Hello there, how are you? It’s a new day and another day of getting through this life differently than I did before. This, for me, oftentimes means changing how I think. Instead of awfulizing things, I am having to look at things in a more positive light.
What do I want to feel? What do I want to think? What would make me happy to think about? Sometimes it feels almost like a reflex to think negatively and when I do, I break out into a cold sweat and get a chill through my whole body. I am taking anti-anxiety medications but they don’t always help me.
I don’t want to forget the past, but when I remember it, I want to be able to reflect on it without cold sweats. I want to be able to listen to music, watch television and or movies without such a visceral reaction and connection to the past. The past twelve plus had some of the happiest and saddest memories of my life . I don’t want to act like they just didn’t happen. I also don’t want them to paralyze me either ! There has to be a way to coexist with the past and present memories so I have a future. The only way I see to do that is to change how I think.
Let’s see what it looks like in the numbers:
“changing how you think” in the English Ordinal system equals 232 (light and shadow self yes, no, may be, light and shadow self process)
“two three two” in the English Ordinal system equals 172 (one all vices in check light and shadow self process – 72 also =world and money)
“one seven two” in the English Ordinal system equals 157 (one all senses all vices in check 57 = human)
“one five seven” in the English Ordinal system equals 141 (one left side of the brain one process 41 = garbage)
“one four one ” in the English Ordinal system equals 128 (one light and shadow of self eternity and or racetrack existence 28=man)
“one two eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 141 *pattern with 141 and 128