Hello there, how are you? Hard to believe it’s already Wednesday. Where do the days go?!!! My answer is usually “away, they just go away.” Sometimes I will sit and the clock seems to have a mind of it’s own like there is a fast forward button!
So I asked a friend for a blog topic today because I was having a hard time coming up with one. The topic he recommended was growth in the context of having a thicker skin when facing the world. I am a self identified empath and the person who suggested the topic is too. We are sensitive to the world and oftentimes feel weak because of it. Somedays everything feels like I have no skin at all. It feels like everything is touching raw nerves.
So how does one grow beyond what I’m describing? For me it’s just taking time and falling down and getting back up a lot. Getting a thicker skin when dealing with things doesn’t just magically happen. I have always been a sensitive person and the world immediate and beyond has always affected me even if I didn’t want it to. The best way I have found to be stronger about it is to limit my exposure to stuff around me family and otherwise. There is only so much a person can take before it begins to adversely affect their own life and health.
“spirit” in the English Ordinal system equals 91
“grow a thicker skin ” in the English Ordinal system equals 191
“poison” in the English Ordinal system equals 88 (it’s interesting that poison and empathy have the same values because being empathic can mean ingesting a lot of toxins from people, places and things)
“empathy” in the English Ordinal system equals 88
“empath” in the English Ordinal system equals 63
Another part of growing is what is facing me now and that is finding another place to live. When I was living in Texas I was in and out of the hospital for four years. Thankfully I had my husband and family there to help me through much of that but this last time I was mainly on my own. It’s difficult to even write about this but I know I have to .
My fear of moving out and being on my own is that I will end up like I did in Texas after I got out of the hospital. I could barely function. I used to be so frantic for companionship that would eat with a family member by the cell phone. I feel being out on my own this time will be worse because I am living in a new place and don’t know where everything is on top of having anxiety. I have been in situations like this before but not as the person I am now, I didn’t have to do it alone. My anxiety and fear is a physical feeling more than ever before. I just know I can’t do it alone and the people in my life that I would be asking to help are really busy with their own lives. I feel it would be an imposition to ask even though they reassure me it wouldn’t be.
I know I can’t stay at my Aunt and Uncles place indefinitely but I am just feeling some sense of normalcy and or safety and I don’t want to lose that feeling. I think a big part of this too is my resisting that I am a single person. I have to let God on this now and trust that everything is going to be alright.
“fear of moving” in the English Ordinal system equals 131 (has a 13 in it )