Category: Bipolar life

23 March 2021 Guidance

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you ? I am doing ok today. I got Link out for a walk early and sought to hear God’s voice and all I heard was the wind!

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left , your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it” Isaiah 30:21 NIV Bible Promises for You

It seems like I have been seeking more guidance from God and the harder I try the more difficult it has become. Talking to God used to be almost effortless. I have had to ask where is God really?! Is God in the wind? Is God in another persons voice? Is God in something to read?

I guess I am missing my manic relationship with God. When I was manic it felt like I was in a constant conversation with God and had to exert little to no effort. God was with me when I wanted to draw, write, sing, take photographs — all the ways I used to express myself God was there! I guess not being manic is the price my creative self is having to pay.

I have to believe that God has some sort of plan for me and what I’ve have been going through. Sometimes I wonder if what I’m going through is just God adding to my personal resume! God knows from my past that I will use my pain to help someone else. What I have learned from the past is we aren’t put through anything more than we can handle and what we go through can be used to connect more deeply with someone else.

Not many people know about what it means to be Bipolar and my family has had to learn a lot from me and what I have shared with them. God had me draw the mental health card for a reason and I will continue to seek guidance on where God’s voice is as I continue to go through that.

“body” in the English Ordinal system equals 46

“guidance” in the English Ordinal system equals 64

20 March 2021 Be Strong and Courageous

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you? It’s Saturday as I write to you. It’s a bit windy but we have some sun so not complaining!

I was looking for an inspirational verse for today and came across this:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Wouldn’t it be nice if all I had to do was read messages like this and everything was alright?! I am bipolar and thankfully the medications I am on have helped stop the high highs and low lows but I still experience almost crippling anxiety and depression. Mornings are really tough for me yet. This morning I forced myself to call for God’s help and that’s when I found the Bible passage. It wasn’t instantaneous and or immediate. Sometimes it takes awhile for an answer to come.

Here’s a nice message from Bible Promises for You:

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.

in God, whose word I praise–

in God I trust and am not afraid” Psalm 56:3-4

18 March 2021 Help

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you today? I am doing alright. Even though it’s gray and overcast, it was nice for a walk with Link.

This morning I was asking for help writing to you today and I was lead to psalm 121:

Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

7 The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

What a beautiful message about where to look for help. Lately I have been asking for God’s help. With more time on my hands, I have been lead to spend more time with God . I have seeking ways to be more useful and one way that came to me was praying for people but that doesn’t feel like enough.

This morning I wrote down, “God has a good plan for you.” Sometimes it takes awhile for a plan to made manifest and I must have patience!

“Jackie” in the English Ordinal system equals 39

“God has a good plan for you” in the English Ordinal system equals 239

17 March 2021 Quiet Faith

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello, how are you ? It’s a beautiful day so far. I got Link out for his morning walk and that was good for me too!

Do you ever have mornings where you want to hear from God and all you get is is either silence or random noise? That happened to me today. So I turned to that little book from my Aunt, Bible Promises for You and found this:

Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1 NIV

Sometimes I think God’s voice is in the silence and that’s when we have to really call on our Faith.

I am trying to write every day and that has proven to be challenging. I keep wanting to hear from God in a big bold way and God doesn’t always work that way! God sometimes doesn’t speak at all. Sometimes silence is where you find the message .

“body ” in the English Ordinal system equals 46

“planet. ” in the English Ordinal system equals 68

“Sometimes silence is where you find the message . ” in the English Ordinal system equals 468

16 March 2021 Procrastination

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there! How are you this day as you visit me here? I hope you are doing well. I asked God for a topic today and all that came forth was one word procrastination. I decided I didn’t like how I feel thinking about that word! When I think of that word it provokes anxiety! I start asking myself questions like “What have I left undone God?” “What should I be doing that I’m not doing!” So I sought inspiration in a little book my Aunt gave me for me birthday last year; it’s called Bible Promises For You:

I am Joyful

You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Isaiah 55:12 NIV

Perhaps there is some kind of connection between procrastination and joy I don’t know about? Perhaps you can’t know joy unless you do what your putting off ? So if something is really nagging you the sooner you get it done the sooner you will experience joy? I wonder. I think a big part of procrastination for me is fear:

I am Unafraid

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10 NLT

Here are some of the key words in numbers:

brain” in the English Ordinal system equals 44

“ inspiration” in the English Ordinal system equals 144

“procrastination ” in the English Ordinal system equals 192 (one no light and shadow existence)

“religion” in the English Ordinal system equals 89

“joyful ” in the English Ordinal system equals 89

“Jesus” in the English Ordinal system equals 74

“unafraid” in the English Ordinal system equals 74

13 March 2021 Walk

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you how are you this day? I am doing pretty good. Just got back from a nice walk with Link. The past couple of days have been really beautiful – warm and sunny. I am looking forward to spring and more days like this.

