Category: Health

9 April 2021 The Program

by saymber, posted in dreams, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you doing today? It’s 9:05 am on this TGIF morning. I had some weird dreams last night one of them was of watching people making a blue drink to make “blue bloods.” The other that I remember was seeing shadows of three crucifixions and one kicked one of them down and it became a shadow of a chair. Not sure what the blue bloods was about but the other was may be about Jesus being crucified so I could have rest – rest symbolized by the chair. What do you think?

Yesterday I started listening to the Lucinda Bassett Attacking Anxiety and Depression (Attacking Anxiety and Depression Midwest Center for Stress 16 Cassette Tapes | eBay) program and so far it’s pretty interesting. I need to do more than just listen but that’s all I have the energy to do right now. What I have found interesting is some of the people interviewed were completely off anxiety medication. They didn’t consider anxiety and depression a mental illness but a temporary condition. You have to learn how to talk to yourself in a positive manner.

They suggest getting an exercise program to help combat anxiety. I never thought that would be a problem for me. I have been an active person for most of my life but this past year since the divorce I’ve become quite sedentary. I’m looking forward to more steady warm weather and may be then I will get out and walk more.

“life” in the English Ordinal system equals 32

“Attacking Anxiety and Depression ” in the English Ordinal system equals 327 (yes, no, may be light and shadow existence all vices in check)

6 April 2021 Ask

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you doing today? I am doing better. For some reason mornings until mid-afternoon are tough for me . Today I prayed for divine help. I specifically asked for Jesus’s help because I am so sick of feeling and thinking the way that I have been this past year. I feel like such a pathetic human being when I’m like this! A possible answer to the prayer came via a long phone call with a friend who has a program she is going to give me to try. It worked for her and she’s hoping it will work for me.

I let my feelings control my thoughts a lot of time. I must learn to control my thoughts in spite of my feelings. This kind of goes back to my post about feeling the fear but doing it anyways. I don’t know if it’s because I’m an empath or what but my feelings have always seem to override my thoughts. I think there has to be a healthy balance with my gifts and living this life.

This scripture resonated:

Ask, Seek, Knock Matthew 7:7-8

7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

So I have asked and have been seeking so we’ll see what we find.

“all” in the English Ordinal system equals 25

“Ask, Seek, Knock” in the English Ordinal system equals 125

4 April 2021 Resurrection

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you on this day of hope? Today we are reminded of the resurrection of Christ and some people it’s celebration of the Spring Equinox Eostre. A lot of Christian holidays have their origin in pagan roots it was how they got many pagans in Christs time to convert to Christianity (7 Pagan Festivals We Still Celebrate Today | Through Eternity Tours).

I was looking for the scripture passages about the resurrection of Christ this morning and stopped looking after I read Matthew 27. It’s such a dramatic moment! It must have been terrifying to be there:

Matthew 27:50-56New International Version

50 And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.

51 At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split 52 and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. 53 They came out of the tombs after Jesus’ resurrection and[a] went into the holy city and appeared to many people.

54 When the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, “Surely he was the Son of God!”

55 Many women were there, watching from a distance. They had followed Jesus from Galilee to care for his needs. 56 Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joseph,[b] and the mother of Zebedee’s sons.

Something that bothers me about this is the rising of the dead from their tombs. What actually happened that day? Did people actually rise from the dead and walk around? I am reminded of what happened to me back in 2002 when I had my first major episode/experience. I was in the Emergency Room in Florida and could feel myself getting really cold. They wanted me to lay down but I said I couldn’t otherwise I would slip out of my body, I could feel it happening. Then a man came in with warm towel and and they gave me some fluids and I felt better than I have ever felt in my life. Suddenly there was beeping sounds of machines in the almost all the rooms around me. This was the first time I felt like Christ was within me. There is much more that happened after all this but I won’t go into it now.

They say it’s not uncommon for this sort of thing to happen with a psychotic break; a Messiah complex (Messiah complex – Wikipedia). It felt like more than that. What happened to me? I was alive but felt like I was going to die, just slip out of my body. Was it just dehydration, a psychotic breakdown or a resurrection? It’s hard to say!

