18 June 2018 Fragile Stasis (Drawing) and Stasis – Point of No Return (1993 song)

Just stopping by to say hello.  I hope this finds you well in mind, body and spirit.

18 June 2018 – Drawing I did this morning hoping rain clouds would come and wash it away….nope! I was thinking about the fragile stasis of our world bound together by the elements of nature.

19 20 1 19 9 19

S T A S I S = 87/15/6/3 cycle

In the heat of summer boredom, the word Stasis took me to many different places.  On my digital travels I found this song done in 1993 that took me to familiar musical grounds.  It’s very reminiscent of the style of Hearts of Space, Art of Noise, Tangerine Dream, Vangelis, etc.  Hope you enjoy it too.

Stasis – Point Of No Return


  1. a period or state of inactivity or equilibrium.
    “long periods of stasis” ·

    “creative stasis”
    synonyms: inactivity · inaction · inactiveness · inertness · passivity · apathy ·

    antonyms: activity · energy
  2. civil strife.



13 June 2018 Morning Drawing – Cloud In Your Tea

13 June 2018 – A smile and hello to you.

Hello there.  How are you doing?  I hope this finds you in good health and spirit.

It’s another stagnant and hot morning/day here in North Texas.  I decided I’d better water a little morning while it was cool.  I worry about all our trees, plants, birds and insects when it’s dry like it is.  We are under the same drought conditions we’ve been in since we moved here so it was a hand-held watering.   I don’t know if it will help, trees need a lot of water.

13 June 2018 – Our little baby crepe myrtle still finding a way to bloom even with the drought. They are some of my favorite beings here in Texas.

This morning I found out that on the 8th they released a documentary about Mr. Fred Rogers!  I had just posted about him on the 10th! Funny how that works.  I had tears streaming down my face watching it.  It’s not showing in any theatres around here, so I’ll be looking for it on streaming services and eventually hard copy.  I don’t know about anyone else, but I sure miss his gentle, kind, loving spirit and his important messages.  In my opinion, there isn’t anyone in our world right now that has been able to pick up the mantle he carried while he was here:

WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR? – Official Trailer [HD] – In Select Theaters June 8

I did a drawing this morning and there is a lot of that surrealism stuff I was talking about yesterday going on in it.  I was thinking of a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh about a cloud becoming the tea in your cup:


“It’s like a cloud in the sky. When the cloud is no longer in the sky, it doesn’t mean the cloud has died. The cloud is continued in other forms like rain or snow or ice. So you can recognize your cloud in her new forms. If you are very fond of a beautiful cloud and if your cloud is no longer there, you should not be sad. Your beloved cloud might have become the rain, calling on you, ‘darling, darling, don’t you see me in my new form?’ And then you will not be stuck with grief and despair. Your beloved one continues always. Meditation helps you recognize her continued presence in new forms. And our nature is the nature of no birth and no death…the nature of a cloud also. A cloud can never die. A cloud can become snow, or hail…or rain. But it is impossible for a cloud to pass from being into non-being. And that is true with your beloved one. She has not died. She is continued in many new forms. And you can look deeply and recognize herself in you and around you.” -TNH

Transcribed from a conversation between Oprah Winfrey and Buddhist Monk, Author and Nobel Peace Prize nominated Peace Activist, Thich Nhat Hanh (pronounced “Tick Not Han”)


3 12 15 21 4

C L O U D = 55/10/1

14 5 9 7 8 2 15 18

N E I G H B O R = 78/15/6 (3 cycle)

19 13 9 12 5

S M I L E = 58/13/4/2/1


11 June 2018 Expectations and Afternoon Dreams

11 June 2018 – Lately I’ve been really tired a lot and my mind has been lacking clarity. I think it’s a combination of recovering from almost two months of next to no sleep and all that “stuff” that was going on. It’s probably the unrelenting heat too. I don’t do real well with excessive heat. Texas isn’t for the faint of heart! I don’t think I’ll ever really get used to heat that sucks all the moisture out of the soil and the air! Probably why the ants are doing what they are doing. Anyhew….I decided to break into the new box of chalks from my friend. Turns out some of them have glitter flecks. I wasn’t sure about that until I saw the sparkle happen. The green square on the left has a flash of glitter light on it lol.

