saymber

14 August 2021 Lonely

August 14, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Mental Health

Hello to you ! How are you today? I am feeling lonely today. I tried walking a bunch of laps around the block but just can’t seem to shake this feeling ! Sometimes it’s hard to enjoy your own company . You can’t escape yourself lol.

The place I go that helps me not feel so lonely is my front porch. Sitting there helps me feel connected to the world. There are the neighbors, trees, birds, squirrels and insects. All sorts of life forms “doing stuff.”

When I am feeling like this I am reminded of what life was like off my medication. I always felt like I was being watched and never alone . A part of me misses that feeling. I wish I could have that feeling still taking my medication . Was it God I was close to during those times ? I wonder .

13 August 2021 Anniversary

August 13, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Television, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello! How are you ? I’m doing ok.

Today is my service anniversary. If I was still on active duty it would be my 35th year anniversary ! It’s hard to believe how much time has gone by ! The thing I miss is the comradeship. There were a lot of good people I worked with over my 16 years of service . I was stationed at Travis Afb CA, Bitburg ABS Germany, Falcon Afb CO, HQ Space Command Peterson Afb CO, Patrick Afb FL. All pretty good assignments ! I would have to say my favorite place was Europe .

12 August 2021 Duality

August 12, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Writing and blogging

Hello and good morning to you . How are you ? I am doing ok. I fixed myself some breakfast this morning after the morning walk. Sometimes it’s hard to get motivated to cook for myself. I guess I’m not really cooking just for myself – Link enjoys what I cook too !

I was thinking about duality. Most everything in known existence has more than one side; more than one way to look at things. The same can be said for a person. Everyone has a light and shadow side – a positive and a negative side . Which side we choose to focus on determines how we feel about that person. I often choose to focus on the positive side but sometimes that can leave me open for attack – vulnerable . I want to believe the best in people!

11 August 2021 Learning

August 11, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Mental Health, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you in your where and when. How are you ? I am having kind of a rough morning. Words have power . Sometimes you can think you are safe in saying something a certain way and learn later that it hurt someone. I never mean to hurt anyone with my words here!

This blog is a place I’ve had as an outlet for many years now and I guess I’m still learning how to use it !

10 August 2021 Beauty

August 10, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! How are you ? It’s a nice day and I’m out on the porch with Link enjoying it. He is mainly focused on the squirrel that keeps coming to visit !

I am thinking about the subject of beauty. I have been called beautiful lately but I don’t believe it! I have gained a lot of weight and don’t think its attractive . So who do I believe ?! They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder . May be if I start looking at myself through the loving eyes that say I’m beautiful I will believe it !

After all what is more important ? To be beautiful on the outside or on the inside? I think if your beautiful on the inside it shines out ! I will keep focused on making sure I shine on the inside .

9 August 2021 Survival

August 9, 2021 by saymber, posted in Uncategorized

Hello to you! How are you doing today? I am doing pretty good. Link and I got around the block once and then I did two laps on my own. It was nice and cool.

Yesterday I went to the Idaho Discovery Center exhibit of the Titanic with my aunt, cousin and niece. My passenger, Ms. Edwina Celia Troutt was a survivor. The exhibit overall was a lot of reading and kind of lean on artifacts I felt.

I can remember how the story of the Titanic captured my imagination as a child and I even wrote a song about it. The thought of so many children dying in the lower decks made me so sad . Then there was of course the movie that really brought the tragedy to life. A heavily romanticized telling of the tale.

It was really nice to be out with family . We went to The Curb afterwards and had a nice meal . They were having trouble keeping staff. They said they had lost two people that day ! Things are changing in the restaurant business . Our waitress didn’t hand us menus we had to have a smart phone . She was saying eventually the trend is going to be no wait staff at all – just order directly front the kitchen ! Sad !!! I guess that’s survival of another kind.

6 August 2021 Stabile

August 6, 2021August 6, 2021 by saymber, posted in Uncategorized

Hello there, how are you ? I’m doing ok this morning. I just finished talking with my therapist about some things . One of the subjects that came up was about the importance of being in a stabile relationship. In order to have that I have to be stabile myself. She and I agreed that I am not entirely stabile myself. So I need to work on that.

Through the stars I cast my gaze , your face is a mystery shrouded in haze. I once knew you well, before the down times before I fell . You were always there to catch me and guide me home, then came the day you left me to fly alone. Why can’t I shake my unrequited love for you ? Why can’t I accept what is true ?

5 August 2021 Pain

August 5, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you today? Is it hot where you are ? As I write it’s a nice 79 degrees. I managed to get Link around once and a lap for me . I may go again later but I’m trying not to overdue it. I have been having some pain in my knees and upper thighs .

I hate that I’m getting older and my limbs get stiff and sore . Oh for the days when I felt invincible lol! Oh for the days when I could lose weight easily and keep it off! The thing is I don’t want to be young again – just pain free! I don’t want to have to go through all that schooling again!

4 August 2021 Chalk Therapy

August 4, 2021August 4, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you . It’s Wednesday and it’s nice out here in Middleton. This morning I tried to get the boo bear out for a walk and he wasn’t having any of that ! So I got a mile in by myself. After some cereal and coffee I decided to take advantage of the fresh driveway canvas. Some chalk therapy! Being outside and drawing is like being in church for me – both peaceful and stimulating for my brain .As of late I like drawing Metatrons cube in chalk the best, the pattern soothes me. I haven’t felt like drawing some of the stuff I used to draw like faces.

Onward soldier we go through the hazards of today we flow we recognize very little of where we have been and most surely will retrace our steps back again. The finger of God points the way to go we will eventually arrive even if our progress is slow

“Chalk therapy ” in the English Ordinal system equals 128 – (a man) ( one process of light and shadow in eternity)

3 August 2021 Science Fiction

August 3, 2021 by saymber, posted in Uncategorized

Hello to you ! How are you ? I am doing ok it’s a warm humid day after some nice rains .

My drawing today I think is based on an Amazon original series called Expanse. I’m not quite done with it yet. It’s got an interesting plot with bioterrorism using an alien life form.

Sometimes science fiction becomes science fact. The plot of the show is plausible . I can see them terraforming Mars!