Hello to. How are you doing today? I’m up and got Link out on the morning drag. When you walk Link it’s not always you walking him but him having a pretty good idea of what the walk is about. He definitely has his own agenda! Boy dog stuff – “I MUST pee here and I MUST leave a dribble on this particular blade of grass.” Since he’s been back home he’s also been barking in the house a lot more than I remember him doing before. He and Spot used to bark, but not as much as he has been doing lately. He doesn’t have Daddy to keep him line!
Lately I have been coping with anxiety that is associated with memories. So much of my life is filled with my husband that with us being separated like we are, I have been having trouble. Everything I do has a memory associated with him and that evokes a feeling of anxiety and longing in me, Every part of the day from eating breakfast, going for the morning walk, playing a video game we used to play and even taking a shower at night are all filled with memories…..ghosts of our shared past. He was and in my mind and heart still is, my everything. I am having to make new patterns and I can feel myself resisting doing that. I don’t want to figure out how to live my life without the man I love!
My family has been reminding me that I have to stay in the now and quit going backwards to avoid those anxious feelings and it’s hard for me right now! I am sure God has a plan in all this but some of it sure seems to hurt!
I baked cupcakes yesterday to take out to him and the family for Memorial Day. I had packed up a bunch of my kitchen stuff so it was nice to get it back out for that – to do something normal. Hopefully the weather is going to cooperate. They were talking about us getting potentially heavy rain tomorrow…..I hope not. I have been looking forward to this for so long! I miss my husband, Spot and most definitely seeing tangible family.
Not much else to write. I’m trying to stay in the habit of writing as a part of my therapy and coping strategies.
Thank you for stopping by!
“ghost” in the English Ordinal system equals 69
“people” in the English Ordinal system equals 69
To be 