10 May 2018 Still processing Avengers Infinity War

9 May 2018 – this mess of images is me still trying to process Avengers Infinity War I think and the latest episode of Wakfu!

Hello to you.  Hope this finds you well.  I’m still processing the latest Avengers film, as this mess of a drawing shows.  Yesterday my husband and I talked more about it and Loki came up.  They keep getting rid of him or cutting him from films and I don’t understand why!  Is it that he’s too much of  a scene stealer?  Too likeable?!  It’s not like Tom Hiddleston can just come back as another random character either.  Sigh.  I really like Tom’s Loki.  We also talked about Chris Hemsworth’s performance which was very impressive.  I felt his story was one of the best developed in the film.  I can’t imagine anybody else being Thor really.

DAMN THE SNAP!

I had kind of an a-ha before bed last night thinking about the film.  I have been figuring out for myself that there really isn’t much of a difference between hero’s and villains.  The only real difference is motive and perspective.  Heck the name Thanos, in the numbers comes up to the same numbers as Jesus Christ, 77!  It’s almost like somewhere in the cosmos the writers for this film decided to give me a middle finger about my thoughts on this.

By turning a bunch of folks to ash we are left with the question, what will happen without one side of the equation?!  What truths will be revealed?  What will the Marvel Universe be with just Tony Stark and a handful of others to protect the planet?  Well there is always the DC folks lol….can you imagine that phone call with Tony’s flip phone (we laughed during the movie about this because Tony’s phone is just like my husband’s flip phone)?

“Hey uh Sup….yeah it’s me Tony….we got a bit of a problem.  Get the Flash on your way over.”   Is it finally time for an epic cross-universe effort between Marvel and DC?  May be DC would finally make bank on a great film?   We’ll see.

 

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9 May 2018 Avengers movie (Spoilers), numbers, drawing and Wakfu (animated series)

Hello, hope this finds you well.   My allergies are saying hello big time these past couple of days.  Tis that time of year for nature to be doing things that make my immune system fuss.

Well to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary, we went to see Avengers Infinity War.  My husband enjoyed it more than I did.  What I’m struggling with is going to the theater, holding my bladder for 2  plus hours and leaving the theater overwhelmed, sad and slightly disappointed.  Twist the eye of Agamotto (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_of_Agamotto) back to our anniversary in 2012!  We went and saw the first Avenger’s movie on that day and it was a totally different story!  We came away from the theater so pumped up and excited!

8 May 2012 – we went to see the first Avengers film for our wedding anniversary date!

What I’m seeing happen to these Marvel movies is what happened to the Harry Potter franchise for me.  The first couple of movies were balanced and “lighter” and then just progressively got really dark and depressing to the point I didn’t even go to the theater to see them!   When I actually take the time to go a movie theater to have that experience, I want it to be a positive experience and it just hasn’t been for several years for me.  We actually heard people crying in the theater when we left it yesterday!

To be fair, there was ALOT going on in this movie.  I will probably have to watch the movie a couple more times to continue to process all of it.  I had to do that with Dr. Strange.  I didn’t like that film either on the first go around.  They managed to squeeze in like 30 plus main characters and added a few extras like Peter Dinklage’s ginormous dwarf to the mix (we loved that!)  There were quips that made me laugh out loud that did help break up some of the tension.  It helped me a lot when the Guardians of the Galaxy folks showed up in the film but even that got really dark.  I mean they killed Gamora! BOO!  (Zoe Saldana: https://movieweb.com/zoe-saldana-hollywood-walk-of-fame-star/)!  I actually got goosebumps when they went to Wakanda which is Black Panther’s world.

The end of the film was surreal for me and I honestly didn’t feel anything about it.   I guess it’s because I know that all the writers have to do is rewind time or come up with some paradox and everyone will be resurrected.  Seeing Thanos in his happy moment at the end,  made me think of Marlon Brando from Apocalypse Now for some reason.  There he was all peaceful while we the viewers know countless lives, to include those of superhero’s we care about, have been reduced to literal dust.

