5 Dec 2018 Bible Study…She fell in love with a ghost

Hello to you.  the past couple of days I have been riddling out a lot of personal things which include scripture.  For most of my life, pretty much ever since I found out the cause for my birth mother’s taking her own life, post partum depression,  I have been blaming myself.  Post Partum depression, or what they call “Baby Blues” is something that occurs after child birth.  If I hadn’t ever been born may be she wouldn’t have done what she did.  My Dad and I don’t talk much about my Mom and that’s because I know it would hurt him and it hurts me too.   I love my Dad so much.  I know if we embarked on those discussions it would be like opening Pandora’s Box.  He has found a way through this life without opening it.  I must open my own.  We all have one.  A place inside of us that we put things too horrible to face and we shut them away so we can almost forget they even exist.  It’s important to remember even the best of boxes don’t always seal completely shut and contents leak out.

One thing he did tell me about her was her devotion to God and religion.  Perhaps overly so.  Her father, Reverend Harold or Hal Becker, served the God of his understanding for many years.  His wife Carol, my Mom Jeanne, her sister Ruth and their brother Bill were part of that service.  After she took her life at the young age of 26 with the gun my Dad used in his work as a policeman, he put away that service, never got over my Mom’s death and neither have I.  There was much blaming and finger pointing after she died.  Mostly directed at my Dad for leaving his gun in the house with her after she came home from Yankton State Mental Hospital.   Ultimately who is to blame?  My Mom.  She chose to do what she did whatever her state of mind was at the time.  Who is to blame when we become overweight?  When we succumb to a night of drinking?  Texting while we are driving and get into an accident?  We want it to be someone or something else.  We would like to have someone or something else to blame besides ourselves.

Her death has been and still is a mystery, a cold-case file that there aren’t any answers to.  I have gained personal insight in my quest to know her.  She and I have much in common, if what I’ve been told about her and have read is true.  She loved God.  Loving God is a lot like being in love with a ghost.  You can’t see a tangible being but recently, within the past few years, that changed for me.  I started to understand why I was always fascinated with Dracula lore by reflecting on what I experienced trying to be a Roman Catholic.  I can remember one time as a child kneeling during mass and really thinking about what was being said about the blood of Christ and I nearly fainted!

With the help of my Dad and others like Cesar Millan, Maran Keshe, Nikola Tesla and Wilhelm Reich and so many others (animals, insects, the trees, plants, fish etc) living and dead I began to understand energy.  I began to look around and see God everywhere in everyone and everything….”everything is energy….everything is God.”  Just this past year or so the exploration of words as numbers came to me.  Now I dig even deeper and find truth in numbers and I am even closer to the God I have come to understand.

I don’t blame God for my misfortunes.  I don’t blame God for anything because my life has been a series of choices I made.  There might be some behind the scenes stuff going on I am not privy to but to look at my life for it’s face value – it’s my responsibility.  Loving the God of my understanding and seeking to know them better helps me make better choices.

 

she fell in love with a ghost in Simple Gematria equals: 274

13/4/2/1 or 13 divided by 2 = 6.5 = 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

holy spirit in Simple Gematria equals: 151

52/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

jesus christ in Simple Gematria equals: 151*

52/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

(Jesus = 74 Christ = 77) Energy = 74 Power = 77)

earth in Simple Gematria equals: 52*

7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

the bible in Simple Gematria equals: 63

9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle

a person in Simple Gematria equals: 88

16/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1 or 16/8/4/2/1

a human being in Simple Gematria equals: 95

14/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1  or 14/7

a people in Simple Gematria equals: 70

7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1  or 14/7

a ghost in Simple Gematria equals: 70

7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1  or 14/7

third wheel in a relationship in Simple Gematria equals: 282

48 or 84/12/3 cycle or 12/6/12/3 cycle

my father�s house has many rooms in Simple Gematria equals: 344 (we are rooms for God)

a body in Simple Gematria equals: 47

= 1687/787/22/4/2/1  or 22 divided by 2 = 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8 divided by 2 = 4 divided by 2 = 2 divided by 2 = 1

 

holy eucharist in Simple Gematria equals: 164

74/11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

flesh in Simple Gematria equals: 50

5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

blood in Simple Gematria equals: 48

12 divided by 2 = 6 divided by 3 = 1.5 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle

red wine in Simple Gematria equals: 78

15/6/3 or 15 divided by 2 = 7.5 = 12/6/3 cycle

the last supper in Simple Gematria equals: 180

9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle

animal sacrifice in Simple Gematria equals: 123

6 divided by 2 = 3 divided by 2 = 1.5 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle

human sacrifice in Simple Gematria equals: 130

4/2/1

people sacrifice in Simple Gematria equals: 142

7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

war in Simple Gematria equals: 42

6 divided by 2 = 3 divided by 2 = 1.5 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle

gun in Simple Gematria equals: 42

6 divided by 2 = 3 divided by 2 = 1.5 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle

suicide in Simple Gematria equals: 70

7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8 divided by 2 = 4 divided by 2 = 2 divided by 2 = 1

murder in Simple Gematria equals: 79

16/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8 divided by 2 = 4 divided by 2 = 2 divided by 2 = 1 or 16/8/4/2/1

= 1148/68/14/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8 divided by 2 = 4 divided by 2 = 2 divided by 2 = 1

a soul in Simple Gematria equals: 68

= 1216/37/10/1 or 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

 

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+14&version=NIV

John 14 New International Version (NIV)

Jesus Comforts His Disciples

14 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God[a]; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”

Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit

15 “If you love me, keep my commands. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be[c] in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21 Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.”

