14 May 2020 Support Systems

Hello to you.  How are you doing today?  Well I’m up, got a load of laundry in and some hot tea brewed.  I got some sleep last night which is important right now for me to stay strong.  I’m working on the new laptop I ordered  and so far so good on that.  I bought it planning for downsizing and mobility for my future.

So what’s on my mind after the past couple of days is support systems and how important they are to have when you are going through the many things I’m going through at once.   I just recently got out of the hospital.  We are planning to be sell our house.  I will be making a long distance move.  My husband and I are separated and will potentially be getting a divorce.  That’s a lot of stuff to go through at once!   Everybody that knows, loves and cares about me wants for my happiness so a support system is getting stronger to help me through all of this.

I have been talking a lot to the family I ultimately will be living with and near.  They have become a strong support system for me long distance but they have encouraged me to make sure I have something here as well.

My husband is only able to do so much considering what is going on between us.  I am realizing without him here with me just how much I relied on him for a bunch of things to include moral support.   It’s really hard living without him!  With everything that’s happened,  I can’t completely rely on him and his family now and understandably so.  They have already been very helpful and are doing what they can given the circumstances and for that I’m very grateful.

One of the big obstacles for me right now is living in the house with our shared stuff and contemplating getting a POD delivered and having to pack it.   I’m feeling a overwhelmed and have been experiencing a lot of anxiety.    My Aunt encouraged me to back off a little and allow my husband to do his part too.   What’s going on is a lot of the stuff we have isn’t even worth keeping or selling.  He’s already taken most of what he says he wants out of the house but there is a lot of furniture and clothing yet of his here.  I can’t just put everything to the curb for the garbage to pick up.  The garbage people only pick up so much stuff at a time.   I just have to be patient about this and trust we will get it all worked out.

So I am having to use the system that has been put in place for me and reach out in the ways I can so I stay connected.  With this pandemic going on things aren’t as easy as they used to be but at least there is something.

Like my Aunt told me yesterday, we are going to use the technology we have to our advantage.  She said she has been praying for me a lot and God even answered saying, “She’s your gift.”  I hope so, sometimes I don’t feel like one!  We decided we can talk every day if we want to!  We will do whatever we have to do to get through this as a family.

Yesterday I also had a long visit with my cousins wife who has a Master’s in Psychology and that really helped a lot.  She emphasized the importance of my utilizing the system I have access to.  For example just having someone to talk to at least once a week from a professional standpoint that isn’t family – someone to check on me kind of thing.  So I made contact with my Care Manager and arranged for that.  As she and I talked about, just having someone to talk to even for a few minutes really helps you get through the day. Something else wise she said, “we are not our problems.”   Hearing her say that really resonated with me.

I am sharing all of this as a way to help me help others if that makes sense. Writing also helps me process what  I’m going through.    Something I learned when I was in AA was to share my experience, strength and hope.  When you share the difficulties you are going through and how you are going through them, you can potentially help someone else facing similar circumstances.

Thank you in advance friends and family who visit me here and read.  Your support means a lot to me!