Apocalypse Now: Marlon Brando Horror Speech

I was of course curious what the “numbers” would say about some words pertaining to the film:

1 22 5 14 7 5 18

A V E N G E R= 72 (9 cycle)

6 9 3 20 9 15 14

F I C T I O N = 76 = 13 = 4 = 2 = 1

1 14 20 1 7 15 14 9 19 20

A N T A G O N I S T = 120 = 3 cycle

16 18 15 20 1 7 15 14 9 19 20

P R O T A G O N I S T = 154 = 10 = 1

8 5 18 15

H E R O = 46 = 10 = 1

22 9 12 12 1 9 14

V I L L  A  I N = 79 = 16 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8 = 4 = 2= 1

13 1 18 22 5 12

M A R V E L = 71 = 8 = 4 = 2 = 1

20 8 1 14 15 19

T H A N O S = 77 = 14 = 5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8 = 4=2=1

9 14 6 9 14 9 20 25

I N F I N I T Y  = 106 = 7

23 1 18

W A R = 42 = 6 = 3 cycle (3 divided by 2 = 1.5 = 6 = 3 and back again)

8 May 2018 – drawing I did yesterday that kind of correlates to Wakfu anime we’ve been watching. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wakfu_(TV_series)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wakfu_(TV_series)

WAKFU Series – Trailer

1 May 2018 Michael The General

Hello to you.   Yesterday I was drawing with my compass and this message came forth with it about the angel Michael.  As I thought about him,  he came across as a sort of General.  Can you imagine what it would be like to be God’s literal “wing man?!”

30 April 2018 – I started by using the compass and this is what came forth for me about the angel Michael, a sort of General.

The reason Michael often comes to my mind is my spiritual background.  I grew up Lutheran and then Roman Catholic for many years.   These days I don’t go to traditional church services etc. but there are aspects of my spiritual journey I have held on to.  The concept of angels is definitely one of them!   I have had experiences in my life where I believe angels have definitely been watching out for me!   There is great power in personal belief.

“In late medieval Christianity, Michael, together with Saint George, became the patron saint of chivalry and is now also considered the patron saint of police officers, paramedics, firefighters and the military.[33][84]

My Dad was a policeman when he was a young man and I’d like to think he was being watched over by Michael all those years!  That’s probably why Michael comes to mind a lot when I hear a siren go off nearby.  I am always worried about all those connected to that sound!  In many cases it’s a policeman or woman, a fire fighter or an ambulance driver….first responders to the scene of usually some persons worst day.  When I hear a siren go off, I try to just say a quick prayer that everything will be ok.

Divine beings, or angels like Michael transcend Christianity.  When you take the time to look, it’s interesting to find how many different walks of faith have angels or divine beings within them.  I am sharing some links to other information if your interested to learn more:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deva_(Buddhism)beings from Buddhism that are like angels in other walks of faith.

http://www.paganspath.com/meta/angels.htminteresting article about how angels are not unique to just Christianity

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_(archangel)a lot of information about Michael here.  This angel seems to cross boundaries between different walks of faith.  When I did the “numbers” for this name, it came to a total of 51, which becomes 6, which divided into 2 becomes 3 which then becomes the trinity or a cycle.  The word angel comes to a numeric value of 39, which is 12 which is also 3! 

http://moonatnoon.com/puzzles/reference/a1b2z26.html (something I initially looked at when I decided to start using the numeric value of the alphabet to examine words and their meanings.  I use this system a lot now.  It’s amazing to see a more logical view of words we use in the English language.  This system, for me, helps bridge the gaps I sometimes have between my faith and reality.  Unlike people and words can do sometimes, numbers don’t lie!  I don’t know if this would work for other languages but it would be interesting if it did!)

A cycle is a  repeating pattern.  It makes sense to me that angels and a being like Michael,  created by human beings, would end up in this pattern.  Sometimes our faith is tested or we have doubt.  We will literally “cycle” around on a journey to either come back to believing or discarding our faith all together.     

Have you ever had an encounter with someone who seemed like an angel or divine being?  In the realm of the God of my understanding, energy, pretty much anything goes I think!

Matthew 7:7

Ask, Seek, Knock

7“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

 

29 April 2018 Who should get the “credit” for creation?

Hello to you.  I’m up early this morning and was thinking about something that has come to me before.  Who gets the “credit” for what we create in this world?  Credit can be in the context of just pats on the back or accolades.  Credit can also mean, in our modern world,  financial support.  When I create, I’m not really looking for either, it used to, but not anymore.  The reason this came up in my thoughts?  I was I was going to try to put my initials and date on the drawings I’m sharing today and realized that it really doesn’t matter all that much!  They don’t belong to me really, they belong to a power greater than myself.  They belong to the God of my understanding, energy and energy is everyone and everything….the collective consciousness.

When I do something creative, I feel like I’m tapping into the collective consciousness.  After all, I my opinion, there really isn’t such a thing as an original idea just a reinterpretation of one that has already come before.  Even what I am writing at this moment doesn’t really belong to me in a sense.  Only when my ego needs a stroke do I really care about such things!  Sometimes I can be pretty hard on myself.  When I get like that, my self-esteem plummets pretty low.  I will sometimes look for a source outside of myself to somehow lift myself up.  Ironically, this was the driving force behind me using Facebook to share my drawings and stuff!

