11 June 2018 Expectations and Afternoon Dreams

11 June 2018 – Lately I’ve been really tired a lot and my mind has been lacking clarity. I think it’s a combination of recovering from almost two months of next to no sleep and all that “stuff” that was going on. It’s probably the unrelenting heat too. I don’t do real well with excessive heat. Texas isn’t for the faint of heart! I don’t think I’ll ever really get used to heat that sucks all the moisture out of the soil and the air! Probably why the ants are doing what they are doing. Anyhew….I decided to break into the new box of chalks from my friend. Turns out some of them have glitter flecks. I wasn’t sure about that until I saw the sparkle happen. The green square on the left has a flash of glitter light on it lol.

Hello to you.  How are you?  I hope you’ve been having a good day.  I got a letter from my Mom today and it was wonderful to hear from her.  We pen pals have worked out an agreement that we will write when we feel like it and there is no obligations to immediately write back.  My Mom and I have both been learning a lot the past few years about doing things for others and expecting things of them in return.  If you are only doing things to get some kind of response and not just because you want to do it, then may be you aren’t doing it for the right reasons.  Do what you do because you genuinely want to and without expectations. 

“Expectation is the seed of resentment”

Like this blog for instance.  Again and again my  husband reminds me and I have to remind me that I am blogging for me first.  This is a tool in my sanity toolkit – repeal of net neutrality be damned lol (http://thehill.com/policy/technology/391698-what-the-repeal-of-net-neutrality-rules-means).  Writing, art and photography are a couple of the main ways I use to help me sort through and make sense of my world.

Anyhew!

I took a much needed nap this afternoon with my dream traveling buddy Link and had a couple dreams.  The first one was short, one of those flash dreams I have a lot and very creepy!  There was a phrase, “Righteous in the elevator” associated with two very strange men.  These men were in an elevator that had a cross burned into the wall and one of them pointed to it and said something like, “taken care of.”  Then I dreamt about a black man working at a gas station.  I was talking to him and telling him I was worried about him trying to take care of inside and outside customers at the same time.  Then some man pulled out a guitar and we were worried it was a gun instead.

Words in Numbers:

18 9 7 8 20 5 15 21 19

R I G H T E O U S = 122/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

(interesting to note RIGHT = 62/8/4/2/1)

14 5 21 20 18 1 12 9 20 25

N E U T R A L I T Y = 145/10/1

(interesting to note NEUTRAL is 91/10/1)

5 24 16 5 3 20 1 20 9 15 14

E X P E C T A T I O N = 132/6 divided by 2 = 3 divided by 2 = 1.5 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle

(interesting to note EXPECT = 73/10/1)

18 5 19 5 14 20 13 5 14 20

R E S E N T M E N T = 133/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 – 8/4/2/1

(interesting to note just RESENT = 81/9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle)

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30 Nov 2017 The Star

Hello to you. How are you doing in this moment? Hopefully well. Today has been good here. Beautiful weather and surprises. My friend Rhonda called me this afternoon with news she had bought two tickets to see Lindsey Stirling and wanted me to go with her. At first I was flustered and joked with her, “Damn you for popping me out of my comfort zone! Kyle and I always talk each other out of doing stuff like this!” She says, “It’s my job!” Rhonda is the kind of friend that is about pushing you out of your comfy zone and I love her for it. She’s the one who convinced Kyle and I we should just say fuck it and buy the tickets for the Final Fantasy Distant Worlds Concert last year. So glad we did!

So she plans to dress up in her best Steampunk attire and I will put something together so I’m presentable lol.

12-nov-2016-rhonda-martin-and-jackie-wygant-at-steampunk-november-venus-tx

We had seen Lindsey on America’s Got Talent and kind of forgot about her. Then Kyle’s brother Drew reintroduced us to her, loudly in his car with this song Crystallize. So if you have never heard of Lindsey Stirling, check this out!

Crystallize – Lindsey Stirling (Dubstep Violin Original Song)

Elements (Orchestral Version) – Lindsey Stirling – Dracula

What’s fun about all this is earlier in the day, when I did my outside stuff, the special card was “The Star.”

30 Nov 2017 1006 am Jackie Wygant outdoor meditation The Star card later Rhonda Martin invite me to see Lindsey Sterling Alvarado TX

30 Nov 2017 243pm Picture of my hand-drawn Star Tarot card.

Upright Star Tarot Card Meanings. The Star Tarot card brings renewed hope and faith and a sense that you are truly blessed by the Universe at this time. Courage, fulfilment, and inspiration are in your life. … The Star card is therefore an important card for personal transformation.

Star Tarot Card Meanings | Biddy Tarot

https://www.biddytarot.com/tarot-card-meanings/major-arcana/star/

This evening we tried to watch the Season 5 premiere of Vikings online via the History Channel. About 28 minutes in, our internet started to run even crappier than normal to include the loss of sound!  This meant restarting the entire episode because I don’t have a profile with the History Channel and that meant wading through a whole bunch more commercials and I just didn’t have the patience for it.  I was disappointed as I had been waiting to see Jonathan Rhys Meyers as Bishop Heahmund and from what I saw of this episode, he did a fantastic job!  So we will back-burner watching the show until I can get a more enjoyable, stable way to watch it!

7-jan-2017-jonathan-rhys-meyers-as-heahmund-saxon-saxon-bishop-the-history-channel-show-vikings

http://www.history.com/shows/vikings

Our internet provider, AT&T, has been running horrible ever since we had the new neighborhood built and people have moved in. We’ve noticed a change in our online gaming (FFXIV), You Tube videos and a bunch of other things we normally were able to watch with few problems are starting to run like crap. Lots of lag and excess time for loading. Guess this is the new age of the internet for people like us who live in small towns with fewer internet provider choices.  We have been able to, until recently, keep up with things without cable or other “micro-transaction” media services. Entertainment is so overly fragmented now….all these same companies all vying for the same “pie” and our most precious commodity – not money, but time.   I’m not going to pay for cable and I’m not paying for individual channels just so I can watch particular shows. This may ultimately mean that Kyle and I miss a lot of things….it is what it is.

When, not if, Net Neutrality is repealed (which will ultimately be regretted by all involved) we fully expect to be even more fucked out of things. Hopefully I’ll still have enough bandwidth to pay my bills online!

In my opinion, the internet should be categorized and regulated like any other utility. To me the internet is like paying for electricity, access to city water, sewage and garbage services. In our day and age, going without the internet is not really an option.