Writing and blogging – Page 75

2 October 2021 Dream

October 2, 2021 by saymber, posted in animals, dreams, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello. How are you today so far ? It’s 7:13 am as I write. It’s still dark and it’s cold. I don’t want to get out of bed. I had one of those dreams that you wake up from and your heart aches.

I dreamt about my cat Amber and the family dog Spot. It hurt so much I had to turn to Jesus and now I want to cry .

I don’t know what to do with attachment . I get so attached to the people and animals in my life . In Buddhism attachment leads to suffering . This is so true! How do I live this life without getting too attached? Without suffering?

As I said I turned to Jesus this morning and the message was. “Write .” So I’m writing! That’s the nice thing about this blog is you can write as much or as little as you want. I will probably write more later! It’s just what I need right now . Writing for me is therapy !

So why Jesus ? Why turn to Jesus when I had a dream that was so close to my hearts desire ? To be reunited with lost pets ? Because I actually feel something. When I say or think that name I feel comforted. There is a warmth that comes like a filling up inside. I don’t feel so alone. I feel like I can handle what I’m facing a little better. It’s like calling on an old friend that seems to always be there waiting to help !

All this because of a dream. Is it a coincidence? God works in mysterious ways ! Perhaps this is a gentle reminder to not lose my faith ? Perhaps in writing this I am helping someone else not lose their faith either ? So much happens in this world that doesn’t make any sense. All these pieces of an intricate puzzle finding their place.

Sometimes it’s all you can do is hold on and hope your own light doesn’t go out. It can be so easy to lose your faith if it’s grounded in this world. This world slips away so easily. You need something to hold on to that won’t go away like people and pets do . Is that why people hold on to the Bible and other sacred text? It would make sense ! You can call on Jesus any time day or night and he doesn’t charge you for an office visit !

I need to get my butt out of bed. Thank you for your company. Like I said I’ll probably be back a little later!

1 October 2021 Hugs & Blogging

October 1, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Mental Health, Writing and blogging

Hello to you ! How are you doing today ? It’s the beginning of the month already! This year has gone by so fast hasn’t it? My knees allowed me to get a couple laps in. They have been aching. Just found out there are almost 2,000 more cases of Covid here in Idaho ! I’m surprised they aren’t mandating masks again . I have family that was vaccinated and still got sick!

This morning my mind turns to hugs! I love to give and receive them. I don’t know if there is any documented evidence, but I think there must be health benefits! When I think of the mechanics of a hug it’s like putting two powerful batteries together for a few moments. It feels good. It’s like sunshine on the heart !

“Embrace me let your light shine on my heart, may the warmth last long after we are apart.”

Writing this blog has become an everyday thing I do. It helps me connect with people I wouldn’t ordinarily meet. It makes me feel useful. It helps me feel less lonely….like I have someone to talk to. Oftentimes I don’t want to finish a blog because then there will be silence! For some reason when I blog I connect with my internal “voice.”

Writing this blog gives me purpose. It’s always my hope that someone will read it and something will resonate. I think it’s a way to connect with the God of my understanding. This blog and the drawings I do each day are the highlight of my day.

“Welcome to a corner of my mind, a place to relax for a moment and unwind. A message may be just for you, a message just for me by the time the day is through. They call this exchange we are having a blog, for me it is a daily log. A daily accounting of my life, joys, tribulations and may be some strife . Thank you dear reader for stopping by, I hope you find something here for you and you’ll say hi “

30 September 2021 Warm and Cold

September 30, 2021 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Nature, Writing and blogging

Hello and good day to you ! How are you ? I’m chilly and sore the day after getting the Moderna shot. I can’t seem to get warm!

I’ve been under the covers most of the morning . My house can’t decide if it’s going to be warm or cold! At night the temperatures are starting to get into the mid 30’s. It’s almost time to turn on the heat !

Are you ready for the change of seasons?

Not much to write about today! My brain is kind of gooey !! I just wanted to say hello .

29 September 2021 Home

September 30, 2021 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Home, Mental Health, Writing and blogging

Hello again. I’m back . One of the things that has always helped me is writing. I always remember Kyle telling me to write for myself even if no one reads it! This blog is a very therapeutic tool for me. If you have stopped by and decide to stay and read, I hope there is something here for you too .

So I have a 734 sq ft home that I share with my dog Link . It’s enough living space for us but it’s not enough of a creating space. All it takes is a couple of things and you have clutter. I had some professional organizers come in and ever since I have not wanted to touch anything! My second room is basically storage. I exist in my house but I don’t flourish in it. I downsized before I was ready and with the housing market being what it is – I’m stuck! Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to have a home I just feel lost In it right now.

