18 Feb 2018 Who are we now?

Hello to you.  It’s 11:45 am on this cool, gray Sunday.  I just wanted to share a positive word.  I feel like I am discovering a way to be useful in this world, and it’s not an easy process but a process just the same – seeking and finding the positive things in people, places and things.   I used to be really good at this – when I was a child of course.  Well thankfully, inside, I still feel my inner child very much alive!  The part of me that our Sam taught me to hold on to – there are no strangers in this world, just family you haven’t met yet.  Not just friends, FAMILY.  Why do I say that?  With my understanding of God as energy.   If everything is energy and everything is God then that makes us all – every single form of life know and unknown – family!

Anyhew.   In my meditation this morning, the message that came forth was about how the past can hang and or trip us up to getting to where we want to go.  I have shared this before here but I will share it again:  “It’s not who we were in the past, it’s who we are now.”  The God of my understanding doesn’t care about the past because Time is our device.  The God of my understanding doesn’t care about what mistakes we’ve made in the past only if we don’t learn from them and intentionally keep repeating them.  If we don’t even try to make amends to those we’ve wronged to include ourselves.

As I sat outside doing this drawing and meditation a thought occurred to me for places we could start making amends – prisons of all kinds, nursing homes, mental health facilities, rehabilitation centers and our churches.  All the places for humans, animals and plants that could be considered cages.  Unconditional love and forgiveness has not been taught or learned by many.  What if we were to work together starting in a place we all share….the heart?  Just a thought…an idea with a positive intention and or motive.


DSC_0549 18 Feb 2018 Jackie Wygant morning meditation Alvarado TX


9 Feb 2018 Love and Abandonment (Morning meditation)

9 Feb 2018 /1019 am

I was outside preparing to do some “chalking” when a revelation about connection between “wisdom,” Why of Life and Death and Tree of Life came. It was instigated by my finding seeds that blew down from cotton tree to my hoodie. My good friend the cotton tree helping me again. What came brought forth a lot of tears. If I (we as a species) had remained ignorant, didn’t need to find out why (curiosity) I (we) wouldn’t know or care about living and dying. Sentience and consciousness, “awareness” would never have happened and may be we would have been happier — “Ignorance is Bliss” philosophy.

17 May 2017 – Cottonwood seed ships

Love changed everything because with love comes “attachment.” Something I learned more about through Buddhism’s the 4 Noble Truths and the 8 Fold Path. When you lose something or someone you love more than “existence” you will tear heaven and earth apart to find it, reclaim it. What I was willing to do at Mesa Springs when I didn’t know where Kyle was. What happened to me for 3 years after we lost our Sammy.

Source Internet: Seed of Life. I loved that this is made in stained glass with chakra colors.

Abandonment creates some of the largest energy vortexes, human black holes. It can be “perceived” or intentional abandonment but the abandoned feel it all the same. Why?!Where did you go?! When are you coming back?! Will you come back?!

(My mother, my Grandparents….all those I’ve loved and lost for whatever reason. I had to grieve and heal — fill the holes their “abandonment of me” left behind.

All of us have lost people, places and things through our shared journey. Are we so attached to these that we are willing to destroy ourselves and a planet to retrieve them? This is just what I see for myself. I hope there is something in this morning meditation that resonates with you….is helpful. I would ask you, what positive, loving aspect of existence can you put in the “holes” some sort of abandonment has made in your mind, body and most importantly your soul?

What do I do? All through my blogs here is what I’ve learned to do for myself with unseen guidance and loving nudges from the tangible elements that surround me. The arts, meaningful work, chores, spirituality, helping others and educating myself about people, places and things I don’t understand before making judgements about them. It is in the latter I have come to realize I can judge no one nor is there anyone on this earth who can either. We are all imperfect and it is in that imperfection we are amazing creations capable of greatness beyond our wildest dreams. We are here for each other. No one person can fix this shared mess our world has become. We must learn to build bridges instead of more walls.

17-feb-2011-my-puppy-sammy-and-his-tennis-ball (Sammy crossed the rainbow bridge 27 April 2011)

My Mom Jeanne and my Grandpa Harold (Hal) Becker on her wedding day, 21 Nov 1965.

