Category: Spirituality and Religion

2 March 2021 Reclaiming Joy

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you doing in your where and when as you visit me here? I have been having a pretty quiet day listening to some people like Joyce Meyer. One of the things she talks about a lot is how we can get robbed of our joy by “the enemy.” I don’t believe in a Satan, but I do believe for every positive force in the world there is an equal and powerful negative one. So if I am happy for whatever reason, there is an equal unhappy “something” waiting in the wings to swing the pendulum of my life.

So what I do when I feel like I am being robbed of my Joy, (my middle name)is I have to evaluate what’s going on in my life and see if there is anything I can do to “right the ship.” Some of it for me has to with something simple as routines. This morning I didn’t follow the routine of getting up, taking my medications and vitamins, making coffee and eating breakfast. Instead I decided to go and get groceries; something I dread doing. Just this minor change in routine affected my entire day and affected my “joy.”

A big part of reclaiming a sense of joy is to decide I am going to do it. I have to make a conscious decision that I want to be happy instead of dreading life. Lately I have been praying to God, the Holy Spirit in particular, for help with this because I know I can’t get out of the depression rut alone. Remembering to be thankful is a big key when I am in the process of reclaiming joy in life. Simple things like saying thank you for a meal, for a particular place and or person in my life. It’s the little things that add up to make a life worth living. It’s little things that are the building blocks to joy.

I am trying to get in the habit of writing everyday as a form of therapy. If there is anything you would like me to write about please let me know in the comments!

“Reclaiming Joy ” in the English Ordinal system equals 141

In case your curious about Joyce Meyer:

1 March 2021 Where Two or Three are Gathered….

by saymber, posted in Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you doing today? I am doing pretty good. My Aunt and I went over to a new friends house today to learn how to crochet. This woman lives alone with her little dog named Grace and like me welcomes having someone besides her own company to visit with. This came to mind thinking about our gathering together:

Matthew 18:20 – For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

Something else I figured out about this type of gathering what I call a power pyramid. There is just something powerful about having a triangle formation. May be it is because God is “in there.” I hadn’t been crocheting for quite some time but sitting in that power pyramid I felt I could! It just felt good!

I feel like we are social beings and called to community with each other. God wants to be “in there” right in the middle! I am trying to figure out how I fit into the community I find myself in now. One of the things that holds me back the most from truly immersing myself is driving. For most gatherings you have to drive somewhere to participate. I am going to have to pray about this obstacle and see what paths God opens up for me.

28 Feb 2021 New Doors

by saymber, posted in Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How is life treating you as you visit me here? I hope well! When I was thinking of a topic for todays post, New Doors came to mind. If I think about my life these past couple of years, I think of my having to walk through doors. I have had to permanently close doors behind me and get keys to unlock the door ahead of me.

I am not the only one who is having to do this. Just recently my cousin and her husband went through a door I haven’t had to yet and that is the one where you lose a parent. It is a very heavy door to both open, close and lock behind you. They have done it with love and grace. Today when I was over there they were painting the room where his Mother lived and preparing the room to be an apartment for their daughter. I could feel some of the leftover emotions; it’s so hard to move on sometimes but they are doing it!

A prayer I pray at times like these is one my Aunt and I said when they were trying to find a place for my Grandmother to live after they sold her house. It’s a simple prayer but very powerful:

“May the doors that need to open, open. May the doors that need to shut, shut. We pray this in your name, Amen.

That is my prayer for my cousins family, for my family and for anyone reading this today as we move to days of uncertainty ahead. I am hoping that the new doors that open have love, joy and comfort behind them.

“new doors” in the English Ordinal system equals 113 – two selves in a yes, no, may be existence

27 Feb 2021 “Why Now?!”

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you doing today? I am still trying to process news I got yesterday about my Dad. He and my Mom decided that in the near future my Dad will be moved into an assisted care facility. It came as kind of a shock. My initial reaction was selfish asking “Why Now?!!” I have just been through so much and am starting to get some semblance of order in my life and then this news!

“You need to Grow More!” Is the answer I heard to my question just as I was about to write this. What else could I possibly have to learn and or grow about God?! I feel like I barely catch my breath from one “learning opportunity” when another one, usually more difficult in nature, shows up. Sometimes it feels like there is no immediate reason things happen in my life. It isn’t until sometimes much later that the answers come.

