Healer of the Broken Hearted (reblog Rachel Mankowitz post)

Personal stories about what violence like happened in Pittsburgh does to people and communities are not isolated to the point of impact but the radius that spreads from the point of impact. Violence of this magnitude is like the detonation of a bomb or any other form of violence against one, against oneself or the many….it spreads one way or another to us all.  When I read Rachel’s story and message, had to pass it on!  She is a beautiful example of courage and not letting fear determine the course of her life.

My comment to Rachel’s post best expresses how I see this:

“The phrase “staying in the warm space” came to mind reading this. “What do you love the most?” energy is what we were taught to tap into during my Quantum Touch Energy healing training. Pure, unconditional love, which our pet family often teaches us about the best, is what we need to take out into the world to help other see what love looks like. Many people in this world have no idea and so they turn to what they know and sadly that is often hate, bigotry and violence. They were taught this. I’m so sorry you and members of the spiritual world you are part of are having to endure this lesser aspect of human nature. Remember, they are broken. It’s easy to pray and love our family and friends, not so much the broken. I have to remind myself about this each day. Love and hugs to you sweet girl.”

(I’m currently reading A Wind In the Door by Madeline L’Engle and ironically loving your enemies is one of Margaret’s lessons.  When you love someone who seems unlovable, sometimes all that is unlovable ceases to exist to reveal who the person underneath all the hate and darkness truly is…worthy of love.  They always were lovable but their existence, for whatever reasons, made them forget.)

A question I have been asking myself a lot lately, “What brings you joy?”  Do I feel my heart in the center of me radiating warmth and light or has it fallen into my stomach or is it stuck in my throat?  The place of fear or obstruction being the throat most times!  You can consciously move where your heart, your fragment of the sun sits within you with your thoughts, feelings and actions.  You have a personal barometer placed right in the center of you to help you navigate this life.  As my Quantum Touch teacher Carol Lee taught me, “If it ain’t light, it ain’t right!”   

 

healer of the broken hearted in Simple Gematria equals: 229

49/13/4/2/1 or 13 divided by 2 = 6.5 = 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

what brings you joy in Simple Gematria equals: 232 (the lovely part of this is my full maiden name comes to 223!)

52/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

= 461/11/2/1 or 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

*I am learning that 13 has to do with the struggle between our natures whether it is in yourself or the world.   The push and pull, the tipping and rebalancing of the scales.

4 Nov 2018 Jackie first drawing new sketch book Alvarado TX DSC_0239

rachelmankowitz

We had a solidarity service at my synagogue last Sunday, in the aftermath of the shootings at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh. Four synagogues came together in one building, and by the time Mom and I arrived, twenty minutes before the service started, there was no parking left. People had to stand along the sides of the sanctuary after all of the seats had been filled. The clergy of all four synagogues led the service, with readings by the rabbis and songs by the cantors. There was an enormous amount of crying, but I couldn’t cry. The music was beautiful. The presence of clergy from all of the local Christian denominations was meaningful (the local mosque was planning another service for the following day). But the words didn’t reach me. I just wanted to find comfort, and to feel something, but I couldn’t feel anything.

Maybe if I…

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30 Oct 2018 Who am I

Hello to you.  How are you?  I had a lot of dreams last night.  Probably triggered by the movie we watched, As Above So Below (2014) film and other happenings from yesterday.  The first batch of dreams had to do with people in their personal hell dimensions trying to leave them and it being worse for them in their new realities.  They ended up going back.

In between sleeping and waking, around 7:47 am I heard a woman’s voice in and outside of my head ask, “Who am I?”  There was only Link with me in the room at the time.  I was back in Florida in between sleeping and waking from a nap, only Amber cat with me at the time and I heard a voice inside and outside my head say, “It’s Time.”  All sorts of shit hit the fan after that!  The veil is thin again and as a porous person, must make sure I am vigilant!

The past couple of days have been so beautiful so I decided to take the CD player Kyle’s brother gave us a long time ago outside.  I wanted to hear David’s voice.  Well a tiny little jumping spider decided to get on the player and on me lool.  Adorable little being!  I perceived, and this is just me, intelligence to them.  It’s happened before.  I’m the kind of person who talks to anyone who will listen to include insects, trees, flowers….they are all energy beings too.  In light of David’s Ziggy Stardust character and the Spider’s from Mar’s phase he had, thought it was pretty wonderful.  Like a visit.