Since I seldom turn a profit for what I channel aka “create”, I think that’s about as pure as it gets.  Why should I get hung up on labeling my work?  The only reason that comes to mind, is kind of like from that Big Eyes movie when the husband tried to take credit and actually profit from his wife’s work.  The karmic resolution to that took place in a courtroom.  The judge put the husband and wife to work at blank canvas painting and the husband was unable to recreate his wife’s paintings.

Amy Adams and Margaret Keane tell Big Eyes Movie Story (I wonder if all the folks involved with this film, to include Margaret, receive money for sales of this film?  Not quite sure how that works.)

So should I consider copywriting everything I do?  I guess if I decided that I was going to try and make a living doing what I do but what a struggle that would be!  Whenever I have tried to make money doing something it has often turned into a negative thing.  I have very few positive experiences with making money for what I have made.  The only ways  it has been positive is when I do something for a gift or someone has asked me to make something and they provided the financial support and or materials for me to do it.  I think making things and churning them out for profit would be very pretty empty for me.  Something else I’ve realized, like blogging here for example, as soon as I upload anything into this artificial collective consciousness, the internet, I give away any all the relevance of ownership in my opinion.  Anyone can save my pictures to their hard drive and “make them their own” as I’ve done with other artists work.

Why do I create?  What is my motivation?  My motivation is most often having the feeling I get by being close to God.  It feels good!  It’s like having a conversation without words and it makes me feel complete inside.  Then, out of gratitude, I feel I have to pass it all on to help somebody else like I do here in this blog.   Isn’t this the way God, divinity….whatever your word for the energy that propels you through this life supposed to be?  A power greater than ourselves that unconditionally loves and accepts us even if we make a drawing that looks like a child may have done it? 

Matthew 19:14 14Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

No one, no matter how hard they try can exactly replicate what I do.  Kind of like forgeries and copies….they will always be forgeries and copies but never the original work as it was first channeled through me.  So I’m not very worried about it anymore.   I feel bad for people in this world who do get so hung up on ownership versus staying in the flow of creation.  It must be such a fight everyday to keep what they perceive belongs to them!  I would say this is especially true for anyone who makes a living on their image and creative endeavors in any profession.  I wonder what would happen if they just let go of that?

What has come to me in meditations with the God of my understanding (I use the word God because it’s simpler) many times is nothing belongs to us but perhaps one thing, the essence of who we are inside.  The energy ball, the soul, part of our being that makes us uniquely “us” no matter what outside forces may try to change it.  I imagine that when our bodies are tired and must be returned back to the earth, we just move on and become something or someone else but we are not lost.  The unconditional, loving energy of existence makes sure we are never truly lost.   We just become something a little different but just the same.

These drawings I did yesterday were made for me and for someone else to enjoy and I hope you do:

U2 – Song For Someone (Directed by Matt Mahurin)

See more songs by U2

Lyrics

 Song for Someone

You got a face not spoiled by beauty
I have some scars from where I’ve been
You’ve got eyes that can see right through me
You’re not afraid of anything they’ve seen
I was told that I would feel nothing the first time
I don’t know how these cuts heal
But in you I found a rhyme

If there is a light
You can’t always see
And there is a world
We can’t always be
If there is a dark
Now we shouldn’t doubt
And there is a light
Don’t let it go out

And this is a song
A song for someone
This is a song
A song for someone

You let me into a conversation
A conversation only we could make
You break and enter my imagination
Whatever’s in there
It’s yours to take
I was told I’d feel nothing the first time
You were slow to heal
But this could be the night

If there is a light
You can’t always see
And there is a world
We can’t always be
If there is a dark
Within and without
And there is a light
Don’t let it go out

And this is a song
A song for someone
This is a song
This is a song for someone

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

And I’m a long way
From your hill of Calvary
And I’m a long way
From where I was, where I need to be
If there is a light
You can’t always see
And there is a world
We can’t always be
If there is a kiss
I stole from your mouth
And there is a light
Don’t let it go out

 Songwriters: ADAM CLAYTON, DAVE EVANS, LARRY MULLEN, PAUL DAVID HEWSON
© Universal Music Publishing Group
For non-commercial use only.
Data From: LyricFind

27 April 2018 Quest For Peace

Hello to you this morning. Time for some therapeutic writing! I am, as we used to call our dog Sam, “Grumpicus” again this morning.  Seems to be the way things are going for Kyle and I lately lol!