Hello to you.  How are you?  I hope you’ve been having a good day.  I got a letter from my Mom today and it was wonderful to hear from her.  We pen pals have worked out an agreement that we will write when we feel like it and there is no obligations to immediately write back.  My Mom and I have both been learning a lot the past few years about doing things for others and expecting things of them in return.  If you are only doing things to get some kind of response and not just because you want to do it, then may be you aren’t doing it for the right reasons.  Do what you do because you genuinely want to and without expectations. 

“Expectation is the seed of resentment”

Like this blog for instance.  Again and again my  husband reminds me and I have to remind me that I am blogging for me first.  This is a tool in my sanity toolkit – repeal of net neutrality be damned lol (http://thehill.com/policy/technology/391698-what-the-repeal-of-net-neutrality-rules-means).  Writing, art and photography are a couple of the main ways I use to help me sort through and make sense of my world.


I took a much needed nap this afternoon with my dream traveling buddy Link and had a couple dreams.  The first one was short, one of those flash dreams I have a lot and very creepy!  There was a phrase, “Righteous in the elevator” associated with two very strange men.  These men were in an elevator that had a cross burned into the wall and one of them pointed to it and said something like, “taken care of.”  Then I dreamt about a black man working at a gas station.  I was talking to him and telling him I was worried about him trying to take care of inside and outside customers at the same time.  Then some man pulled out a guitar and we were worried it was a gun instead.

Words in Numbers:

18 9 7 8 20 5 15 21 19

R I G H T E O U S = 122/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

(interesting to note RIGHT = 62/8/4/2/1)

14 5 21 20 18 1 12 9 20 25

N E U T R A L I T Y = 145/10/1

(interesting to note NEUTRAL is 91/10/1)

5 24 16 5 3 20 1 20 9 15 14

E X P E C T A T I O N = 132/6 divided by 2 = 3 divided by 2 = 1.5 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle

(interesting to note EXPECT = 73/10/1)

18 5 19 5 14 20 13 5 14 20

R E S E N T M E N T = 133/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 – 8/4/2/1

(interesting to note just RESENT = 81/9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle)

11 June 2018 Control, Ant politics and Mindfulness vs Mindlessness (Laura Chang, M.A., LPC)

Hello to you from where and when you are stopping by.  I’m finally able to sit down here and have a moment.  Kyle picked me up some light auburn hair coloring and now I look a bit more like myself again.  I knew better from past experiences than to go blonde but ah well.   What happens with us girls, at least this girl, is when I don’t feel like I have control over things going on!  When I’m feeling powerless, in a mindless versus mindful sort of way (there is a difference), I will do a couple of predictable things.  I will start moving furniture, trying to organize and clean out stuff (very productive this one) and ultimately I will start fussing, then cutting and color my hair.  Depending on what is going on, it can take quite an effort for me to get to a mindful state of being.  It’s in those weak moments that going blonde,  or in my case going orange happens!

Don’t I look stunning?! LOL! I saw this and had to share. Pink haired Spock, had to have it in my life!

Now for something completely different…..

10 June 2018 – These pretty little flowers were from a $1 seed packet at the Family Dollar!

We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.
Cynthia Ozick

10 June 2018 – I took this lying on my cot. I thought it was so cool all the elements that could be seen in one view.

We had another major ant siege this morning.  It’s dry and hot and that’s when they make their move.  They have surrounded the house and were even trying to set up shop in a window.  I can’t blame them for fighting to survive these elements but damn I wish they’d go someplace besides my house to do it.  I spread some Diametrious earth around the house and we fought them back from the inside with a mix of white vinegar and Dr. Bonner’s Peppermint which seemed to work.   We try not to use the traditional poisons mainly for health reasons with the dogs and ourselves.  Most of our neighbors use exterminator services like we used to and or spray the toxic stuff which chases the ants from their place over to ours.  With ant politics that’s really all we are doing.  You don’t really kill ants, you just move them from one place to another!   Until the next battle!

