25 Oct 2017 Sunlamp drawing at night and David (dream)

Hello to you.  It’s Wednesday morning and nice and cool outside.  Think I heard there might even be a possible freeze?!  There are any number of things going on in my head thinking about that, chuckling a bit, considering Trump Jr. was here yesterday (https://www.texasobserver.org/donald-trump-jr-university-of-north-texas/) yesterday.  I’ll keep the quips to myself.

So I decided to go out back with my sunlamp last night and draw a bit.  I was rewarded.  A couple of inquisitive winged visitors came and posed for me.  I imagine it’s quite curious to them that a fragment of sunlight should be shining in the darkness!  They didn’t act like they do when the regular outdoor lights are on….they were calm.  It was fun for me to get some practice sketching of live subjects.  One moth came to see what I was doing and did a little posing.  Landed on my leg for a bit then flew away for awhile.  They came back a bit later to inspect my rather shoddy rendering of them lol.  They walked around on the drawing like Link and Spot do or when Amber used to inspect my work and they seemed to say to me, “You need ALOT more practice” before disappearing back into the night.  If you pay attention and mind your energy, you can have such interactions with insects.

Communication is more than just what you can see, it’s your internal energy fluctuations as well.  This is something I’ve learned from trying to understand insects and other life forms I share the planet with.   The first person who really helped me understand this concept with regards to communicating with dogs was Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer.

I had a really fun dream last night.  I dreamt I got to be with and talk to David Bowie again.  It was like I was a time traveler.  When I was first with him he was looking like Ziggy Stardust.  I was telling him there was something that could be done for a skin condition he had.  He was really pale.  I told him there were things I couldn’t tell him (I guess this was almost having a lucid moment in the dream realizing the responsibility of time travelers not to mess with the time line) but I told him he would be handsome.  As I said that, he morphed from looking like Ziggy to how he looked in the 1990’s but more of a beefcake version of himself then.  He put on a silly face and said, “I’ll look like this?”

Dreams like this help me.  Sometimes I’ll be outside and look up at the sky and ask where David and everyone I’ve ever loved and lost go.  Kind of like in the movie about Temple Grandin and she has witnesses the euthanasia of a horse and asks, “Where did it go?!”  Everywhere…..they go anywhere and everywhere.  I believe when the spark of God, the energy within us can no longer survive in our body, this energy we were rejoins the God of my understanding, energy, until taking on a new form.


Temple Grandin

Where Did It Go?

Right before my sister’s body convulsed in the terrible grip of death, I received a gift from her learning-challenged son. He had been with me at her hospice bedside saying goodbye. After asking his mother to say hello to Elvis for him in heaven (which even garnered a wisp of a smile from her solemn, sedated face), he gave me his mother’s hand and said, “She’s gone. God took her with Him. Couldn’t you feel God here in the room?”

His confidence that she was no longer in that body has saved me from reliving the strange savagery of her end…over and over again.

I was reminded of this mystery of our souls’ departure by Temple Grandin’s story of Autism and her sensitivity to the death of animals. When the body of a euthanized horse collapsed, limp and empty, she asked about the spirit, “Where did it go?” 

Also in Elizabeth J. Church’s words about the heroin’s father’s death in The Atomic Weight of Love: “Where did all of that energy go? What happened to the bounty of his being, his love for us, for me?”

It’s an important observance and question. Those who see a bit differently often see more than the rest of us.