Category: Exploring numeric value of words in English language

25 March 2021 Letting go

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you? This morning began with some tears during a therapy session with my counselor. We were trying to find the root cause of the anxious feelings I have been having. The more talked it over with her, the more I am realizing that this condition has been an ongoing thing.

What brought me to tears was thinking about letting go of my husband and moving on with my life. I realize that my fear of driving is just a symptom of my not wanting to make my current residence a home. If I get familiar with this place and get to know my way around that means my marriage is truly over (which it is).

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” 1 Peter 5:7 NIV

I keep getting an “anxious belly” meaning I will think about something and I will feel it. I have been talking to my therapist about this for quite some time ad she says the only way to get over this is to go through what I am avoiding. I’m just not ready yet…..I am slow about this!

Letting go is more than just the context of what I’m writing here, it’s also about my life in general – to let go and let God. I say I believe and trust in God but my actions don’t always match up to that . In some ways I hold on so tight. It makes me think of riding on a roller coaster with my husband one time and how he said “It doesn’t matter how tight you hold on you aren’t in control.” You can say that about a life too. No matter how tight you hold on to your life, you aren’t entirely in control of it.

“letting go” in the English Ordinal system equals 109 ( one resisting the unknown)

“happy ” in the English Ordinal system equals 66

““It doesn’t matter how tight you hold on you aren’t in control.” ” in the English Ordinal system equals 661

24 March 2021 Effort

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Food, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you doing today? I am doing pretty well. My day started off nicely with a visit with my Aunt and Uncle. They invited me over and we went out to breakfast and coffee at the Cracker Barrel. It felt like God answered my prayers to have a coffee buddy!

Something that I’ve noticed about praying for things is that there is usually effort involved in the actual answering part! The only thing effortless about praying is the praying! When you ask for something to happen the universe has to rearrange itself to comply with your request. You must use the powerful and positive energy of gratitude to encourage things along.

Sometimes what you are praying for requires an uneven exchange of energies. What you are asking for may just be at too great of a cost. It doesn’t mean to stop praying for someone who is terminally ill but you have to understand why that person might not get better. God always has a plan and sometimes we don’t like the plan. Look at the processes for treating terminal diseases like cancer, there seems to be a constant exchange involved. A giving and a taking…..ebb and flow. They give chemotherapy and or radiation and take diseased flesh and what is returned is hopefully healthy tissue.

I am reminded of the anime Full Metal Alchemist take on equivalent exchange:

Alchemy’s principal law is that of Equivalent Exchange. Equivalent Exchange is the principle that limits alchemy’s infinite potential. It’s a simple concept: something cannot be created from nothing, and so in order to obtain something, something else of equal value must be lost .

Fullmetal Alchemist: The Law of Equivalent Exchange, Explained (cbr.com)

“all” in the English Ordinal system equals 25

“law of equivalent exchange” in the English Ordinal system equals 250

“effort” in the English Ordinal system equals 70 (all vices in check for unknown person, place and or thing)

“brain” in the English Ordinal system equals 44

“cancer” in the English Ordinal system equals 44

23 March 2021 Guidance

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you ? I am doing ok today. I got Link out for a walk early and sought to hear God’s voice and all I heard was the wind!

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left , your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it” Isaiah 30:21 NIV Bible Promises for You

It seems like I have been seeking more guidance from God and the harder I try the more difficult it has become. Talking to God used to be almost effortless. I have had to ask where is God really?! Is God in the wind? Is God in another persons voice? Is God in something to read?

I guess I am missing my manic relationship with God. When I was manic it felt like I was in a constant conversation with God and had to exert little to no effort. God was with me when I wanted to draw, write, sing, take photographs — all the ways I used to express myself God was there! I guess not being manic is the price my creative self is having to pay.