Part of what is giving a problem is the thought of having to go see my Dad in the condition he’s in. Ever since my last hospitalization, my relationship with my parents has been strained. We haven’t been keeping in touch much and my Dad’s health has gone downhill really fast. I am unprepared for this stage of my life. I’m not ready to grow up! Sadly I have no choice, every grown child that has parents has to face this phase of their life. Even if I am kicking and screaming along the way it’s still going to happen!

Something that comes to me about this and what I am supposed to be learning is forgiveness. There is a lot I haven’t forgiven. So I am going to do a lot of reaching out on this and pray that God gives me guidance and wisdom on how to face this new stage of life.

“Why Now? You need to grow more!” in the English Ordinal system equals 346 (34 = one 46 = body)

26 Feb 2021 What are you working on ?

by saymber, posted in books, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Home, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello how are you today? I am staying warm and dry. We just had a bunch of wind and then snow blow in a few minutes ago!

So I was thinking about a topic for today: “Human life consists of four levels of being – spiritual, mental emotional, and physical. The path of transformationn involves clearing, healing, developing, and integrating all four of these levels” *pg 72 The Path of Transformation How Healing Ourselves Can Change the World by Shakti Gawain. I am currently working primarily on the spiritual part of my life; my relationship with God as I understand them. The closer I get to God the more the other areas of my life seem to want to come into alignment for my greatest good.

I am feeling the hole in my spirit being filled and when I feel “full” of spirit the hunger I feel physically is more balanced. During this process I’ve been going through – namely the divorce- I have gained a lot of weight. To compensate for the emptiness I have been feeling spiritually – the loneliness – I have been eating more than I should.

I was telling one of my friends today that I noticed when I was in a committed relationship with someone, my relationship with God has taken a back seat. Then when I lost the relationship with a tangible being I felt all alone because I hadn’t kept my relationship with God alive. So this time alone is teaching me again that when I keep a strong relationship with God I don’t have to feel alone and indulge in behaviors that aren’t healthy for me.

I hope something here resonates with you. I feel like when I am going through something and share it, I am working with the God of my understanding. I am helping myself and helping someone else too! I hope you have a good day.

“body” in the English Ordinal system equals 46

“spiritual mental emotional and physical ” in the English Ordinal system equals 406


25 Feb 2021 Victory

by saymber, posted in Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you? I am doing well as I write to you. Today I had a nice visit with my Aunt and Uncle at their home. We were talking about health and how my Aunt has lost so many friends to cancer. As she talked about this I found myself thinking of positive affirmations and or prayers. The first one that came to me was “I claim victory for my family and friends over cancer.” As I said it I found that my chest got warm! I felt a “glow” inside. There is just a sense of powerlessness when it comes to cancer so it felt good to at least think/feel/say such an empowering phrase!

Lets see what Victory is in the numbers:

“victory” in the English Ordinal system equals 112 – two selves in a light and shadow existence

24 Feb 2021 Manifestation

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello and Good Morning. How are you doing today? I am doing pretty well. I had some cereal and coffee and Link has been out. It’s very cold this morning so the walk will have to wait!

Lately I have been feeling like I am back in “life school.” My Dad told me a long time ago and I believe it, that life is school and we are never out of class. In the past year I have been through some pretty heavy duty courses! I have been going through a divorce, sold a house, bought a house, got my license plates and driver’s license in another state just to name a couple things. The lions share of the course work seems to be about my figuring out how to not be codependent.

It wasn’t until I really started to grieve the lost of my marriage did I realize how codependent of a person I could be. I used to be perfectly fine being alone but that was when I knew I had someone to come back to. Now that I am alone with Link I am having to figure out how to be truly alone. I’m back in school and the class is Manifestation.

I am having to remember I have the power to manifest my reality – I’ve done it before. I did it through writing, art, and various other means to make the reality I wanted to live. When I practiced manifestation before it was trying to bring about the relationship I really wanted. I want to manifest another relationship but before that I want to be healthy in myself. I don’t know if it’s possible to be open for a new relationship and a new life at the same time. I am having to turn to God about this. A couple affirmations from yesterdays reading really stuck out:
*All difficulties between me and ______ are now being healed *The more I love myself the more I love ____.

