Hello there, how are you ? It’s Wednesday or hump day as many people call it. Looks like it’s going to be gray and overcast today.
Yes I’m adorable get back to writing!
When the weather is like this I don’t feel like doing much of anything. All there is for me is writing and writing keeps me going. I’m so grateful for this blog and the people who stop by to visit !
“Who am I in a world of billions, living in a country in debt by the trillions. So many struggling to get ahead, Covid-19 leaving so many dead. Ships stacked with a bunch of goods, shitty sneakers to exotic foods . Water ways starting to run dry, cities scrambling to find a new supply. Who am I in this dream ? Will the human race survive or just keep losing steam ?”
I want to believe this is a world of plenty. It just seems like we don’t manage our resources very well. At some point, on a global scale, water conservation is going to have to be important. I buy water by the gallon jugs from the grocery store. Sometimes when I want to buy water they are out and that kind of scares me. What will have to change in order for us to continue to have enough water? It seems like so many products we use require water as one of its main ingredients .
Hello . How are you today? I am doing ok. I finally decided to go get groceries and it wasn’t cheap and a bit of a scavenger hunt. I spent $103 for just me. I was relieved that they had drinking water but it looked like the toilet paper aisle had been raided. I don’t envy the people that work there trying to keep the store shelves stocked !
So I found a YouTube channel that was interesting: Living Life in North Idaho. The host, Trent has lived in Idaho for 30 years and is a realtor. This video done just a day ago mentions Middleton: https://youtu.be/SxrTGg48npY . He does a variety of videos some of which I wish I had seen before deciding to move here!
I thought about buying Halloween candy today but decided not to. This is my first Halloween in the neighborhood and I don’t know what to expect . There are a lot of kids living here but I don’t know if they go trick or treating or if they are just going to go the trunk or treat route. I miss dressing up with my ex husband and handing out candy. We had a steam punk theme and I had my plasma lamp that I would bring out and light up light bulbs wirelessly!
Do you decorate and celebrate Halloween? I’d love to hear about it!
Hello again. This post will kind of tie in to my previous. I am having one of those days where I just need to write !
So I live in a small town in Idaho named Middleton. It’s near Nampa and Caldwell. We are going through a housing boom in this area. All around the existing “old town” people are building really expensive houses. We have one grocery store called Ridleys that all these new residents go to and I’ve noticed shortages especially of drinking water. Most people I know don’t drink water from the tap. They either have some kind of filtration system or they drink bottled water.
I never thought I would live in a world where you would have to pay twice for water . Pay the city so you can flush your toilet and pay the grocery store so you have water to drink. Drinking water is more precious than oil!
I moved to this town for a reason. One of the biggest is finding a house I could afford that wasn’t a complete dump. I considered renting an apartment but couldn’t afford it. For under $200,000 the only properties that were listed were the type flippers dream about . In some cases you would have to level the house to the ground and start over! The tiny house I found, a mere 734 sq ft, was a manufactured home which is hard to get a loan for but was still in my price range at $190,000. A lot of prayers were answered with my finding of the house!
So I live here now what! I haven’t figured out a way to connect with people here yet. The only people I know here in this state are my family. They all work or are busy with their own lives. I have considered starting a Meetup group but am not sure I want to swallow the $69 startup fee! Most Meetup groups are in the larger cities. I don’t want to have to drive all the way to Boise. I have nice neighbors but they mostly keep to themselves or each other. I’m the odd woman out – no husband and no kids.
There has to be a reason beyond this house for me being here. I just don’t know what it is yet. Something I really enjoyed doing for a time was helping people heal. May be once I’m completely back on my feet God will have a plan about that. May be part of my being here is to heal and get strong again. This small town might just be the refuge God wants for me right now .
Hello to you . How are you? It’s Sunday. I’m writing to you from my little loveseat that I’m currently sharing with two little dogs. We have an overnight guest my Aunts dog named Smokey. Link and Smokey always have a good time together. Both of the dogs are part Maltese and very similar in temperament. They choose their people! If they don’t like you they let you know it!