24 April 2018 ants on the side of the house looking like they are making a nest in the walls. We’ve had them get into the house and into our laundry basket before!

If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering.

Victor Frankl

13 9 14 4 12 5 19 19 14 5 19 19

M I N D L E S S N E S S = 152/8/4/2/1

13 9 14 4 6 21 12 13 5 19 19

M I N D F U L N E S S = 135/9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle


Mindfulness vs. Mindlessness

“Rejoice in the things that are present; all else is beyond thee.” – Montaigne

We are mindful when we are in a “mental state characterized by nonjudgmental awareness of the present moment experience, including sensations, thoughts, bodily states, consciousness, and the environment, while encouraging openness, curiosity, and acceptance” (Hofmann et al., 2010, p. 169).  This state of mindfulness is flexible, open to novelty, and sensitive to both context and perspective (Langer, 2005).

When we are operating in life from a mindful position, we are willing to open ourselves to all of the possibilities and nuances of our internal and external worlds.  We feel willing to invite whatever thoughts and emotions may come, because we are not rigid in fear that thoughts or emotions will overwhelm us.  Through this open stance, we allow ourselves to bear witness to thoughts, emotions, and external events without judgment.  Paradoxically, when we allow potentially negative thoughts or feelings to simply “be,” we take away the power that they have over us.  It is when we resist and deny our thoughts and feelings that they grow stronger.

A mindful stance welcomes whatever thoughts and emotions arise, examines them with curiosity and openness, and then lets them go.  There is no need to hold on to the disturbing thoughts and emotions.  From a mindful place, we are willing to experience them, calm in the knowledge that we are in the driver’s seat.  Thoughts and emotions have no power over us when in a mindful place.  When we experience fear, anger, or sadness mindfully, we take away the power of those emotions.  We do not deny or invalidate them, but we see them for what they truly are: feelings.

When we choose to adopt a mindful view towards our daily experience, we release the need to evaluate every thought, feeling, or action as “good” or “bad.”  Ellen Langer, author of the chapter “Well-Being” in the Handbook of Positive Psychology, notes that while “evaluation is central to the way we make sense of our world, in most cases, evaluation is mindless … A more mindful approach would entail understanding not only that there are advantages and disadvantages to anything we may consider but that each disadvantage is simultaneously an advantage from a different perspective (and vice versa).  With this type of mindful approach, virtually every unpleasant aspect of our lives could change.”

Much of what we are taught in Western societies involves the idea that when bad things happen, we just need to “hold on” and wait for them to pass.  Imagine the tension and fear involved in this mindset – knuckles white, breath held in, muscles tight.  When we shift into a mindful stance, we can begin to view the bad things that happen in life as being context dependent.  There is a deep awareness that with everything, there are both good and bad aspects, depending on our point of view.

When we are operating in a mindless way, we are choosing not to take in all available information – we select that which we pay attention to, even when it only increases fear or anger.  When living in mindlessness, we go through the day reacting to internal thoughts and feelings and external events, rather than responding. Mindlessness results in unawareness – we are limiting the full range of what we can experience.  There is understandable fear involved in the idea of “inviting” seemingly negative thoughts or emotions with open-minded curiosity.  We are taught to reject and suppress such negativity.

Reflect on how your own experience changes when you practice mindfulness in your daily routine.  The next time that an unpleasant thought or feeling arises, rather than stuffing it down and rejecting it, allow it to be. Practice sitting with discomfort. When we learn how to tolerate discomfort and distress in this way, we are providing ourselves with the chance to be freed from suffering.  Our emotional suffering persists when we deny it, ignore it, or rage against it.  Notice it, welcome it, observe it, and let it go.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Hofmann, S.G., Sawyer, A.T., Witt, A.A., & Oh, D. (2010). The effect of mindfulness-based therapy on anxiety and depression: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Consulting & Clinical Psychology, 78(2), 169-183.