I don’t about you, but sometimes it just feels like I can’t take “one more thing.” Somehow, by the grace of a power greater than us, we manage! Thank goodness my husband and I don’t have many of the other issues that many American households face each day! Lately it seems life is so complicated and much more stressful than it should have to be!  For example just trying to track down my blood tests for my doctor to make sure I don’t have toxic levels of Lithium in my blood. Everything got sorted out this morning but this is the third time we’ve been through this.  This morning I went to put a new bottle of Windex in the car so we can keep our windows clean.  Well I noticed the back window, which has a tint sheet on it, was bubbling even more than the last time I looked.  It can make it unsafe for backing out when it’s like that.  Anyhew, I said f-it and pulled all the tinting out and boy did that stink!  Just one more thing!  Our 2014 Ford Fiesta has been a challenge ever since we bought it.  We probably won’t buy another vehicle from Ford and can’t really afford to invest in another car at the moment.  We found out this morning they are going to be discontinuing their smaller car lines anyways: https://www.msn.com/en-ca/autos/news/ford-to-discontinue-almost-all-its-cars-in-north-america/ar-AAwp0FY.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we had less bills to keep track of? One bill for the house, medical (to include pets), telephone/internet and car?   I really wish there was a way to simplify my household finances.  There are days I just feel so overwhelmed I don’t want to do anything!  Missing one thing can mean having to pay a penalty.  I haven’t been in the best frame of mind lately and neglected to check my email.  Because I didn’t check it, I missed a couple of credit card bill notices and ended up getting charged a fine for it!

Sometimes I want to just go back to renting versus owning a home and car.   Kind of like what they used to do for military housing or whenever I rented an apartment.  It would make it so much easier for people who are in job professions that require them to be away a lot and move frequently.  In my opinion it would be helpful for the handicapped, disabled and elderly to be able to keep up with their home maintenance responsibilities.  When we first bought this house, there was a warranty with it.  If anything went wrong, we just had to call a number and a company checked out by the warranty company would be sent out to do repairs etc.  Having this sort of system could potentially create jobs and help bring some accountability back into businesses that are typically contracted for home repair etc.  Speaking from personal experience, it feels like you can’t even really count on the Better Business Bureau (BBB) when trying to find reputable companies to do work at our house.  We’ve used the BBB several times since moving here to Texas and we still had problems.  We don’t feel like paying a service fee for a similar company, say Angie’s List,  and probably run into the same problems!

In the car arena, I saw on the news this morning that there is something some companies are doing. They are charging a subscription fee for cars.  You pay a fee and don’t have to actually have to own the car. In this article the vehicles are pretty high end, $1,000 a month and a one time $500 activation is a bit steep but if you consider how much you pay in total to maintain a car and keep it insured, definitely an interesting idea! https://www.bizjournals.com/columbus/news/2018/04/25/dealer-adding-porsche-range-rover-more-luxury-to.html.

There was heart-warming news this morning from Korea.  They are really moving towards making peace between the two countries.  Speaking as a veteran, this is what I want to see more of in this world!  I watched some of Mr. Kim’s speech and got a really good feeling about things.  I want to believe this is a genuine move by both countries.  By their doing this, they are definitely leading by their example.  Some may call me naïve, but I am so proud of North and South Korea right now! I said a prayer for these countries today and hope that this can be an example for the rest of the world – peace is possible!

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/koreas-set-bold-goals-peace-by-year%E2%80%99s-end-and-no-nuclear-arms/ar-AAwpo0G?OCID=ansmsnnews11

North and South Korea Set Bold Goals: A Final Peace and No Nuclear Arms

Watching these two world leaders was just what I needed to see this morning. They are “being the change they want to see”, to paraphrase a quote Mahatma Gandhi said long ago. For the past couple of years, I am having trouble finding peace within myself and my immediate world.  Seeing these two men today is inspiration for me to not give up trying! We are talking peace between two entire countries which is epic when you consider how hard it can be to attain peace within your very own skin!   If I can find a way to bring that sort of peace between the two “countries” within myself, I think things will get better at my house.

I think as a way to help myself get into a better frame of mind, I will be making some dog beds today out of old shower curtains and old pillows we have that the cats used to use. Not sure if I’ll sew things by hand or get out the sewing machine.

27 April 2018 – I am contemplating a sewing project today. My allergies have been acting up so it’s something I can do inside. I am going to use old cloth shower curtains.

26 April 2018 Drawings and Balancer

Hello to you.  Just a quick note to share what I’ve been up to this morning.  I had some anxiety show up out of nowhere this morning and I’ve been having trouble shaking it.  I decided to do a drawing and that actually helped.  I’m thinking about making myself a bunch of cards that I can draw from each day to help cheer me up if I need it.  The last time I did personal cards, I sat down and worked on it for hours.  This time I’m just going to do them as I feel like it.  I have two done so far.  The second one was inspired by seeing a trailer for the new Avengers movie that is showing today.