Two friends
So I should go get groceries but I don’t wanna. I have enough milk to get me by til tomorrow. Truth be told I dread going to the grocery store. I’ve been reading about scarcity and have noticed it myself with things like water and milk. I never thought I would live in a time like this. Then again I never planned on living someplace that is experiencing such drastic growth either!
It’s all part of a phenomenon I’ve noticed for many years. I noticed it a lot when I lived in Colorado and also Florida….unbridled growth. People would visit these places and decide they just had to live there . When you get a bunch of people with this same bright idea before long what they initially loved is gone and paved over with concrete to accommodate all the people. They have destroyed a place with their love. It’s happening here in Idaho and from what it seems all over the country. My neighbor back in Texas told me they are putting in 200 more homes off a already burdened road .
Where are all these people coming from and why? My own move from Texas to Idaho was driven by a divorce. From my experience here buying a home, people are snapping up houses with cash – well over asking price. The only people that could do that have to be coming from higher cost of living places. A lot of the people I’ve heard are doing this are retirement age or close to retirement .
I’ve been reading about and seeing acres of farm land being turned to new subdivisions. I have also heard and read that we are having water shortages. I have to wonder what is the point of having a new house if there is no water to flow into it?!! Water is a finite resource. What is this state going to do to preserve its water resources?
Sigh……
The people that get hurt the most are the people who already live here. Their wages are not keeping up with the cost of living – rising rent and gas prices….everything costs more. A friend of mine was recently job hunting. He has a Masters degree. The jobs that came up only wanted to pay him the same or a little above what McDonald’s would pay a new employee! People have to have liveable wages ! There are shortages all over for jobs that don’t pay worth a darn and don’t offer medical and dental insurance.
It seems like our system is broken. Everything costs more now and I am not entirely sure why. Is is it that there are more people putting a burden on it? Is it due to poor resource management ? For example student debt for doctors . Would we be able to have more affordable healthcare if so many doctors didn’t have student loans to pay off ?
There has to be a better way. I don’t have all the answers – just a lot of questions! I wish leading people who are running these big corporations would take their eyes off their stock portfolios for a minute….stop profiteering. What good is a world overrun by greed? What good is a world where a great majority of people are living with uncertainty, disease and scarcity?
John 1:5 The light shines in the darkness,(H) and the darkness has not overcome[a] it.(I)
Hello again it’s me. How are you doing ? It’s about 8:25 pm here as I write to you. It’s really dark as the sun has set. I am sitting here alone with Link trying to figure out what to do with myself. It’s too early for bed. I could read, I could watch tv, I could listen to music but none of that appeals to me! I was wishing I had someone to talk to so I figured I’d write a little! I hope you don’t mind!
When the seasons change and we lose the light earlier and the sun rises later it really messes with me. My body will wake up and it’s still dark and I will be like “what the fuck do I do now?” I suppose I could be like normal human beings and just get my ass out of bed and do something! No I just lay there and ruminate about random shit until I can’t stand it anymore !
“Darkness the blanket over the season, slips me into the balm of reason. Alas it is brief and only the sun can bring relief. The shadows grow long too soon, the only light is the pale waxing moon. Where is my reason for existence in these everlasting nights, idle hands under phosphorescent lights. A land of creeping shadow hours, illuminated by artificial powers.”
Before electricity we were ruled by nature and her ways. We rose with the sun and went to bed with the moon. With modern advancements like the phone I’m using right now to write this, we are out of sync. We can stay up late when our ancestors were burning candles!
Ah well this is our modern world . The power grid never idles! Thank you for keeping me company awhile. Another long day drifts into shadows .
Hello and good day to you ! How are you ? I’m chilly and sore the day after getting the Moderna shot. I can’t seem to get warm!
I’ve been under the covers most of the morning . My house can’t decide if it’s going to be warm or cold! At night the temperatures are starting to get into the mid 30’s. It’s almost time to turn on the heat !
Are you ready for the change of seasons?
Not much to write about today! My brain is kind of gooey !! I just wanted to say hello .
Hello again. I’m back . One of the things that has always helped me is writing. I always remember Kyle telling me to write for myself even if no one reads it! This blog is a very therapeutic tool for me. If you have stopped by and decide to stay and read, I hope there is something here for you too .