8 Feb 2018 Dr. Wilhelm Reich books The Cancer biopathy and Function of the Orgasm Alvarado TX

8 Feb 2018 Jackie Wygant Blue Book for Alcoholics Anonymous Alvarado TX meditation about addiction like sugar etc

8 Feb 2018 Two books from Grandma Becker and Aunt Ruth to help me heal inside when I was younger I read from How to Be your own best friend out loud Alvarado TX

6 Feb 2018 Messy – final phase of painting #3

Hello to you.  How are you where and when you are?  It’s cold and gray here today….an inside day.  I decided to finish the painting I’ve been working on.  To some, it may look unappealing, “Messy” and “Unpolished”, like the title I gave it….my name…Jackie.  “Beauty” is definitely in the eye of the beholder!  I will be seeing my friend soon who gave me the financial support to be able to afford paints and canvas to do these.  She will be given an opportunity to choose a painting – my gratitude to her for helping me with this endeavor.  I am not sure if after the paints are gone if I will buy more.  There is a guilt I feel about this – not an eco-friendly hobby painting.  If I were to continue, Kyle and I talked about this, I would need a village lol.  Someone(s) to make canvas from scratch and Someone(s) to make paint like they used to.  There is so much that is involved for the things we use each day without even thinking about the origin of them…”where things come from” and “how they are made.”  What is the ultimate “cost” of our works, hobbies and crafts to the environment?   Are our shared activities “sustainable?”   I guess I needed a reminder.  It’s all very complicated and “Messy.” 

6 Feb 2018 – final phase of the painting and it’s messy and unpolished just like me…the title of this painting is “Jackie.”

5 Feb 2018 Drawings and Energy Vampirism

5 Feb 2018 – it’s been a very cold and gray day but I did get out and do this drawing today. “Peace with a heart”

5 Feb 2018 – Drawing I did this afternoon. Started with the figure and just evolved. This is kind of a representation of what it’s like for Empaths, Highly Sensitive People, Caretakers…”shiny people” in a world of people starving for light inside of themselves.  People who do not know how to generate their own light are attracted to those who can….it can be very draining….Energy vampirism. 


this information resonated with me from my own experience and behaviors I’ve struggled with myself.  I feel like since everything is energy, to include my concept of God, we are all vampires in a way.   If you think about it, when we eat a meal, we are basically consuming energy.  I have had the experience on more than one occasion of nearly being drained to exhaustion, sweating – nearly passing out.  I have been on the other side of it also before I learned about what exactly was going on with regards to the exchange of energy between people, places and things.  I had to learn mindfulness about energy – the rate of exchange in the interactions I have and knowing when the exchange is imbalanced and doing what I need to do to protect myself from harm.   I am still learning.  When you are a person who cares about others, too much, you can make yourself very vulnerable to this experience of energy vampirism.  I don’t know why, but thought it might be interesting to share.  I hope this information is helpful/informative to those who may not have been aware.

Energy Vampires

by Dr. Bruce Goldberg


Some people, by their very presence, seem to drain the energy of those unprotected people around them. They will often associate with a victim who exhibits the classic signs of this drain.

General debility, lack of motivation and energy, an emaciated physique, a pallid complexion, and an overall sense of weakness are typically noted. These victims also tended to be highly suggestible people. The dominant partner (energy vampire) always resists a successful treatment, or protection, applied to their victim.

Most of these energy vampires are well-meaning, normal people. They are an unhappy lot, and do their damage by a telepathic draining of their victim’s energy resources. Mere separation of two people results in immediate positive changes in the victim. In my Los Angeles office I train all such victims in the art of spiritual protection techniques to eliminate any recurrences of this syndrome. Try the psychic protection negativity experience on the hypnotic exercise link for your own protection.

I prefer to use the term “psychic parasitism” for cases where this energy drain is involuntary and subconscious. If this effect is the result of a premeditated psychic attack, I refer to the perpetrator as an energy vampire.