Snyder, C.R. & S.J. Lopez. (2005). Handbook of Positive Psychology. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

Featured image: welcome new light by AlicePopkorn / CC BY 2.0

9 June 2018 Songs of our time – What Else Is There (Royksopp) and More Than This (The Cure)

I don’t know who wrote this.  I found it on the internet this morning without an author attached to it.  It was interesting to me:

If the Particle in question
is to also move in time
it should change its energy
Or it stands still in time

Hello to you.  It’s morning in my here and now.  Already battling dust bunnies and ants but mercifully there is coffee and I am not the lone witness to these petty struggles lol!  How are you?  I hope this finds you well.

This morning I wanted a couple of songs for my post and What Else Is There by Royksopp and More Than This by the Cure stood out.  Songs with messages that speak to our current times.  The struggle I think so many, to include myself, are facing these days.  What else is there to this life?  Is there more than “this?”  What exactly is “this?”

For some the “this” seems to be a struggle from the moment they are born until the moment of their departure.  For some it seems only given a moment to be born and a few short days, months of years to struggle to be here and fade away.  For some the “this” is never knowing any pain, conflict or difficulty – a pampered and sheltered existence their entire lives.

Everyone seems to arrive and depart with assigned positions on the stage of life with very few roles being cast off to another player.  Painters painting, tradespeople trading, the usury using, talking heads talking, politicians politicking, soldiers soldiering, lawyers lawyering, police, fire and emergency responders flying with unseen wings from one crisis to another.  All the possible colors and textures of our skin be it human or otherwise the costumes we adorn for this blurring dance.   In between all “this,” the first of us be they of wings or fins, frantically sew all the holes we are tearing open across this planet closed with the beauty their existence.

Ever since last January I have experienced and sensed a big change in what “this” is for me personally.  I have drifted out to the darkness and looked over the edges quite a bit.  The tether that keeps me from drifting completely away made of family, friends, love, faith and hope.   I know I am extremely blessed to have this tether as far too many in this world don’t even know any of that exists!   I have seen many others also drifting out there in the confusion that is now America.  I think there is a great sense of futility in the air.  We must stay tethered to what matters most and the wisdom of the deepest part of our heart….our souls.

I’ve experienced, spoken and written many times that there is nothing of this world that can fill the void of spirit.  If you rely completely on other people, food, drink, places, things, conquests for power, do things that garner negative attention etc. to fill you up inside, you will always be left wanting more.  Just like any addiction, it takes bigger and bigger “doses” to achieve the same results until you finally realize there will never be enough to fill you up.   Then will come the questions I think people we are seeing that have lost hope are asking, “Is this it?!  Is there nothing more than this?!  What else is there?!  What do I have to do to feel alive?!”

Röyksopp – What Else Is There? (HD)


It was me on that road
But you couldn`t see me
Too many lights out, but nowhere near here

It was me on that road
Still you couldn`t see me
And then flashlights and explosions

Roads ends getting nearer
We cover distance but not together
I am the storm and I am the wonder
And the flashlights, nightmares
And sudden explosions

I don’t know what more to ask for
I was given just one wish

It’s about you and the sun
A morning run
The story of my maker
What have I and what I ache for

I`ve got a golden ear
I cut and I spear
And what else is there
Roads and getting nearer
We cover distance still not together

If I am the storm if I am the wonder
Will I have flashlights, nightmares
And sudden explosions

There is no room where I can go and
You`ve got secrets too

I don`t know what more to ask for
I was given just one wish

© Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.,Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC,Universal Music Publishing Group
For non-commercial use only.
Data From: LyricFind


Sometimes I will grasp around for something to energize me, to make me happy and often find there is nothing.  So I go outside with my music and just flop down on my cot and look up or take off my shoes and just stand still with my arms raised to the sky.  The “this” I am seeking most often finds me then.   In the eyes of my husband and my dogs, in the songs of the birds, the buzzing of the bees, the dirt between my toes, the petals of the flowers, the whispers of the trees, the blazing sun, the gentle breeze that caresses my arm and the billowing clouds overhead all is “this”…God.  


