Writing and blogging – Page 92

Hello to you. How are you doing today? Hopefully you are doing well.

Something that comes to mind this morning is the phrase uncomfortable silence. As I write, I’ve got an alternative station I found that I like, 103.7 fm on as background noise. I’m getting to be one of those kind of people that has to have the sound on in my world. That thing called comfortable silence is uncomfortable for me and it never used to be.

This radio used to belong to my brother-in-law Todd – still useful!

My mother-in-law used to follow ratings for television shows. I seem to remember her talking about CSI was one that always had high ratings. What was behind that a certain demographic, usually older Americans, put the show on as background noise even if they weren’t watching it. I though that was funny at the time until this situation of having to stay home alone more! I’m becoming one of those people!

So today I give thanks for local programming and the radio stations that keep the world interesting for me. Right now I don’t have access to streaming services without paying for it. I’m trying Amazon Prime video and took a look at Patrick Melrose yesterday. I couldn’t get through the first episode. It was hard to see Benedict Cumberbatch being such a convincing addict. I much prefer seeing him as Sherlock Holmes (minus the addict part) and Dr. Strange! There are some other interesting shows to check out whilst I work on my afghan.

I find myself going a bit stir crazy staying in the house so I’ll meander out for a walk. This isn’t such a bad thing as I gained some weight during my hospital stay. I’m starting to remember why one can lose your mind a bit being trapped in the house. In the past, it was just because of extremes of weather. I can remember being in a shelter in Mississippi during a hurricane and how tough that was. I was in a shelter with a bunch of other people and it was dark and even smelly at times. We ate peanut butter and crackers in the dark. As tough as that was, there was an end in sight. With this virus and containment, there doesn’t seem to be a definitive end. I understand better why there are protesters in different placing demanding things get opened back up. We are social creatures and are made to do stuff besides staying at home.

I wonder if this is the plants way of healing itself? For all the bad things that have happened and tragedy, good things have been happening for the planet. The biggest thing is a reduction in air pollution! I wonder how can we keep that going once life starts to resume it’s course?

https://nypost.com/2020/04/07/3-ways-the-coronavirus-is-a-boon-to-the-environment/

First drawing with markers – thinking of breaking through barriers in my life.

“a uncomfortable silence” in the English Ordinal system equals 213 – (ironically month and day I was born!)

Hello to you. I am writing again today as a way to cope with the cabin fever I’m experiencing lately. Link and I keep each other company but I sure miss talking to people on a regular basis! Writing a blog like this is kind of like talking to yourself I guess and hoping something about your self talk will resonate with someone else!

My life is extremely well documented with journals all the way back to high school. I have a big black trunk full of journals! Problem is, I’ve got nobody to pass them on to! It’s sad but I don’t exactly have access to professional archivists busting down my door to help me out. So like so many little people in history, much of my story is about to be inherited by the recycle bin!

Talking to my Mom helped me today to work through it though. There is just a lot of things that other than you, nobody cares about that we hold on to. Most people have enough cares of their own much less taking on more stuff from someone else. We talked not just about journals but also about knick knacks and other things we typically hold on to. She helped me get over my phobia of giving away stuff someone gave to me. In most cases they aren’t going to know or even remember giving the stuff to me anyways.

At my phase of life and hers, it’s getting to the point unless it’s useful and or practical, there is no point in having it. I don’t want to have to keep track of stuff if we end up moving from here. There is a part of me that would like to do what they did and move to a townhome or smaller place with an Home owners association (HOA) to keep up the property.

Her and Dad did a huge downsizing to move into the place they are living now. A lot of my Dad’s collections ended up getting sold at a garage sale. I told her I was both sad yet relieved about that. Part of me would have loved to inherit his Mickey Mouse snow globes but part of me is relieved I didn’t!

I guess in light of recent events and turning 52 this year, I am kind of taking stock of things and wanting to lighten the load a bit. I have attempted archiving before and just couldn’t stick with it. I just get overwhelmed by it!

The world I live in now is very digital. When I think of even the video game world my husband and I have spent a lot of time in, you have server space to “hoard” up miscellaneous items. You have a certain amount of space and any additional space above what they give you costs you money to increase. There is a very temporary feeling to a digital world existence. Pixilated items can be deleted and the space reconfigured to accomodate something else – if only the real world was more like that right? My journals will be destroyed and become something else but unlike digital media, cannot be recovered once they are gone.

Someone said it a nice way, by recycling my journals, I will be returning the words back to Source.

Thank you for reading. Writing this has helped me work through this. Has anyone else been through a similar journey?

Category: Writing and blogging

5 May 2020 Uncomfortable Silence

4 May 2020 Downsizing (gradually)