I have to believe that God has some sort of plan for me and what I’ve have been going through. Sometimes I wonder if what I’m going through is just God adding to my personal resume! God knows from my past that I will use my pain to help someone else. What I have learned from the past is we aren’t put through anything more than we can handle and what we go through can be used to connect more deeply with someone else.

Not many people know about what it means to be Bipolar and my family has had to learn a lot from me and what I have shared with them. God had me draw the mental health card for a reason and I will continue to seek guidance on where God’s voice is as I continue to go through that.

“body” in the English Ordinal system equals 46

“guidance” in the English Ordinal system equals 64

22 March 2021 Coffee Buddy

by saymber, posted in Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello, how are you ? It’s rainy and wet this morning but I didn’t let it stop me from going to get groceries!

This passage came to me this morning and and after reading it, I feel like it’s a perfect passage for what I am going through right now:

A Time for Everything Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

3 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

This past year I experienced a lot of things in this passage. One of the biggest being uprooted! I moved 1600 plus miles from Texas to Idaho. I am so grateful that I have had family here to help me.

Honestly it’s hard to figure out what God has planned for my time here on earth. Some days it feels like nothing makes sense; like there is no plan. Other times things will fall into place like there was a plan all a long! The in between time, the waiting part, can be so difficult.

What do I want for my time here on earth?! I think it’s simple things. A friend of mine asked me this morning what happy would look like for me and my answer was having a coffee buddy! It will be interesting to see how and when God manifests this!

“people” in the English Ordinal system equals 69

“coffee buddy” in the English Ordinal system equals 96 (no all vices in check but one)

21 March 2021 Whisper

by saymber, posted in Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Spirituality and Religion

Hello, how are you? It’s Sunday afternoon as I write to you. So far this day has been kind of confusing. This morning I was guided to Proverbs 22:11 so I got out of bed and found it in my Bible and after reading it had to wonder why I was lead to it:

“He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend”

I asked one of my friends for his interpretation of what this meant and he said he thought it was about reputation and the company you keep. I just couldn’t see anything but the written word when I read it! May be the only reason I read it was for that very exchange I had with my friend?

Sometimes I wonder if I am trying too hard to hear God’s voice. I keep expecting a miracle or some large and grand gesture. May be the answer for my current circumstances can be found last night at church. The message was found in 1 Kings 9-19. It was about Elijah being in a cave hiding out and how God sometimes speaks in a whisper…..” What are you doing here, Elijah?”

For the past several months I feel like I have been in a sort of cave. I feel like I have been waiting to hear God’s voice to summon me out, “What are you doing there, Jackie?” I just have to be willing to “go from there” when it happens!

“whisper” in the English Ordinal system equals 98 (no for eternity) “Louder God, Louder!”

19 March 2021 Patience

by saymber, posted in Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello, how are you doing in your where and when as you visit me here? I hope you are well. We got some much needed rain this morning. The sound of it made me not want to get out of bed!

Last night my friend stopped by after work and she and I were talking about my blog post. She had a specific passage from the bible about God having good plans:

Jeremiah 29:11-13

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

When I read this I thought of the word patience and found this passage in Galatians about fruit of spirit:

Galatians 5:22-23

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Sometimes it takes a lot of patience when it comes to waiting for God to answer a prayer. I ask “Am I doing what you want me to be doing?” a lot! Lately my prayer has been “God I want to be what you want me to be.” For now my service has been being an additional source of prayer for some very sick people. Doing this is what I am capable of doing right now and I have to have faith that more will come when the time is right.

I love this passage because patience is woven all into it:

The Beatitudes Matthew 5

2 and he began to teach them. He said: 3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. 6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. 8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. 9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. 10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

“patience” in the English Ordinal system equals 73 (all vices in check for yes, no, may be existence)

18 March 2021 Help

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you today? I am doing alright. Even though it’s gray and overcast, it was nice for a walk with Link.