We had a busy day yesterday.  We had to drive to Arlington to my doctor’s office which is always very stressful.  I decided to take along a couple of things for my doctor to try to help her out as it must be so stressful being her seeing people like me each day!  I had some pretty heavy stuff to share and felt really bad because at home I had been being pretty hard on her!  I wanted to somehow show her my appreciation for at least trying to listen to my concerns and trying to care about me.  I gave her an aluminum pendant I had made.  It had a rainbow bead on it with it to symbolize hope and I also gave her, what I’m calling a “balancer” or healing wand to try out.  I mean who heals our doctors?!

The wands are adapted from the things I learned from the Keshe Foundation.  I am not selling these because I just don’t feel right about doing that.  Whenever I consider the idea, I end up going back to the original intention of Dr. Keshe sharing this information.  He gave to us for free so we could pass it on to pay the blessing forward and also to learn on our own.  Having the chance to learn about this technology online was very inspiring but very hard for me to keep up with!  I just don’t have the attention span for long lectures.  I never made my own Magrav power unit but did try several things related to the research like a battery and pain pens.

I ended up using the concepts to come up with things that I was interested in.  Some people are interested in the applications for home energy use, others are interested in food and health and still others are interested in how this technology could have applications for space travel.  I try to share the information whenever I have an appropriate opportunity.  I am hoping someone  may see what I share here and have it ignite a spark of imagination.  From my own personal experience and from what I’ve seen, you should never underestimate the power of human ingenuity!

Most times when I make things like this, it is my way of trying to give back to people who don’t often get any appreciation at all like my doctors.  Sometimes people ask me to make them things and if they provide me the materials and or the finances to acquire the materials, I will do it.   I had my husband “test” the one in the picture on himself.  He doesn’t always feel anything with these things.  With this one, he said he felt a magnetic pull on his skin.  With other ones I’ve had him there he has felt warmth.  The sensation for me is like a power surge.  I am wearing the one pictured to help me with my personal issues with physical, emotional and spiritual balance.  I can tell the difference when I have it on and when I take it off.  It might be partially a placebo, the “wanting it to work” and I guess with most anything, that’s half of achieving healing isn’t it?  Belief that you will get better, that you can be better?  Wouldn’t it be nice if we could wear such a device and not need so many pills and surgeries?!  May be some day!

If you decide to make these types of things for yourself, remember they will not have my energy signature which is different than yours will be.  No one has the same energy signature.  From personal experience, I believe whatever you craft with your own hands is imbued with your personal energy.  If you were to try and manufacture these with a machine, I doubt they would have the same effect but I don’t know for sure.  I think it’s better to personalize this sort of device with a hands-on approach.  Kind of like in the old days when crafters like blacksmiths and the like made their own tools that were suited perfectly to them.

26 April 2018 – this is something I made for myself using what I learned from the Keshe Foundation. Here is a link to information about other applications if you would like to make an power unit for your home or automobile: https://www.slideshare.net/exopolitika/keshe-magrav-power-coil-production-step-by-step-pp24-oct302015

Anyhew…hope this is helpful.  I have made wands like this the side of earrings.  I use screwdrivers of varying sizes to wind the coils.  Sometimes I use hot glue to seal the openings on the end etc.  I purchased the wire at Michael’s craft store in Burleson.  It is 20 gauge copper wire from a company named Bead Landing in Pakistan.  Before using the wire, I prayed for those people who make the wire that I have the privilege to use for this purpose.   I try to do that for everything I buy and use.  There is so much involved the production of just about everything we often take for granted in this world!

P.S we found a essential oil diffuser at Michael’s yesterday and it didn’t require a filter!  So far so good!  Both of our allergies have been really acting up and diffusing Young Living Peppermint oil has been helping.  If we still had Amber and May, our cats, I don’t know if we could do this as they both seemed sensitive to this sort of thing.

(Thinking this may be my husband and my anniversary date movie!  I am excited to see everyone working together.  I would love it if somehow DC and Marvel did the same.  Can you imagine?!  I know blasphemy but hey, I am a dreamer!)

Marvel Studios’ Avengers: Infinity War – Official Trailer

25 April 2018 Warranty, Guarantee and Word

Good morning to you, at least it is here as I write.  I’m up very early.  My allergies kicking in after the yard work yesterday.  Since I couldn’t sleep anyway, a word kept popping in my head and that was Warranty.  I know weird right?!  Well I guess I had that come up because of all the things that are going on with our house right now to include ants.  Yesterday afternoon I went out and followed some ants that were going from our garden, along a wooden garden fence and along the wall all the way to the front of the house!  This has been a  recurring thing for us.  Sometimes it feels like a mistake to have bought this house.

