10 Feb 2018 Houses and Becoming (17 April 2018 edited version)

Hello again. It’s cold and getting colder by the minute as I write. Today will be an inside day I think! This morning I finished working on the blanket I started working on back in January of last year! It’s a corner to corner pattern that my friend Erin and Red Heart Yarn taught me how to do and it’s pretty much the only one I use now lol.

I did get out for a quick chalk meditation this morning and some interesting stuff came forward. For many, what I am sharing with you may not resonate with your belief systems, culture, morals or value system…may seem strange even. You may not agree with what is here and that is perfectly fine! Everyone has a comfort zone….a “warm blanket” if you will. I am just passing on what came to me with no expectation from you the reader.

A phrase kept popping into my head this morning, “Old God’s in New Houses.” This is a phrase that came from a film called Queen of the Damned and sadly, one of my favorite female musicians was in it, Aaliyah.  After Aaliyah died in a terrible plane crash I was devastated.  It is so sad to me that such a tragedy should happen to such a talented young woman as she was.  Every time I see the movie, I am reminded of what a great loss was suffered by the music world at her passing.

Who are you? Did you know once a long time ago but the world beat and or numbed it out of you? I am hoping to empower you to be who God brought you here to be. To remember who you are and if you can’t and want to, do the work here in this shared dream this planet-sized school we are all in, and find out!

When I think of Aaliyah and from my own personal experiences of what I’ve observed in the world, this seems to be happening.  Have you ever met someone and felt like you met them before? What was it about them?  A look, a gesture, a walk, a way of speaking, something they said, sharing sentences…a smell?  Some of this is just nature of course but I believe there is more to it than that.  Perhaps on some level you have or did. If you think about the entire cycle of life, death and new life why would that not be possible? What if the energy all around us, capable of making an entire planet full of life, not have such a system? Recycling? Repurposing? What is energy? To me? God! What is God? Life, death and new life. How do we get there? It’s a process and it takes time but it is eternal.  I believe the Gods of many understanding and my own have kept their promise to all of us with this beautiful blessing of earth.

The  most valuable lessons I have learned from this life thus far has come from my observance of trees and nature.  The tree of life symbol from various different religions and walks of spirit is what resonates with me the most.  I believe that whatever we feel we have lost in the passing of someone we love is returned to us beyond measure.  This happened with our loss of our precious fur babies Sam, Blondie, Amber and May.  In the void left by their passing, they have returned to us in other ways.  I see their return and presence in nature and all of it’s forms.  The Wiccan, Native American and Buddhist walks of faith  have been milestones for me from my Christian and Catholic foundations in faith.  Each walk of faith, in my opinion, has had a contribution to my overall perspective of spirituality.

When I was stationed at Travis AFB, one of my ex-husbands roommates was a Satanist.  He was a good man and we actually were able to communicate about difficult subjects.  We never completely got a long but there was good in him.  I try to find the positive in all people, the best I can find and sometimes it’s almost impossible.  When I feel I can’t find anything positive about someone, I will pray for them and I say this in the context of not being any particular walk of spirit.  I don’t believe in hero’s and villains, good or evil or any labels put on people that make them either good or bad.  This is why I have chosen a “no labels” path for myself….it is a very lonely path to walk.  I have had a dream for a long time of all of us walking together as one but not to be ruled or made slaves.  My dream is that we would all walk together as family.

Part of the walking together involves something called forgiveness.  I think it was Oprah Winfrey that I learned this from.  We will forgive but that doesn’t mean we forget.  Right now I am feeling like a bunch of stuff I had already worked through is getting brought back up for someone else’s benefit or may be I thought I was finished with it and perhaps wasn’t.  I don’t believe we experience anything for no reason….it’s not a coincidence.  I believe everything is connected to divine timing and just how the God of energy operates.

I hope something here resonates with you today.  I am revisiting some of my blogs here and if you should come across some that are incomplete or missing pictures etc. it’s because I was considering deleting this blog entirely just so I wouldn’t hurt anyone.



4 Aug 2016 Keeping your inner lights on can be challenging these days, Mental Illness and responsible human programming (London stabbing), my “fugly” blanket is an analogy for our world

It’s Thursday, about 6:01 am as I write to you from my dimension today….how are you?  I’m doing pretty well.  I woke up early this morning and decided to just get up…time to rise and shine!  Some days it’s hard to “turn the lights on” isn’t  it?  Especially if you are in careers that involve other people interaction.  I remember when I was what they called in the Air Force, A Personnel Specialist, basically a “desk pilot” how tough it could be when I woke up in a shitty mood and then had to go deal with customers all day.  When I was working in Customer Service issuing ID cards, the hardest cases for me were the widows, widowers and unremarried former spouses.  Trying to stay positive and keep it together being as sensitive person as I’ve always been until they were gone was always hard for me.   I’d just go in the back and “file papers” until I worked through the tears.

If you think your having a hard day….try talking to someone else!