 

one bread one body in Simple Gematria equals: 144

54 or 45/9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle

omnipresence in Simple Gematria equals: 136 (A Nine – Nein…No)

10/1 or 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

be everywhere at once in Simple Gematria equals: 199 (A Thirteen)

19/10/1 or 19 divided by 2 = 9.5 = 14 divided by 2 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1  or 14/7

difficult in Simple Gematria equals: 90

9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle

be all at once in Simple Gematria equals: 90

9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle

be everything to everyone in Simple Gematria equals: 284

68/14/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1  or 14/7

please everyone all of the time in Simple Gematria equals: 293

59/14/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1  or 14/7

just be in Simple Gematria equals: 77

14/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1  or 14/7

you are ultimately responsible for your behavior in Simple Gematria equals: 555*

15/6/3 cycle or 15 divided by 2 = 7.5 = 12 divided by 2 = 6 divided by 3 = 1.5 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle

blame in Simple Gematria equals: 33

6/3 cycle

responsibility in Simple Gematria equals: 192

39 or 93/12 divided by 2 = 6 divided by 3 = 1.5 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle

a choice in Simple Gematria equals: 44

8/4/2/1  (choice=43/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1)

everything is energy everything is god in Simple Gematria equals: 422

26/8/4/2/1

= 2423/65/11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8 divided by 2 = 4 divided by 2 = 2 divided by 2 = 1

1687 + 1216 + 2423 = 5326/78

15/6/3 cycle or 15 divided by 2 = 7.5 = 12 divided by 2 = 6 divided by 3 = 1.5 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle*

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7 July 2018 Proof and Drawing

Hello to you. In my thoughts this afternoon was the recent headlines about President Duterte from the Philippines in regards to the traditional view of God and religion. People may have some really interesting things to say about him with how he has been running the country. I don’t want to get into that. I want to focus on his demand for someone to give him proof of God.

What came to me is what I have had to explore on this subject myself. There have been many many times I have asked for proof from God. There have been many times my prayers were answered and many times there was a busy signal or it felt like getting God’s answering machine…being put on hold even.  I have had to learn to pray without expectations.

When it comes to proof of God’s existence it seems sometimes people are looking for a miracle or some sort of magic trick to instantly happen. They will pray, like I used to, for all these specific things and when their prayer isn’t answered, they often will blame God or develop a resentment. From what I’ve read, Duterte has a legitimate reason for having a resentment against traditional religion’s version of God. Why did this God not save him as a child from being harmed by a man of the church? ? (https://www.rt.com/news/374333-duterte-priests-molesting-homosexual/)

I wonder sometimes if suffering and going through these sorts of things are part of the molding and shaping of us for the roles we will later take in life. Would Duterte be President if he had a pleasant childhood?

I wonder sometimes as I look back on my own life if going through these types of things isn’t a sort of fork in the road. Is who you will end up being determined by how you choose to deal with the trials placed upon you? Some people will go right and become healers, positive role models and leaders in their fields, and some take a deep left and live a life of suffering, crime and prison.

“It’s all about choices” – message that came to me in a dream

I believe God is pure energy and doesn’t feel about anything like we do. The phrase “it is what it is” comes to mind. I believe to some degree, and have even dreamt about this, that it’s all about the choices we make. We are co-creators with this universal energy and our thoughts, feelings and actions play a role in what is manifested for us as individuals.

My Dad helped me get back on my path to God the day he and I were sitting in our backyard and we were talking about God. My Dad and Mom are long time Roman Catholics. Since I’ve been away from home and an adult, I no longer attend church. I do not fly under any one walk of faiths banner. It’s been hard for my parents but they know I still believe in God.

On that day, Dad and I agreed that God is in everything. That moment in time helped me feel closer to my Dad. On that day, my view of God evolved out of the pages of a book and traditional views to thinking of God as the energy that gives all of creation tangible form.

I agree with Duterte to some degree with his views. I also believe there is a universal intelligence, a consciousness that makes this existence possible. In my altered states of consciousness aka “episodes”, I have experienced this intelligence. I have seen it at work and been a part of it. I watched people, places, things, sequences of events all perfectly synchronized like they were being directed by some invisible director. Everything moving through time without real consciousness of what was happening.