So I have a 734 sq ft home that I share with my dog Link . It’s enough living space for us but it’s not enough of a creating space. All it takes is a couple of things and you have clutter. I had some professional organizers come in and ever since I have not wanted to touch anything! My second room is basically storage. I exist in my house but I don’t flourish in it. I downsized before I was ready and with the housing market being what it is – I’m stuck! Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to have a home I just feel lost In it right now.
“A tiny home to put her shoeboxes in, a place blessed by God to start her life over again. “
I think I just figured out why I have been having so much trouble with feeling at home for so long. After my cats Amber and May died part of me went with them. They were my heart and home . They were always there and then they weren’t . They always used to inspect the things I made and sang me to sleep with their purr. I feel disorientated even writing about this! I miss my little daughters . We lost 4 animals in a short period of time and it wrecked me. Death is my nemesis.
I know God has a plan for me I’m just not sure what it is . So many people figure out what to do with their lives. Why does it have to be so hard for me to figure it out ? I’m 53 dammit!! I don’t get much more time! Why am I still here ?! When will I be home ?
Hello to you, how are you? It’s a beautiful sunny Friday afternoon here as I write to you. The topic that has come up for me today is home, “where is my home?” They say home is where your heart is so I am left asking where is my heart? Well yesterday when I really started thinking about this question, I looked down and I saw Link! Link is 6 years old and has been with me through some of the hardest parts of the storm I’ve been in. When I say I have to go home nowadays I am thinking of Link…”I have to get home to Link.” I’m kind of afraid to get too close to him. What if he leaves me too? What will I have left? I guess I shouldn’t be thinking like that and stay in the moment but it’s hard.
Some day I hope to have a two legged someone in addition to Link to share my life with and home will be redefined once again.
Psalm 84:3-4New International Version
3 Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young— a place near your altar, Lord Almighty, my King and my God. 4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you.[a]
22 May 2020 Link
“woman” in the English Ordinal system equals 66
“happy” in the English Ordinal system equals 66
“where is my home?” in the English Ordinal system equals 166
“cat” in the English Ordinal system equals 24
“home is where the heart is” in the English Ordinal system equals 241
Hello, how are you? It’s a sunny Monday afternoon. I am still waiting on the people I contacted to come and spray the weeds and grass growing in my gavel.
I think it’s important in business or in your personal life that if you make a promise about something that you keep your word.
“lie” in the English Ordinal system equals 26
“keeping your word” in the English Ordinal system equals 206
Not much to write about today but wanted to say hello!
Hello to you. How are you doing today? It’s a sunny and bright day; definitely spring! I noticed some weeds are starting to grow. The people who sold me this place didn’t put tarp down before they laid the gravel so a bunch of grass and weeds are growing through the rocks. I think it would have been better to just have grass but it’s too late now! I ordered a weed eater and and a weed puller so I should be set for basic care of my yard.
So last night I was honored with a visit from a dear friend and we had a long talk about fear. We talk about “feel the fear and do it anyways” a lot. Working through my fear of driving, especially since the accident on Christmas, has been difficult. My cousins and Aunt and Uncle live nearby but I still have to drive to get to their houses and we are working on getting me comfortable doing that. I live in a small town, even smaller than the last town I lived. While this town does have a lot of the basics, you still have to “drive to” to get most things you want or need. In time that will probably change as Middleton is growing like most of the towns surrounding it.
Something else that came up last night in talking about fear was my fear of leaving Link by himself. I realized I can’t even say the word “leaving” without feeling anxious! We figured out I am kind of projecting my human emotions on to Link. I have been left. I have been abandoned and I don’t want him to experience that. A lot of times I fret about going places because I am afraid of how Link will feel without me. This kind of thing happened when I was married too. A lot of the reason we wouldn’t go and do things was because of my fear of leaving the dogs alone. I have to remember Link is a dog not a child!
Finally, it’s important to be able to discern the difference between a legitimate and illegitimate fear. This is when I look for the still small voice to speak up and guide me.
“Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:18 NIV
“Feel the fear and do it anyway” in the English Ordinal system equals 247 (process of light and shadow for left side of the brain all vices in check)
To be 