“one six five ” in the English Ordinal system equals 128 (one light and shadow process for eternity)

“resurrection ” in the English Ordinal system equals 165 (one all vices in check but one for the senses)

“Messiah complex” in the English Ordinal system equals 162 (one all vices in check but one light and shadow process)

3 April 2021 Finding Comfort in Food

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Food, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you doing today? I am doing ok. It’s a lovely sunny day here in this little town of Middleton ID. Gradually I am getting used to living here but miss some of the comforts of where I lived before namely food places to eat. When I lived in Alvarado we had a lot of fast food places really close to the interstate and they were easy to get to. Now if I want anything like that I only have Subway to choose from for commercial food places and anything else is having to drive to get it. I guess I should be grateful for that as I might eventually lose weight!

One of the things I have been doing this past year to cope with my depression, boredom and loneliness, is finding comfort in food. I especially have problems with sugar. They say sugar is as addictive as cocaine on the brain and I believe it! I haven’t been cooking for myself because there is so much waste and I just can’t justify the effort. I know that sounds pathetic but that’s just how I feel. Lately I have been making use of Grub Hub food delivery service. It’s expensive but I only do it as a treat. Paying a little more for somebody else to go to a food place and bring it to my door is worth it sometimes! Eventually I imagine I will get back to baking and cooking.

Here are a couple words and phrases in the numbers and how I interpreted them:

“lie” in the English Ordinal system equals 26

“dog ” in the English Ordinal system equals 26

“Finding comfort in food” in the English Ordinal system equals 216 (a light and shadow process for one with all vices in check but one)

“one” in the English Ordinal system equals 34

“gluttony” in the English Ordinal system equals 134 (one yes, no, may be for the brain)

“all” in the English Ordinal system equals 25

“addicted to food” in the English Ordinal system equals 125 (one light and shadow process for the senses)

“world ” in the English Ordinal system equals 72

“boredom ” in the English Ordinal system equals 72 (all vices in check in a light and shadow process)

“loneliness” in the English Ordinal system equals 124 (one light and shadow process for the brain)

“depression ” in the English Ordinal system equals 124

30 March 2021 Cast Your Cares

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you today? I am doing ok, the day is getting better. This morning I was having a bit of a struggle with myself regarding going to get groceries or not. I prayed about it and heard a small voice say, “Cast your cares.” I remembered that being something Joyce Meyers husband David says her a lot when she’s fretting about something. I decided to look up where that scripture came from:

Psalms 55:22

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.

There was a time in my life when doing chores and other things wasn’t a big deal. For some reason everything is a big deal now. Every day I have to push through this invisible wall to get things done. It’s a physical thing where I will think about doing something and I will almost immediately get a panicky feeling in my gut. A wall of anxiety goes up. It’s that feeling I have to work through to actually accomplish anything. I am taking medication to try and help with it but it doesn’t always work!

“planet” in the English Ordinal system equals 68 (all vices in check but one for eternity)

“Where do I belong God” in the English Ordinal system equals 168

“Cast Your Cares” in the English Ordinal system equals 168

(In the numbers it’s interesting how todays message lines up with yesterdays!)

I know I have to keep strong and have faith that I am on the right path. I asked for God’s strength and I got it. I got to the grocery store, bought what was on my list and got back home again.

27 March 2021 Content

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello, how are you? It is Saturday as I write to you and it’s a beautiful, sunny day.

I was trying to think of something to write about today and the word content came to mind.

Philippians 4:12-13New International Version

12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

This passage really stood out today. It can be difficult when you are in the moment of crisis to be content like the passage describes. For example when I was having surgery back in August 2005 to have a fibroid cyst removed. Prior to the surgery I was anything but content! I was so scared! Everything ended up being alright thank God. I prayed and cried so much!

I suspect a lot of my worry, anxiety and fear comes from not leaning on God enough and that’s because I am kind of a control freak. If I don’t have complete control over a situation I feel powerless. If I am ever going to reach the level of contentment I want I have to let God be God!

“spirit” in the English Ordinal system equals 91

“content” in the English Ordinal system equals 91

23 March 2021 Guidance

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you ? I am doing ok today. I got Link out for a walk early and sought to hear God’s voice and all I heard was the wind!

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left , your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it” Isaiah 30:21 NIV Bible Promises for You

It seems like I have been seeking more guidance from God and the harder I try the more difficult it has become. Talking to God used to be almost effortless. I have had to ask where is God really?! Is God in the wind? Is God in another persons voice? Is God in something to read?

I guess I am missing my manic relationship with God. When I was manic it felt like I was in a constant conversation with God and had to exert little to no effort. God was with me when I wanted to draw, write, sing, take photographs — all the ways I used to express myself God was there! I guess not being manic is the price my creative self is having to pay.