24 April 2018 ants on the side of the house looking like they are making a nest in the walls. We’ve had them get into the house and into our laundry basket before!

When we first moved in here, back in November of 2009, we had inspections done to check for insects and other things going on.  Everything came up fine.  Then shortly after we got settled in we had a major termite infestation along the back of the house and had the company Terminix come and do a treatment along the entire perimeter of the house that cost us thousands of dollars.  Neighbors told us that the original builders for the homes here had some pretty shady stuff going on and were run off.  I guess they didn’t catch them in time so that Masonite siding wasn’t put on our house which we have had to recently spend thousands of dollars to replace with aluminum siding.

Then we were paying these folks to come out on a regular basis until I started to realize that if we were killing insects, we were probably doing something to ourselves and our pets too!  I started to think about how when we would bag up our leaves and yard waste that we might be taking away the insects food etc., but after yesterday, I’m not sure that is what is going on with ants.  After all I’m not an ant right?!  They don’t think like humans do even though they are very intelligent it seems.  I’m wondering if all the new construction near us, the rise in a bunch of folks to include the those the city contracts to maintain the grass by the side of our road and myself cutting the lawn and stuff may have stirred them up into emergency mode.  They seemed to be gathering eggs and trying to hide.  Most people don’t really consider this, but I have really started to these past few years, that what we do to nature will come back, in some cases, and literally bite us.  When our homes are disrupted for whatever reason we move and I’ve noticed this also the way of insects.  I try to use the least “nasty” way I can to deal with insect problems because I don’t want my husband, dogs or myself to be affected too!

A couple of years ago, we decided to put in a new shower.  What happened is the old shower developed a leak in the floor and we couldn’t afford to fix it properly.  When we finally could afford it, we contracted a company named Bathfitters to put in a built-in shower.  What a mess that was and it had to be done more than once!  When they initially pulled everything out and there was a lot of mold from the previous shower problem.  Rather than stopping what they were doing, they just kept going and it ended up having to all be ripped out again.   Turns out there was pre-existing termite damage to the walls and an incredible amount of mold that wasn’t caught by home inspectors before we bought the house.  There were even cockroaches that seemed to have been asleep in the wall!  Wow did that ever freak us out to find huge cockroaches in the wall.  After the wall was opened up, a bunch of them came out and freaked us out so bad we taped off the bathroom for a couple of days!  Then we vacuumed them up and couldn’t believe they survived!  I felt so bad for them!  We decided to put them outside.  Any cockroach I’ve come across in the house since, which is extremely rare because we try to keep the house clean, I get back outside.

Anyhew, back to the shower.   We had to pay for someone to come and inspect the mold and do lab work which cost us almost $1,000 out of pocket. it wasn’t covered by our Homeowners Insurance.  Thankfully we didn’t get sick, which was a relief.  If anything we probably got a boost to our immune systems!  We had a Warranty with Terminix for termite damage but since it seemed to be a pre-existing condition, they didn’t honor the warranty and it felt like we had been paying for nothing.  We discontinued services with them after we had them come out and do an exclusion service for mice and rats in the attic.  Yeah…that problem too lol.  If it hadn’t been for the USAA inspector, we would have had little to now help with what we went through.  Not only did he do the inspection for the shower, this professional made sure we had an updated fire extinguisher and inspected our other water related appliances and gave us some advice on how to prevent problems.  Sadly that didn’t stop our water heater from going and flooding out our garage later but we appreciated his help.

A couple of years ago, a neighbor had her entire front walk rise up and they had already had numerous foundation repairs.  She told me she had a geologist come out and they told her that these houses with straight up slab to soil foundations shouldn’t have been built.  The geologist told her this kind of soil was for growing cotton. I don’t know about growing cotton in this soil, but I do know it is expansive clay soil that expands when we have dry weather and contracts when it rains.  I could probably make pots out of the soil when it’s wet if I wanted to,  When it’s been really dry, I’ve been able to lower the entire handle of a garden hoe into it!  After the first time I was able to do that and noticed the same thing in the field where new houses have been built,  I started putting tree branches and stuff in the huge cracks, like giving the earth stitches I guess,  to try and seal things up.  This seemed to help some with what was going on in our backyard.

