1 July 2023 Keeping Life Fresh

July 1, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. It’s 89 degrees here as I write to you. I was going to sit outside and write but it’s too hot!

My thoughts today turn to thinking about keeping life fresh. Lately my life has been feeling like Ground Hog Day. Very little deviation from routine. Sometimes I will be ready to do my daily sit ups and wonder if I already did them! Inside of me I am wanting more but my body is resisting. What keeps happening is I get this fullness in my ears and I will feel anxious and hypersensitive to my body. The Mal de Barque stuff. My lower back has not been my friend either. I try to walk and I feel like a weeble wobble huffing and puffing almost the whole walk in pain. The only thing that seems to help the hypersensitivity is taking the olanzapine right now. I will be starting to do the taper off of it starting tomorrow. My doctor wants to taper me off of it because it’s notorious, along with the Depakote, for causing weight gain. We are going to try Abilify (aripiprazole) instead of Olanzapine – I hope it works as well for anxiety, weight gain and hypersensitivity.

I try to stay in the understanding that I am blessed to have the life I have even with it’s short comings! As I keep saying it’s not what I can’t do but what I can. Hopefully with the medicine change I will feel stronger and like I can do more to keep my life fresh.

I love seeing roses ready to bloom – especially the two tone ones

Psalm 147:3-5New International Version

³He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
⁴He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.
⁵Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.

30 June 2023 Brains Ok

June 30, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you doing? It’s Friday again – this week went fast.

Yesterday I went with my cousin to an appointment with a neurologist. They didn’t find anything of concern – brains ok! Very short visit. Kind of felt like a waste of time but at least it was good news. The doctor was much more cheerful than the first time we met. Whatever is going on in my head and ears appears to be something non-detectable by standard tests. He said he thinks whatever is going on may be connected to the medication I’m on. I’ve been on Depakote before and didn’t have the side effects I’m experiencing. I think it’s Mal de barque and I’m just going to have to live with it.

What was good about going is I got some quality time with my cousin Laura – that wasn’t a waste of time! We had a nice lunch at Chik-Filet. During our visit she was trying to help me figure out things I can do to get me out of the house more or have something meaningful to do. Both her and my Aunt do that. This is helpful for me as sometimes it’s hard to get out of my own way. The limitations holding me back are mostly physical, not wanting to drive and especially not wanting to leave Link for long periods of time. She had a lot of ideas for me to think about! She encouraged me to think of things I can do not what I can’t. I am hoping with the medication change I will be starting that I won’t be tired so much and will have more stamina – hopefully will lose some weight!

These cheerful painted rocks were out front of the hospital

Psalm 30:2New International Version

²Lord my God, I called to you for help,
and you healed me.

29 June 2023 Different Walk

June 29, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you? Yesterday I took a different walk in the evening and was rewarded with new flowers to see!

Isaiah 41:10 ~ Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

28 June 2023 Overcoming Darkness

June 28, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you? I just had a good talk with my Aunt. She was concerned about what I wrote about yesterday regarding spirituality. She felt it was a little dark and that we need to be moving on from those memories. I reassured her the best I could. I had to remind her that in addition to writing for me I’m writing to help others like me or the family and friends of those like me. By sharing my experience, strength and hope I am hopefully helping someone else who might be going through similar circumstances and have no place to turn to.

What I learned through AA is the more we share our stories of recovery the less it hurts and the more people we help. Each day someone is diagnosed with Bipolar and it can be devastating and overwhelming. I still don’t completely understand it and I’ve been living with it for many years now. I just know Mania and crippling anxiety is what we want to prevent from happening! The Mal de Barque syndrome is also going on too and there is no cure for it or even real tests that can definitely identify it.

My family and friends, my church all encourage me to lean not on my understanding but to lean on God through all of this. I’m trying! I want to make it clear that I’m not seeking sympathy or attention by sharing. I am sharing to help understanding about a condition that doesn’t make sense! There are people who think mental illnesses are something you can just get over and it’s like diabetes or heart disease – you just can’t see it by looking at a person but it’s very real and needs special treatment with both medication and therapy. It’s an inside job until the bad stuff happens and can be seen in behavior!

My Aunt directed me to a great passage in the Bible that she wants to memorize:

Philippians 4:8
New International Version
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Took my phone along for a short walk last night

19 June 2023 Connections

June 19, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hi there- how are you doing today? It’s cloudy here today – hopefully we will get some rain.

I hope these wildflowers come back to the canals this year.

Do you stop loving someone or caring about someone after you sever ties? Move away? That’s one nice thing about the internet is you can stay in touch even if you aren’t living close by anymore. There are so many people I miss and thanks to platforms, despite all its flaws, like Facebook I can maintain contact with. Once I love and care about you I don’t stop unless there is a really good reason. It’s nice to have tools to keep connections alive.