You will observe this process at work in any public gathering,. The more people present, the easier it will be to observe. This could be a family gathering, a lecture, or an encounter at your local movie theater. When I conduct seminars and workshops, it is more than obvious. I discuss this concept and immediately see certain heads bobbing up and down. Even more interesting is the response of their partner. These individuals give more me some of the nastiest looks I have ever seen. Fear not, I am fully protected and am not susceptible to their parasitism/vampirism.

Psychic Defense Strategies Against Energy Vampires

The psychological dynamics represented by people who inadvertently portray a psychic attacker (energy vampire) fall into five major categories. This personality type is an accumulation of that individual’s experiences in their current life, as well as in prior lifetimes.

Fear is the common denominator in these individuals, and you must learn to protect yourself from their negative influences. The five personality types are called ethereal, insecure, paranoid, passive-aggressive, and robotic.

The Paranoid Type

Betrayal is the main issue with a paranoid type. Their karmic theme in past lives has possibly been that of warrior-like behavior, self-sacrifice, and victory in their battles. As a results of their experiences, they learned that there were enemies in the world who betrayed and possibly killed them in several incarnations.

Paranoid types are soldiers still trying to win a war that no longer exists against an enemy that has long since perished. They do not trust anyone.  Everyone is their enemy and life is their battleground. Fear is everywhere and an ingrained part of their personality makeup.

Their energy fields tend to be more highly charged on the upper half of their body. They are especially fearful and distrustful of members of the opposite sex. Aggression is the most common response to the world from a paranoid type. This aggression takes the form of physical behavior and energy projections to anyone in their path.

Paranoid types constantly pick fights. They are seductive, but are incapable of long-term relationships. This person expects all others to betray them, and will assist in setting up others for this betrayal. A paranoid may initiate a betrayal as a preemptory strike.

To lose for a paranoid is to admit that they are bad. This is intolerable, so these people must win at any cost. They are hard workers, obsessive-compulsive, and are usually quite healthy physically. There is never enough time for them to accomplish their various goals.

Paranoid types insist you agree with their often-distorted view of the world. In reality, they want you to argue with them. This way they can win the argument and prove to themselves that they are good and you are bad.

Never argue with this person. Refrain from making eye contact with them. Lower and soften your voice when you speak to them, and change the topic to something pleasant.

The Ethereal Type* (this can be me sometimes)

Existential terror is the predominant issue of an ethereal type. Most often these troubled souls have been tortured to death in previous lives for their metaphysical beliefs or practices. Their only escape was to leave the body, so out-of-body experiences are the norm with them today.

These individuals do not want much contact with others. They were afraid to incarnate in their present body, and show this fear by being unwilling to commit their consciousness completely into their physical body.

Leaving their physical body often throughout the day is the most common method that ethereal types use to deal with problems. They have weak boundaries and spend as much time as possible on the spiritual realms. Since all time is simultaneous on other planes, these people find it difficult to relate to linear time.

The result of these inclinations is both withdrawal and aggression. They become aggressive and angry when forced to function on the earth plane. Their psychic attack on you is rarely premeditated, but nonetheless you must protect yourself from these individuals.

The Insecure Type

The main issue with insecure types is nurturance. These souls have been through many incarnations during which there simply was not enough food or love to go around. They usually were abandoned at some time in their present life, and fear it will happen again.

The insecure type feels that everyone around them is draining their energy; their response is to suck the energy from others to compensate. They may engage you in long, boring conversations and speak very softly. Their voice is so soft and low that you have to strain to hear them. These are compulsive people who are classically overweight and susceptible to addictions of all kinds.

These souls continually create life experience proving that they are not worthy of attention, and their energy needs and nurturing requirements will never be satisfied. To solve this deficiency, they must persist in draining the energy from others, creating a vicious cycle.

An insecure type always comes across as helpless. They insist you do things for them, and expect you to take care of their every need. Give-and-take circumstances are unknown to them. All they can do is take.

Never stand directly in front of this person. Do not make eye contact with him or her, if possible. Encourage them with words, but do not offer to do things for them. Remember these individuals live in constant fear of rejection and abandonment. Do not let your pity for them be a basis for you being their next victim.