This morning I was asking for help writing to you today and I was lead to psalm 121:

Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

7 The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

What a beautiful message about where to look for help. Lately I have been asking for God’s help. With more time on my hands, I have been lead to spend more time with God . I have seeking ways to be more useful and one way that came to me was praying for people but that doesn’t feel like enough.

This morning I wrote down, “God has a good plan for you.” Sometimes it takes awhile for a plan to made manifest and I must have patience!

“Jackie” in the English Ordinal system equals 39

“God has a good plan for you” in the English Ordinal system equals 239

17 March 2021 Quiet Faith

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello, how are you ? It’s a beautiful day so far. I got Link out for his morning walk and that was good for me too!

Do you ever have mornings where you want to hear from God and all you get is is either silence or random noise? That happened to me today. So I turned to that little book from my Aunt, Bible Promises for You and found this:

Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1 NIV

Sometimes I think God’s voice is in the silence and that’s when we have to really call on our Faith.

I am trying to write every day and that has proven to be challenging. I keep wanting to hear from God in a big bold way and God doesn’t always work that way! God sometimes doesn’t speak at all. Sometimes silence is where you find the message .

“body ” in the English Ordinal system equals 46

“planet. ” in the English Ordinal system equals 68

“Sometimes silence is where you find the message . ” in the English Ordinal system equals 468

16 March 2021 Procrastination

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there! How are you this day as you visit me here? I hope you are doing well. I asked God for a topic today and all that came forth was one word procrastination. I decided I didn’t like how I feel thinking about that word! When I think of that word it provokes anxiety! I start asking myself questions like “What have I left undone God?” “What should I be doing that I’m not doing!” So I sought inspiration in a little book my Aunt gave me for me birthday last year; it’s called Bible Promises For You:

I am Joyful

You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Isaiah 55:12 NIV

Perhaps there is some kind of connection between procrastination and joy I don’t know about? Perhaps you can’t know joy unless you do what your putting off ? So if something is really nagging you the sooner you get it done the sooner you will experience joy? I wonder. I think a big part of procrastination for me is fear:

I am Unafraid

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10 NLT

Here are some of the key words in numbers:

brain” in the English Ordinal system equals 44

“ inspiration” in the English Ordinal system equals 144

“procrastination ” in the English Ordinal system equals 192 (one no light and shadow existence)

“religion” in the English Ordinal system equals 89

“joyful ” in the English Ordinal system equals 89

“Jesus” in the English Ordinal system equals 74

“unafraid” in the English Ordinal system equals 74

15 March 2021 Sugar

by saymber, posted in Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Food, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you ? I hope this finds you well. We are having beautiful weather right now and I am so grateful. I am hearing places like where my parents live and some of my friends are having a spring blizzard!

Well this morning I was asking for a topic and the one that came through above all the others was “Sugar.” Since my divorce and all that has been going on in my life, I have gained a lot of weight. A big part of of the weight gain is I have been seeking comfort in food. I have had a lifelong addiction to sugar. Sugar has always been a big part of my diet in whatever form I can get it. Sometimes it’s natural sugar and most other times it’s cookies, candy and things that I drink. My particular Biome, little earth inside my gut, just seems to run on the stuff . If I don’t get enough of it, I act like someone who is in withdrawal from another addictive substances.

It seems like if I am not addicted to one thing it’s something else. I want to claim victory over addictive substances and can’t entirely do it on my own!

Just this morning I was listening to a recent teaching by Joyce Meyer. She brings up a good point that what we think about gains power. So in order to have victory over sugar I need to talk to myself and be in prayer with God like I already do have victory over it. This Is a lesson I have been taught time and time again and I just need to put forth the effort to show I have learned it. Today I have to go the grocery store and I will be tempted! I will need to put on my holy armor!

Ephesians 6:10-18

The Armor of God

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Psalm 17: Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings – thinking of my Grandma saying to me when I visited her one time that I was the apple of her eye!

“sugar” in the English Ordinal system equals 66 (all vices in check but one TWICE so an entire self submitting to addiction)