I saw there was a stabbing in London: http://www.cnn.com/videos/world/2016/08/04/london-stabbing-police-statement-sot.cnn and I guess they have a 19 year old suspect in custody.  Now we are seeing the stabbing killings aren’t we?  Is the Universe trying to show us something about mental illness and violence?  If we get to the core of the “why” people act out, you have a lot less “what’s” and I keep saying that….eventually the message will get across.  We have a world-wide problem that has been created by many things, from cradle to grave and that problem is mental illness.  You can blame it on any number of things.  You can blame on our food, environment, upbringing, our school systems, our churches, our workplaces, our economic systems…our DNA but ultimately as many fingers point back at ourselves that point to all these things.   The chain must be cut somewhere and I feel it begins in one place….Mom and Dad.

Human beings are very much like the things they create….computers and other programmable….even AI devices I want to say.  If you bring someone into this world, then you are taking on the responsibility for every facet of that new person’s entire being…..you parents are the “Programmer.”   All the things I’ve mentioned as possible culprits for mental illness are but software engineers…you parents are the hardware manufacturers.   Program responsibly!  Do not blame someone else for your failures, take responsibility for your creation…..ask for help if you do not have the resources whether internal or external to take on such a task.  You are not alone!  Set aside your pride and ask for help!

My prayers to every corner of this globe experiencing the consequences of such bad “programming.”  Mental illness is not a terminal disease in can in fact, in some cases,  be a reversible condition!!!  If not completely reversible…at least manageable.   From The National Alliance on Mental Illness – visit their You Tube channel.

Some pictures….Kyle picked out some yarn, the fleecy Bernat stuff, so I can make us a new blanket.  I took apart the other one I did earlier in the year (it’s too small)  and am going to blend what he chose with that yarn for a bigger blanket.  I’m almost done with the “symbolic” blanket…yeah it’s fugly to look at but it’s mine and if you come to visit, you don’t have to use it if you don’t want to look at it LOL!  *cough MOM!

Sometimes the parts are beautiful but when you put them all together, not so much.  Kind of like our world right now.  Individually we are beautiful pieces of yarn, but with current events,  the  blending of our many skeins of yarn  hasn’t been making for a very attractive “blanket.”  I guess that’s the point I’m trying to make with my blanket.  It may not be pretty to look at as an entire blanket but I made it, it will keep me warm when I am cold and every time I look at it I will be reminded of how important it is to accept other people and their differences.  Without the other “yarns,” my blanket would be incomplete!  I need many different “yarns” to make my blankets.



29 July 2016 Helping others, my symbolic corner-to-corner afghan, a visit from some canine old “friends” in my dreams, Green Party candidate Jill Stein interview makes Fox News head explode, yet another option to voting for Trump or Clinton…Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson

Hello to you.  Hope this finds you having a good day.  It’s Friday around 10:12 am here.  I’m a little later at writing to you today because after we walked the dogs this morning, we went to our local Waffle House for breakfast before going grocery shopping.  We had the delightful surprise of seeing our neighbor Pam already seated at the Waffle House, so we joined her and had a nice visit.  It was great to get caught up with her and Kyle did his usually sneaky and paid for her breakfast when we left LOL.  I’m pretty sure we aren’t going to get away with that but it’s fun to try!  She’s one of those people who doesn’t accept something for nothing.  She should…she’s such a wonderful neighbor and friend and we try to take care of each other.

So anyhew…..

Yesterday was awesome because Katie, Jonathan and Robbie came and picked up our old brown couch and coffee table.  It’s their first apartment and they didn’t have any furniture and I remember what that was like!  When my first husband and I got our first apartment we had nothing too – used card board boxes for our furniture!  When Kyle and I moved in together, we didn’t have much either so we know what it’s like!  It was just such a great feeling to see Katie’s face as she described telling her Mom about the couch….”Mom we are going to have a couch!”  I love the thought of a world where we can do for each other like that.  They helped us by taking the couch as we were going to be replacing it, and we helped them by giving them a couch!  A world where things don’t go to waste is what I want to see….repurposing!

Dreams…..well last night the only dream I remember was a very brief one.  It was being followed by 3 senior German Shepherd dogs and the dream ending up with me standing on a car with them following in the distance.  This dream is significant to me because of another dream I had back in I want to say 2001 when I was still in the Air Force back at Patrick AFB FL in base housing.  It was around the time I was transitioning out because of medical retirement and I was attending many AA meetings and trying to do volunteer work.  I was overextending myself and had just come home from trying to find a fund raising event I wanted to go to.  I had written down the address and directions and just couldn’t find the place!  I had driven back and forth and all over the place trying to find it….it was as if the place had just disappeared from the map!  When I got home I was on my last nerve and took a large butcher knife and held it to my wrists and started yelling at God, “Is this what you want me to do?!!  Is this what you WANT?!”  A voice inside told me to put the knife down, I was tired….go take a nap.  Well I did and fell asleep almost instantly.
Then there was this dream that ties into the one from last night.

