4 Aug 2025 Joy

August 5, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Mental Health, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Describe one habit that brings you joy.

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. Today’s prompt isn’t easy for me to answer. It should be after all Joy is literally my middle name! There isn’t one habit that springs to mind that brings me genuine joy. Ever since the divorce and changing from Lithium to Depakote feeling genuine emotion has been hard for me. Sometimes it feels like I am an actress playing a part of a human being. Prior to what happened to me about three years ago, I was a very emotional person. Tears and belly laughs came to me easily and that’s just not the case anymore. I have become a very serious person in my old age. I miss the silly and youthful woman I used to be!

The things that use to bring me joy and fulfillment aren’t a part of my life now. I use to crochet, make wire jewelry, experiment in my kitchen, draw, write poems and short stories, take lots of pictures, spend time with nature, sing and dance. The only things I still do is this blog and from time to time is take nature pictures! I guess I just haven’t found a way to completely fill the void getting divorced left in me. Loving Jesus is gradually healing me but it’s taking time! He is the great physician and I know in his time he will restore me to my best self again.

Picture from a walk with my cousin Laura a couple years ago

James 4:8-10New International Version

⁸Come near to God and he will come near to you.Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts,you double-minded. ⁹Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.¹⁰Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

13 January 2022 Updates

January 13, 2022 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, In the News, Mental Health, Music, Social media, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. There are updates to my post this morning! Well turns out my Aunt didn’t have her knee surgery after all! There are no hospital beds in the Treasure Valley (that’s what they call the area we live in). I can’t believe they waited til the day of her surgery to tell her! They have no idea how much she’s been dreading this. Anyhew she is fine with it and just looking at the delay as Gods will. I can stop worrying !

I went to my medicine doctor today and we decided to try a different anti anxiety medication. He is having me try an antihistamine called Hydroxyzine. He was concerned that I had a panic attack Tuesday and that the Zyprexa just made it worse! So continuing with the Lithium for the Bipolar and trying something new for anxiety.

This morning I found out something upsetting in the Twitch community. A streamer I’ve been following, New Baroque, a violinist, is having to take a break from chatting because he’s getting bullied on and off stream! If you have ever seen one of his streams it’s just shocking anyone would be mean to him! Nick is one of the nicest people on Twitch! Yesterday I watched another popular streamer I follow, Barnacles, have a bit of a meltdown after there was an intense discussion about religion and he was worried he had offended one his favorite moderators who is a Christian. Turns out she seemed to leave only because her internet was flaking out! Barnacles was gutted and his stream was abruptly cut short. Being a streamer – heck just social media – can be brutal! If you have a heart it’s hard to take some things. So far I have not experienced any bullying or trolls on my streams – thank God!

28 April 2020 Invisible guardians at the Gate to my Soul

April 28, 2020April 28, 2020 by saymber, posted in Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you wherever and whenever you are as you visit here. I just wanted to write a note to let those who might have wondered where I went to. My blog kind of has been getting put on the back burner with life stuff. I’m sure anyone who blogs or has life going on with the latest stuff we have going on as a world can relate. There have have been more important things going on and stuff like this is usually the first to get left behind.

Instead of focusing on what has gone wrong the past couple of months in my life I’ll focus on on the most important thing – what I learned that has helped me.

I was recently in a treatment facility and I am grateful for it because I have finally come to realize what my husband and others have been trying to tell me – in order for me to be able to function/operate in the world I’m in, I have to be on medication to help me do that. I have resisted and fought against that concept for the longest time and after everything I went through the past couple of months, I have realized resisting is against my best interest. I have had to do say those words a lot lately, and it might be too late in some cases, “You were right, I was wrong, please forgive me.”

I am a very porous, spiritual empath and unmedicated, my gifts are so strong I can’t function in the “real world.” The treatment plan I have isn’t being overly medicated so that my gifts are completely surpressed, but enough so that I have the clarity I was lacking…..the filter….the invisible guardian at the gate to my soul. The greatest guardian besides the God of my understanding, is turning out to be Lithium. I don’t like some of the side effects but they are minimal in light of most other options before me.

Anyhew – just wanted to share a couple thoughts in case anyone out there was still following my blog here. I hope something I’ve shared here will resonate with someone today and be helpful.

My prayers are with everybody right now and thanks to all those I’ve dealt with personally and those I haven’t on the front lines of all the crisis we have as a shared world right now. Anyone reading this that is having difficulty – please know you are a blessing to someone even if it’s not immediately obvious. Be a light – let your light keep shining even if it’s only on a dimmer switch!