The following just a tiny train of thought with interesting results to include the last picture, DSC_226, matching the number values.  I am not doing it on purpose.  I don’t do “tricks”.  When a word or thought comes to my mind, I follow where it goes and wonderful things like this happen.  I try to remain open to the possibility of the impossible being possible even if I can’t tangibly see it.  Isn’t that what Faith is supposed to be?!  

who am i in Simple Gematria equals: 69 (people in Simple Gematria equals: 69)

link in Simple Gematria equals: 46

the spiders from mars in Simple Gematria equals: 226

david bowie the rise and fall of ziggy stardust and the spiders from mars in Simple Gematria equals: 690

wonderful things in Simple Gematria equals: 195 (variation of 69)

= 1226 (A 46)/56 = Three

faith in Simple Gematria equals: 44

brain in Simple Gematria equals: 44

as above so below in Simple Gematria equals: 156 (A Three)

= 244 (64)

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2870612/ – information and trailer about the film we watched last night.  Definitely a nod to Dante’s Inferno.

https://www.biblehub.com/niv/matthew/8.htm – this passage of the Bible came to mind

Jesus Calms the Storm

23Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. 24Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. 25The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”

26He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

27The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”

you of little faith why are you so afraid in Simple Gematria equals: 418 (58/13) Matthew 8:23 (13)

28 Oct 2018 Stay in Love

28 Oct 2018 – message that came through for me today and I’m passing it along, “stay in love.”  The way it came to me was with sunshine at the end.  People close to me call me that sometimes.  A loving message to pass on in lieu of recent tragic events in our world. 

stay in love in Simple Gematria equals: 142

7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

powerless in Simple Gematria equals: 132

6/3 divided by 2 = 1.5 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle

powerful in Simple Gematria equals: 116

8/4/2/1

power in Simple Gematria equals: 77

14/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1 or 14/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

the power of love in Simple Gematria equals: 185

14/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1 or 14/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

 

Power is a force exerted. Love is a power only when expressed. The power of love is potentially transformative and when expressed is kinetic; transformation occurs because of love’s movement; through the power of love, the universe is both effected and perfected. Love is infinitely available and infinitely created.

From what is coming to me through my own personal journey, it is unresolved differences that are at the root of my own personal problems.  It is when I have turned to love to face them, instead of resentment, anger, hate, fear and violence,  I have begun to find healing within myself.  I have found some semblance of inner peace.
When I look at our shared history it is riddled with unresolved differences and it is layers of this “unresolvedness” that is passed on generation to generation.
 unresolved differences in Simple Gematria equals: 229 (differences in Simple Gematria equals: 94*)
*49/13/4/2/1 or 13 divided by 2 = 6.5 = 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1
the empire never ended in Simple Gematria equals: 195  (Philip K. Dick)
15/6/3 cycle or 15 divided by 2 = 7.5 = 12/6/3 cycle
(empire in Simple Gematria equals: 66)
transgenerational trauma in Simple Gematria equals: 267
15/6/3 cycle or 15 divided by 2 = 7.5 = 12/6/3 cycle

Transgenerational trauma is trauma that is transferred from the first generation of trauma survivors to the second and further generations of offspring of the survivors via complex post-traumatic stress disorder mechanisms.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgenerational_trauma
forgive yourself in Simple Gematria equals: 203
5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1
forgive others in Simple Gematria equals: 167
14/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1 or 14/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

27 Oct 2018 Broken Pieces (put back together to make someone new)

broken pieces put back together to make someone new in Simple Gematria equals: 487

19/10/1 or 19 divided by 2 = 9.5 = 14 divided by 2 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

the tree of life in Simple Gematria equals: 134

8/4/2/1  (God = 26)

= 621/9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle Difficult = 90/9

I tried to avoid the news but wasn’t able to avoid reading about what happened at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh.  The message from the 25th making a sense I don’t want it to make.  People shouldn’t have to worry about being shot in their place of fellowship and worship no matter what walk of faith.   We’ve now had Christians, Muslims and Jews all having to deal with this kind of violence.  The Second Amendment has made being a person of faith a difficult gamble in this country.  There is a severe imbalance at work here.   We keep putting band-aids on top of a mortal wound.