Romans 12:16-21New International Version

¹⁶Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.^[a] Do not be conceited.

¹⁷Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”^[b]says the Lord. ²⁰On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”^[c]

²¹Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

15 June 2023 Passion

June 15, 2023June 15, 2023 by saymber, posted in Food, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What are you passionate about?

Hello there, how are you? I’m just back from our Thursday prayer meeting for our church, it was Pastor Jayson, Lois and me today. There may only be a couple of us but it matters! I walked over and back. I picked up a breakfast burrito on the way home from Tacos El Rancho – they are so filling. I was only able to eat half of it – eat the rest when I get hungry again!

Some lovely blooms from the walk this morning.

Todays prompt asks what am I passionate about and I have to say the controversial – gun control. I don’t like guns! I feel like being able to own a gun should be as tough if not tougher than being able to drive a car. I have always been passionate about this topic as I lost my birth mother and a cousin to guns. I don’t have a problem with responsible gun owners – I have several in my family. The main thing I focus on is keeping guns from those who would harm themselves or others. I don’t have all the answers but putting more guns in the world doesn’t make sense to me.

Matthew 18:20New International Version

²⁰For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

14 June 2023 Season

June 14, 2023 by saymber, posted in Home, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What is your favorite season of year? Why?

Hello there! How are you doing today? I’m doing ok. Link and I are on the porch as I write – it’s nice and breezy and cool. We had some rain with lightening and thunder last night. We need the water!

Some cheerful flowers on the walk last night.

Todays prompt is about what my favorite season is and why. My favorite season used to be fall until I became a home owner LoL! Especially if you have trees on your property. Lots of raking and cleaning up. I would have to say my favorite season after living here in Idaho these past three years is spring. I love watching everything wake up and bloom after the few months of snow and ice.

As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.” Genesis 8:22 NIV.

12 June 2023 Tagline

June 12, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, history, Home, Leading Life by Example, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

If humans had taglines, what would yours be?

Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing ok – just back from a walk around the block – it’s really sunny out. I took a few pictures so you could come along with me!

The neighbor that these belonged to recently passed away

Todays prompt brought to mind “little things.” If I were to have a tag line that would be it. I believe it’s the little things that mean a lot. I’ve talked about that before here. How often is there significant or big events in a life? So much of life is little things and those are what I like to dwell on. How many mornings I wake up to my sweet Link with his messy furry face after emerging from underneath the covers. Stopping to notice and smell flowers big and small, “weed” or cultivated roses. Recently I found out one day for us is a week in a dogs life! No wonder they appreciate everything so much!

One of my favorite Saints lived her life valuing the little things too:

What is the main message of St. Therese?

Saint Thérèse is known as the Saint of the Little Ways, meaning she believed in doing the little things in life well and with great love. She is represented by roses. May everyone who receives this message be blessed.

10 June 2023 Time

June 10, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, history, Home, human rights, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Who do you spend the most time with?

Hello there. How are you doing? I’m doing ok. It’s a beautiful Saturday. Lots of sunshine!

Who do I spend the most time with? My dog Link and my cell phone! Being divorced and untrusting of the internet dating apps and I don’t get out much means spending a lot of time by myself….staying at home.

I would say the other being I spend the most time with is God. I will say though that for the past couple of years my relationship with God has been different. Almost strained if I can use a word for it. I have to work at it more than I used to. This last episode really tested my relationship. I know everyone thinks God didn’t abandon me but that’s not what it felt like to me getting tased by people I was always praying for – the police and fire fighters. May be that’s just what needed to happen to prevent a complete downward spiral and God knew it. I was not safe on my own. I just know our relationship isn’t what it used to be. I try to stay close but some days God seems so far away. Thankfully I have beautiful family and friends to remind me of Gods love for me.

My best friend with paws – Link is Gods feet on the ground to help me not be completely alone day to day

Isaiah 59:1-2New International Version

Sin, Confession and Redemption

59 Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save,
nor his ear too dull to hear.
²But your iniquities have separated
you from your God;
your sins have hidden his face from you,
so that he will not hear.

9 June 2023 Name

June 9, 2023 by saymber, posted in history, Home, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing ok. Link and I are moving kind of slow today and it’s raining. We need the water so grateful for the rain!

Todays prompt is about changing your name. I honestly don’t think I would change it! I already changed my maiden name to my married name. I kind of flirted with a name a couple of years ago for a Facebook profile Julia James. Julia was my confirmation name when I was a little girl still practicing Catholicism.

I was looking at my pictures love this two tone rose.

Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”