The Passive-Aggressive Type

Invasion and being controlled is the chief concern of the passive-aggressive type. During several past incarnations, they experienced being controlled and trapped in situations, and prevented from being able to express themselves in ways they wanted to. They may have been slaves, prisoners, or been victimized by religion or governments.

These souls absolutely desire freedom, but their fear prevents them from claiming it. They are angry and resentful for not feeling free, and lack a solution to this problem. Their response to the world is withdrawal, but with a subconscious wish to obtain permission from other people to come back into the world.

Passive-aggressive types lack autonomy. They constantly strive to involve other people in their lives. This individual makes demands and resists input at the same time. They live in the now, and never plan or think about the future. Self-expression is unknown to them. It is common to observe others interfering with their development, completing their sentences, and taking them for granted.

This type of individual creates an internal world of unclear, undifferentiated fantasies and ideas, with fear at the core of this world. They imprison themselves and project loneliness, desperation, and resentment toward everyone they contact. It is impossible for them to express anger.

Whey you engage this type in a conversation, they will request your advice. Unfortunately, all of your suggestions are wrong and you are of no help to them. These people ask but reject whatever is offered to them. Their classic response to your advice is, “yes,but..”

The Robot Type

The main issue of robotic types is authenticity. They are denying their true self. During previous lifetimes, they had to keep up the appearance of being perfect in order to survive. They were most likely in charge of running things, as they probably are now.

Their outer world is perfect, the inner world is denied, and there is no core essence. They constantly fear that something is missing and life is progressing without them.

To deal with this reality, robot types try to become even more perfect. They have high-paying jobs, a good reputation, a perfect spouse and family, and look in perfect health.

The more inauthentic they act, the more meaningless the world appears. Others envy their lifestyle. People come to them with their problems. The robot types never attain satisfaction from life, and come across as a blank. They function as if on automatic pilot and are often removed from your conversation.

Robot types never complain about the world. They are perfect and everything is beautiful. Appropriateness and being “politically correct” are more important that being real.

These five types of psychic parasites need to be recognized and treated accordingly, or a psychic attack upon you is inevitable.

I highly recommend my Spiritual Growth experience CD album and my book Protected By the Light to fully benefit from this topic.




5 Feb 2018 We Are Humans First

4 Feb 2018 – notes on a chalk meditation I did about the water situation in Cape Town South Africa. I feel this is yet another “warning” for this entire world. Water is essential to all life. I read yesterday a town in Michigan is fighting with Nestle. Are they mad about not getting very much money from Nestle ($200  a year which makes me think of how oil and gas does business with small towns and royalties for mineral rights), the environmental impact or loss of water? What’s more important? Water is the most “precious” element on this planet, should it be made a commodity when no one can live without it?  What is fair?  Paying for the services it takes to get clean, safe water I think.  https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/tiny-michigan-town-in-water-fight-with-nestle/ar-BBIFykh?OCID=ansmsnnews11

5 Feb 2018 – We are all Human – not a color, not a creed, not a religion, not a sports team or a company logo. In the beginning there was darkness, blackness, shadow and there was light and both of them were part of life.

4 Feb 2018 – Rainbow by our back door – this with the colors of my husbands flannel were symbolic to me. There is always a fragment of Hope even when all seems lost.

4 Feb 2018 – Drawing I did after spending time out back in the late afternoon sun.

4 Feb 2018 – What I have come to understand for myself and I don’t expect anyone else to have the same understanding, is that God is everything, God is all and everything is energy. God doesn’t “feel” or “care” – that’s what we were made for.

Last night we watched the second half of the Eagles and Patriots game and really enjoyed it.  It was a clean game with few penalty flags or injuries to players.  I saw good sportsmanship between members of the opposing teams which is a good thing to show our young people.  We decided to watch it to support the players, the fans (people), and the companies with the courage to start putting their money where their “mouths” are with regards to trying to give back to the world they (all of us) rely on to exist.  Leading by example.  It’s not about pride, flags, race, religion and all the plethora of labels we’ve come up with to segregate ourselves from one another – it’s about focusing on how diversity is a strength and how we are humans first.

