how important light was to taking pictures. Early morning and dusk were the ideal times for pictures – the most color saturation:

This is an example of a picture taken at dusk – really saturated color

The cameras we used, like a Nikon, had light meters and everything wasn’t automatic like it is today . Who could of imagined cell phone cameras! They can take still photos and videos like devices we used to use that were much more complicated.

John 9:5New International Version

⁵While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”

6 July 2023 Romantic

July 6, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Home, Movies, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What’s your definition of romantic?

Hello to you. I’m just back from meeting with our little prayer group at Grace House. We had a nice turn out! There were four of us. The walk over was nice yet tiring. I push myself even though I feel like a Weeble Wobble! Do you remember those toys?

Some roses still blooming despite the heat

Now to the prompt – what do I feel is the definition of romantic. I know this will seem weird but when I think of romance a couple movies come to mind and they both have to do with never ending love – Somewhere In Time and Brahms Stokers Dracula. There is something so romantic to me about love that transcends time and space. I can’t watch Somewhere in Time without being a mess afterwards! Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour did such a great job. The dinner date with absinthe and turning tears into diamonds in Dracula is just so romantic! Love the music for both films.

I can remember having an experience like this during one of my hospital stays. There was a young woman named Yamila I met and she seemed so familiar. I asked her if we had ever met before and she said “perhaps in another life.” Such an odd thing to say and it really stuck me. She reminded me of a girl I supervised in the military. Yamila walked, talked and did other gestures just as if I was with Eveline again! Eveline was Dutch and just such a sweet girl – my first troop!

1 Corinthians 13:8-13New International Version

⁸Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹²For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

5 July 2023 Expressing Gratitude

July 5, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

How do you express your gratitude?

Hello there. We survived another 4th of July! The people firing off fireworks last night weren’t as intense as last year. I’m thankful for that! I just had a walk around the block and no loose dogs or cats which is a blessing. We had a wonderful visit with my Aunt, Uncle, cousin and his wife yesterday. Lots of good food – huge hot dogs! They brought the bike over but I couldn’t ride it without feeling like it was going to tip over. My balance just wasn’t there! So we are leaving the bike with them. So another “can’t” on the books. I’m not sure if it’s just because it had three wheels or just me not being able to balance. Everybody else was able to ride it. When they had a two wheel bike I had no problem riding it but that was before I had the swaying issues in my head.

Todays prompt makes me think of my family and friends. So much to be thankful for and the way I have expressed my gratitude has mostly been words these past couple of years. When I was a child, my Mom taught me to write thank you notes when I received gifts for birthdays and Christmas. I haven’t written a thank you note in a long time! Ever since this whatever I’ve got going on in my head, writing with a pen and paper has become more difficult. I’m thankful I can still type and text!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

4 July 2023 Future

July 4, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, history, Home, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What are you most worried about for the future?

Happy Independence Day! I’m looking forward to seeing family today and getting a bike. My cousin had a friend give him a bike that could go to a disabled vet which so happened to be me! We are getting together at my Aunt and Uncles house this afternoon. I am not looking forward to the evening – lots of people fire off fireworks around here and it sounds like a war zone! Thankfully Link doesn’t seem to be bothered by them.

Todays prompt kind of makes me think of Jesus’s message about not worrying or having anxiety about tomorrow:

Matthew 6:34New International Version

³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I used to be a worrier and very anxious about things I had no control over. I still on occasion have anxiety. It does nothing for me! There are things to plan for and look forward to but all I really have control over is my today – the moment I am in. Who knows but God what is going to happen next! Something Kyle my ex used to say to me when I was worrying about something is “what are you going to do about it? If your not able to do anything quit worrying as it does no good.” He was usually right! I can remember one time our front yard was flooding and I was worrying and I had to focus on what I wanted to happen and not on the flooding. Everything was fine – we were watching Twilight Zone and the episode was about an Angel and that comforted me.

In times of crisis I have had to train my mind to focus on what I want to happen not what I don’t. What monster do you want to feed kind of thing. Prayer also helps with focusing on what I want to happen in my present and future. It takes a lot of practice for me not to be a worry wart!