It feels like every single thing that has gone wrong with our house, the HVAC going, the water heater, the fence rotting out, the existing windows being crap, the foundation of the house being cracked, the repairs we’ve had to do to the inside of the house because the foundation is bad, basically anything water related, insect issues, electrical issues….all this and more is not covered by any sort of warranty and when it is, the people who did the work are less than pleased to honor their warranty.  These are all things that go with home ownership they don’t seem to figure in when banks and mortgage companies  determine whether or not you can afford to own a home!  I want so much to be able to just live in my home and be grateful for the blessing, but it’s hard when it feels like all your doing is having to do crisis management.  Very stressful and not helpful to someone like myself going through personal issues already.

Most companies do not make money doing warranty work.  As I mentioned, the Masonite rotted out on our house so we hired Home Depot to come out and put up aluminum siding.  They contracted an independent contractor to do the work.  What are the chances that if something ends up failing on this work will I be able to have the same people who originally did the work come back and do repairs?  Not very likely.   We talked to these folks a bit, even fed them.  They mentioned being put in the position of having to get rid of materials from the job in their personal garbage!  I suggested they talk with Home Depot about this and I also included this in my feedback to the company after the job was done.

We’ve had storms since we moved here.  We’ve had roof was inspected by USAA.  They only found one panel out of place and didn’t want to replace the roof like has been done for other neighbors.  So now if we want to get a new roof, it’s basically hoping there is enough damage to call for repair or having to spend thousands of dollars out of pocket when we can afford it.  We don’t have flood insurance so if anything happens as far as water damage, I doubt we’ll be covered.

What are the chances, that my new fence is already failing because we chose not to put toxic chemicals on it to seal it, that they would honor their warranty?  The two men, both Hispanic, who I talked to didn’t seem sure they were even going to get paid for their work!  So now I’m stuck with another bad fence I have to figure out how to repair myself or take the chance at hiring someone to come out to fix.  We tried to hire our neighbor first, a veteran, but he didn’t want the job.

I can remember talking the man who did our foundation repair and we talked about a reason I suspect our foundation is having problems is fracking by the natural gas and oil industry.  I feel like the house and the soil around it gets shaken like a flour sifter.  He didn’t disagree with me.  He told me that most of what his company ends up doing is warranty work.  After the second time I called him to come out and he “didn’t find anything wrong” I just stopped calling him.  We had foundation repairs done on only half the house and probably needed it all the way around….we couldn’t afford it.

We paid over $1,000 to a person who owns his own business to come out and repair the ceilings that were a problem even before we bought the house, and all the problems that they were supposed to fix came undone almost right after they did them.  We had them come out more than once to fix their work and it got to a point why bother!   We could have taken them to small claims court but decided it was more trouble than it was worth.

Since we started this whole home adventure, one person, the person who installed our HVAC unit, has truly honored his work.  It was the owner of Cool Climate who installed the system and when there was a problem, he was the one who came out and did the repairs free of charge.

25 April 2018 – this is me using logic to tackle the meaning of words. I use the alphabet 1-26 and assign a numerical value to each word. Don’t know if this makes sense to anyone else but it does to me.

This morning I decided to “number out” the numerical values of the words Warranty, Guarantee and Word.  It was interesting to see that the values of Warranty and Word both ended up with an odd value, 3.   How I interpret this is both are subject to interpretation of more than one person.  The numerical value of Guarantee came back to the value of 1.  I interpret this to mean if you guarantee your work, it all comes back to you.  If there is something wrong with what you’ve made or something you’ve done and you made a guarantee…then if you don’t honor it, it ultimately reflects back on you and your reputation.  So to me, and from my personal experience warranties and words can be just about worthless depending on their motive for existing.  If you make a warranty on a product with no intention of ever honoring it or making it extremely difficult to be honored, why bother at all?  Why not just make good and services of such a quality you can guarantee they will be worthwhile?

What I have come to understand is home ownership is kind of a financial trap.  There is the illusion of ownership, but in truth, who is the master of the castle so to speak?  When I was in the military, we always had housing and when we could buy a house, I always chose to rent.  Renting had it’s own set of pitfalls but at least someone else was being help accountable for getting repairs done etc.  When I lived in base housing, there were standards to be met and if you didn’t meet them, you could face consequences through your chain of command.  Adapting to a world without consistent standards has been very difficult for me.  At least in the military, if I didn’t have a lawn mower or something there was a place I could go to borrow one so I could meet standards!

When we lived in Delaware it wasn’t easy living in a section 8 apartment but it was what we could afford and the only way we could keep my cats.  We got screwed many ways living there too, but at least it was easier to walk away.  I can’t just do that with this house without a high personal financial, mental, spiritual and physical toll to be taken on my husband, my dogs and myself.