“We are all humans – each walk of life on this planet has done bad things to ourselves and others. I would like to see us begin to focus on our shared strengths and how our diversity is part of that strength. We are biologically incapable of perceiving the world the same for a reason. If we can focus on how we are a human beings first perhaps more will develop empathy towards their fellows.”

I think we have a world filled with people who have never know unconditional love in all the many forms in which it exists.  They go to church on Sunday and hear stories about a God of conditions for giving them love and all the conditions for being “worthy” of it.  They go to work and schools where it’s always about conditions….being good enough or risking losing everything.  They go home and their families place conditions on them for their love and devotion too.  If no one ever shows you this kind of love, if all your life is nothing but conditions, how could you know what it is.  I was and remain blessed to have those who show me what unconditional love is.    This one, Sammy, our cocker spaniel, was the my first true example – no judgement of me when I got made at him, no cares about how I looked, smelled, what I was wearing, what music I listened to, what car we had to drive or where we lived – NO CONDITIONS!  He just wanted to love and be loved.  The only conditions that existed, and he didn’t put them there, we did, was spending time together, cuddling, playing together, walks, food and water.

Me with our cocker spaniel Sammy on 25 Dec 2009. He passed away 27 April 2011.

I hope something here resonates with you and in the place I’d most like to see people use when they are making decisions – your heart. 




http://www.johnsoncountytx.org/election-day-locations – I looked at the ballot this morning for the Democratic Primaries.  I’m glad I did and would recommend my fellow Texans do the same.  I’m not sure how I feel about the word “right” anymore.  When I see it and process the word, it sounds like entitlement and that word has some negative connections to it for me.  I think we have basic things that are rights – like food, water, clothing and shelter,  and everything else I’m not so sure is a right.  I am not so sure people just want everything given to them without putting forth any effort to obtain it.  I do think there should be fair systems in place so everyone has an equal opportunity to obtain what they want beyond the basics they need for survival.  Anyhew, there are many important issues on the ballot!  Definitely need to get informed and get out and vote!

DSC_0425 4 Feb 2018 Jackie Wygant morning meditation Alvarado TX 25


1 Feb 2018 Life and Art

Hello there.  It’s 7:50 am on this Thursday morning as I write to you.  I hope you are well.  I had a frustrating time last night trying to get good pictures of the rare moon lol.  This drawing about sums it up:

31 Jan 2018 – drawing I did yesterday afternoon. Well later in the evening, when I was fighting with my Nikon to get pictures of the lovely moon, the figure in this drawing makes me think of how frustrated I was lol. People kept driving by each time I was trying to concentrate and it wasn’t their fault, just frustrating living behind a busy road!

Anyhew, we then tried to watch Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Men Tell No Tales and that didn’t help my mood either.  Kyle will probably be finishing it by himself.  He’s more of a fan of the Pirates theme then I am.  I showed Kyle the drawing I had done earlier.  Many of the themes in it were like what we were watching in the movie that ironically had the Blood Moon as part of the story, “the compass in the eye”:

31 Jan 2018 – My drawing yesterday, Convergence, which seems to have a lot of elements from the Pirates of the Caribbean movie Dead Men Tell No Tales Kyle, at random, decided we were going to watch last night. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pirates_of_the_Caribbean:_Dead_Men_Tell_No_Tales

The dream I had before waking was interesting.  There was something about a pretty girl in a library who could sing.  I wanted to get to know her and get closer, but another guy was in the way blocking me.  He even put his feet in my face saying in an irritated voice, “Do you mind?!”   Then there was the part with other kids in the library and my telling them everything is energy, everything is alive, “Just look at the core of the earth!  All living things have souls!”

This dream calls to mind the stories from the show Glee.  There were many relationship rivalries to include what was going on with Corey Monteith and Mark Salling and their characters in the show.  How difficult it must be for actors and actresses to just turn on and turn off  their emotions.   What if something real evolves but it is not reciprocated or too many would be harmed to go any further?  This problem resonates with me and my own experience playing FFXI.  I was married when I met Kyle online and initially we were just role playing and then it evolved.  A lot of damage was done to make our relationship happen.  We both have paid for our choice but do I regret it?  No.  That’s my honest answer.  The only thing I regret, is hurting my ex-husband.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life and have had to pay for them in one way or another – my conscience, my heart and the God of my understanding won’t allow for anything else.  When you do something wrong, you have to own it and do the best you can to make amends to those you have harmed in doing that wrong.  You don’t pile new wrongs on top and bury things.  Burying your poor choices just makes it worse.