I love __________and _________ loves me. *Pg 132 Creative Visualization

My temptation was to put my husbands name in the blank spaces but then instead I put God. I want my husband to want me back but his every word and deed is in opposition to that. When you strip away all the possibilities it is God that still remains. When I think of the way things have been the past couple of years, I was married but was spending most of my time with an intangible God. Now is my opportunity to see what it’s like with no one in the way of that relationship. It’s been a rough start but I am coming around to the idea. I want to be complete and whole inside and these thoughts are all part of the manifestation process I’m going through again. The man I want to share my life with must believe in a power greater than himself – God.

So we’ll see what happens in the time that is before me. Lets see what manifestation is in the numbers:

“body” in the English Ordinal system equals 46

“manifestation” in the English Ordinal system equals 146

23 Feb 2021 Belief and Faith

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you doing today? I am having a pretty quiet day. The sun is out and it’s a beautiful day here. I am reading books again and revisited a book that I have read several times before by Shakti Gawain called Creative Visualization. A lot of the principles she outlines in her book about manifesting the reality you want to live in requires, in my opinion, belief and faith. Sometimes you have to suspend disbelief to get to belief! Faith is believing without seeing .

In revisiting this book I am trying to feed myself intangible food that can help me kick the depression aka “funk” I have been in for so long now. Some of the exercises in the book talk about making positive affirmations for example: “God lives within me and manifests in the world through me” pg 50 Affirmations are one of the most important elements of creative visualization. To affirm means “to make firm.” An affirmation is a strong, positive statement that is already so. It is a way of “making firm” that which you are imaging. pg 42

I have been trying to come up with my own affirmations and the only one that I have come up with so far is “he is on his way.” In context it’s me wanting to manifest a new partner in my reality when God shows me I’m ready. I can remember when I grieved losing my cocker spaniel Sam. Three years I begged God to bring him back to me and he answered my prayers with Link. God answers my prayers when it’s divinely time not on my calendar . It could be three minutes, three days, three months and or three years I have to wait before I’m ready to be in relationship with someone again. The focus right now is my getting healthy enough to be able to even consider being in relationship with another person.

So I am having to have belief and faith that my affirmation has the power of a prayer and will be answered. A couple affirmations: “I believe everything is alright now.” and “I have faith in God.”

“balance” in the English Ordinal system equals 38

“I have faith in God ” in the English Ordinal system equals 138

22 Feb 2021 Friendship

by saymber, posted in Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you today? I am doing pretty good I guess. I am thinking about a question I asked my Aunt yesterday, “How do you make friends?” I asked her because she and my Uncle seem to have so many friends. She said for her it’s that she loves meeting new people; that’s her thing. The other thing is showing a genuine interest in what the person you meet is interested in. The sad truth is though that after you leave school, it’s just harder to meet and make new friends.

If I am honest with myself, it’s never been hard for me to make friends, it’s been hard for me to keep them. When I meet new people I do express genuine interest in what they are talking about. It just seems like a lot of people “pass through” my life but don’t stay or if they do they are not local.

I have been praying for tangible friends to come into my life and eventually a tangible companion who can help share my life. It all starts with friendship. May be I need to learn more about what it means to be a friend before God will shift my life in that direction. I have a lot to learn about a lot of things and being a good friend is definitely one of those things.

Let’s see what friendship is in the numbers:
“friendship” the English Ordinal system equals 108 – one with the unknown for eternity

20 Feb 2021 Getting up

by saymber, posted in Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello, how are you you doing today? I am finally getting up and engaging in the day. It’s so hard for me to do that and it never used to be. I used to be able to get up in the morning no problem. There was a routine and it just flowed. Now that I am alone with Link I am having to figure out a new routine and even after all these months, I’m still having trouble.

There is an anxiety inside of me first thing in the morning. What am I going to do with my day? Does it even matter if I get up? What is my purpose and or reason for getting up – do I even have one? Some people pray and or meditate. Some people get up and go to the gym and or exercise. The most that really gets me up these days is letting Link outside to go to the bathroom!

Lets see what Getting up looks like in the number numbers:

“getting up ” in the English Ordinal system equals 119 – just by looking at this number is looks like a struggle of the inside and outside of self with a “no” existence.