I have to believe that God has some sort of plan for me and what I’ve have been going through. Sometimes I wonder if what I’m going through is just God adding to my personal resume! God knows from my past that I will use my pain to help someone else. What I have learned from the past is we aren’t put through anything more than we can handle and what we go through can be used to connect more deeply with someone else.

Not many people know about what it means to be Bipolar and my family has had to learn a lot from me and what I have shared with them. God had me draw the mental health card for a reason and I will continue to seek guidance on where God’s voice is as I continue to go through that.

“body” in the English Ordinal system equals 46

“guidance” in the English Ordinal system equals 64

15 March 2021 Sugar

by saymber, posted in Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Food, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you ? I hope this finds you well. We are having beautiful weather right now and I am so grateful. I am hearing places like where my parents live and some of my friends are having a spring blizzard!

Well this morning I was asking for a topic and the one that came through above all the others was “Sugar.” Since my divorce and all that has been going on in my life, I have gained a lot of weight. A big part of of the weight gain is I have been seeking comfort in food. I have had a lifelong addiction to sugar. Sugar has always been a big part of my diet in whatever form I can get it. Sometimes it’s natural sugar and most other times it’s cookies, candy and things that I drink. My particular Biome, little earth inside my gut, just seems to run on the stuff . If I don’t get enough of it, I act like someone who is in withdrawal from another addictive substances.

It seems like if I am not addicted to one thing it’s something else. I want to claim victory over addictive substances and can’t entirely do it on my own!

Just this morning I was listening to a recent teaching by Joyce Meyer. She brings up a good point that what we think about gains power. So in order to have victory over sugar I need to talk to myself and be in prayer with God like I already do have victory over it. This Is a lesson I have been taught time and time again and I just need to put forth the effort to show I have learned it. Today I have to go the grocery store and I will be tempted! I will need to put on my holy armor!

Ephesians 6:10-18

The Armor of God

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Psalm 17: Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings – thinking of my Grandma saying to me when I visited her one time that I was the apple of her eye!

“sugar” in the English Ordinal system equals 66 (all vices in check but one TWICE so an entire self submitting to addiction)

13 March 2021 Walk

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you how are you this day? I am doing pretty good. Just got back from a nice walk with Link. The past couple of days have been really beautiful – warm and sunny. I am looking forward to spring and more days like this.

Now you ask why the title “walk.” Well I asked for a topic and that is the word the came through loud and clear. May be my brain was catching up to that’s what we were doing at the time I asked lol! I don’t know! I looked up the word Walk in my NIV Bible and there are several references; like 211 of them. Here is one for example: John 8:12

12 When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

Now to talk about walks/walking in the context of my daily life it’s a vital part of it. I can’t even say the word without Link perking his ears up! We try to get out at least once to two times a day if the weather is nice. Walking replaced running for me because my knees got bad from running so much when I was younger. Walking has always been a great therapy too – walk up to 40 minutes to kick in the “happy chemicals” in the brain.

Some of my best memories are from walks with my husband, family and friends. Seeing rainbows, flocks of birds, elaborate spider webs, trees and flowers. No matter how “ugly” the place I have been, I have always managed to find the beauty in the midst of it. When you walk with God you walk with all of your senses not just for exercise. I’m grateful that I am able to walk!

Lets see what the question I ask Link is in the numbers:

“do you want to go for a walk?” in the English Ordinal system equals 282 (light and shadow process with eternity in between)

9 March 2021 Getting That Sunshiny Feeling

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello, how are you today? I hope this finds you well. Today I wanted to talk about a nice yet elusive feeling I got this morning after getting my taxes done at H & R Block. I had been really nervous for weeks leading up to deciding to do my taxes. Turns out there was nothing to really worry about! My little prayer before being called back helped I think!

As I drove home from the appointment, I started to feel that sunshiny feeling in my gut – warmth and relief. Part of me thinks the feeling was also having a sense of accomplishment at completing a task I had been dreading. I even went to our local burger joint and ordered lunch to celebrate!

I have started to notice a pattern for me. I have a habit of making little things big. All I have to do is go through whatever it is and it’s like it was never a big deal after all! I really like the sunshiny feeling ! I think it is good for me to have something to do, may be on a more regular basis (besides taxes!) that evokes these feelings. I will have to pray on it and see what doors God opens!

“balance” in the English Ordinal system equals 38

“getting that sunshiny feeling” in the English Ordinal system equals 318