31 Jan 2018 – Only picture that turned out from last night and ironically the background is bluer than the actual moon lol.

26 Jan 2018 Aurora’s Flight (Drawing and Poem) and Earthquakes

26 Jan 2018 – The title I gave to this one is Aurora’s Flight. Inspiration for the poem. It’s overcast today so sorry it doesn’t translate very well.

Aurora’s Flight by Jackie

I have no flesh only lighted coil

I flow with the winds

My essence barely graces the soil

I chase bands of colored light twisting round crystal towers

There is no time here

No seconds, minutes or hours

The sun to power my range of motion

As I cascade beyond perception

Over the ocean……..


26 Jan 2018 – I’m calling this Planetary Distress and imagining someone(s) from another dimension  answering the call.  Science fiction I know, but that’s what imagination is for!  There are no “rules” or obstructions there.  This comes from my concern about all the recent earthquakes and volcanic activity going on around the world.

https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/map/ – shows US but these are occurring all over the world with  more frequency and intensity.

https://www.nasa.gov/feature/super-blue-blood-moon-coming-jan-31 –  hopefully the sky will be clear for this  rare event

Jan. 18, 2018
‘Super Blue Blood Moon’ Coming Jan. 31

Hope you all have a lovely day – loved and loving. 

Sometimes our worst enemy is the person reflected in the mirror. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done is to look at myself and tell that person I unconditionally loved them!

20 Jan 2018 Kan-pai (Dream)

Hello to you. It’s 8:24 am on this warmer Saturday morning. Not much to tell you besides we are back to a two dog house again. Kyle’s parents returned safely and came bearing a gift of white sage and a little angel candle holder made out of repurposed metal – love it! We both got some much needed sleep last night.

19 Jan 2018- Kyles Mom and Dad brought this back from Arizona for us. It’s an angel repurposed out of scrap metal. I put some tea lights in and my kaleidoscope glass in side.

There were lots of dreams like there usually is but only one that I remember. It was pretty long and involved. It was about someones wedding. In the dream I was an ex-wife I guess but invited to this mans wedding. I walked into their bedroom where I saw tickets to a *place called Kanpei on the bed. In the context of the dream it was an ancient place he was going to take his new wife. Apparently there was something negative about this and I wanted to warn the man’s new bride about it. The man found out I was going to tell his new bride and then I wasn’t the ex-wife anymore. I saw there was a blonde woman tied up on the bed and the man’s new wife saw this and was going to ask what was going on and then I woke up.

Well I was curious about where Kanpai was and turns out it wasn’t so much a place as a greeting from an ancient place. With the spelling, it was Japan in particular. So in this wierd dream scenario I got to learn a word from another country and that’s pretty cool!

Some of the waking keys that unlocked this dream I think were worrying a bit about my brother-in-law after a recent phone call, reading about a man having a 5ft long tapeworm crawl out of himself after eating Sushi and watching a video with Kyle about the upcoming patch (4.2) for FFXIV which involved clips from the most recent Live-Letter with Yoshi P who is the executive producer for the game and he is Japanese. I also did a chalk drawing yesterday that made me think of an Asian woman in the water.

Tidbits I found on the internet, I didn’t go way in depth about it. I just wanted to find out if there was a place or even a word that matched what was in the dream:

*As Jori mentioned, kanpai is equivalent to “cheers” said at a toast, often in celebratory settings (kenpai is said instead, at funerals), but also very commonly at the start of a meal with drinks and/or guests. The kanji composition ???? (kanpai) can literally be translated as “dry” – “glass.”

12 Answers – What does ‘kanpai’ mean in Japanese? – Quora



The word ???? (geonbae) literally means ’empty glass’, so is similar to the expression ‘bottom’s up’.