Every time this happens we decry the act.  Every time this happens we say, “This isn’t who we are” or “Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families” and guess what….it happens again.  Unresolved wrongs, unresolved revenge and hatred, ancient battles that carries forward to a new generation over and over again.  The answer from our top office, “if they had only more guns or an armed guard may be no one would have been killed or died.”  They’ve tried armed guards and guess what, the guards ran and people died.  In my heart I don’t think just adding more guns to the fight is going to win it.  There is only a returning cycle to such things, no one ever truly “wins.”

This act of terrorism, not just merely a hate crime, is yet another example of why I’m reading about friends who are worried about having to leave this country because of what it’s becoming or what it has always been under the surface.

There is not much I can do to change someone’s mind, heart, thoughts or actions with such volatile matters.  I can do the things I do to include sending positive energy and love to all sides of these equations.  We are all, whether we like it or not, precious parts of a one.  We may be very dysfunctional, some even murderous but we are a family.  I will never stop believing it is possible for all of us to coexist without bloodshed in the headlines every day.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/gunman-kills-11-in-pittsburgh-synagogue-massacre-investigated-as-a-hate-crime/ar-BBOY7Lw?OCID=ansmsnnews11use this link to read entire article.

Gunman kills 11 in Pittsburgh synagogue massacre investigated as a hate crime

Deanna Paul, Avi Selk, Amy Wang, Mark Berman

A gunman killed 11 people at a Pittsburgh synagogue during Saturday-morning services in what the Anti-Defamation League called “likely the deadliest attack on the Jewish community in the history of the United States.”

Law enforcement officials said Robert Bowers — a 46-year-old man with a history of making virulently anti-Semitic statements online — was taken into custody after a gun battle with police and is expected to face federal hate crime charges.

“Justice in this case will be swift and it will be severe,” said Scott W. Brady, the U.S. Attorney for the Western District of Pennsylvania. Brady said Bowers could be charged sometime Saturday for what he called a “terrible and unspeakable act of hate.”

Authorities described a rampage at the Tree of Life synagogue, the city’s oldest Jewish congregation, that was stunning in its savagery.

“This is the most horrific crime scene I’ve seen in 22 years with the Federal Bureau of Investigation,” said Robert Allan Jones, Special Agent in Charge of the FBI’s Pittsburgh field office. “Members of the Tree of Life synagogue conducting a peaceful service in their place of worship were brutally murdered by a gunman targeting them simply because of their faith.”

gunman kills eleven in pittsburgh synagogue massacre investigated as a hate crime in Simple Gematria equals: 790

16/8/4/2/1  or 16/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

https://www.gunviolencearchive.org/

Home 2018

Gun violence  and crime incidents are collected/validated from 2,500 sources daily – incidents and their source data are found at the gunviolencearchive.org website.

1: Actual number of deaths and injuries
2: Number of INCIDENTS reported and verified

22,000 Annual Suicides not included on Daily Summary Ledger

Numbers on this table reflect a subset of all information
collected and will not add to 100% of incidents.

http://www.gunviolencearchive.org  http://www.facebook.com/gunviolencearchive

Data Validated: October 27, 2018

 

Interesting things here to look at in these words:

13/4/2/1 or 13 divided by 2 = 6.5 = 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1
494 + 373 = 867
21/3 cycle or 21 divided by 2 = 10.5 = 15 divided by 2 = 7.5 = 12/6/3 cycle
The account that appeared to belong to Bowers was rife with bigoted messaging. His biography on the site read “jews are the children of satan” and his background photo was a radar gun reading “1488,” a popular white supremacist symbol.
1488
21/3 cycle or 21 divided by 2 = 10.5 = 15 divided by 2 = 7.5 = 12/6/3 cycle
Some of what we use to divide us and is often used as justification for much of the above:
religion in Simple Gematria equals: 89
17/8/4/2/1 or 17 divided by 2 = 8.5 = 13 divided by 2 = 6.5 = 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1  (494)
politics in Simple Gematria equals: 103
4/2/1
the media in Simple Gematria equals: 65
11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1
= 257 (77 – same #value as Christ)
14/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1 or 14/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1
(there are many other labels we use to separate ourselves from each other that I didn’t include here.  They are just as volatile in nature as these and it makes me so sad.) 

