Tag: personal experience with the Holy Spirit

28 July 2026 Surrender

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello there. As I write today is another smoky and hazy day. I haven’t done any walks because of the conditions. After I write this I am going to try and do a 20 min Tai Chi session on YouTube with Don Fiore.

I had a therapy session today and we ended with Alyssa giving me a challenge. She asked me to do a drawing of what surrender looks like for me now. The last big surrender was when I was still married to Ken and lived in Florida. When I turned myself into the care of God, the doors of freedom and recovery flew open.

Here is an abbreviated version of what happened. While stationed in Colorado and then Florida I had started abusing alcohol. One day, in Florida, I met a man who was a broker, can’t remember his name, but he was striking. He was a black man with incredibly blue eyes. He asked me if I had a church home and I said no. He invited me to his mega non- denominational church. I went and the message was about the Holy Spirit being an actual person. The next day I was on my patio drunk and miserable. I simply said “I surrender.” The very next day the Holy Spirit began his work on me. I rode my bike to work and was going to go even with a hangover. As I was getting ready to go I watched the chain on my bike fall off in slow motion. I fixed the chain but was running late now to get to work. I was riding in front of where Ken used to work and all the sudden a Transam about ran me over. I was really shook up now! Had I been there a few seconds earlier I would have been hit!

When I got to work I remembered I had my annual physical exam so I left again. At the appointment there was a questionnaire and alcohol use was one of the questions. I had the courage to be honest. Because I was honest, within a couple days I was in rehab in Maryland! At first Ken and I were mad because we didn’t think I was an alcoholic. Later I realized it was to get the alcohol out of my system to see what was really going on. There is much more to my story of this surrender – let’s just say when the Holy Spirit is in charge nothing is impossible!

I feel like I’ve been doing what God wants me to do right now. My physical conditions prevent me from over doing it like I used to do. What would happen if I surrendered again? Would I be healed so I could be a worthy vessel of the Holy Spirit or how I am now is forever? This drawing is how I view Surrender right now:

Putting to crude drawing what Surrender looks like today

Spin of the World Prayer Wheel:

Let my heart be the vessel of God’s Love.

Let my thoughts be the blossom of God’s Love.

Let my words be the expression of God’s Love.

Let my actions be the fulfillment of God’s Love.

willingness – david ridge

5 April 2021 Truth

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, books, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you doing today? I am doing ok.

Today’s journey in the Bible lead me here:

Prophecy of Scripture 2 Peter 12-21

12 So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have. 13 I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body, 14 because I know that I will soon put it aside, as our Lord Jesus Christ has made clear to me. 15 And I will make every effort to see that after my departure you will always be able to remember these things.

16 For we did not follow cleverly devised stories when we told you about the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ in power, but we were eyewitnesses of his majesty. 17 He received honor and glory from God the Father when the voice came to him from the Majestic Glory, saying, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”[b] 18 We ourselves heard this voice that came from heaven when we were with him on the sacred mountain.

19 We also have the prophetic message as something completely reliable, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts. 20 Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet’s own interpretation of things. 21 For prophecy never had its origin in the human will, but prophets, though human, spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.

This is an important passage for someone like me who sometimes has doubts. What is the truth? Is this a first hand account? Perhaps it comes down to belief. Does it matter whether or not it’s a first hand account if it’s the word of God? My personal truth is it’s lonely being a doubter……having unbelief . A good friend of mine has suggested I ask God to show me the truth.

Sometimes I can get my inner “zoo” quiet enough to hear a voice of reason inside. Like just now, “Have faith, everything will make sense. I will guide you there is no need to feel anxious.” What is the source of this voice inside? Is it the Holy Spirit or just my brain trying to get me to calm down? I guess it comes down to what I want to believe again doesn’t it?!

I have had dealings with the truth of the Holy Spirit before. It was back in 2001 a whole sequence of events happened after I went to a mega church service in Melbourne Florida. The message was about the Holy Spirit being an actual entity. I was sitting in my sun porch in base housing after drinking heavily again. I was tired of being drunk again and under my breath I said , “Holy Spirit I surrender.” Well that next day the Holy Spirit and his divine timing began. I was going to ride my bike to work like I normally do and the chain just fell off the bike! I had to put it back on and my hands got all oily. Well I got cleaned up and was riding the path I normally take by the 45th Intelligence Squadron and a Transam came racing up on me and almost hit me! I was very shaken. Then I got to work and found out I had an annual physical exam so I had to ride my bike again. I was given a questionnaire and one of the questions talked about my alcohol usage and I decided to be honest. I was drinking too much to cope with my life and within a couple days I was on a plane to Maryland into a treatment facility! It turned out to be exactly what I needed even if I didn’t think so at first. I whispered for divine help and I got it.

I think this passage is true:

Matthew 17:20
He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Not all of life’s experiences are dramatic as what I shared but they do bear witness to the power and truth of God in our daily lives.

“balance” in the English Ordinal system equals 38

“if you have faith as small as a mustard seed” in the English Ordinal system equals 383 (yes, no, may be for eternity yes, no may be existence)