Sitting under our baby oak tree this evening, I thought about sitting with Duterte and showing him the proof that I have found of God’s existence. I would put him in front of a mirror and say to him, “There is your proof.”

God is energy, everything is energy. Without energy we do not exist. I think Duterte is opening an important dialogue it’s time we all had together. 

Who or what is God (Universe, Source, Nature, Energy, or Gods/Goddesses) to you?  Is there a space in you that you keep trying to fill with worldly things and nothing works or helps for very long?  For me, that is the space of God.  Nothing of this world can fill that space….believe me I’ve tried!   

By the numbers:

16 18 15 15 6

P R O O F = 70/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1 – proof is subjected to perception

7 15 4

G O D = 26/8/4/2/1

5 14 5 18 7 25

E N E R G Y = 74/11/2/1

16 5 18 3 5 16 20 9 15 14

P E R C E P T I O N = 121/4/2/1

https://www.philstar.com/headlines/2018/07/08/1831585/duterte-show-me-proof-god-exists-ill-resign

Duterte: Show me proof God exists, I’ll resign

25shares711

Edith Regalado (The Philippine Star) – July 8, 2018 – 12:00am

DAVAO CITY, Philippines — Show me your selfie with God and I will resign immediately.

President Duterte dared anyone who has gone to see God and have a selfie with Him to come back and prove the existence of God.

If this happens, then he would immediately step down from the presidency.

He told more than 1,000 participants at the 2018 National Science and Technology Week celebration held at the SMX Convention Center at SM Lanang Premiere the other night that he never said he does not believe in God.

“I tend to talk a lot about things…I believe in one supreme God…I never said I do not believe in God. I’m not agnostic and I’m not an atheist. I just happen to be a human being believing that there’s a universal mind somewhere which controls the universe,” the President added.

Duterte tackled once again the controversial issue on the existence of God rather than delve on science and technology which, he admitted, is not among his strongest points.

He clarified that what he was questioning is the logic of why is there so much agony, pain and injustice in the world.

“We’ll never really know until maybe God chooses the time for us to know the answer,” he said as he lambasted religions that ask money from people on the pretext of helping other people.

Duterte, who was criticized recently for his comments on religious matters, added that he would step down as the country’s President if someone is able to talk to God in heaven and have a selfie with Him.

“You do that today, one single witness that there is a guy, a human being, who’s able to talk and to see God. Of the so many billions that passed through Earth, I just need one. And if there is one, ladies and gentlemen, I will announce my resignation immediately,” he said.

The President questioned why God created a perfect paradise only to allow humans to be besmirched with malice and original sin, in a way questioning the theory of creation where Adam and Eve were tempted by a snake with an apple.

“So where is the logic of God there? You create a perfect (world) then you spoil it through a snake and an apple. And you give us the sin that we never even agreed to commit and that is the original sin,” Duterte added.

Meanwhile, a lay group has asked the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) to issue a very strong statement condemning the blasphemy of President Duterte for calling God stupid.

In a letter they submitted to the CBCP’s 117th Plenary Assembly attended by 73 active and six retired bishops, the Purple Cross Movement (PCM) also asked their leaders to condemn extrajudicial killings in the country.

The group members, who wore sacks and covered their faces with mud, went to the Pope Pius XII Center in Manila to relay their request.

Aleta Tolentino, a PCM member, said they expect the bishops to issue at the end of their three-day plenary “a very strong statement condemning the blasphemy and to call on the faithful to reject such blasphemy and to speak out against it.”

Tolentino asked one of the security guards at the center to deliver to the bishops their two-page letter expressing their sadness over the events that have been taking place since Duterte took power.

They asked for wisdom and guidance from their Church leaders and to tell their flock “what is right and what is wrong.”

“If the President is disrespecting our church and our God, is that right or wrong? They should categorically tell us because we are listening to them, they should lead us,” Tolentino stressed.

The PCM also appealed to Duterte to end his war against illegal drugs as it denounced the killing of Catholic priests Mark Ventura, Tito Paez and Richmond Nilo.

“Your Eminences and Excellencies, they are killing our flock – even the most vulnerable children are not spared. They are killing our flock – the rule of law is disregarded, the leaders who fight relentlessly for truth and justice are viciously silenced, and the indigenous people who live peacefully in the land they have nurtured all their lives are oppressed. They are killing our flock – our freedom of speech, our right to information and the sacred guarantee of the Constitution to due process are now clear casualties,” the PCM said in their letter.

“We refuse to be defeated and just stand idly by. We choose to learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression, bring justice to the fatherless and plead the widow’s cause,” they added.

They asked the prelates “to take your rightful place as God’s stewards of His Church. Reflection is a special time when God speaks to us and reveals Himself in silence, but from reflection comes action – a privilege and responsibility to represent God’s infinite love and justice.” – Evelyn Macairan

Read more at https://www.philstar.com/headlines/2018/07/08/1831585/duterte-show-me-proof-god-exists-ill-resign#kZ0H7x3AjGuyklav.99