Hello to you. Today begins on a somber note. The first thing I’m thinking of is Henry. I just found out Henry, another one of my ex families dogs has cancer and probably will only be with us a couple of months. He has rectal cancer – a big tumor. Henry is one of those dogs that you just love at first sight. He is a Yorky.
This is the last time I saw Henry – 25 May 2020 what a sweet boy!
Henry came into our lives as a stray. My mother-in-law Beth saw him by the side of the road. She opened her car door and when he came to her she called him Henry. He responded to the name and got in the car with her and that was that! Henry and my dog Spot love each other. I can remember dog sitting Henry and he and Spot played on our bed for like an hour straight. Spot got a bump on her lip for it lol! They were making out!
I remember what it was like losing my Sam, Blondie, Amber and May. This poem really speaks to this:
This applies to cats too for me! I had wonderful cats.
If you pray, please keep little Henry in mind and Beth and Tim his owners. Henry is the third of my exes family dogs to get sick. We lost Smokie, Jack and most recently Titan. When we had family gatherings we had lots of dogs! They would line up at Beth’s pantry for treats. I just hope Henry is comfortable and doesn’t suffer. I feel sure Tim and Beth will make sure of that. They love their dogs like I do – they are family.
I’m grateful Link is in good health. We went to the vet yesterday and other than his teeth and being a bit chubby all is well.
Todays prompt is making me do something I don’t normally do anymore and that is predicting or and projecting my future. Ten years is a long time! If time goes at the rate it’s going I see myself still here in Idaho and possibly having met a nice man for companionship. I am a little slow when it comes to doing things! Sadly I will have to deal with the heart break of Link probably passing on in that time and I don’t know if I will want to go through another life cycle of a pet. Not something I’m looking forward to! I can’t even really talk about it without getting upset. He’s the first dog I have known since he was a newborn puppy.
There are other potential losses I may experience in a ten year life span – it will be crushing. My generation is one where the generation ahead of us, Baby Boomers, are aging out. I think of family photos where so many of the people in them are no longer here with us. God willing, what is coming in the next years will be bearable and not all at once. When I get overwhelmed with grief is when I have had my breakdowns in the past.
A interesting passage from the Bible about time and being human:
Ecclesiastes 3New International Version
A Time for Everything
3 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.15 Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account.[b]16 And I saw something else under the sun:In the place of judgment—wickedness was there, in the place of justice—wickedness was there.17 I said to myself,“God will bring into judgment both the righteous and the wicked, for there will be a time for every activity, a time to judge every deed.”18 I also said to myself, “As for humans, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals. 19 Surely the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath[c]; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless. 20 All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. 21 Who knows if the human spirit rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?”22 So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?
Hi. I am home from an appointment with my therapist. Some really profound things came up. I had to write about it and hope may be something will resonate with you.
The first thing that came forth was when I was talking about my ex and how I was holding on to our past. How I felt like my holding on to our past was keeping me from moving forward . How I felt holding on to my past was a visceral thing I could actually feel in my head. Like an invisible force holding me back. Well my therapist said something pretty profound. She said “his love for you was conditional.” I felt that so deeply! I immediately felt a warmth in my chest. I thought of Jesus and unconditional love. How I had expected a human being to love me like Jesus and he just couldn’t. Lots of tears processing that! It was a truth I hadn’t considered.
The second thing was I have this huge circle of memories he and I shared and so many of them are good! Powerful! I am so afraid that if I go forward and make new memories that I will leave that past I love behind. I don’t want to let go. My therapist was like “ your holding on to nothing.” He went out of his way to get me a hard copy of the divorce decree. There is literally nothing to go back to! I have to move forward whether I want to or not. Again, more tears! When you talk things out it can bring forth really intense emotions. In case you didn’t already know for yourself, being divorced sucks!
To be 