8 June 2018 – Drawing yesterday. The word “corners” came to mind after I was done with it.


the cure – more than this



For this second of your life,

Tell me that its true,

Waiting for a sign,

That’s all I want of you.

Your heart hides a secret

A promise of what is,

Something more than this.


Just a second of your time,

Any one will do,

Taste of any other,

Is all I want from you,

You offer me the world,

And how can I resist

Something more than this?


Make believe in magic

Make believe in dreams

Make believe impossible,

Nothing as it seems

To see touch taste smell hear

But never know if its real


For this second of your life

Tell me if its true

Anyway we are

Is all I want of you

Your lips lies a secret

A promise of a kiss

Something more than this


Just a second of your time

Any one will do

To know any other is all I want for you

Giving me the world

Now I can’t resist

Something more than this


Make believe in magic

Make believe in dreams

Make believe impossible

Nothing as it seems

Never really understand what anything means


Another second of my life

Not knowing if its true

Make believe in nothing

Is all I want of you

Whisper me your secret

Whisper me your ears

Always something other

Something more than this…



© Universal Music Publishing Group

For non-commercial use only.

Data From: LyricFind



8 June 2018 When God Says Hello

Hi again.  It’s another hot Texas afternoon and we are all hold up inside today.  Not even Link and Spot want to go outside lol.  Spot is usually the first to want to go out.  So here I am writing to you…hope you don’t mind.

This morning was very pleasant.  I was out on my cot singing with my Ipod.  Then I looked up to see a bunch of very large birds swirling over my head like angels.  I just started crying like I do and said, “Well hello God*.”   I just sat there, unable to sing anymore crying and looking at those giant angels that seemed to be ferrying off spirits to far off corners….just passing through.

So this crude chalk drawing is me trying to express what I saw because of course I didn’t have my camera and I was so overcome by the experience I didn’t dare leave to go and get it!

*God for me is energy – all – everything that makes this world reality and not limited to any one religion or walk of spirit’s rendition of what God is.

8 June 2018 – With all the heart aching stuff going on I would like to think those giant angels of birds I saw were ferrying off spirits to the next world to find peace.

There is a song, menfolk please don’t cringe, by Coldplay I absolutely love that suites my post here:

A flock of birds
Hovering above
Just a flock of birds
That’s how you think of love

And I always
Look up to the sky
Pray before the dawn
‘Cause they fly always
Sometimes they arrive
Sometimes they are gone
They fly on

A flock of birds
Hovering above
Into smoke I’m turned
And rise following them up

Still I always
Look up to the sky
Pray before the dawn
‘Cause they fly away
One minute they arrive,
Next you know they’re gone
They fly on
Fly on

So fly on
Ride through
Maybe one day I’ll fly next to you

They fly on
Ride through
Maybe one day I come fly with you
Fly on
Fly on
Fly on

© Universal Music Publishing Group
For non-commercial use only.
Data from: LyricFind

Coldplay – O (Janduny Remix)

Coldplay – O (from Ghost Stories)

With all the “stuff” going on in our world, it’s important to stay in the heart, stay in the light of love and the places that lift me up.  I am so grateful for my husband, my family and friends, for nature, for art, for music, for love and all the little things.