26 Oct 2018 All Roads Lead to Rome

Hello to you.  How are you?!  I don’t know what the message is about but it’s what came to me when I was out drawing for a bit yesterday.  May it will make sense to someone else.  The sun peeked out as I had hoped!  Felt great.  The sky is clear this morning and it’s nice and cool.

We have been watching the reboot of the Star Trek films.  We watched Star Trek Into Darkness last night – awesome film.  In this reboot I was introduced to some talented actors for the first time.  This film was the first time I noticed Benedict Cumberbatch and took an interest in future work he was doing.  Sadly there are now ghosts walking within these films like Leonard Nimoy and Anton Yelchin  for example.  Both of their deaths were hard for me.  Like some hauntings, they are recordings that to come to life when we watch and rewatch their films.

Tonight we finally get to see the second season of Castlevania on Netflix.  One of the better works of animated film we’ve watched as of late.

I hope that wherever and whenever….however….this finds you that you are as well as you can be.  I know it’s hard some days to be authentic, to be yourself, to find anything that remotely resembles love or kindness in this world but it is there.

I know for myself that I have had to lower my expectations a bit to find any semblance of the life I want for myself.  I have had to accept isolation and  loneliness as my normal.  There are choices I could have made that would…could…. make my life now completely different.  Namely doing the things that I do for a profit.

I have talked about this subject many times before……….it’s just not how our world works so this message doesn’t resonate with fellow artists in whatever genre that are trying to survive in this world and still do what they enjoy.    I have other sources of income from when I worked and Kyle’s income when he is able to work.  Most people don’t have anything other than what they do to sustain them and their families.

A lot of people are doing what they think they should do for careers to make the most money and not what they have been called to do.   They are miserable people that spread a wave of their internal misery everywhere they go.  They have been unwilling or unable to heed the calling to a work that fulfills them and fulfills why they were born in the first place.   From what I’ve seen, there is a lot of systemic obstruction in place that keeps people from reaching their full potential.  It’s possible, but extremely difficult or comes at a great cost to a person as an individual to fight the system to be who they are meant to be.  To “heed the call.”

What I have been called to do in this life doesn’t seem to involve making a lot of money.

I have learned for myself is that most times I have done things for money things have been tainted by the money.  I would say the barter system or someone giving me money for supplies to make something for them has been the closet thing that has worked for me.  There is no tangible profit in this.  The profit is an exchange of energy.  Someone helping me do what I enjoy doing without expectation and their gratitude being an energetic currency that “pays” me in a way money cannot.

I am happiest making something, having someone appreciate it and “speak to them” and then giving it to them because inside I realize I didn’t make it for me, I made it for them and just didn’t know it at the time.  There is no tangible profit in this.

What are you willing to give to the world to get what you want?  Some people give everything…too much….and are left with an empty shell.  It’s important to leave some of you for yourself.  It’s important to find your balance.

 

https://saymber.com/2015/05/14/14-may-2015-man-for-himself-by-erich-fromm-and-message-for-today-related-to-book/

http://www.amazon.com/Man-Himself-Inquiry-Psychology-Ethics/dp/0805014039/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1431612723&sr=1-1&keywords=Man+for+Himself+Erich+Fromm – if you are curious to read this masterpiece for yourself

Some of the language/verbage is I want to say complicated but the truths rise up at you like a brilliant piece of sea glass revealed by the ocean tide.  Here is an excerpt that really illustrates my message today :  Pages 96 and 97

(b) Productive Love and Thinking

Human existence is characterized by the fact that man is alone and separated from the world; not being able to stand the separation, he is impelled to seek for relatedness and oneness.  There are many ways in which he can realize this need, but only one in which he, as a unique entity, remains intact; only one in which his own powers unfold in the very process of being related.  It is the paradox of human existence that man must simultaneously seek closeness and for independence; for oneness with others at the same time for the preservation of his uniqueness and particularity.  As we have shown, the answer to this paradox-and to the moral problem of man- is productiveness (In Chapter 3 Human Nature and Character, Part 2 Personality, he goes into great detail what productiveness means.)