I was watching three German Shepherd puppies and they were being nice to me and we were playing at first but all the sudden they started to get very aggressive and I tried to run from them.  Then I saw a scene of those three puppies each holding a part of a white rabbit in their teeth and pulling….they were going to tear the rabbit apart!  I woke up with the realization that this dream was symbolic of what I was doing to myself in my life at that time….I was the white rabbit and the life I was living was “for the dogs!”  The dogs were symbolic of the people, places and things I was allowing to “use me up” and in the dream, symbolically tear me to pieces.

When you are a volunteer and  people know that you are a nice person who “can’t say no” easily….they will tap that shit until it’s dry!  From personal experience and what I’ve heard from others, this happens a lot in volunteering!  “Volunteer Fatigue!”  It’s so important to establish healthy boundaries when you are a volunteer and stick to them.  It’s got to be okay to say no!  When volunteering becomes more of a job than just something you are doing to help out….hmmmmm!

So what does it mean to have this dream of the three very old German Shepherd dogs following me and my actually escaping to the top of a symbolic image of a car?  Freedom perhaps?  The “dogs of war,” albeit my own personal war, are still there but old, tired and I may have found an escape from them?  How to escape from the top of a car….you fly!

I don’t have wings you can see with the naked eye, but I know they are there.  Wings can be made of feathers or they can be made of intangible things like faith, hope, joy and love.  Wings made of intangible things allow you to flow above, below and in between….to be seen but also unseen. 
*side note – when Kyle and I were talking about the triumvirate idea for our government,  I had a thought that these 3 dogs could be symbolic of that too somehow?  Instead of tearing rabbits apart, the three dogs had matured and may still have the desire to chase the rabbit but have decided to just follow it instead?

The first Triumvirate formed in 60 BC between Pompey, Crassus and Caesar...they sealed the deal with Caesars daughter Julia.

The first Triumvirate formed in 60 BC between Pompey, Crassus and Caesar…they sealed the deal with Caesars daughter Julia.

I’m on the last part of a symbolic corner-to-corner afghan I’m making.  It’s not a mix of colors most people would put together but I did because it has meaning to me.  The white is the purity of a thought…a child before they come under the influences of the world we’ve created, the browns, tans and white yarn are symbolic of the labels we’ve given ourselves for our “colors” and how we are all woven together,  The pink, white and tan yarn is symbolic of my discovery of the “hidden pink” in the rainbow…”pink spirit” and finally the blue, white, pink and yellow is symbolic of my dreams for this world…the move to total unity of all living beings…peaceful coexistence of all creation.

One more thing……

Yesterday I mentioned the Triumvirate idea and how I’m considering Green Party Presidential candidate Jill Stein as an alternative in the upcoming election.  Well on BING there was this note for this article, “Don’t forget about this guy” and I was amused lol!  It was like that Progressive Insurance commercial where Flo is trying to sell insurance like a drug dealer…”psst…hey…over here!!”  I’m not a Libertarian but I did mention this party as a viable option to voting for Hillary and Donald.  I didn’t know they had a candidate running also!  I’m excited to see other options are available and making it through the Trump and Clinton campaign (noise) to the surface so people can see a way out of this poop pile of an election we got going here.   Ted Cruz said one thing I agree with this year and that is, “Vote with your conscience!”   You have options…you ALWAYS have a choice.



Libertarian candidates say Mitt Romney is considering endorsing them

<img alt=”Gary Johnson talks possible Mitt Romney endorsement” class=”media__image” src=”http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/160623095808-libertarian-party-johnson-weld-large-169.jpg”>
Gary Johnson talks possible Mitt Romney endorsement

Gary Johnson talks possible Mitt Romney endorsement

 (to see video go to main page)
Gary Johnson talks possible Mitt Romney endorsement 00:47

Washington (CNN)Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson told CNN Thursday that Mitt Romney was considering endorsing him for president this fall.

Johnson, a former governor of New Mexico, told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer that he and Romney had spoken in recent weeks.
“I think he’s considering the possibility of doing this,” Johnson said, “of actually endorsing the two of us.”
Romney has previously said that he would look at the ticket but has not publicly committed to supporting them.
CNN has reached out to Romney for comment.
William Weld, a Romney associate and Johnson’s running mate, agreed with Johnson, especially if they meet the threshold in polling to make the general election debates.
“He’s thinking about it, Wolf, and I don’t want to press the point unless we get to 15%, because then I think the case for it is overwhelming.”
Romney told CNN last month that he was considering Johnson and would make a decision once he got to know him better.
“If Bill Weld were at the top of the ticket, it would be very easy for me to vote for Bill Weld for president,” Romney said. “So I’ll get to know Gary Johnson better and see if he’s someone who I could end up voting for. That’s something which I’ll evaluate over the coming weeks and months.”