Like the Cloud Man John A Day used to say “Look up and see!” (http://www.cloudman.com/)

8 June 2018 These Little things (poem)

7 June 2018 – I was thinking as I did this that sometimes it can feel like life is a tunnel.

Hello to you.  We made it, it’s Friday morning (here).   If you are reading this, we did an amazing thing and survived life on this planet another day!  One of the things Kyle and I often say, and I picked this up from my AA days, “It’s always a good day when you wake up on the green side.”  No matter how much proverbial shit the world will shovel to us at times, getting a new day to try again is a blessing.  It may not always feel like it, but life is yet a gift.

As we started off on our walk with Link and Spot this morning we stopped by the mail box and found a love and a hug sealed in an envelope from my Aunt Ruth!  What a lovely way to start the day getting love from across the miles!  Her card will join my Mom’s by my bedside!

8 June 2018 – What a loving message to receive from my Aunt in the mailbox this morning!

I took the camera out back this morning.

These Little Things – Jackie

Each day is a combination so random and yet carefully planned

Who will go where, who will say and do what

Where each one will stand.

In between all the hurry and flurry I see these little things

The fluttering, flapping and singing

All the beings of the earth and sky with wings

The peek-a-boo cat hiding behind the neighbors tree

Watching for rabbits with one eye and with the other

Spying on me

The tired little rose, the last on the bush to bloom

The morning sun through the window

Casting light through dust particles in the room

The fleck of red in my husbands beard and light of his smile

Our little Link resting comfortably in his well-worn bed

On the tile.

These little things all fragments of one part

All the most important things

That fit into my heart.


Indeed, for me, it’s the little things I come back to the most when I need to find my way when I’ve strayed off the path of heart centered living.  When Kyle and I find ourselves really getting crabby and bitching too much about things we stop the train of thought with one question, “What are you grateful for?”  Usually that’s all it takes to turn things around.  I saw this post on my Facebook feed this morning and it resonated:

8 June 2018 – I saw this on my FB feed this morning and it resonated: If you can stay positive in a negative situation, you win.


6 June 2018 Zombies (Dream) and Not Ours To Take

Hello to you.  How are you this morning?  I have been sleeping but just don’t feel rested if that makes sense.  It seems like a long time since I woke up where you stretch and yawn and just feel rejuvenated.  It doesn’t help having pretty much nonstop dreams lately, most of which I am not remembering.  Which isn’t a bad thing because at least then I’m staying in bed and not getting up to write dreams down constantly through the night.

The dream that was memorable from last night was of being in like a hospital type setting and seeing people throwing up.  Then I was out in a field being “zombie bait” and yelling at a bunch of pale, shambling people trying to come after me.  Then I saw drawings similar to those I did when my friend and I were talking about chakras and holistic health.  Before I woke up I was in Prince Roger’s Nelsons car and nervous to drive it lol.

WEIRD!  I’m thinking the zombies symbolized how a lot of Americans have become when it comes to health and their well being.  Anyhew, writing my dreams down and sharing helps me lol – so thank you for enduring.

So warning, don’t talk about selling your house if you aren’t prepared to have someone actually ask you to sell your house!

I went to bed upset last night because my friend and I were talking about our selling our house to them.  For as many times as I’ve talked about it and wanted to do it, we know we just can’t do it right now.  With Kyle’s job situation, my health, our fragile finances, having two dogs and all our stuff…we just can’t hop out of this house easily.   If Kyle had a secure job, I  was more stable and we knew we had a place to smoothly transition to, we’d seriously consider it!  Sometimes having bought a house feels like a trap lol.   I don’t know if anyone can relate to what I’m talking about here.  It must be so stressful for people and families who do this all the time.  Moving was so much easier when I was in the military!

Today I saw some stuff a friend posted about being in a sacred place and she was taking stuff from it for the work she does.  I found myself getting upset.  I guess because I used to do it too.  I’ve always been a “rockhound” and like to pick up rocks and stones when I’m in nature.  In recent years I’ve stopped myself from doing this or at least I put them back where I found them.  I’m getting even more reluctant to buy  more crystals and stuff like I used to.  I guess I realize that if I buy crystals, take dirt, rocks or other things from sacred public places,  then other people’s experience in this world will be diminished.