The reason I’m sharing all this is because I know there must be many folks out there going through similar circumstances.  When you are going through stuff like we are, it can feel exasperating and overwhelming.  At times, this house seems almost like a person with health problems.  You fix one thing and then there are three other things wrong.  Sadly, we can only afford to fix one problem at a time and hope all the others don’t surface too quickly and  make it impossible to fix anything!   

24 April 2018 Drawing and Personal Difficulties with Laws

24 April 2018 Compass drawing today. The one with the red flower kind of looks like a Litten from Pokémon lol.

As you might be able to tell from my previous posts, I’ve been in a pretty negative head space the past couple of months.  Today the weather was really nice and so I decided to do some chores outside which included taking the weed whacker to our lawn (our electric mower stopped working), laundry with my husbands help and I did the drawing I’m sharing (hopefully you can make it out, using my old camera!).   Doing these things and having my husband and dogs around helped me too.  There have been a lot of things going on lately that have been setting me off, but I’ve been trying to deal with things the best I can.  Doing things like chores, crafts and listening to music really help.  I’ve started on another corner-to-corner blanket and that helps me when I’m restless watching television and also helps with winding down my mind before bed.  I haven’t been reading as much as I normally do but that’s ok.  It’s been a long time since I had a book/story that has kept my attention.

Yesterday I had something come up with people putting business cards and flyers in the mailbox trying to get us to call them for yard services.  I got pretty upset and walked some sensitive letters I wanted to mail out down to the post office.  I was concerned at finding someone had been in my mailbox that they might also mess with the mail I wanted to send out.  Sometimes, with the way I can be and my military background, I can get paranoid like that.  My husband and I very rarely, if ever, have hired a person to do yard work unless they have been recommended by a trusted family member and or friend.  One time, recently, we took a chance to allow a young person to rake leaves and kind of regretted doing that in hindsight.  He basically got money for doing nothing.  I was just trying to be charitable to him and ended up having to go behind him and do most of the work!  I am actually surprised his parents let him go to people’s houses like that unsupervised to begin with!

Anyhew!

Walking to the post office wasn’t a wasted trip.  It was great exercise and I found out that it’s actually illegal to put business cards or flyers in people’s mailboxes!  After I found this out, I felt guilty and like a hypocrite!  I think a year after we moved here,  I had tried to ask people, via flyers on the mailbox, if they wouldn’t hire Kyle and I to walk their dogs.  I have also put Christmas cards in people’s mailboxes in the neighborhood instead of handing them directly to them and you can’t do that either without putting postage on the letter!  So I learned a lot and felt like a hypocrite for getting mad at people for stuff I was guilty of myself.  This happens to me from time to time and it’s a humbling experience for sure!  I did some research on my own, as the folks at the post office said there is like a $300 fine.  What I found on this was from way back in 1997!  Here is a link:  https://www.gao.gov/products/GGD-97-85.  When I went to their official site, I couldn’t find a current answer to my questions.

To me it seems like we have a lot of laws in America that should be reviewed by somebody.  Are the existing laws really necessary and if so, are they actually being enforced?  The example I shared is an existing law that is not being enforced at the small town level.  With how large one mail carrier’s route is, how can they be expected to take care of these violations?  Are such violations merely the responsibility of the United States Postal Office or are they also the responsibility of local law enforcement?

I feel bad for everyone on this deal to include the people like me who can’t afford to start a business in the conventional way and are trying to find a way to make money.  Not everyone can afford expensive advertising using conventional means to get someone’s attention!  Around where I live, trying to start a lawn business is very popular.   When you try to just start a business on your own, however, there is a catch.  For example if I had actually got anyone to let me walk their dogs, what would happen if I got bit or hurt while doing it?  I didn’t have references, wasn’t licensed, bonded and or insured like a professional dog walker would be.  If something had happened while walking a dog, it would have been all on me and I would be held liable.  My husband and I aren’t exactly independently wealthy to be able to afford getting sued by somebody!  There are similar things involved with lawn service or any other kind of business.  Hiring someone who doesn’t have references, isn’t licensed, bonded or insured to do any kind of work is taking a big risk.

When I was growing up, mail was delivered directly to your front door instead of a box.  Then they had neighborhood mailboxes  for a time and they went away.  If I wanted to, I could pay extra for a P.O box but that would mean walking and or paying for gas to drive and pick up my mail every day.  Really kind of a mess isn’t it?!  We’ve had mail delivered via UPS or FedEx before and it’s gone missing before.  I don’t understand what happened to just having a box attached directly to your house but that’s just me.  There seems to be a lot of inconsistency in the postal and legal system here in the U.S.

This is just my opinion and I wanted to share this experience as it might help enlighten someone about this issue.