One can be productively related to the world by acting and by comprehending.  Man produces things, and in the process of creation he exercises his powers over matter.  Man comprehends the world, mentally and emotionally, through love and through reason.  His power of reason enables him to penetrate through the surface and to grasp the essence of his object by getting into active relation with it.  His power of love enables him to break through the wall which separates him from another person and to comprehend him.  Although love and reason are only different forms of comprehending the world and although neither is possible without the other, they are expressions of different powers, that of emotion and that of thinking, and hence must be discussed separately.

Who was Erich Fromm?  http://www.erichfromm.net/ – link to his main website if your interest in learning more about him has spiked! 🙂

 

*Dreamt last night about how people can see like bats – pictures and images being in the brain instead of the eyes

25 Oct 2018 Blind Creator (Blade Runner 2049)

Yesterday it rained most of the day and I wasn’t feeling very well.  A good stay inside sort of day.  This morning we’ve had a slight break in things.  I got out back to visit our adorable neighbor Buster (a tiny Yorkie) through our shared fence.  He has peeked at me through the fence as long as we’ve known each other lol.  Now he has a gap wide enough so I can give him some attention and tell him how clever a boy he is.   He reminds me of Kyle’s parents much larger Yorkie and my Aunts little guy Tex.  Such sweet dogs!  His “Dad” is a very good neighbor.

23 Oct 2018 neighbor Yorkie Buster peeking through fence Alvarado TX DSC_0184

After time with Mr. Buster,  I had a thought I’ve had many times when I am listening to music and close my eyes, run my  hands through the air.  The thought was triggered by finally seeing Blade Runner 2049 the other night.  Kyle bought it along with Covenant (Aliens) and Beyond (Star Trek) at the Game XChange in Burleson (http://www.gogamexchange.com/stores/texas/burleson/).   I’ll be honest, we were disappointed with both Covenant and Blade Runner.  The original films are so ingrained into us that anything else just doesn’t have the same impact.  Blade Runner is my favorite science fiction film, one of Ridley Scott’s finest films in my opinion.  Kyle would say the original Alien is the best lol.  They are both really good lets just say!

There is a character, Niander Wallace  (Jared Leto) that as soon as I saw him made me think of Jesus.  He had the look of the Christ that has been painted and put before us through time.  Niander had to use technology as his eyes.  For those of you that have seen the movie, you know this character is a complete polar opposite to the Jesus of the Bible.   Niander was a Christ devoid of feeling or care for his creation.  They were a product.  They were expendable….a means to an end.

What has come to me many times is that what we see with our eyes is often a trick and deception.  Not quite a magic trick but close.  We focus on what we want to see and that is what we see even if their is tangible evidence that what we are seeing isn’t really there.  We just want it to be.   I think we are all guilty of this in one way or another be it politics, religion, sports, movies, music or other platforms where human beings are placed on the pedestal meant for God.

From what I’ve been able to figure out for myself, God doesn’t need eyes or a body to see….that’s what all of creation is for.   How else can God (energy) be everywhere at once?  This is why no one truly gets away with anything in the end.   You don’t have to have eyes (of your own) to “see” when you are God.

blind creator in Simple Gematria equals: 121 (God = 26/8)

(blind = 41  creator = 80)

4/2/1

god in the clouds in Simple Gematria equals: 156

(God = 26 in = 23  the = 33 = clouds = 74)

12/6/3 cycle

disillusionment in Simple Gematria equals: 195

15/6/3 cycle or 15 divided by 2 = 7.5 = 12/6/3 cycle

unrealistic expectations are the seeds of all resentment in Simple Gematria equals: 570

12/6/3 cycle

false gods in Simple Gematria equals: 88

16/8/4/2/1

man pretending to be god in Simple Gematria equals: 208

10/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

omnipotent in Simple Gematria equals: 141

6/3 cycle

you dont have to have eyes to see in Simple Gematria equals: 339 (49)

13/4/2/1 or 13 divided by 2 = 6.5 = 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

 

23 Oct 2018 A Wrinkle In Time DSC_0170

Interesting excerpt from book I’ve been reading:

Page 160 A Wrinkle In Time – “Like and equal are two completely different things”

Like = 37

Equal = 56

like and equal are two completely different things in Simple Gematria equals: 484

16/8/4/2/1

 

23 Oct 2018 Drawings and Destiny

Hello to you.  I hope this finds you well.  Kyle went to Half Price Books yesterday and found me a copy of A Wrinkle in Time and so far so good.  There was a dying ant in it when I opened it, that was weird lol!  With all the rains we’ve been having a lot of ant activity again here at the house and around the area.  Just weird one would be in a book I was about to read.