It seems like as human beings we have it embedded in us to touch things, to want to collect tangible momentos from travels to such places, to take resources that will benefit us financially.  It is easy to forget in our fervor there will be others who follow in our steps.  We must find restraint and  acknowledge that if we take everything from these places,  all that will be left for future generations will be a barren vistas.


We will be known forever by the tracks we leave. – Dakota


28 May 2018 Watching Over Us (Drawing)

Hi there – just poppin in with the drawing I did this morning.  I wasn’t as brave as I intended initially with coloring it in but I think it came out pretty neat.  A funny story about this one.  Even before I started drawing a bug did a fly by and left three green dots on my paper!  I decided to go ahead and incorporate that bugs “paint” into the drawing.  How is that for organic art?!  LOL!  When I did this one I was thinking about divine beings in the outer realms watching over us down here on Earth.  I guess I was trying to comfort myself away from the sad thoughts I was having about life after Earth the past couple of days.

28 May 2018 – This mornings drawing. Visualizing divine beings watching over us down here on earth.

22 9 19 9 15 14

V I S I O N = 88

23 1 20 3 8

W A T C H = 55

13 5 20 5 15 18

M E T E O R = 76

16 18 15 20 5 3 20

P R O T E C T = 97

19 20 1 18

S T A R = 58

5 1 18 20 8

E A R T H = 52

20 8 18 5 5

T H R E E = 56

Shantala – Hanuman Chalisa

28 May 2018 To Be Able To Find You Again

21 Aug 2015 – drawing I gave to my friend Rebecca before she went to Pikes Peak in Colorado Springs CO.

Hello to you.  It’s hard to believe but it’s Memorial Day Monday already.  Kyle was in shock yesterday when I told him it was Sunday not Saturday lol!  Lost a whole day!

This morning we went up to Glenwood cemetery to pay our respects.  It’s so hot and humid it was hard to breathe but we have made it a tradition so we stuck it out.  We go up there for Memorial and Veteran’s Day to pay our respects not just to the veterans buried there, but to all the dead.

As we walked this morning, I got tearful talking to Kyle about what will happen to places like this when there is no earth.  What will become of Earth’s consciousness?  The energy that was us?  Kyle reeled me back in to the moment and we decided we wouldn’t worry about that right now.  Right now there is an earth to walk on and we are together.  I told him the reason I was so upset was just thinking about he and I being parted.  I want to make sure he can find me and I can find him again when we don’t have a body.  It was so hard to find each other in this life! 

To Be Able To Find You Again -(Jackie poem)

When the stars wink out and I can’t see the sky

I hope you will be

Somewhere close by.

Even though our bodies will have long since become dust

All the mementos of our shared past

Only rust

I hope to be able to find you again

In the place where there are only beginnings

Never an end.

When we die right now, our bodies become part of the earth and cycle back into new forms of existence.  To me, this is proof of immortality and that we never truly die.  We just become something or someone else.  It’s disconcerting to imagine not having that earth system to go to when our time in these forms is complete.   It tugs at my heart to think of all our existence just evaporating into time at some point.  They say it’s a long time away but sometimes I wonder.

What “reeled me back” to the now was seeing the large and healthy trees dispersed through the cemetery shining in the morning sunlight.  The centurions…the gatekeepers to heaven.  It was also comforting to find out that the grave I always visit, Donnie, recently got a neighbor so he’s not alone anymore.  The final thing that was so beautiful was finding painted rocks with loving messages near the wall that has veterans names on it!  My prayer each time we visit is that there will be no new wars.

Sorry to be morbid,  but this kind of holiday brings about such thoughts in me.  “What has it all been for and will it last?!”

P.S. note –

Last night I went out to catch a glimpse of the lovely full moon before bed and was looking up in the sky and saw a light brown star.  While I was looking at it, it just disappeared!  I checked to see if it was just my glasses (they are very scratched) something.  Probably a satellite, plane or something.