Japanese and Chinese speakers will notice the similarities between this word and the word for ‘cheers’ in those languages (‘ganbei’ in Chinese and ‘kanpai’ in Japanese). This is because the word is based on Chinese characters. Remembering the meaning of these characters can help you learn words quickly when your Korean reaches an intermediate level.

To use this word, raise your glass in the air, say ???? (geonbae), and clink your glass with your friend’s glass.

The word implies that you should then drink the whole of your drink, but this is not actually necessary.

The word ???? (geonbae) is usually said by itself, rather than as part of a phrase or sentence.

If somebody says ???? (geonbae) to you, then the correct response is simply to say ???? (geonbae) back to them.


19 Jan 2018 Jackie Wygant outdoor chalk drawing water spirit Alvarado TX

Forgot I wrote this one….so true and almost cruel isn’t it?

“The science of being a human being.  We are both observer and the experiment caught in the undetermined test case called Life.”

28 May 2016 – my pink spirit book message for today

It’s about the choices me make in life too.  When we make choices, there are consequences…cause and effects.  If you want to lose weight, you probably shouldn’t keep overeating.  If you don’t want to kill yourself while driving, you probably should stop doing things that distract you while your driving.

On 16 January I had a dream involving what I will call a sequence of scenarios about life choices.  One was being in a car with a man who I yelled at “Can you at least pull over and do that?!  Are you trying to get us killed?!” because he was writing something down while he was driving.  Then there was me (I want to lose weight) holding one of my favorite types of donuts with cream filling and in the dream it had bacon in it too!  Well then the dream transitioned to a blonde man with sharp pointy teeth and dark eyes (he looked like actor Jeff Daniels).  He was doing a dark comedy skit.  While he was doing it, he stopped and looked at me, like he was really looking at me as if it were real life and I was standing there.  He said, “It’s about choices.  Are you receiving me?”  As he said the last part he was nodding his head at me to make sure I was.  Yep…message received!

Anyhew – hope you have a lovely day. Hugs and love through the wires!

19 Jan 2018 Man in the Lightning (Dream) and What Else Is There (Royksopp Song from The Understanding Karen Dreijer vocals)

Hello to you.  How are you?  I got woke up by one of those flash dreams I have, literal flash…like lightning this time.

18 Jan 2018 – Echo’s of Light chalk drawing I did yesterday. The fingerprint of God through fragments of history.

19 Jan 2018 – Notes and drawing of flash dream I had this morning about seeing a man surrounded by lightning and using it to travel.  Of course I immediately think of Nikola Tesla about this!  I’m sure this was inspired by all the talk I had yesterday with people about how neat it would be to travel via teleportation etc.

I don’t know if it’s even possible to do such a thing but apparently my dream factory thinks so!

Yesterday was pretty special.  A friend has helped me out so that I can do some paintings.  Turns out getting some canvas and paint wasn’t as difficult as I thought it was going to be.  I guess the God of my understanding has decided it’s time for me to stop talking about painting and actually do it!  I have 5 canvas to use and have a couple of images already planned for them.  For example these I’ve shared with you before:

It will be interesting to see how these chalk drawings translate to paint and canvas…the process.  Will it feel the same?  I’m not sure about the permanence of it.  I told my friend that with the chalks if I fuck up all I have to do is grab the water hose and start over.  It doesn’t work that way with paints!  I will try it.  Doing all the chalk drawings using color has been very helpful for someone like me who has always worked with pencil or ink – black, white and gray.  What has happened in the past for me with color in my art is I would have a great image done and then add color and it wouldn’t come out right.  One early negative experience I can remember was in Junior High School art class.  I was doing the a painting of the cover of Prince Charming by Adam and the Ants on a piece of clear plastic.  I almost had it done and made a mistake and got so mad at myself I washed the whole thing off!  Expecting perfection of yourself with things like art can be a deterrent, a mental barrier to truly free expression and creativity.

The other reason I’ve kind of avoided doing “hard-copy” paintings is having to find a place for them if you aren’t making them for someone else.  When you create tangible anything, especially art like paintings, you need places to put it.  We don’t have a lot of space to put paintings and stuff like that.  Also, I get easily overwhelmed by stuff if there gets to be too much of it without a purpose in the house.  That’s another reason I’ve liked doing the chalk drawing.  Once I’m finished with it, I just wash it away and start again.  So these paintings will more than likely go to my friend(s) and family!