Anyhew, pages 67 and 68 of the book correlated with some words in the numbers stuff I had done on the 10th of October.   When I realized this, I had one of those moments where I thought, “This is an example of destiny.  I was supposed to see the movie.  I was supposed to  read this book.  I am where I am supposed to be right now.”  It’s a very healing, positive feeling to have a moment like that.

A Wrinkle in Time Madeleine L’Engle

23 Oct 2018 A Wrinkle In Time DSC_0170

“Sing unto the Lord a new song, and his praise from the end of the earth, ye that go down to the sea, and all that is therein; the isles, and the inhabitants thereof.  Let the wilderness and the cities thereof lift their voice; let the inhabitants of the rock sing, let them shout from the top of the mountains.  Let them give glory unto the Lord!”

(sing unto the lord a new song and his praise from the end of the earth ye that go down to the sea and all that is therein the isles and the inhabitants thereof let the wilderness and the cities thereof lift their voice let the inhabitants of the rock sing let them shout from the top of the mountains let them give glory unto the lord in Simple Gematria equals: 3156 (96)*

sing a new song unto the lord in Simple Gematria equals: 299  (this phrase that came to me on the 10th)

destiny in Simple Gematria equals: 96*

Each day is filled with moments that slip through our fingers unexplored and then a moment will come and for the first time in a long time you feel you are home.

(each day is filled with moments that slip through our fingers unexplored and then a moment will come and for the first time in a long time you feel you are home in Simple Gematria equals: 1533 (66)

happy in Simple Gematria equals: 66

 

 

21 Oct 2018 Drawing Meditations in Numbers and Being Real (Smooth McGroove)

(the numbers in the first drawing, this is just stuff that came to me yesterday in thinking about my life and also current events)

27 = Red 104 = Versus 40 = Blue = 171

9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle

Nothing = 87 Ever = 50 Changes = 57 = 194

(The faces, places and specific circumstances may appear different, may give us the illusion of change and the passage of time,  but the underlying stories remain the same all the way back to our beginning.  I feel like that is because much is unresolved and just keeps on rolling forward into each new generation of life.)

14/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

Cycle = 48

12/6/3 cycle

Dad = 414

9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle

Sun = 54

9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle

= 881

17/8/4/2/1 or 17 divided by 2 = 8.5 = 13 divided by 2 = 6.5 = 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

We found Smooth McGroove on our morning journey through You Tube and really enjoyed what we found.  He does these types of videos for video game music as well.  I enjoyed one of his latest videos talking about “being real” on You tube and in whatever you do.  A message I needed today.  Thank you Smooth McGroove!

Everytime – A Failed Kitty Romance 😿 Acapella by Smooth McGroove (Boy Pablo cover)

Published on Feb 10, 2018

After hearing this song, I decided it was actually about my cat Charl and Dahli, my parents’ cat 😺 They’ve never met, so she literally doesn’t know who he is.

It’s been quite a while since I’ve done anything besides video game music, and almost five years to the day that “My Cat Knows What You Do in the Dark” came out. Hope you guys enjoy!

Being real on YouTube

Published on Mar 3, 2018

Over the years I’ve seen people starting YouTube channels for the wrong reasons and, because of that, they have a hard time. This video is me trying to explain why I think being yourself, being real, is the most important foundation to start any creative project.

I hope this video helps anyone who has hit blocks with their own channel or in their creative life. Being on YouTube these past five-plus years has taught me a few things so I thought I’d try and share these lessons as best as I could.

I really appreciate all the people who shared their stories after the previous video. I can’t respond to them all but I’ve read most of them and I’m glad that the video could help in any way!

