Category: Bipolar life

26 April 2025 112 Years Old

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, dreams, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. I stayed up until the wee hours of this morning and caught most of the funeral service of Pope Francis. I have mixed emotions – sad yet happy for him to be free of his failing body. I can remember how excited I was when he was first appointed- the name he chose being that of my favorite saint – Saint Francis of Assisi. The job of Pope really takes its toll and it’s sad how his body failed him in the end. They would fix one thing and then something else would happen! I hope the next Pope will have good health.

Last night without realizing who this was from I started reading – this was from my Grandpa Becker. This was his church.
My Grandpa walking my Mom down the aisle. He never recovered fully from her death.

Yesterday would have been my Grandpa Beckers 112th birthday. Last night as I was trying to calm my mind I was lead to grab the tiny New Testament I’ve had since graduating high school. I didn’t realize until I talked to my Auntie today that It was from Grandpa! It’s funny how our loved ones reach out to us. He was in my prayers and on my mind! I told my Auntie today about a vivid dream I had after asking God if my Grandpa was ok in the afterlife. I dreamt that the spirit of Grandpa was in me and we were dancing with Ken my husband at the time. We told my Grandma Becker that we would see her on the other side. We apologized to his wife Charlie as she was the one who found him. Then we tripped and Grandpa popped out of me. The next thing I knew I saw him a ways away about to enter a church and he yelled out “there is life after death if you believe in Jesus Christ!” I woke up so comforted after such a dream! He was in heaven for sure! I miss him very much but know he’s not far away. Each night I pray for him and all those who have left this material world. I ask them to pray for us too!

I read this out of tiny print – one of my favorite passages:

Matthew 5:1-12New International Version

Introduction to the Sermon on the Mount

5 Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2 and he began to teach them.

The Beatitudes

He said:

3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

22 April 2025 Earth Day

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging
How rare and precious the blue marble is

Good evening to you fellow earthlings! Something else we have in common in addition to the red blood that flows in our veins- we share a common home called earth. This precious and rare blue marble is truly one of Gods greatest gifts to us! I am constantly reminded and amazed by her resilience. Just look at a sidewalk that seems so inhospitable to life and yet flowers still grow there with barely any soil. Think of how land can be cleared but if left unattended will be reclaimed quickly by growth. Nearly every harm done to the earth finds a way to make it healing, make it good again.

Back when I was in Texas I spent a lot of time outside. As I spent that time I got really immersed into the nature of plants and the insects that I shared my yard with. I used to sit for hours and just watch and listen. The cottonwood trees became teachers as did the so called weeds. Wasps, spiders and flies showed me things I had never seen before. When I was really still I would ask God what he wanted to do with a single blade of grass I would point at and the wind would either blow it or something would land on it. It seemed in those moments God had a plan for every single thing around me! I felt so close to God in those moments we shared. There seemed to be a collective intelligence in everything be it a blade of grass, trees, flowers, birds and insects. There was a bush in the backyard that I noticed was a whole community. Flies seemed to live and die on it – spiders occupied the same bush like traffic cops. I would watch this bush and its life and death for hours. My little backyard taught me so much – even how to make peace with fire ants! They loved it when I fed them sweet treats! The smartest insects were the wasps and spiders. One day when I was out back a wasp dragged the body of a spider twice its size in front of me like it was showing me what it could do. I watched a wasp in seconds dispatch a spider limb from limb. One time a mud dauber wasp (black) got in the house. I caught it with the pink plastic cup we always used to catch insects. When I took it outside I was surprised to see other daubers seemingly waiting for the one we were releasing! One other surprise with a yellow jacket was watching one seemingly disarming itself of its stinger as I looked at it! I miss my yard and all the inhabitants I spent so much time getting to know. Where I live now isn’t the same – it’s all gravel so I don’t spend much time outside in my yard. I get to see most of nature on my daily walks. I have been enjoying seeing the return of birds and blooming trees and flowers.

Psalm 24:1 (NIV) – Just as we are called to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, we are also called to love the earth simply because it is God’s creation.

20 April 2025 He is Risen

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Food, Home, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging
We had a full house today at Middleton High School – He is Risen! He is Risen Indeed!

It’s a beautiful Easter Sunday. Today’s message was out of John 11 again. Do you believe? Do you believe that Jesus is the son of God? Like Pastor Jayson said there are so many things each day we believe are going to happen from the alarm clock going off to coffee brewing – the car starting when we turn the key. Our belief as Christians each day should be that Jesus is our salvation and unlike so many things we should never take that for granted!

John 11:25-26New International Version

25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; 26 and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

After church Link and I went over to my Aunt and Uncles house for a feast with family and friends. Uncle John made his special ham. Everything was so good! I didn’t stay long as I was feeling very tired. Link has been waking me up in the wee hours the past few nights. We have his annual exam tomorrow so I’ll mention that. My back has been hurting again – thank goodness for Biofreeze! It was good to see everyone on such a lovely spring day. So many of the trees are blooming and smell so nice!