Anyhew I’m as my friend Lesley says, “yammering” so I will close with this haunting and beautiful song I recently found for myself a couple of days ago and just can’t get it out of my head.  It is by a group Kyle and I have enjoyed in the past called Royksopp.  The woman who is singing, Karin Dreijer from The Knife sounds a lot like Fever Ray to me – just pierces my soul to listen to her.  Hope you will enjoy it too and that you have a wonderful day.

What Else Is There?

What Else Is There?

“What Else Is There?” is the third single from the Norwegian duo Röyksopp’s second album The Understanding. It features the vocals of Karin Dreijer from the Swedish electronica duo The Knife. The album was released in the UK with the help of Astralwerks.

Röyksopp – What Else Is There?


What Else Is There?


It was me on that road
But you couldn’t see me
Too many lights out, but nowhere near here

It was me on that road
Still you couldn’t see me
And then flashlights and explosions

Roads end getting nearer
We cover distance but not together

I am the storm and I am the wonder
And the flashlights, nightmares
And sudden explosions

I don’t know what more to ask for
I was given just one wish

It’s about you and the sun
A morning run
The story of my maker
What I have and what I ache for

I’ve got a golden ear
I cut and I spear
What else is there?

Roads end getting nearer
We cover distance still not together

If I am the storm, if I am the wonder
Will I have flashlights, nightmares
And sudden explosions

There’s no room where I can go and
You’ve got secrets too

I don’t know what more to ask for
I was given just one wish


© Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group

For non-commercial use only.

Data from: LyricFind

29 March 2017 – Kyle could tell who this was from a distance! I drew this strictly from memory – Nikola Tesla

*19 Jan 2018 6:01 pm realized today that someplace I remembered having seen a man in lightning besides Tesla photos and of course Thor lol was the film The Prestige.  David Bowie was Nikola Tesla in the film.

the prestige…bowie as tesla

2 Jan 2018 Morrigu (drawings) and Deegan

2 Jan 2018 – Because of the placement where I drew this outside, I’ve done a paint edit to isolate the drawing.

2 Jan 2018 – My drawing this afternoon. Morrigu on my mind.

Who was Morrigu?  Depending on who or what you consult, she is many things!  Ever since I first learned about her,  her story resonated with my own story.  I have often been a “catalyst” of transformation for people, places and things. 


The Morrígan (“phantom queen”) or Mórrígan (“great queen”), also known as Morrígu, is a figure from Irish mythology. The name is spelled Morríghan or Mór-Ríoghain in Modern Irish.

The Morrígan is mainly associated with war and fate, especially with foretelling doom and death in battle. In this role she often appears as a crow, the badb.[1] She is also associated with sovereignty, the land and livestock. She is believed to be a manifestation of the earth- and sovereignty-goddess,[2][3] chiefly representing the goddess’s role as guardian of the territory and its people.[4][5]

The Morrígan is often described as a trio of individuals, all sisters, called ‘the three Morrígna’.[2][6][7] Membership of the triad varies; sometimes it is given as Badb, Macha and Nemain[8] while elsewhere it is given as Badb, Macha and Anand (the latter is given as another name for the Morrígan).[9] It is believed that these were all names for the same goddess.[2][10] The three Morrígna are also named as sisters of the three land goddesses Ériu, Banba and Fódla.

She is associated with the banshee of later folklore.

29 July 2017 Kyle Wygant FFXIV avatar Morrigu Deangelic – Paladin

19 Mar 2011 Jackie drawing – The Morrigu is released

Today we renamed my FFXIV character to Deegan.  This is the name that came to me several years ago when I asked for the name of my spirit guide.  After I looked it up, I was very surprised to find out it was an actual name that aligned with my quest for the man with long black hair that has occurred more than once – the first time in November of 2002.

Last name: Deegan. This surname is of Irish origin, and is an Anglicized form of the Old Gaelic “O’Duibhginn”, descendant of Dubhceann, a personal byname from “dubh”, black, dark, and “ceann”, head.