Now you ask why the title “walk.” Well I asked for a topic and that is the word the came through loud and clear. May be my brain was catching up to that’s what we were doing at the time I asked lol! I don’t know! I looked up the word Walk in my NIV Bible and there are several references; like 211 of them. Here is one for example: John 8:12

12 When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

Now to talk about walks/walking in the context of my daily life it’s a vital part of it. I can’t even say the word without Link perking his ears up! We try to get out at least once to two times a day if the weather is nice. Walking replaced running for me because my knees got bad from running so much when I was younger. Walking has always been a great therapy too – walk up to 40 minutes to kick in the “happy chemicals” in the brain.

Some of my best memories are from walks with my husband, family and friends. Seeing rainbows, flocks of birds, elaborate spider webs, trees and flowers. No matter how “ugly” the place I have been, I have always managed to find the beauty in the midst of it. When you walk with God you walk with all of your senses not just for exercise. I’m grateful that I am able to walk!

Lets see what the question I ask Link is in the numbers:

“do you want to go for a walk?” in the English Ordinal system equals 282 (light and shadow process with eternity in between)

11 March 2021 Blue Sky “Wow”

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Mental Health, Music, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello and good morning to you. How are you doing in your day thus far? I hope you are well. This morning I was seeking a topic and asked God about it and then almost on cue a huge formation of birds appeared in the sky! At first there were no words just the sound of the birds. Then the first word that came to my mind was “WOW!” The sky was such a clear blue so I could see the birds really clearly. I of course didn’t have any camera other than my two eyes. I guess this amazing sight was just for God and I to witness….”just for us.” Sometimes there are no words to be had just an awe inspiring sight. So much happens in the sky that if your not paying attention you will miss.

Genesis 1:8 NIV

“God called the expanse “sky” and there was evening and there was morning – the second day

“blue sky” in the English Ordinal system equals 95 (no sensory experience – this makes sense as you can’t sense the sky, the sky just is)

10 March 2021 Always

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello and good morning to you. How are you ? I am better after having a walk with Link this morning! There is something about sunshine and cool weather that just feels good.

Lately I have been listening to Joyce Meter and other pastors a lot and realized with them doing all the talking there isn’t much room for God to speak to me. I decided to ask God this morning on the walk “what is the message for today” and the one word that came through really loud and clear, more than once was the word Always.

“People, places and things may abandon you but I won’t. I will always love you and never abandon you” in the English Ordinal system equals 952 (no, all the senses light and shadow existence – God doesn’t have a body )

That is what I heard God say to me today and I just have to believe it! Now always is a long time but not impossible. God, no matter what name and or face you put on them has been around forever. I believe a promise of forever love, to always be there is a promise God can keep.

I just have to quit expecting a human being to be able to keep such a promise. Human being are fickle and changeable. We are limited by our short years of existence.

The other thing is always is an absolute kind of word. People shouldn’t live in absolutes like always and never but God can. God is absolutely capable of always loving me. Lets see what always is in the numbers:

“always” in the English Ordinal system equals 81 (eternity for one)

9 March 2021 Getting That Sunshiny Feeling

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello, how are you today? I hope this finds you well. Today I wanted to talk about a nice yet elusive feeling I got this morning after getting my taxes done at H & R Block. I had been really nervous for weeks leading up to deciding to do my taxes. Turns out there was nothing to really worry about! My little prayer before being called back helped I think!

As I drove home from the appointment, I started to feel that sunshiny feeling in my gut – warmth and relief. Part of me thinks the feeling was also having a sense of accomplishment at completing a task I had been dreading. I even went to our local burger joint and ordered lunch to celebrate!

I have started to notice a pattern for me. I have a habit of making little things big. All I have to do is go through whatever it is and it’s like it was never a big deal after all! I really like the sunshiny feeling ! I think it is good for me to have something to do, may be on a more regular basis (besides taxes!) that evokes these feelings. I will have to pray on it and see what doors God opens!

“balance” in the English Ordinal system equals 38

“getting that sunshiny feeling” in the English Ordinal system equals 318

8 March 2020 Be still, do nothing and say a prayer

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you ? Today started out rough. I just didn’t want to do anything but stay in bed. I tried to “scare it away” like before but I just couldn’t shake the feelings I was having. I can’t raise my voice or yell without scaring Link so that’s the other thing. I had about given up on the day when I got a text from a new friend I made from a Codependency telephone group. She was having a rough day herself and just needed to touch base with a friend. Taking in to account something I had just recently heard Joyce Meyer say and what I had learned from my own experience I asked her if she would like to talk about it and so she called me. Sometimes by being a blessing to someone else in a time of need, we ourselves are blessed and such was the case here.

We shared each others problems and whittled them down to the sweet spot – Jesus – God and how sometimes when we don’t know what else to do we just have to be still, do nothing and pray. We decided it would be a good idea to say some prayers about the situation she was facing and it really felt good to do that. In her time of trial she was a blessing to me. Just talking to her got me up and out of bed!

This friend is the second in the past couple of days to tell me why they are a Christian and give their testimony to me. I had prayed about this before bed last night! “God, Jesus, show yourself to me” I believe God answered and these answers actually warmed my heart and gave me hope.

I’m curious what the title I chose reflects in the numbers:

“Be still, do nothing and say a prayer ” in the English Ordinal system equals 333 (yes, no may be x3! not exactly serenity in the numbers) I just looked at phone and it’s 3:33 pm lol go figure.