My Aunt Ruth is having a medical procedure in a couple days – please keep her in your prayers.

17 April 2025 Two or Three

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Matthew 18:20New International Version

20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

This passage is one of my favorites and it has applied to our little Thursday prayer group. Today there were three of us. Today marked the seventh year anniversary of one of our groups daughters suicide. She is still grieving the loss as if it were only yesterday. She showed us video she took of a sapling in bloom that had been planted in the place of the shed her daughter died in. So beautiful! I am so glad we could be together to lend support. My prayer request was for my Auntie. She’s been worrying about medical things coming up. I am still praying for a miracle for her!

We keep praying our little group will grow but so far it just hasn’t. May be God has another plan? May be small is best right now? The population of our church consists of mostly younger working couples with children. I am thinking that’s why we haven’t had new people join our group. I will continue to show up!

A bouquet at my Aunt Ruth’s – I liked how it looked in the sunlight

13 April 2025 Going and Lies We Are Told

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you this beautiful and breezy spring Palm Sunday day. I’m home from church and breakfast at the Sunrise Cafe. I almost didn’t go this morning. I set and reset my alarm a couple of times! I’m glad I went. There was a good turnout. My flesh can be so weak sometimes!

Matthew 21:1-3

Jesus Comes to Jerusalem as King

21 As they approached Jerusalem and came to Bethphage on the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two disciples, 2 saying to them, “Go to the village ahead of you, and at once you will find a donkey tied there, with her colt by her. Untie them and bring them to me. 3 If anyone says anything to you, say that the Lord needs them, and he will send them right away.”

Today we were in John 11 which is about Jesus delaying visiting his sick friend Lazarus. The message was about divine timing. The message was also about the difference between physical and spiritual death. Jesus waited until his friend physically died so he could raise him from the dead. From this Pastor Jayson was given two points that were not in our sermon guide. The points were about lies we are told in this life. Lie #1 – being loved means meeting all our needs or getting what we want when we want it. Lie #2 – if it’s hard or hurts it must be bad. I can relate to them both. I struggle with a couple of health issues I have been praying to be healed from and God remains unmoved. I have to remind myself that if and when God is moved does not mean I am loved or unloved in the meantime. Gods calendar is not our calendar! My spirit must remain strong. Nothing is impossible through Jesus!

John 11:11

11 After he had said this, he went on to tell them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.”

8 April 2025 Grandma’s Hands

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, dreams, Spirituality and Religion

Hello there. Just wanted to share a neat dream I had this past night. I dreamt I was massaging an elderly woman’s hands using an energy healing method called Quantum Touch. I could tell she was suffering from severe arthritis. It’s when I asked her where it hurt that I knew it was my Grandma Schmidt. She said “in the middle.” I recognized her voice and got a brief glimpse of her face. Then there was something about Pennie’s and two wooden boxes as remembrance of her and Grandpa. They were boxes like the ones we got all our pets ashes in after cremation. I was about to label the boxes when I woke up. Almost every night before bed I say good night to all my deceased loved ones to include pets. Sometimes that’s means dreams of them. One night I even had a dream of Prince!

I also wanted to mention something positive happened on Monday. A friend from church invited me to join some other ladies from church in making Easter baskets for residents at the assisted living home here in town. There was a great turnout and the baskets came out great! I got to write loving messages on the cards we included with each basket. The women at Grace are so welcoming and loving. I’m so glad I decided to participate. I am going to miss Grace House. The lease is almost up and I’m not sure where we will go next! God has a plan I’m sure.

Psalm 100New International Version

Psalm 100

A psalm. For giving grateful praise.

1 Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.
2     Worship the Lord with gladness;
    come before him with joyful songs.
3 Know that the Lord is God.
    It is he who made us, and we are his[a];
    we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving
    and his courts with praise;
    give thanks to him and praise his name.
5 For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
    his faithfulness continues through all generations.

6 April 2025 Change and Best Pets

by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Bipolar life, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion

What animals make the best/worst pets?

Hello to you. How are you? So much is going on! Be it weather or demonstrators there is a lot of unrest. In my own life I am experiencing change. My church has moved. Last night we gathered at the new location and prayed. I got kind of lost and left early because it was getting dark. Before I left, I prayed with a woman I have a Thursday prayer meeting with, Amy, and her children at the entrance to the building. She was crying and tears fell down her cheeks. So beautiful! This morning the auditorium that seats 900 was almost full! Our prayers the previous night were surely answered! I was a bit overwhelmed as was my elderly friend Roy – the seats were more comfortable but shorter and harder to get up and down in. He sat much of the service. I am not a fan of big crowds so I was a bit out of my comfort zone – I fought the urge I had to flee several times! My friend Jeannie, Roy’s sister-in-law, encouraged me not to give up on things just yet. She was glad I was there so Roy wasn’t alone. I will have to pray about all of this.