“A tiny home to put her shoeboxes in, a place blessed by God to start her life over again. “

I think I just figured out why I have been having so much trouble with feeling at home for so long. After my cats Amber and May died part of me went with them. They were my heart and home . They were always there and then they weren’t . They always used to inspect the things I made and sang me to sleep with their purr. I feel disorientated even writing about this! I miss my little daughters . We lost 4 animals in a short period of time and it wrecked me. Death is my nemesis.

I know God has a plan for me I’m just not sure what it is . So many people figure out what to do with their lives. Why does it have to be so hard for me to figure it out ? I’m 53 dammit!! I don’t get much more time! Why am I still here ?! When will I be home ?

29 September 2021 Strange World

September 29, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Food, Writing and blogging

Hello to you as you visit me here today . How are you ? I went and got my second Moderna shot this morning and got groceries. So far so good with how I’m feeling!

Something I was noticing today as I shopped is it feels like our local store is having trouble keeping things in stock . I’m never sure if there will be enough bottled drinking water. With more people living here and the tap water not tasting very good I guess that makes sense.

It feels like we are living in a strange world. As a kid I used to drink water from the tap and from the garden hose on a hot day. Now it has to be filtered a bunch of times to be suitable to drink . Did you ever think we would come to this ?!!

28 September 2021 Wet and Gray Morning

September 28, 2021September 28, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Writing and blogging

Hello there. How are you this morning ? It’s wet and gray. I tried to go for a walk and it started pouring! Now I have the chills and just want to cuddle with Link! I am grateful for the rain though. We don’t get much rain here!

I had some ideas of pictures to draw today but it’s just not the same drawing without some sunshine! May be later! Today feels like a day to rest .

“Pitter patter a wet drumbeat on my eaves, out in the yard the breeze plays with the fallen leaves. A day of rest a blanket pulled to the chin , closing of eyes going back to sleep again . “

A happy birthday wish to my cousin Heidi today!

27 September 2021 Early Riser

September 27, 2021September 27, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Writing and blogging

Hello! How are you? I’m sitting out in the morning sun and it feels good. This morning has been a bit of mental gymnastics.

I am having trouble writing today. Thankfully there is the morning sun and it feels good against my skin. Some days I feel so out of sorts ! It seems to come out of nowhere and all I can do is ride through it . Is it this?! Is it that?! Walk around the block a couple of times. Eat an extra meal ! I’ll figure it out !!

26 September 2021 Pictures

September 26, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Nature, photography, Writing and blogging

Hello and good day to you! How are you? It’s already Sunday as I write you. Hard to believe the weeks go by so fast . I feel like when Halloween gets here a mystical fast forward button gets pushed on the rest of the year!

The pictures loaded for me this morning that my friend took at the Lowe Family Farmstead:

Their pumpkin patch where you could go pick a pumpkin

The sun chases away the night, shimmering through brilliant shades of fall crisp and bright. A new day has begun, for all Gods creatures each and every one.

25 September 2021 Pumpkin Patch

September 25, 2021 by saymber, posted in Writing and blogging

Hello to you today! How are you ? It’s a beautiful Saturday morning as I write to you . I’m sitting on the front porch getting some vitamin d!

Well I told you we were going to the Lowe Family Farmstead pumpkin patch in Kuna. We both agreed it was a little expensive for what there was to do before 5 pm. If we had brought kids it probably would have been different. All that said we had a nice time together and got a nice walk in to include a walk through their blown up dragon named Rusty. You could pick your own pumpkin for like .43 cents a lb. we decided to just look and take our chances at the grocery store if we decide to carve a pumpkin this year. They didn’t have much for food before 5 pm but my friend did get a hand dipped corn dog that he said tasted pretty good!

My friend took some really good pictures and I was planning on sharing them but for some reason I can’t load them. May be tomorrow ! I hate it when things don’t work right.

24 September 2021 Plans

September 24, 2021 by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Writing and blogging

Hello there! How are you ? It’s starting out to be a nice day. I’m sitting on my front porch and it’s a cool 52 degrees! The morning sun makes it really comfortable . I got my mile walk in.

So in a few hours I have plans to go with my friend to a pumpkin patch in Kuna. I’m really looking forward to it . When you live alone like I do, having plans to do something is a big deal. It’s nice to have someone to go do things with.

I wish we could take Link but he gets a little too fired up about strangers .

The morning beams reach to the vaulted sky, off to distant corners the birds stretch and fly . I look to faraway paths I haven’t tread, I listen for whispers of stanzas I haven’t said. There is a plan unseen floating before my day, I reach into the ether for the scripted play.