Being comfortable in your own skin and being your own best friend isn’t easy to do.  From what I’ve seen of even those the most comfortable in who and what they are, the forces of the external world don’t allow them to be that without interruption:

being real in Simple Gematria equals: 73

10/1 or 10/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

be yourself in Simple Gematria equals: 128

11/2/1 or 11 divided by 2= 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

to thine own self be true in Simple Gematria equals: 256

13/4/2/1 or 13 divided by 2 = 6.5 = 11 divided by 2= 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

inner critic in Simple Gematria equals: 122

5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

criticism in Simple Gematria equals: 103

4/2/1

being your own worst enemy in Simple Gematria equals: 325

10/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

finding balance in Simple Gematria equals: 101

2/1

=1108

10/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

20 Oct 2018 A Salmon

https://www.gematrix.org/

turn it out in Simple Gematria equals: 158

14/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

turn it in in Simple Gematria equals: 125

8/4/2/1

turn away in Simple Gematria equals: 123

6/3 divided by 2 = 1.5 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle

fight in Simple Gematria equals: 50

5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

flight in Simple Gematria equals: 62

8/4/2/1

apathy in Simple Gematria equals: 71

8/4/2/1

love in Simple Gematria equals: 54

9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle

hate in Simple Gematria equals: 34

7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

peace in Simple Gematria equals: 30

3 cycle

abandoned in Simple Gematria equals: 60

6/3 cycle

rebellion in Simple Gematria equals: 92

11/2/1 or 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

= 859  (13 and 9 are numbers that come up a lot for me personally)

22/4/2/1 or 22 divided by 2 = 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

 

What the numbers come to in this line of thinking describes me well.  I often feel like one of those salmon swimming upstream in this world.

 

Source Internet: Sometimes I feel like the salmon in this picture.

salmon swimming upstream in Simple Gematria equals: 294

15/6/3 cycle or 15 divided by 2 = 7.5 = 12/6/3 cycle

 

Smoke Signals (12/12) Movie CLIP – To Forgive Our Fathers (1998) HD   – excerpt from one of my favorite movies of all time.  I’ve shared this before but felt it was time again to revisit this wisdom.  I love my Dad so much but I know some day he will have to move on to his next great adventure without me.  I am coming to terms these days with how I will manage to be here without him.  Will I be able to forgive him for leaving me here. 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120321/quotes

Thomas Builds-the-Fire: How do we forgive our fathers? Maybe in a dream. Do we forgive our fathers for leaving us too often, or forever, when we were little? Maybe for scaring us with unexpected rage, or making us nervous because there never seemed to be any rage there at all? Do we forgive our fathers for marrying, or not marrying, our mothers? Or divorcing, or not divorcing, our mothers? And shall we forgive them for their excesses of warmth or coldness? Shall we forgive them for pushing, or leaning? For shutting doors or speaking through walls? For never speaking, or never being silent? Do we forgive our fathers in our age, or in theirs? Or in their deaths, saying it to them or not saying it. If we forgive our fathers, what is left?

Source is internet: This says it all for me about the landscape of this world today.

16 Oct 2018 Silence

Sometimes there are few if any words that come readily to mind when you are in the process of being frozen.  When you feel paralysis of character setting in.  When you feel like no matter what you say or do really matters that much in the scheme of things.   When you watch people get away with things they shouldn’t.  When you watch people say things they don’t mean.  When you have lost faith in yourself and the world around you.   When you realize too many of your thoughts and words have slipped to a darkened corner.  Then is a time for silence.

My only true comfort is knowing  in the end, those who profit from misery will not inherit the earth, they will feed it.   We all do.     

 

silence in Simple Gematria equals: 67

13 divided by 2 = 6.5 = 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

silence is golden in Simple Gematria equals: 152

8/4/2/1

invisible people in Simple Gematria equals: 170

8/4/2/1

god will sort them out in Simple Gematria equals: 256

13 divided by 2 = 6.5 = 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

no one gets away with anything be it this life or the next in Simple Gematria equals: 575

17 divided by 2 = 8.5 = 13 divided by 2 = 6.5 = 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

they will feed the earth in Simple Gematria equals: 219

12/6/3 divided by 2 = 1.6 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle

= 1439

17/8/4/2/1 or 17 divided by 2 = 8.5 = 13 divided by 2 = 6.5 = 11 divided by 2 = 5.5 = 10 divided by 2 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1