I kept thinking of the scene with Mary and Jesus in The Chosen as we read this:

Israel’s Only Savior

43 But now, this is what the Lord says— 

he who createdv you, Jacob, 

he who formedw you, Israel:x

“Do not fear, for I have redeemedy you; 

I have summoned you by name;z you are mine.a

2 When you pass through the waters,b

I will be with you;c

and when you pass through the rivers, 

they will not sweep over you. 

When you walk through the fire,d

you will not be burned; 

the flames will not set you ablaze.e

Best pets – for me it’s a toss up between dogs and cats. Cats are much more independent but have the litter box thing going on. Dogs are more dependent and have their litter box that you need to clean in the yard! I miss the purring and calm nature of my cats. My Amber used to purr me to sleep and I miss her every night! Link is a barker and that’s not very soothing – everything is his job to alarm me about! I think what makes a better pet is your lifestyle. If you work a lot a dog isn’t for you. That’s why when I was active duty we had cats. I think it’s cruel to leave a dog home alone by itself for hours and hours.

23 Mar 2025 The Spirit And The Flesh

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Food, Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. It’s Sunday again – boy do the weeks fly by. Signs of spring are all around. The trees are budding and the daffodils are blooming. I have been enjoying seeing the little birds flitting about and singing their love songs. I have been trying to walk a little further even though my back still bothers me. I try to take Link but sometimes he says no so I take him home and go by myself.

Today we were in Galatians 5 again and the emphasis was on the war that we are constantly fighting between the spirit and the flesh. My personal battle is with food. I enjoy eating and my obese body is evidence of it! I have been looking at some things and it’s possible my liver is not working like it should. I meant to look into a supplement today but forgot at the grocery store today.

Pastor Jayson always comes up with relatable messages in his sermons. For example sin is like our shadow – can’t get rid of it. Fruit trees bear fruit not for itself but for us. The same can be said about fruits of the spirit. Gifts of the spirit are for the common good and fruits of the spirit are for everyone to enjoy. A very timely message for this time of year!

Galatians 5:16-26New International Version

16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever[a] you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality,impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

16 Mar 2025 Letting Go

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I hope today finds you well. It’s beginning to feel like Spring here. Blades of grass are peeking up and the birds are back singing their love songs. I went to church this morning- wasn’t sure my back would let me! I have been taking Aleve and using a roll on my Aunt gave me and that’s helping. I am happy to be fitting into my one pair of jeans! Progress!

Today’s message was out of Galatians 5. What stood out to me is how Pastor Jayson talked about our freedom. Our freedom makes many things permissible but we have to ask in the over all scheme of things is just doing whatever we want beneficial to us and the body of Christ we are a part of. When he talks about his own struggles with food I really can relate!

In a couple hours I’m going to be celebrating my Uncles birthday with family. I’ve decided to use this occasion to share my stuffed animal collection with the grandchildren. It’s been on my heart the past couple of weeks that it’s time for these things to go to a good home and be played with and not just take up storage space. Some of the collection is very sentimental stuff and I’m a little attached but it’s time to let go. Stuffed teddy bears and My Little Pony, for example, are great for young children. My cousin said it was ok to bring them over today so I am. They have a playroom designated for the littles when they come over and these new additions will get lots of use!

Galatians 5New International Version

Freedom in Christ

5 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

2 Mark my words! I, Paul, tell you that if you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all. 3 Again I declare to every man who lets himself be circumcised that he is obligated to obey the whole law. 4 You who are trying to be justified by the law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. 5 For through the Spirit we eagerly await by faith the righteousness for which we hope. 6 For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

7 You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? 8 That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. 9 “A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough.” 10 I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion, whoever that may be, will have to pay the penalty. 11 Brothers and sisters, if I am still preaching circumcision, why am I still being persecuted? In that case the offense of the cross has been abolished.12 As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves!

Life by the Spirit

13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love.14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”[b] 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever[c] you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

16 Feb 2025 Turning 57

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging
We celebrated my cousin and my birthday at Olive Garden in Nampa today

Hello to you! Hope this finds you well. Today was a good day. I celebrated my 57th birthday with my cousin who shares the same day – he’s 61. Our birthday was on the 13th and we had planned to get together then but the weather wasn’t good. We had a fantastic meal with family at Olive Garden today. Boy did I get full! I had cheese raviolis with meat sauce. The free dessert I chose was Tiramisu and boy was that good! It is strange to be 57. Where has the time gone?!! It was so nice to share the occasion with family and I am grateful for that. One of the special things about living here in Idaho is having family to share special occasions like this with. As I get older I appreciate things like having family more and more. Many are not so blessed at my age!

  • 1 Corinthians 10:30-31“If I take part in the meal with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of something I thank God for? So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God”